Fate - Chapter 33 - Strangers
Fate
Chapter 33 - Strangers
POV: Cassandra
November 4, 2006
The guys were busy working on the World Aids Day song, Great Divide, and getting things set up with that. I took the chance to just stay at the townhouse so Zac had taken my car to work this morning, leaving me in his words, the safer car. I didn’t care either way. I’d gotten up with Joshua and we’d had a pretty decent few hours of lounging and eating breakfast. Zac sent a message about 10 asking for me to bring food as he hadn’t had time to stop like he planned and they were stuck with conference calls all morning. I agreed and in looking around went ahead and made a list of the things we would need.
He had decided to host Thanksgiving, which meant we were doing most of the cooking and we were actually going to my parents for several days after to spend time with them. I wasn’t sure if having everyone here was a good idea but they all knew that I lived here now and that Zac and I weren’t just co-workers. He was my boyfriend.
I saw the photo from Halloween that he had printed the next day of the three of us, Saphira had taken it and it had a place on the wall already. I remembered the night but what really stuck out was that little old lady on the porch. She had thought Avery and Joshua were mine and while Zac corrected her that Avery wasn’t our daughter, he had not told her I wasn’t his mother.
Was he implying that he wanted me to be Joshua’s Mom? That he wouldn’t care if I considered myself Joshua’s mom and he considered me his mother? Did that mean Zac loved me enough to consider that a possibility? If that was the case, he hadn’t really said those words and really, I hadn’t either. But, I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about that. I’d been quick to say those words to Calvin and I didn’t want a repeat.
But, what if Megan came back and wanted him? Zac was adamant that she would never be that way and that she wouldn’t be coming back, but I couldn’t imagine giving this precious child up. There was another possibility, what if he and I didn’t make it either? I wouldn’t be able to ask for visitation of Joshua because he wasn’t my son and I had no leg to stand on there.
But wanting me to be his mom wasn’t a bad idea, I was pretty sure I would be decent. I mean, I had to be better than his actual mother. I wasn’t sure about more though, I wasn’t sure I could even have more or be able to and then what if we split up after having more?! It terrified me but at the same time I felt…happy. Maybe even elated.
About ten thirty I had my list ready, I had myself ready and I was getting Joshua changed because it was too cold outside for him to just have the thin pajamas on. Inside he was fine, but not outside. So, I put a solid white onesie on, with a long sleeve thick shirt over that and black footed pants, I even put socks on. Once he was ready we got loaded and left. I got his lunch first and took it by, perfect timing for Joshua to eat there too.
“You got him all dressed up for a quick trip here?” Zac asked.
“I’m going to the store afterwards, going to stock up on things we need in general and go ahead and get what we need for the holiday. Which, is there anything specific I don’t need to fix?”
“Desserts. Mom has that covered and Taylor and Harper said they would bring the drinks and rolls, Isaac and his girlfriend may not be there but he’s letting me know.”
“Okay.”
I didn’t need to revise my list at all. We stayed there until he had another call and then I headed to the store. He reminded me to get formula, diapers, and wipes so I added those. I had originally planned to take his other car seat so he could sit in it and ride but after that girl followed us for Halloween I decided that the carrier was better and he’d probably sleep better against me than in the seat.
I got the items that were around the store first, like diapers, wipes, toilet paper and even the dish soap and laundry detergent. Joshua was awake for about twenty minutes, but when I got to the food aisle I glanced down and found he was asleep. Sleeping was better that screaming in my book. I moved to the grocery aisle and was aiming for the non-cold foods first. I was getting more cereal, deciding if the name brand was better and finding it was. I then got several cans of formula. Moved on to the more adult stuff. I was in the produce section looking at the different types of lettuce, trying to decide.
“You’re Cassandra, right?”
I turned and a few feet away stood Zac’s ex-girlfriend, Maddilyn. I knew it was her because really, I’d seen her pictures for weeks at the studio.
“Right, Maddilyn if I remember correctly.”
“Most call me Maddi.”
“Cassie for me.”
“That cannot be Joshua. He’s gotten so big.”
“He’s gotten heavier too. But, yeah it’s Joshua. He’ll be five months old soon.”
“I can’t believe he’s already nearly five months, feels like yesterday Zac was telling me he was here.”
“They do grow fast, it’s always amazing to see how fast.”
“I see. He was about two months last time?”
“Something like that, yeah. He’s already a world traveler going to South Africa.”
“Zac took him?”
“Yeah, we both went with him. He had to have someone to watch him when they were busy.”
She blinked and stared for several moments. “Oh, I didn’t know you went with him.”
“How is your boyfriend, is it Neil? I think that was the name Zac said.”
“That was his name yes, we aren’t together anymore actually. I guess like Zac he couldn’t wait.”
“I’m sorry, he seemed like a good guy.”
“Uh…Is Zac here with you?”
“No, he’s at the studio working on a new song for AIDS awareness, I can’t really say anything else.”
I did wonder why she was asking though.
“You must be shopping for him then, diapers and formula. Although, he doesn’t cook so I doubt he can do much with the other items.”
“He’s a pretty decent cook. He does breakfast and burgers very well. Actually, I’m stocking up for the next few weeks and holidays. He’s decided to host Thanksgiving.”
She tilted her head to the side. “He is?”
“Well, technically we are but it is his family that will be there. We are then going to Florida to see mine afterwards.”
“We? I’m confused, he lives alone with Joshua how could it be we?”
I adjusted Joshua just a bit and it was a way to fill time because I wasn’t sure Zac wanted her to know or anyone really. But, she was just waiting for an answer and I had already said too much.
“I live with Zac and Joshua. I moved in back at the end of August. It was easier to watch Joshua and since I traveled with them it was so he could get use to me being there more. When we got home it just remained.”
“You…live with him? You said you were just the sitter.”
“Maddilyn it’s not my place to tell you.”
“But you are here. Are you saying that you and Zac are now dating?”
“We are, yes. Um, it wasn’t like that when you saw me in August, I really was just his sitter at that point.”
“Well, I didn’t think he’d move that fast with anyone. He wouldn’t even live with me until we were married. I guess he finally took my picture off his desk?”
“It’s of Joshua now.”
I really felt uncomfortable being the person to tell her and I didn’t want to say that her photo had been replaced with me and Joshua, so just Joshua was better.
“I guess I shouldn’t expect that he’d wait forever. Does he still have my ring?”
“Your ring?”
“When I left I gave him back my engagement ring. I presume he took it back.”
“I don’t know really, he never mentioned it.”
I wasn’t even fully aware that Zac had that ring still and if he did what did that mean? He had told me she had given it back though, but what he done with it was a mystery to me. She nodded and I wasn’t stupid, she still loved him. I could see it in her eyes and read it in her expressions.
“I uh…saw some pictures of you from Halloween.”
“Oh?”
“Fans are everywhere, I didn’t really think that you were together though. I mean, I should have because his arm was around you and all.”
“There was a lady following us actually probably her, it was a fun night.”
“Even at home?”
Ah, there is was the proverbial fishing question as to how far our relationship went. I didn’t completely mind telling her that we were together but telling her we were indeed sleeping together was too much.
“You know that might be pushing it Maddilyn. I’m sorry that you couldn’t find out about us from Zac, but I imagine that is how he felt when he saw you with Neil the first time. I’ll let him know you said Hi but I should get going and get this done I have a lot to get and Joshua won’t sleep forever.”
I wasn’t even going to offer to let her see him more because really his head was being supported my breast and she didn’t need to be that close.
“I see. It was good seeing you, maybe we’ll see each other again someday.”
“Maybe.”
She got the bag of lettuce she apparently came here for and then walked away. I took a moment before I continued shopping and checked out. But that doubt was there because Zac spent four years of his life with her and he had told me there intimate side hadn’t progressed past oral sex, which kind of explained his skills there. But, ours was past that. It took a little extra time for check out and loading the car, she was in the parking lot and seemed astonished that I was in his truck.
When I got back Joshua went on the pallet until I could get things inside the house and somewhat in the right places. I then changed him and got him fed before putting him in the bouncer in the kitchen with me so I could put things up. He babbled to me the whole time, endless string of coos and noises and even kicks and movement. I went ahead and fixed dinner but knew Zac would probably be late but I sent him a message so he’d know it was here.
Curiosity though hit me right after dinner and while I’d never been a snoopy person I wanted to know. I knew where not to look for this elusive ring and there was a part of me that really hoped he had taken it back. But he hadn’t.
I found the diamond ring in the top drawer of the built ins in the closet, in the drawer he kept birth certificates and stuff. The box wasn’t that dusty either so it was clear he hadn’t put it here and forgot it. What exactly did that mean? He kept an engagement ring for her when they weren’t even together and even after he saw her with someone else. I left the ring where it was and just tried to forget it was there. He was with me now. I couldn’t expect him to simply forget about her all together.
Zac actually made it home about 7:30, which was early for him.
“Long day?”
“Too many conference calls.”
I heated up his dinner and he ate in the kitchen. He then sat with Joshua in the floor to play. Getting him to bounce on his legs and laugh. I considered telling him about seeing Maddilyn today, but I didn’t. I did feel like I was neglecting to tell him about her breaking up with Neil because of my insecurity in his feelings for her. But really, she hadn’t said anything about calling him or anything.
I felt him lean against my leg. “You okay? You’ve been awfully quiet since I got home.”
“It was a long day and I didn’t get much accomplished really.”
Fuck he was fast because I was sitting on the sofa but the next moment I was in his lap and then he was attacking the inner part of my thigh which was so fucking ticklish. Clearly Joshua didn’t mind, he laughed with me and he was just laying there watching.
“Mercy! I call mercy here!”
He smiled and went after my neck with those lips and I was pretty much subdued into being much less down and how could I feel anything else but loved with them both here? But while I was sure Joshua did love me in the ways that babies know, I wasn’t sure about Zac, not yet anyway.
Chapter 33 - Strangers
POV: Cassandra
November 4, 2006
The guys were busy working on the World Aids Day song, Great Divide, and getting things set up with that. I took the chance to just stay at the townhouse so Zac had taken my car to work this morning, leaving me in his words, the safer car. I didn’t care either way. I’d gotten up with Joshua and we’d had a pretty decent few hours of lounging and eating breakfast. Zac sent a message about 10 asking for me to bring food as he hadn’t had time to stop like he planned and they were stuck with conference calls all morning. I agreed and in looking around went ahead and made a list of the things we would need.
He had decided to host Thanksgiving, which meant we were doing most of the cooking and we were actually going to my parents for several days after to spend time with them. I wasn’t sure if having everyone here was a good idea but they all knew that I lived here now and that Zac and I weren’t just co-workers. He was my boyfriend.
I saw the photo from Halloween that he had printed the next day of the three of us, Saphira had taken it and it had a place on the wall already. I remembered the night but what really stuck out was that little old lady on the porch. She had thought Avery and Joshua were mine and while Zac corrected her that Avery wasn’t our daughter, he had not told her I wasn’t his mother.
Was he implying that he wanted me to be Joshua’s Mom? That he wouldn’t care if I considered myself Joshua’s mom and he considered me his mother? Did that mean Zac loved me enough to consider that a possibility? If that was the case, he hadn’t really said those words and really, I hadn’t either. But, I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about that. I’d been quick to say those words to Calvin and I didn’t want a repeat.
But, what if Megan came back and wanted him? Zac was adamant that she would never be that way and that she wouldn’t be coming back, but I couldn’t imagine giving this precious child up. There was another possibility, what if he and I didn’t make it either? I wouldn’t be able to ask for visitation of Joshua because he wasn’t my son and I had no leg to stand on there.
But wanting me to be his mom wasn’t a bad idea, I was pretty sure I would be decent. I mean, I had to be better than his actual mother. I wasn’t sure about more though, I wasn’t sure I could even have more or be able to and then what if we split up after having more?! It terrified me but at the same time I felt…happy. Maybe even elated.
About ten thirty I had my list ready, I had myself ready and I was getting Joshua changed because it was too cold outside for him to just have the thin pajamas on. Inside he was fine, but not outside. So, I put a solid white onesie on, with a long sleeve thick shirt over that and black footed pants, I even put socks on. Once he was ready we got loaded and left. I got his lunch first and took it by, perfect timing for Joshua to eat there too.
“You got him all dressed up for a quick trip here?” Zac asked.
“I’m going to the store afterwards, going to stock up on things we need in general and go ahead and get what we need for the holiday. Which, is there anything specific I don’t need to fix?”
“Desserts. Mom has that covered and Taylor and Harper said they would bring the drinks and rolls, Isaac and his girlfriend may not be there but he’s letting me know.”
“Okay.”
I didn’t need to revise my list at all. We stayed there until he had another call and then I headed to the store. He reminded me to get formula, diapers, and wipes so I added those. I had originally planned to take his other car seat so he could sit in it and ride but after that girl followed us for Halloween I decided that the carrier was better and he’d probably sleep better against me than in the seat.
I got the items that were around the store first, like diapers, wipes, toilet paper and even the dish soap and laundry detergent. Joshua was awake for about twenty minutes, but when I got to the food aisle I glanced down and found he was asleep. Sleeping was better that screaming in my book. I moved to the grocery aisle and was aiming for the non-cold foods first. I was getting more cereal, deciding if the name brand was better and finding it was. I then got several cans of formula. Moved on to the more adult stuff. I was in the produce section looking at the different types of lettuce, trying to decide.
“You’re Cassandra, right?”
I turned and a few feet away stood Zac’s ex-girlfriend, Maddilyn. I knew it was her because really, I’d seen her pictures for weeks at the studio.
“Right, Maddilyn if I remember correctly.”
“Most call me Maddi.”
“Cassie for me.”
“That cannot be Joshua. He’s gotten so big.”
“He’s gotten heavier too. But, yeah it’s Joshua. He’ll be five months old soon.”
“I can’t believe he’s already nearly five months, feels like yesterday Zac was telling me he was here.”
“They do grow fast, it’s always amazing to see how fast.”
“I see. He was about two months last time?”
“Something like that, yeah. He’s already a world traveler going to South Africa.”
“Zac took him?”
“Yeah, we both went with him. He had to have someone to watch him when they were busy.”
She blinked and stared for several moments. “Oh, I didn’t know you went with him.”
“How is your boyfriend, is it Neil? I think that was the name Zac said.”
“That was his name yes, we aren’t together anymore actually. I guess like Zac he couldn’t wait.”
“I’m sorry, he seemed like a good guy.”
“Uh…Is Zac here with you?”
“No, he’s at the studio working on a new song for AIDS awareness, I can’t really say anything else.”
I did wonder why she was asking though.
“You must be shopping for him then, diapers and formula. Although, he doesn’t cook so I doubt he can do much with the other items.”
“He’s a pretty decent cook. He does breakfast and burgers very well. Actually, I’m stocking up for the next few weeks and holidays. He’s decided to host Thanksgiving.”
She tilted her head to the side. “He is?”
“Well, technically we are but it is his family that will be there. We are then going to Florida to see mine afterwards.”
“We? I’m confused, he lives alone with Joshua how could it be we?”
I adjusted Joshua just a bit and it was a way to fill time because I wasn’t sure Zac wanted her to know or anyone really. But, she was just waiting for an answer and I had already said too much.
“I live with Zac and Joshua. I moved in back at the end of August. It was easier to watch Joshua and since I traveled with them it was so he could get use to me being there more. When we got home it just remained.”
“You…live with him? You said you were just the sitter.”
“Maddilyn it’s not my place to tell you.”
“But you are here. Are you saying that you and Zac are now dating?”
“We are, yes. Um, it wasn’t like that when you saw me in August, I really was just his sitter at that point.”
“Well, I didn’t think he’d move that fast with anyone. He wouldn’t even live with me until we were married. I guess he finally took my picture off his desk?”
“It’s of Joshua now.”
I really felt uncomfortable being the person to tell her and I didn’t want to say that her photo had been replaced with me and Joshua, so just Joshua was better.
“I guess I shouldn’t expect that he’d wait forever. Does he still have my ring?”
“Your ring?”
“When I left I gave him back my engagement ring. I presume he took it back.”
“I don’t know really, he never mentioned it.”
I wasn’t even fully aware that Zac had that ring still and if he did what did that mean? He had told me she had given it back though, but what he done with it was a mystery to me. She nodded and I wasn’t stupid, she still loved him. I could see it in her eyes and read it in her expressions.
“I uh…saw some pictures of you from Halloween.”
“Oh?”
“Fans are everywhere, I didn’t really think that you were together though. I mean, I should have because his arm was around you and all.”
“There was a lady following us actually probably her, it was a fun night.”
“Even at home?”
Ah, there is was the proverbial fishing question as to how far our relationship went. I didn’t completely mind telling her that we were together but telling her we were indeed sleeping together was too much.
“You know that might be pushing it Maddilyn. I’m sorry that you couldn’t find out about us from Zac, but I imagine that is how he felt when he saw you with Neil the first time. I’ll let him know you said Hi but I should get going and get this done I have a lot to get and Joshua won’t sleep forever.”
I wasn’t even going to offer to let her see him more because really his head was being supported my breast and she didn’t need to be that close.
“I see. It was good seeing you, maybe we’ll see each other again someday.”
“Maybe.”
She got the bag of lettuce she apparently came here for and then walked away. I took a moment before I continued shopping and checked out. But that doubt was there because Zac spent four years of his life with her and he had told me there intimate side hadn’t progressed past oral sex, which kind of explained his skills there. But, ours was past that. It took a little extra time for check out and loading the car, she was in the parking lot and seemed astonished that I was in his truck.
When I got back Joshua went on the pallet until I could get things inside the house and somewhat in the right places. I then changed him and got him fed before putting him in the bouncer in the kitchen with me so I could put things up. He babbled to me the whole time, endless string of coos and noises and even kicks and movement. I went ahead and fixed dinner but knew Zac would probably be late but I sent him a message so he’d know it was here.
Curiosity though hit me right after dinner and while I’d never been a snoopy person I wanted to know. I knew where not to look for this elusive ring and there was a part of me that really hoped he had taken it back. But he hadn’t.
I found the diamond ring in the top drawer of the built ins in the closet, in the drawer he kept birth certificates and stuff. The box wasn’t that dusty either so it was clear he hadn’t put it here and forgot it. What exactly did that mean? He kept an engagement ring for her when they weren’t even together and even after he saw her with someone else. I left the ring where it was and just tried to forget it was there. He was with me now. I couldn’t expect him to simply forget about her all together.
Zac actually made it home about 7:30, which was early for him.
“Long day?”
“Too many conference calls.”
I heated up his dinner and he ate in the kitchen. He then sat with Joshua in the floor to play. Getting him to bounce on his legs and laugh. I considered telling him about seeing Maddilyn today, but I didn’t. I did feel like I was neglecting to tell him about her breaking up with Neil because of my insecurity in his feelings for her. But really, she hadn’t said anything about calling him or anything.
I felt him lean against my leg. “You okay? You’ve been awfully quiet since I got home.”
“It was a long day and I didn’t get much accomplished really.”
Fuck he was fast because I was sitting on the sofa but the next moment I was in his lap and then he was attacking the inner part of my thigh which was so fucking ticklish. Clearly Joshua didn’t mind, he laughed with me and he was just laying there watching.
“Mercy! I call mercy here!”
He smiled and went after my neck with those lips and I was pretty much subdued into being much less down and how could I feel anything else but loved with them both here? But while I was sure Joshua did love me in the ways that babies know, I wasn’t sure about Zac, not yet anyway.