(no subject)
You know, there are times sometimes like on Friday where I never want to leave Lock Haven. On friday Sean met all the 511 guys and we went up to hyner view and just grilled steaks and burgers, played with footballs and frisbees. I have pics of it, but they're from last year..
Anyways, the point of that is that place is beautiful. And with 10 good friends, it's even better. I had so much fun, it was so warm out and I was so relaxed. And then there are times like these where I cannot wait to just get the fuck out here. Sometimes I just get sick of this place and I just want out. I want to be home, I want to be at a new school, I want to be closer to Sean. It just seems like lately I am being so let down .. My mom no longer can come up to visit, my brother and sister probably never will, along with my Dad who wont even remember that he said he'd come up, Sean may or may not make it one more time, I'll never get my romantic dinner from sean that was promised for our 1 year... and that's understandable though, we're both just crazy poor. I just want to have a house/apartment, be moved in, be on my own. I just want something new. I can't wait. I can't wait to be working again, going to school somewhere else, having a relationship. I'll feel like I'm finally on my own, my own place, my own money, my own independence. I'm so ready to work my butt off AU. Unfortunately, I've got a bad faux version fo Senioritis here at LHU. It's like I know I'm transferring, I know my GPA isn't going to transfer and I know I'm just ready to go there... so I never feel like doing anything rather then spending time with the people who only have 4 weeks left with me. It's amazing how time flies.
Do you know how hard I will cry when I leave this place? See? See how bipolar I am? A second ago I was like, 'I can't wait to get out of here,' now I'm talking about how hard I'll cry. Can you feel both at the same time? Can I be SO excited to get out of here and SO excited to start something new, but then again be sad about leaving and just want to cry at the thought? I don't regret transferring (not yet atleast). It's what I really want. I'm so excited to go there, I wanted to go when I was in High School, but they wouldnt let me in. I'm just hoping that I can pass and get good grades and have a good time. I'm just so .. It's like I know we only have 4 weeks and I want them to go by so fast, I want it to be May and I want it over with, but then I hope that these next 4 weeks creep by and that nobody thinks of me as leaving and everyone just has a good time with me and creates some awesome memories...
I'm going to miss LHU, but I'm so excited for AU.
Warning: Expect extremely crazy emo mushy thoughtful entries within the next four weeks!
Anyways, the point of that is that place is beautiful. And with 10 good friends, it's even better. I had so much fun, it was so warm out and I was so relaxed. And then there are times like these where I cannot wait to just get the fuck out here. Sometimes I just get sick of this place and I just want out. I want to be home, I want to be at a new school, I want to be closer to Sean. It just seems like lately I am being so let down .. My mom no longer can come up to visit, my brother and sister probably never will, along with my Dad who wont even remember that he said he'd come up, Sean may or may not make it one more time, I'll never get my romantic dinner from sean that was promised for our 1 year... and that's understandable though, we're both just crazy poor. I just want to have a house/apartment, be moved in, be on my own. I just want something new. I can't wait. I can't wait to be working again, going to school somewhere else, having a relationship. I'll feel like I'm finally on my own, my own place, my own money, my own independence. I'm so ready to work my butt off AU. Unfortunately, I've got a bad faux version fo Senioritis here at LHU. It's like I know I'm transferring, I know my GPA isn't going to transfer and I know I'm just ready to go there... so I never feel like doing anything rather then spending time with the people who only have 4 weeks left with me. It's amazing how time flies.
Do you know how hard I will cry when I leave this place? See? See how bipolar I am? A second ago I was like, 'I can't wait to get out of here,' now I'm talking about how hard I'll cry. Can you feel both at the same time? Can I be SO excited to get out of here and SO excited to start something new, but then again be sad about leaving and just want to cry at the thought? I don't regret transferring (not yet atleast). It's what I really want. I'm so excited to go there, I wanted to go when I was in High School, but they wouldnt let me in. I'm just hoping that I can pass and get good grades and have a good time. I'm just so .. It's like I know we only have 4 weeks and I want them to go by so fast, I want it to be May and I want it over with, but then I hope that these next 4 weeks creep by and that nobody thinks of me as leaving and everyone just has a good time with me and creates some awesome memories...
I'm going to miss LHU, but I'm so excited for AU.
Warning: Expect extremely crazy emo mushy thoughtful entries within the next four weeks!