i dont know anymore

[itzallimliving4]

Sometimes i feel like i have like no true friends...that im just here and its convient for people to talk to me because i listen...im sick of being that person...I'm also sick of people not thinking they can trust me...a friend tells me tonight that shes been "seeing" someone but didnt tell me because she was scared i would tell someone else...why would they think that? this isnt the first time this person did this to me...like last year on my birthday.....yeah...great friends i have. I'm just sick of everything always having to be about others...when is it gonna be my turn to complain or just vent...when do i get the chance to be like everyone else..

I re-thought my christmas list....here's what i want
1. I want to go home and not come back to King's
2. I want a boyfriend
3. I want to lose weight(I'm working on it)
4. I want "real" friends
5. I want a concert...it could be Michael Bolton for all i care...
6. I want a time machine....
7. I want to be happy
8. I don't want tuesday to come.....

Another year and its still hard...when will it get easier???