Never let your best friend borrow your laptop
A month offline! A whole month! Why? I let Tim borrow my laptop, didn't I? I think after that tackle that crippled me, this was the stupidest thing I have ever done. Not only did he try carrying it drunk, he dropped it down the backsteps (outside steps, I should clarify) and then barfed all over it. Needless to say, I wasn't getting it repaired, nor was I rolling in cash enough to buy a new one. It took a month to save for one, and Hallelujah for eBay. Which leads me to...
Things that happened in a month, Dillon-style
- Tim dropped my laptop down the back steps and barfed on it. He will pay, and I don't mean cash.
- Lived in delusion for about two weeks that I was gonna be a Dad. Again. Now I just think it's pretty fucking cool.
- Had to listen to Sam and Mac squeal over wedding magazines. What the hell is a princess cut, anyway?
- Had food poisoning once. Now everyone knows how wonderful it is to live with a gastrointestinally challenged cripple.
- Got accepted to New York University to do my Bachelor of Education. I'm gonna be a teacher. Who would've thought?
- Started apartment hunting in New York over the net and found fuck all.
- Got the How To Be A Good Father And Husband Talk off Coach... five times.
- Had my drinks spiked by Timmy three times.
- Babysat Gracie Bell for Mrs Coach. A daughter would be real cool.
- Got the How To Be A Good Father And Husband Talk off Dad... five times (I swear, they have been having secret meets about this).
- Tried to make sure Timmy at least knew how to spell "Columbia University" before becoming a student there.
- Helped Timmy get back into shape after his bad patch. Pretty damn proud of him right now.
- Talked Herc out of eloping with a one night stand.
- Ran into Suzi... which is a whole other story...
All in all, at least I'm still alive. Which is more than I can say for my laptop.
Things that happened in a month, Dillon-style
- Tim dropped my laptop down the back steps and barfed on it. He will pay, and I don't mean cash.
- Lived in delusion for about two weeks that I was gonna be a Dad. Again. Now I just think it's pretty fucking cool.
- Had to listen to Sam and Mac squeal over wedding magazines. What the hell is a princess cut, anyway?
- Had food poisoning once. Now everyone knows how wonderful it is to live with a gastrointestinally challenged cripple.
- Got accepted to New York University to do my Bachelor of Education. I'm gonna be a teacher. Who would've thought?
- Started apartment hunting in New York over the net and found fuck all.
- Got the How To Be A Good Father And Husband Talk off Coach... five times.
- Had my drinks spiked by Timmy three times.
- Babysat Gracie Bell for Mrs Coach. A daughter would be real cool.
- Got the How To Be A Good Father And Husband Talk off Dad... five times (I swear, they have been having secret meets about this).
- Tried to make sure Timmy at least knew how to spell "Columbia University" before becoming a student there.
- Helped Timmy get back into shape after his bad patch. Pretty damn proud of him right now.
- Talked Herc out of eloping with a one night stand.
- Ran into Suzi... which is a whole other story...
All in all, at least I'm still alive. Which is more than I can say for my laptop.