muses_w_remotes | 11.5. Absolutely Fabulous quote
11.5. "Yes, dear. Sometimes you get into a porn loop and just can't get out."
| Absolutely Fabulous
Co-written with texas33forever & comeswithcuffs
[Follows THIS]
Jason didn’t even know what time it was, he just knew it was late. And dark. But it was late and dark and he had that funny shiver at the top of his spine he sometimes got when he needed the bathroom. It was never an urge like normal people got, just now and again he had an unexplainable sensation that he needed to go. It was always better to be safe than sorry, even if about eight times out of ten the sensation was inaccurate or he didn’t make it in time. Still, it was the first night Mac was spending with him in the new place and the last thing he wanted to do was pee all over her in bed. In fact, he had realised he was getting a complex about that. He hadn’t really shared his bed regularly with anyone since the accident and while he usually had really good control in that area, he was now as paranoid as all hell. One thing he couldn’t deny was that ‘good’ wasn’t ‘perfect’ and there were still times he found himself in embarrassing situations.
So, it was late and it was dark and Jason decided a trip to the bathroom was vital. It was a process in itself getting out of bed and into his chair, especially when it was dark. He was pretty good at that, though, too. He managed to do it without waking Mac. Or at least so he thought. He didn’t actually realise that she worried about him and when he moved to get up, she woke. They were still early in their relationship. They had creases to iron out still yet.
Tim didn’t particularly know - or care - where he was. He just needed a piss. When he woke up, Sam was beside him, so he at least knew he was on the right track. Was he hung over? It felt a little like it. No, wait. That wasn’t a hangover, it was what happened when he didn’t drink and as far as he was concerned, that was worse than every hangover he had experienced in his life. It was like a fucked up rollercoaster and he just wanted off…
After he took a piss, though.
His eyes were barely opened as he stumbled out of the bed and felt his way towards what he hoped was the bathroom door. It wasn’t. It lead to a hall and suddenly it didn’t feel like a rollercoaster, just more like one of those stupid video games where the little dude walked aimlessly around hallways collecting things like bananas and jewels for absolutely no fucking purpose at all. “Fuck,” he cursed, his voice hoarse from sleep. He had to open his eyes a bit more now to try and figure out where the fuck he was meant to be going. He kicked his toe twice and bumped into the wall once with a soft thud. It hardly hurt. Maybe the time in hospital detoxing had raised his pain thresholds tenfold.
Jason had the luxury of close to a week to familiarise himself with the new home. It wasn’t overly huge, but it did the job. Plus, the bathroom was nearby the bedrooms which was a bit of an advantage in some cases. Still, an executive decision had been made to place a radio in there in case anyone felt paranoid in there and music could be played to drown out noises, or in Jason’s case, just because he liked the novelty of having a radio in the bathroom and put it on when he used the toilet, shaved, showered, brushed his teeth, cleaned the sink, et cetera.
He turned out into the hallway and veered left towards the bathroom. He was just going to be quick because it was freezing and he wanted to get back into bed with Mac. She still wasn’t one hundred percent, though it was mostly just the annoying things like a constantly running nose, coughing, and a lingering fever. Jason had stayed with her through the worst part of it all and when she was feeling better, suggested they come back here. She hadn’t protested one bit and they had been sleeping and oblivious when Sam and Tim arrived home, meaning even now Jason didn’t realise they had company in the home.
He was wheeling fast up the hall and nearly ran Tim over in the rush. He caught the brakes just in time and screeched to a halt on the polished floorboards, a shriek emitting from his lips that rivalled the screech of the rubber wheels as he slammed his eyes shut and put his hand over his face. “Oh shit, oh fuck!” he swore, panicked. “Please tell me I didn’t just see my best friend naked! God, you are. You are! Why the fuck are you walking up the hall naked in a shared house?! Why the fuck are you even here?! You weren’t here!”
Tim’s groggy brain barely registered and he got out nothing more than a dull, “Huh?” in response. Why was Six here? Weren’t they at Sam’s? He tried to get his bearings, but didn’t have time before the hall was suddenly flooded with a bright light and he slapped both his hands over his eyes with a groan to shut it out. “What the fuck?”
When she switched on the light to try and see what all the shrieking was about, Mac squeaked and put her hand over her mouth in shock. Her boyfriend was there in his chair shielding his eyes and Tim Riggins was standing just a few paces away in all his naked glory. That certainly wasn’t the scene she had expected to find when exiting Jason’s bedroom. She had expected Jason to maybe have hurt himself, fallen out of the chair, not reached the bathroom in time… anything but Tim Riggins naked. She did the only reactionary thing her brain seemed to allow her to do - she started to giggle. “Oh… god…” she got out through the laughter.
Jason turned around to look at her, clearly surveying whether she was copping a perve on Tim’s assets. Inevitably she was, but it seemed more reflexive than anything else. He manoeuvred his chair and tried to intercept the view, frowning. “Hey!” he protested. Not that he wanted to get closer to Riggins Au Naturale, but it was the better option than leaving the free show for his girlfriend. “I don’t even know why you’re here when you’re supposed to be in hospital, but go and get some damn pants on, Riggins!”
“I gotta take a piss,” Tim argued groggily, rubbing at his face. “Where the fuck is the fuckin’ bathroom? I ain’t a fuckin’ walkin' map, ya’ know.”
That reminded Jason why he was even in the hallway in the middle of the night in the first place. “No, I’ve gotta go. You can damn well wait,” he said, trying to get past Tim.
“I gotta go more than you,” Tim threw back, blocking Jason’s path. “I was here first.”
“It’s my place,” Jason returned and elbowed Tim in the thigh.
“So?” was Tim’s lame response. “I’ll beat ya’. I ain’t a cripple.”
“You will be if you don’t get outta my way,” Jason warned, still nudging at his friends.
Tim snorted in annoyance. “I’ll go piss on ya’ pansies.”
“Good luck. We don’t have a garden,” Jason practically growled.
“I’ll go in ya’ sink then.”
Mac realised this was the point to jump in. “Urgh, hell, Riggs. Ya’ ain’t pissin’ in no one’s sink. Break it up, boys. It’s too goddamn late for crap like this. Riggs, go take ya’ piss but be quick. Ya’ make QB wet himself and I’ll slap ya’ down.” She paused and smirked. “And there ain’t no time t’collect ya’ pants, either. Go on, get to it.” She waved her hand.
Jason’s mouth dropped open in protest. “Stop looking at him!” he cried, jealously never having been a strong point for him.
Mac tucked her finger under Jason’s chin and grinned down at him. “He ain’t got nothing on ya’, baby,” she assured him. “I might needta take a lil peek down ya’ boxers just to make sure, though.”
Tim groaned and turned a stumbling three-sixty circle on the spot. “Will someone please get me outta this hell and tell me where the fuckin’ bathroom is?” he begged. “I ain’t playin’ spectator to no quad sex.”
Jason was too distracted by the way Mac was looking at him, though. “It’s the room with the toilet,” he managed to get out before he had Mac in a deep possessive snog.
“Fuck,” Tim muttered and felt his away along the hall. “Hospital’s lookin’ better by the minute.”
Word Count | 1,456
| Absolutely Fabulous
Co-written with texas33forever & comeswithcuffs
[Follows THIS]
Jason didn’t even know what time it was, he just knew it was late. And dark. But it was late and dark and he had that funny shiver at the top of his spine he sometimes got when he needed the bathroom. It was never an urge like normal people got, just now and again he had an unexplainable sensation that he needed to go. It was always better to be safe than sorry, even if about eight times out of ten the sensation was inaccurate or he didn’t make it in time. Still, it was the first night Mac was spending with him in the new place and the last thing he wanted to do was pee all over her in bed. In fact, he had realised he was getting a complex about that. He hadn’t really shared his bed regularly with anyone since the accident and while he usually had really good control in that area, he was now as paranoid as all hell. One thing he couldn’t deny was that ‘good’ wasn’t ‘perfect’ and there were still times he found himself in embarrassing situations.
So, it was late and it was dark and Jason decided a trip to the bathroom was vital. It was a process in itself getting out of bed and into his chair, especially when it was dark. He was pretty good at that, though, too. He managed to do it without waking Mac. Or at least so he thought. He didn’t actually realise that she worried about him and when he moved to get up, she woke. They were still early in their relationship. They had creases to iron out still yet.
Tim didn’t particularly know - or care - where he was. He just needed a piss. When he woke up, Sam was beside him, so he at least knew he was on the right track. Was he hung over? It felt a little like it. No, wait. That wasn’t a hangover, it was what happened when he didn’t drink and as far as he was concerned, that was worse than every hangover he had experienced in his life. It was like a fucked up rollercoaster and he just wanted off…
After he took a piss, though.
His eyes were barely opened as he stumbled out of the bed and felt his way towards what he hoped was the bathroom door. It wasn’t. It lead to a hall and suddenly it didn’t feel like a rollercoaster, just more like one of those stupid video games where the little dude walked aimlessly around hallways collecting things like bananas and jewels for absolutely no fucking purpose at all. “Fuck,” he cursed, his voice hoarse from sleep. He had to open his eyes a bit more now to try and figure out where the fuck he was meant to be going. He kicked his toe twice and bumped into the wall once with a soft thud. It hardly hurt. Maybe the time in hospital detoxing had raised his pain thresholds tenfold.
Jason had the luxury of close to a week to familiarise himself with the new home. It wasn’t overly huge, but it did the job. Plus, the bathroom was nearby the bedrooms which was a bit of an advantage in some cases. Still, an executive decision had been made to place a radio in there in case anyone felt paranoid in there and music could be played to drown out noises, or in Jason’s case, just because he liked the novelty of having a radio in the bathroom and put it on when he used the toilet, shaved, showered, brushed his teeth, cleaned the sink, et cetera.
He turned out into the hallway and veered left towards the bathroom. He was just going to be quick because it was freezing and he wanted to get back into bed with Mac. She still wasn’t one hundred percent, though it was mostly just the annoying things like a constantly running nose, coughing, and a lingering fever. Jason had stayed with her through the worst part of it all and when she was feeling better, suggested they come back here. She hadn’t protested one bit and they had been sleeping and oblivious when Sam and Tim arrived home, meaning even now Jason didn’t realise they had company in the home.
He was wheeling fast up the hall and nearly ran Tim over in the rush. He caught the brakes just in time and screeched to a halt on the polished floorboards, a shriek emitting from his lips that rivalled the screech of the rubber wheels as he slammed his eyes shut and put his hand over his face. “Oh shit, oh fuck!” he swore, panicked. “Please tell me I didn’t just see my best friend naked! God, you are. You are! Why the fuck are you walking up the hall naked in a shared house?! Why the fuck are you even here?! You weren’t here!”
Tim’s groggy brain barely registered and he got out nothing more than a dull, “Huh?” in response. Why was Six here? Weren’t they at Sam’s? He tried to get his bearings, but didn’t have time before the hall was suddenly flooded with a bright light and he slapped both his hands over his eyes with a groan to shut it out. “What the fuck?”
When she switched on the light to try and see what all the shrieking was about, Mac squeaked and put her hand over her mouth in shock. Her boyfriend was there in his chair shielding his eyes and Tim Riggins was standing just a few paces away in all his naked glory. That certainly wasn’t the scene she had expected to find when exiting Jason’s bedroom. She had expected Jason to maybe have hurt himself, fallen out of the chair, not reached the bathroom in time… anything but Tim Riggins naked. She did the only reactionary thing her brain seemed to allow her to do - she started to giggle. “Oh… god…” she got out through the laughter.
Jason turned around to look at her, clearly surveying whether she was copping a perve on Tim’s assets. Inevitably she was, but it seemed more reflexive than anything else. He manoeuvred his chair and tried to intercept the view, frowning. “Hey!” he protested. Not that he wanted to get closer to Riggins Au Naturale, but it was the better option than leaving the free show for his girlfriend. “I don’t even know why you’re here when you’re supposed to be in hospital, but go and get some damn pants on, Riggins!”
“I gotta take a piss,” Tim argued groggily, rubbing at his face. “Where the fuck is the fuckin’ bathroom? I ain’t a fuckin’ walkin' map, ya’ know.”
That reminded Jason why he was even in the hallway in the middle of the night in the first place. “No, I’ve gotta go. You can damn well wait,” he said, trying to get past Tim.
“I gotta go more than you,” Tim threw back, blocking Jason’s path. “I was here first.”
“It’s my place,” Jason returned and elbowed Tim in the thigh.
“So?” was Tim’s lame response. “I’ll beat ya’. I ain’t a cripple.”
“You will be if you don’t get outta my way,” Jason warned, still nudging at his friends.
Tim snorted in annoyance. “I’ll go piss on ya’ pansies.”
“Good luck. We don’t have a garden,” Jason practically growled.
“I’ll go in ya’ sink then.”
Mac realised this was the point to jump in. “Urgh, hell, Riggs. Ya’ ain’t pissin’ in no one’s sink. Break it up, boys. It’s too goddamn late for crap like this. Riggs, go take ya’ piss but be quick. Ya’ make QB wet himself and I’ll slap ya’ down.” She paused and smirked. “And there ain’t no time t’collect ya’ pants, either. Go on, get to it.” She waved her hand.
Jason’s mouth dropped open in protest. “Stop looking at him!” he cried, jealously never having been a strong point for him.
Mac tucked her finger under Jason’s chin and grinned down at him. “He ain’t got nothing on ya’, baby,” she assured him. “I might needta take a lil peek down ya’ boxers just to make sure, though.”
Tim groaned and turned a stumbling three-sixty circle on the spot. “Will someone please get me outta this hell and tell me where the fuckin’ bathroom is?” he begged. “I ain’t playin’ spectator to no quad sex.”
Jason was too distracted by the way Mac was looking at him, though. “It’s the room with the toilet,” he managed to get out before he had Mac in a deep possessive snog.
“Fuck,” Tim muttered and felt his away along the hall. “Hospital’s lookin’ better by the minute.”
Word Count | 1,456