"Oh please," says Eleanor. She laughs, but she sounds stressed and tired, and Louis hates how much this is affecting everyone; it makes him feel so guilty even though he knows deep down they haven't done anything wrong. (He knows it, but he has to keep saying it to himself anyway, repeating it over and over in his head.)
I just -- ugh. UGH! That he has to repeat to himself that they haven't don anything wrong, because he doesn't believe it, he thinks they did do something wrong even though he knows they didn't, I just. Louis. Let me hug you and bake you cookies, baby. It's okay to be gay. :(
And then I literally cannot just choose a couple lines to flail at for the whole rest of the fic, so let me just FEELS at you about it!
THAT FIGHT. I CAN'T. It feels -- like, okay, I knew they weren't going to break up, because -- duh. But god, it FELT like such a breakup fight, like something no couple could come back from, and it hurt so badly to read. I can't even describe it. I just -- ugh. So painful. And then Liam and Louis going out
( ... )
I ALMOST DIDN'T GO THERE BECAUSE THE THOUGHT WAS SO HEARTBREAKING. Like, I never know if I think Louis is fine with being gay and just uncomfortable with it being other people's business, or if part of the reason he's uncomfortable with that is because he's just not happy with it himself. But I thought, if there was ANY part of him that felt there might be something wrong with him, even the tiniest part, this situation would make it so hard to fight back against. Because everyone is just CONFIRMING it, so that part of him would feel justified in thinking it in the first place. ;__;
Seriously SO GLAD you like the fight, because like I said, I really almost never write them and I was so intimidated by the thought of this one in particular because there were so many complicated emotions and everything was just finally spilling over. I'm kinda glad it seemed like a breakup fight too because that wasn't intentional but I'm sure it just made everything even more emotional, haha.
This. I can't. This is amazing and wow. I love how you are dealing with the aftermath, how there's so much lingering resentment but you can understand both perspectives so well, and that only makes the fighting more painful. Ugh, Louis being snide and both of them knowing the real problem but not really talking about it face-on until the fight, this is killing me. They're both so angry but then you see how much they need each other and how Louis just wants Harry there, even after that fight, even though he's blaming him, that part really got to me, and you've just hit that place where everything feels wrong in a relationship and they don't know how to go back to before and it's heartbreaking and wow like this fic. This fic. This is seriously everything I've ever wanted omg. And there's something that breaks my heart just about Eleanor tweeting that too, cause lord knows the kind of comments she would have to deal with and how frustrating it would be. And that strikes at what kills me the most about this, how they still couldn't even
( ... )
Thank you!!! Gah, I really appreciate your comments because I spent all this time totally wrapped up in the fic and it was so hard to like, step back and look at it objectively, and I really hoped that everything I was going for came across. And it just seems like you totally get it, everything I was thinking about how they're so angry and frustrated but they really NEED each other. And again, I'm so glad that you understand both perspectives. And the Liam bit was one of my favourite parts to write
( ... )
Ahhhh, wow, yeah, I can only imagine what it must have been like to write this, but that definitely came across really well, you can rest assured. Stories where you can sympathize with both perspectives even when there's such a huge conflict can be difficult to walk the right line with, but I think you did a really good job. And like, what you said in the other comment about hoping people wouldn't find it hard to sympathize with Harry after he pulled the interview stunt, I found that interesting, because I think I actually sympathized with him first and foremost, if that makes sense? As much as I felt how devastated Louis was, and how awful it was that it was all of his hands - and that part really hit me, the part where Harry realizes how angry Louis must feel because time and time again he just has no agency in any of these decisions that are happening - I really felt Harry's frustration as well, maybe because I tend to have a similar mindset as the one he displayed, but his frustration definitely came across and made me ache for
( ... )
I'm really happy about this!! It was one of my main worries, honestly - I felt that I made him more sympathetic as the fic went on but I was just so worried that people wouldn't understand his motives initially, you know? Because the outing bit was from Louis's POV so we couldn't actually see what Harry was thinking, or that he WASN'T really thinking. And I kept thinking, like, is this even in character for Harry? Would he actually DO that to Louis? But in the end it wasn't about doing something to Louis - it was just an impulse, really, it was him reaching breaking point, and I hoped it would come across like that because we do all have a sense of his frustration already. I wanted it to be clear that Louis wasn't even actually on his mind in that moment, because I think if he had been, he wouldn't have done it
( ... )
LIAM! Oh god I knew I loved that boy for a reason. Idc that this isn't even real, it's so wonderfully written that I feel like it could actually happen and daddy direction will always be there for his boys and for that, I applaud you. You wonderful woman.
Thank you so so much! It was actually astreindre's idea to have Liam punch the paparazzo, but I basically fell in love with it because it's so perfect; if he were ever to do anything violent in his life I'm sure it would be as a way to protect his boys. ♥
Ok, so, I thought the first part of this fic was emotional enough for me, but in this part, you took it to a whole other level! Like, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MY FEELS ARE DOING RIGHT NOW!! ;__; The build up to the fight between Harry and Louis was bad enough, but then the actual fight?! KILLED ME. D': I just felt for both of them SO MUCH. And to be honest, I was actually legit scared for a moment that they were going to break up (temporarily, I mean - I didn't think you'd ever have them like break up permanently). I don't think I'd be able to handle it if that happened, though. I barely survived the fight. ;__
( ... )
You know, I didn't even think that it might seem like they were going to break up when I wrote the fight! It never crossed my mind, and then astreindre said it felt like a break-up fight to her and I was like OH GODDD. I mean, I could not have done that, even temporarily, because they needed each other soooo badly throughout all of this, but I'm sure that if the worry was there it would have made everything even more emotional to read. SORRY. XD
( ... )
No, don't apologise! I absolutely LOVE it when a fic turns me into an emotional mess, as strange as that sounds. I just have a thing for angst, I guess. ^^;
Oh, no, I don't think you need to change anything. That wasn't really my intention when I mentioned the whole boxing thing. Because I do actually think him saying he's never punched anyone and all that is such a Liam thing to say for some reason.
Yeah, I definitely don't see Eleanor as "some evil bitch who wants to separate Harry and Louis" as some people in the fandom do. I think you did her justice.
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I just -- ugh. UGH! That he has to repeat to himself that they haven't don anything wrong, because he doesn't believe it, he thinks they did do something wrong even though he knows they didn't, I just. Louis. Let me hug you and bake you cookies, baby. It's okay to be gay. :(
And then I literally cannot just choose a couple lines to flail at for the whole rest of the fic, so let me just FEELS at you about it!
THAT FIGHT. I CAN'T. It feels -- like, okay, I knew they weren't going to break up, because -- duh. But god, it FELT like such a breakup fight, like something no couple could come back from, and it hurt so badly to read. I can't even describe it. I just -- ugh. So painful. And then Liam and Louis going out ( ... )
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Seriously SO GLAD you like the fight, because like I said, I really almost never write them and I was so intimidated by the thought of this one in particular because there were so many complicated emotions and everything was just finally spilling over. I'm kinda glad it seemed like a breakup fight too because that wasn't intentional but I'm sure it just made everything even more emotional, haha.
FEELS
Thank you agaaaaain.
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Oh, no, I don't think you need to change anything. That wasn't really my intention when I mentioned the whole boxing thing. Because I do actually think him saying he's never punched anyone and all that is such a Liam thing to say for some reason.
Yeah, I definitely don't see Eleanor as "some evil bitch who wants to separate Harry and Louis" as some people in the fandom do. I think you did her justice.
And now I'm finally off to read the last part.
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