I just had the strangest dream...
about the Water Park of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It started inside the baptismal font inside the Provo temple. I kid you not, I was doing a baptism for the dead in that room with all the mirrors and the oxen when bam! The temple worker baptizing me hits this button on top of the prompter and the tub I’m in opens up into a water slide! So I’m sliding down this crazy steep and twisty water slide and its kind of giving me a tour of all this church history stuff, like pioneers and prophets and eventually goes back to Nephites and the Lamanite’s time, alright. So the water slide seems to be winding around the Timpanogas temple now, but there’s a lot of nature and shrubbery and men hiding in trees with arrows. But you know, also stained glass windows and lightly colored contemporary furniture. Elderly men and women in white temple garments walking around with tigers and elephants, which I don’t know if thats fitting, since they think native Americans are descendants of the Lamanites (which has totally been proven false) but yeah. Its my dream, it doesn’t have to be historically accurate. Anyway, it eventually comes through that the reason I’m there is to find my cousin because this place I’m in is also secretly a church-operated girl’s home and she has no reason to be there because she has a boyfriend… My brother woke me up, so the last thing I remember happening is jumping off this water slide and hugging my cousin as she sat there crying. This is the most fucked up dream I’ve had in so long. I guess thats what you get when you leave the humidifier on while taking a nap.