This Will be the Last Time Feeling Like This (2/?)
Title: This Will be the Last Time Feeling Like This
Rating: PG-13 overall.
Pairing: Jalex.
Summary: Alex has been keeping something from Jack, and it's getting more and more brutal every day.
Disclaimer: I do not own these boys what so ever. The only thing that is mine is the plot. Title comes from 'The Last Night' by Skillet.
Warning: Self-Harm
Author's Notes: Chapter Two! And now we get into the good stuff...
Dude! I got chapter two done today.
I'm proud of myself. :3
After about a full week of being without Alex, Jack started to feel some withdrawal. There really weren't any signs of this until he felt himself reaching for someone at night and ending up with nothing but a face full of sheet and bedding. It was just the night before where he started crying for the first time since Alex had told him that they could no longer be together. They very rarely talked now, and maybe, Jack thought, it was for the better.
And that was when Jack knew he needed to get things together and check on Alex. He couldn't blatantly ask him however. He had to go the passive route. So the next morning he got Rian and Zack, and the three went out for breakfast at McDonalds. Not classy, but pretty damn cheap. And no one wanted to pay.
"So Alex... he's been sort of distant," Jack finally said. Zack only snorted.
"Distant? Dude. He broke up with you. Damn right he's being distant. He's far gone. He--"
"Shut up," Rian interjected. "Look, he's been weird, we all know that. Do you think something's going wrong with anything back home? His parents are nice people, it's not like they've been thinking of a split... do you think...?"
"Why would you think that?" Zack asked with a raised brow. "That's the least of his worries."
"I think something's bothering him internally," Jack decided. "Look, I mean, I know you guys care. I'm his best friend; we're his best friends. And he's pushing all of us away. Something's up. I wouldn't have asked you to talk about this if it didn't concern you. It concerns your future, too! I mean, what's going to happen to the band if something happens to Alex Gaskarth?"
The other two were now silent, sort of just looking down and picking at their food. Jack sighed and hung his head, rubbing his temples. There was so much to figure out and so little time. Jack wanted to make Alex feel as good as he could as soon as he could. He hated seeing his friend, and the only boy whom he truly loved, in a state such as this.
The walk back had the three taking turns talking until one would say something awkward; the conversation would halt. It was only then when Zack started talking again.
"When does he act the most irritated? When you guys talk, I mean."
"I dunno," Jack mumbled. "I mean, when I mention a hot chick, or say something positive about someone that isn't him, he gets all jealous and defensive."
"I'm thinking he's jealous of someone, dude," Rian pointed out, and Zack nodded.
"No, I don't think so... There's no reason to be jealous. I don't talk to anyone else other than him. I got you guys, and him. That's my life, I mean, I go to the music tech class at the college, but it's a music class. I've never mentioned anyone in that class to Alex, and I don't even associate with them people."
"I don't know, man," Zack mumbled. "If I were you, I'd just talk to him about it--"
"When I try to talk about it he just cusses me out and leaves!" Jack interrupted, angry. "I can’t take it, I need to just... I need to take some time away from him and see what happens. If something happens during that time, then hell, I'll deal with it. But Alex wants his alone time, and I'm okay with that." Zack just rolled his eyes like Jack was crazy.
When the three arrived back at the house it was already lunchtime and Alex made sandwiches, which were set out on the counter. Jack passed them up and walked upstairs into what was now his own bedroom, and closed the door. He went over to his mahogany colored dresser and opened a drawer. Slipping a slick black vee neck over his head and some new skinnies, he hopped back out the door and downstairs where Rian and Zack were kissing.
"Good mother of fuck!" he screamed, looking the other way. "Please, good god, do it in your room!" Rian looked up and only grinned, his arms around Zack's waist. Zack turned red and withdrew the arms that were once laced around his boyfriend's neck.
"You're always interrupting us," Zack mumbled, putting his hands in his pockets.
"Jack, I walked in on you and Alex in bed on tour once. Don't act like this is traumatizing." Rian smirked.
Jack only bit his lip and turned beat red, turning his heels. If only that were still the case-- if only he'd still be sleeping with Alex, he'd damn well let Rian watch every time. "Whatever. I'm going to get a shower."
====
It was about three hours until Jack actually went and got into the bathroom, at least. He had been too busy making everyone dinner, which he actually enjoyed, and too busy watching Cops and playing Halo. He got in the shower around eight after experimenting with his hair in the mirror, (something he did often, just for the sake of something to do) slipping off all of his clothing and getting into the shower. He took a good half-hour long shower before coming out of the tub and looking for a towel.
The boys kept spare towels under the sink. Jack reached in and saw something shine in the glisten of the bathroom lamp. When he reached for it, the small silver blade had a thin line of blood on the edge. And it was fresh.
Jack's stomach did a somersault before the only noise audible in the steamy bathroom was the quiet 'clink' of the razor blade hitting the bathroom tile.