Desdemona's first night in her own room
It's 11:00pm. Desdemona is asleep in her room for the night, for the first time in her life. For the first time since before I was pregnant, so close to 3 years, I'll be falling asleep for the night without any part of me touching my daughter. I miss her. Nick is in the living room, watching her on the monitor and unwinding for the night, unsure of where he's going to sleep. It'll probably be her room or the living room, somewhere close by in case she wakes up and needs him. I never thought I'd be sharing a bed with my baby, let alone for nearly two years, but that's what worked best for us. Now that she's bigger, and more excitable, things are changing. Sharing a bed is costing everyone sleep.(Maybe. We'll see how the alternative goes.) And another baby is due within a few weeks, and he may need to share my bed, and if he does, she can't be there. So it's time to move forward. And it feels a little like a luxurious vacation, to be in this big bed by myself in the quiet of our room. But I don't know how I'm going to like a whole night of not hearing her breathe or knowing if she's restless. And I know tomorrow morning I'm going to miss the moment she opens her eyes and smiles at me like I'm the best present in the world.
We'll just have to see how it goes.
We'll just have to see how it goes.