Pregnancy Blog Weeks 1-4
First, I gotta get this off my chest, maybe not for the first time: The way we start the clock on pregnancy is BANANAS. Medicine defines the beginning of pregnancy as the first day of a woman's last menstrual period. Due date is estimated as 40 weeks after that day. So, when a woman first ovulates, about 2 weeks after the first day of her last period, she is already "2 weeks pregnant." If she conceives, and gets a positive pregnancy test in another 2 weeks when her next period is due, she will already be "4 weeks pregnant," even though conception took place only 2 weeks ago. So pregnancy is 40 weeks, but the actual gestation time from fertilization to delivery is only 38. You get the first two weeks for free, like getting two points on an exam for putting your name at the top. Bananas. Oh, and 40 weeks is not 9 months. I hate every pop culture reference to pregnancy lasting 9 months. If pregnancy was 9 months, and started on January 1st, you'd expect a due date of September 30. But 40 weeks takes you all the way to October 8th, and that last week is a KILLER week that mothers should really get extra credit for. And a large percentage of mothers go on for another week or 2 from there! So if it ever annoys you when a woman refers to her pregnancy in weeks instead of months, check yoself.
Second, what am I doing here? Well, I'm blogging. I'm 4 weeks pregnant today, (or two, if you want to count it in a way that makes sense) and I really want this pregnancy to be different from my last one. I want to be excited for our baby, to relish each gestational milestone and happily anticipate the birth, to share our news with loved ones and record this special time for posterity. Of course, I am terrified that this will not be up to me. The depression of my last pregnancy left its stain and I am afraid it will be back. I am afraid I will be too sick and disheartened to CARE about making this pregnancy different from the last one. But the best defense I can think of is to start BEING different as soon as possible. That meant in weeks 1 and 2, I didn't take my temperature every morning. I winged my ovulation estimate based on a calendar. In week 3, I hoped I was pregnant. I ordered cheap tests online so I could take a slew of them and not spend too much money. In week 4, I started taking a test a day and watched the tests progress from negative to faintly positive. I told my parents the news on the first day I could see a positive line. We're talking with everyone about names. This is not what we did the first time around, when we more or less ignored the fact that I was pregnant for several months and then grudgingly told people who needed to know, all in the shadow of fear that something would go wrong and we'd lose the baby.
Enough context. I'm hoping that future entries in this livejournal-temporarily-hijacked-into-pregnancy-blog will focus on the changes I notice week to week, and my thoughts and feelings about the pregnancy and the baby. So now I'll do that for the first four weeks: Within 2 or 3 days of conception, I had swollen and tender breasts. I also had a big increase in milk supply, which is not something I've found documented, but by 5-7 days after conception milk production (and boob consistency) was back to normal. I've been a little emotional (and chalking it up to other stresses in my life, but hey it could be the zygote). I've had no unpleasant symptoms yet. If memory serves, my nausea and depression didn't start until 6 weeks in last time, so I'm trying to soak up all the positivity (and eat all the full meals) I can before that time hits.
Oh, and I'm assuming that time won't actually hit. I mean I'm TRYING to assume. Because this time is going to be different. Right? Right.