Pregnancy Culture Rant
So I finally seem to be over the indiscriminate misery and resentment of the first half of pregnancy. I don't feel like throwing up 100% of my waking minutes, my interest in my hobbies and passions has reappeared, and I'm even in the mood to plan nursery themes and carefully track symptoms of the fetus's growth.
BUT. This new enthusiasm has lead me to, you know, google things. Like "21 weeks pregnant." And let me tell you, the culture around pregnancy is SO ANNOYING! It's like by becoming pregnant, I unwittingly joined a club where I don't get the humor, feel irritated by the conversation, and get the vague sense that I just don't belong. Here are some things that drive me freaking bananas about this pregnancy culture:
1) (and I can't stress this enough) the ubiquitous fondness for the term "bump." This refers to the ever-increasing mound of midsection housing the unborn. It is the womb, viewed from outside the body. I don't know why the term "bump," which I associate with a small area of swelling, perhaps caused by a mosquito bite or running into the corner of a coffee table, could ever have caught on in this context. I LOATHE it. And it's not just "baby bump," it's "bumpies" for pictures you take of your growth over time, "bumpdates" for blog entries about your pregnancy, and so on. Ugh. Here are some terms I prefer to "bump:" belly, womb, uterus, figure, shape, circumference, mound of midsection.
2) The pervasive tendency to focus on the cute when the scientific is so much more useful. Primary offender: "baby" vs. "fetus." I know (believe me, I know) how fun it is to start thinking about the baby. But really, it is not a baby yet. I'm not trying to start a debate about when exactly human life begins, but I will say that for me personally, this internal resident I'm carrying around is a fetus until after its born. But non-scholarly reading material NEVER uses the word fetus! In one article alone, all of the following terms were used instead: baby, little action figure, tenant, little monkey, snoozer, budding baby burrito, little shrimp, potentially picky eater. I can see some value, especially for pregnant women like me who were pretty miserable about it, in personifying the fetus to increase potential for bonding. But the all-baby no-fetus approach to discussing pregnancy just seems misleading to me. Not to mention, I don't really WANT to saddle the responsibility of caring for a BABY while I can still get away with the relative freedom of carrying a fetus. Oh, and to get back to the general idea of cute vs. scientific, I'd much rather gain an understanding of how the fetus is developing than read about celebrity baby names or infant fashion options. No judgement on those who feel differently, I just wish we science types had as large a presence on the internet.
3) Wink-wink, nudge-nudge type material directed at expecting mothers. "That's right, your baby is sleeping up to 14 hours a day - now if only YOU could get some sleep," ". . . while you've been enjoying fuller breasts, and faster-growing hair and nails!" and so on. It's like someone has judiciously edited out all of the "lol"s that were written after each sentence, but left behind the saccharine, presumptuous tone behind. Shut. THE fuck. Up.
-----------This post was started and abandoned in August/September 2016. It was auto-restored from a draft when I started the next post in February 2017. I thought I'd go ahead and post it, but I didn't have the motivation to finish it.----------------------------
BUT. This new enthusiasm has lead me to, you know, google things. Like "21 weeks pregnant." And let me tell you, the culture around pregnancy is SO ANNOYING! It's like by becoming pregnant, I unwittingly joined a club where I don't get the humor, feel irritated by the conversation, and get the vague sense that I just don't belong. Here are some things that drive me freaking bananas about this pregnancy culture:
1) (and I can't stress this enough) the ubiquitous fondness for the term "bump." This refers to the ever-increasing mound of midsection housing the unborn. It is the womb, viewed from outside the body. I don't know why the term "bump," which I associate with a small area of swelling, perhaps caused by a mosquito bite or running into the corner of a coffee table, could ever have caught on in this context. I LOATHE it. And it's not just "baby bump," it's "bumpies" for pictures you take of your growth over time, "bumpdates" for blog entries about your pregnancy, and so on. Ugh. Here are some terms I prefer to "bump:" belly, womb, uterus, figure, shape, circumference, mound of midsection.
2) The pervasive tendency to focus on the cute when the scientific is so much more useful. Primary offender: "baby" vs. "fetus." I know (believe me, I know) how fun it is to start thinking about the baby. But really, it is not a baby yet. I'm not trying to start a debate about when exactly human life begins, but I will say that for me personally, this internal resident I'm carrying around is a fetus until after its born. But non-scholarly reading material NEVER uses the word fetus! In one article alone, all of the following terms were used instead: baby, little action figure, tenant, little monkey, snoozer, budding baby burrito, little shrimp, potentially picky eater. I can see some value, especially for pregnant women like me who were pretty miserable about it, in personifying the fetus to increase potential for bonding. But the all-baby no-fetus approach to discussing pregnancy just seems misleading to me. Not to mention, I don't really WANT to saddle the responsibility of caring for a BABY while I can still get away with the relative freedom of carrying a fetus. Oh, and to get back to the general idea of cute vs. scientific, I'd much rather gain an understanding of how the fetus is developing than read about celebrity baby names or infant fashion options. No judgement on those who feel differently, I just wish we science types had as large a presence on the internet.
3) Wink-wink, nudge-nudge type material directed at expecting mothers. "That's right, your baby is sleeping up to 14 hours a day - now if only YOU could get some sleep," ". . . while you've been enjoying fuller breasts, and faster-growing hair and nails!" and so on. It's like someone has judiciously edited out all of the "lol"s that were written after each sentence, but left behind the saccharine, presumptuous tone behind. Shut. THE fuck. Up.
-----------This post was started and abandoned in August/September 2016. It was auto-restored from a draft when I started the next post in February 2017. I thought I'd go ahead and post it, but I didn't have the motivation to finish it.----------------------------