I'm not sure why I even did this.

[itsybitsyamelia]

Prom
Do you plan on attending prom?
Yes.

Which proms?
Senior

Why are you going to prom?
It's a tradition.

What is the theme of your prom?
We're cool and don't have one.

Are you part of the prom committee?
No.

What do you look forward to the most at prom?
Dancing.

Comments

[nomadbarnes]

I am glad you like my ears...

[itsybitsyamelia]

Love.

[nomadbarnes]

Love.

You seem less excited about prom than I would expect.

[itsybitsyamelia]

I'm sorry. I'll do better. I promise.

[nomadbarnes]

That is not what I meant. Do you not want to go?

[itsybitsyamelia]

I want to go with you. I know it's important to you and I know I'd regret it if we didn't go. I want to go.

But I don't want to go. There's something wrong with me.

[nomadbarnes]

There is nothing wrong with you.

It's not important to you?

[itsybitsyamelia]

There is, Jake. I don't want to go to prom. I don't want to go to the senior picnic. I don't want to go to graduation! I don't want to do anything. I don't care about anything.

I don't know. It is important to me. But I can't ... I don't know. I want it to feel important not just be important.

[nomadbarnes]

Not wanting to go is a kind of caring, isn't it? It is not that you're neutral.

[itsybitsyamelia]

I guess. It's just so selfish and stupid. I shouldn't be telling you this. You shouldn't have to listen to this. I'm so sorry, Jake. I want to go with you. I promise it's not about you. Or anybody. It's just me. I love you. I'm so sorry.

[nomadbarnes]

I don't know whether or not I should listen or you should tell me, but I know I want to listen and I want you to tell me.

I believe that it's not about me. What is it about?

[itsybitsyamelia]

I don't know. I was okay when I had cheer to focus on. I don't have anything to work toward and everything around me is ... weird. I can't help Lindy or Ben or you or my parents or your parents or Aunt Jess or Dani and when I try I just get in the way. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to act. I feel horrible and I don't want anyone to have to deal with it.

[nomadbarnes]

Then let us create something for you to work towards.

Do I need help? I don't believe I do. But it sounds as though you do, and I want to help you. Can I?

[itsybitsyamelia]

Like what?

Why is it always me who's a mess and needs help? I don't want you to be a mess but I wish I ... what do you get from me? What do I give you?

[nomadbarnes]

A house.

Not always. We have a long life ahead of us. I can promise you I will be a mess. I have thought about the moment our first child is born. I will be a mess, and you will help me. You are strong in ways you don't think.

Love, acceptance, companionship. You are always there for me, even when you think you are not. You will always love me for who I am.

[itsybitsyamelia]

Oh!!! I'd love that. I want to do that!

I will. I will always love you for who you are. I'm so lucky. Thank you. I didn't want to admit any of this, I didn't want to bother you or make you feel badly... But I already feel better.