Atek: A New Kind of Nerd
Just so you know, this story is ENTIRLY fiction. it was inspired by true events, but that does not make it true. the names have been changed. enjoy and tell me what you think though, please.
I waited outside in the car as my friend, Raven, "got ready" for school. She was a known drug user, and I hated that about her. Her grades were good only when she was tweaking, because that was the only time she stayed awake in class. She came out to my car, wearing a jean skirt with a band shirt that I had never heard of. Must be someone she listens to at the clubs, I thought to myself. The beaded bracelets on her arms seem to hide more that just scars now. She wears them higher up, I thought. Maybe she's hiding track marks from injecting some new drug into her poor, beaten body. As I start to drive, she tells me about the guy she not only met, but slept with last night. She told me in confidence that she didn't know if she used a condom though. This isn't the first time she was too high to make sure, sadly enough.
"We'll stop by a store on the way home from school and get you a test…sound good?" I asked her, hiding the disappointment in my voice.
"You're the best!" she told me excitedly, as if she expected me to throw her out of the car. We were going to be late again, but neither of us cared. These car rides were the favorite part of my day, because I get to spend time with my friend before the drugs took hold of her. I loved her when she was sober, and this was about the only time I could get her that way. Every now and then she convinces me to go to a club with her, simply because she needs a sober driver for the ride home. I usually sit at the bar, making conversation with the bar tender.
We continued our drive to school as I merged onto the freeway. The conversation was about not even going to school today, because it would be pointless. She did this everyday, and everyday I make sure she gets to school. Past that, however, I have no control. I usually find out in third period whether or not she found someone to ditch with. This late into the year, it is harder to convince people, because they need to make up bad grades.
As I drove, I drifted off with the music. I thought to myself how it seemed unreal how far I had come in the past 2 years. I, too, used to be lost in drugs and unable to pick myself back up. Back then I used to excel at nothing but quitting early, and failing at damn near everything. How is it that I can now look back, say that I beat it, and move on with my life? This is something I will never be able to figure out. My friend sits in the passenger seat, and I wonder if she is anywhere near rock bottom. I reach over and shake her to make sure she is alright. She jumps awake, startling me.
"I love this song!" she says to try to cover up her current state. She reaches for the radio to turn it up, and then acts surprised and tell me it's not the song she thought it was. She starts telling me that this Friday there is a party at one of her club friend's houses. "There's gonna be a lot of cute guys there. It would be awesome if you came with me. I really want you to be there." She droned on like that while I thought to myself that she really wants to get to home safely. "And maybe afterward, we can have a slumber party, like we did in sophomore year." This comment surprised me.
"Why would you want to do that? Remember, I don't do anything anymore. I'm boring, as you called me last night when I didn't want to go to the club with you." I snapped at her without realizing what was coming out of my mouth. She looked at me shocked, and without missing a beat she told me that she was kidding and it would mean a lot to her if I were to come and spend the night again.
"Fine, I'll come." What am I getting myself into, I thought while biting my lip. She noticed this.
"You really don't have to come, I mean, I know you won't want to do anything, so you would just be bored out of your mind." A smile grew on her face. Amazing how we can be so different yet still be best friends.
"Thank you." I told her. I pulled into a fast food restaurant (one of our morning traditions, even if we are late everyday because of it). We went through the drive through, of course. We both got the usual and were on our way again. Now that we had food, the constant nagging to talk would be gone. I nibbled on my sandwich, not really hungry, but not wanting to put it down either.
"Why don't I ever see you actually eat in the morning anymore?" She asked me.
"I don't know, because I'm never hungry in the morning I guess." She looked skeptical, but shrugged it off anyways. I bit into the sandwich to make her happy, and she laughed. Random conversations started and ended about a sentence later. These were the times I'm glad to have.
All of a sudden she told me that she wanted to go clean and she needed my help. That was her reason for the slumber party idea. Surprised, I told her I was proud of her. Then I told her that it wouldn't be easy, but I'd be there the whole time. Finally, I thought to myself, she hit the bottom.
"Where exactly is the bottom?" I thought as I pulled into my assigned spot at school. "Just how far does this poor girl have to climb before seeing the sunlight again?" Ironically enough a rain cloud started to block the sun.
"Maybe we should get Brianna and Brooke together after school and do some slip and sliding" she said to me while grabbing her stuff from the back seat. "Ok, you get one and I'll get the other, but god knows we can't tell either of them the other is coming cause then they won't show."
"Good point, but what if one or both of them get mad at us for bringing them together and neither will talk to us?"
"Well, I'm willing to take that risk if you are, because seriously, if they are going to get that mad about such stupid shit then they can do that. But neither of us need that kind of stress in our lives at this point."
"I agree with you 100%...but still."
"I know, I'm worried about it too. But we have a half of a month of school before we graduate and then who knows how often we are going to see them. If they want to throw away the years we have spent together at this fucking school for us wanting to slip and slide then that's on them. I think they are both considerate enough to suck it up for one of the last times we can do this though, don't you?"
"Ok Britt," she said, half smiling.
"Look at it this way: they will eventually come to their senses. We all do. One of them is bound to crack soon enough anyways, so we might as well help them along." I said with a devilish grim on my face. A grin she knew meant trouble.
Just then the late bell rang.
"Oh shit, we're actually early for once!" Raven said as we started walking toward the school.
"Wow, we are Amazing." I said giggling as we walked through the side doors to this god forsaken school of ours. We parted ways at the inside of the doors. I went upstairs and she stayed downstairs.
"Off to government" I sighed to myself as I kept walking. As soon as I opened the door, Mr. Cox said, half shocked, "Nice to see you here before the announcements Brittney."
"I can always wait in the hall if you preferred." I said in my usual smart assed tone.
"Just take your seat." He said, not wanting to continue our usual morning banter. The announcements started and finished, and I realized why I always missed them. Mr. Cox began his lecture on electoral policies or something like that, and I started taking notes. Well, I counted them as notes, at least. It was mostly just doodles of what I would rather be doing, with the occasional tidbit taken down. I was jolted from my day dream of my boyfriend by the bell. I quickly got up and went to my favorite class, Composition.
When I got there I gave Ms. Taylor an enthusiastic wave. Today was the day we were presenting our "where I'm from" poems. Well, that was what the rest of the class wrote. I, on the other hand, was not comfortable talking about my past to the whole class, so she altered my assignment to a "what I wish" poem.
As the rest of the class droned on and on with their poems, I struggled to stay awake. Brianna had chosen not to read hers aloud. Finally, when the last person was finished, I arose to read my poem.
I had loved it since I first put it on paper. Ms. Taylor did too, but did not want to pressure me to read it in front of everybody. I chose to anyways. Towards the end I was so nervous I was literally shaking, paper and all. When I was done I looked up at Ms. Taylor's face. Never before had I seen such a look on somebody's face that was directed at me. She looked so proud, and tears started to well up in my eyes. I blinked them away and surveyed the rest of the class as I walked slowly back to my seat. Most had a mixture of shock and bewilderment. Then I looked at Bri. Her looked not only matched Ms. Taylor's, but also took it to a completely new level. . This was the look that made me feel accomplished.
"I did it," I thought, "I actually did it." A smile grew on my face, reaching from ear to ear. Never before had I smiled that big.
The bell rang and it was off to Law Enforcement. I walked with Bri and asked her what she thought. She gave me a tightly squeezed hug and told me that she was amazed. This only added to my ecstasy. We parted ways and I hurried to class. I quickly found Brian, Samantha and Isabella. I told them about last period and the reactions I got. Then I read the poem to them, this time I was much less nervous though. I really didn't get a reaction from Isabella, but Brian and Sam both told me that it was amazing. Class started and soon after that ended. The next couple of classes just seemed to run together. At lunch, I found Raven as fast as I could. Excited to tell her the news, I blurted it all out incoherently when I found her. She laughed and told me to back up and slow it down. When I was finished, she looked extremely satisfied and smiled at me. "I knew you could do it."
After that I found my boyfriend, Johnny, and told him the good news. He was very pleased with me and hugged me. I spent the rest of lunch zoning out in his arms. He told me when the bell rang, and we parted ways after kissing and saying our "I love yous'"
Guidance was my next class, which is where I either gathered my thoughts or slept, whichever was more needed.
Today my thoughts took me away to another place, a simpler place where happiness overwhelmed me. What was it that brought me here again and again? In this place, there was nothing wrong, and nobody had any drama; not with friends, not with family, not from school, not even from boys. No, this place was perfect.
Today my thoughts were of school mostly, but they were filled with the faces Raven, Brooke and Brianna. They truly were the 3 closest friends I had ever had. No, we were more that that, we were sisters. Raven, Brianna and I were all born in May, each just 4 days apart, and Brooke was born in March. Everyone confused Raven and I, both in school and out of school. (It must have been the pale white skin and naturally blond hair, although we both dyed ours so much it was hard to tell.) Neither of us really saw a resemblance, but we went along with it anyways, we even called ourselves twins. She was the one I confided in the most and the one that understood me the best. Sure, I could talk to Bri, but not like I could talk to Raven. With Brooke though, it never really worked. We just seemed to come from two completely different worlds. We talked when we were comfortable with it, but that seemed like it never happened. Raven and I felt like we came from the same place, the same family life, and even the same kind of people we decided to surround ourselves with. I always thought that she would be the one here for me in my current situation. But then again, I'm the one who hasn't given her the chance.
Another thing I always thought was that Raven's mom was like both my parents combined. The similarities with their addictions and abusive behavior (although i was lucky enough to only have the emotional and mental abuse) seemed eerily unreal." The two of us were inseparable through the first two years of high school, and Maria was always with us. She never liked me, but was good and hiding this. She always thought I was trying to steal Raven from her, so she never gave me a chance. I always liked her spunky attitude and her cute, mouse like voice (unless she was upset or excited about something then it was just like an extremely high pitched squirrel.). She was never with us on our drug filled weekends, which was good because that was when all the secrets came spilling out. The summer after freshman year was our summer, we even called it our "super secret summer". Not because it was a secret from everybody else, but because we had become so close by sharing secrets, fears, dreams and ambitions.
I giggled to myself at this thought, because back then everything was a super secret. Raven and I even had our very own "super secret spot" at Atek. We would meet there in the mornings, at lunch, and after school when the day and night before had just been too unbearable for us. Somehow we always knew when to meet there in the morning, even without words being spoken. We were each other's support system, and all we really needed to get through hard times, school, and especially life. It is scary to know that without one person in your life, you wouldn't be here, but at the same time it is wonderful knowing you have somebody so special in your life. Brooke and Brianna were a much needed plus, but our relationship with them didn't keep us alive. Not yet, anyways