Fic: And in Darkness Bind Them Part 5
Title: And in Darkness Bind Them (Part 5)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Lenka Myskova
(OC), Ivanka Myskova (OC), Mrs. Myskova (OC), Peter Pettigrew, Harry Potter, Various Order Members
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/Lenka(OC)
Warnings: Sexual Themes and Issues, Mentions of Violence
Summary: Sirius Black has always been the one to keep going and going, but finally meets someone who makes him pause.
Word Count: 6,200
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Diagon Alley was not particularly busy, as it was a Tuesday morning and everyone was working. The sun beat down on Sirius and Lenka from a cloudless sky as they wandered toward Ollivander’s in silence.
It was the second week after the fire, and if she was to survive outside of the hospital, Lenka would need a new wand.
Her hand felt thinner on Sirius’ arm, holding tightly to his elbow to keep her balance. Her broken foot had been healed, but there was still some lingering pain that caused a limp. Sirius carried her carpet-bag of the old, dirty Muggle clothes that the hospital had given her.
It took little over half an hour to match Lenka with a ten-inch wand of ash, with a core of mermaid’s hair. Sirius paid; Lenka wouldn’t meet his eye, and was extremely red in the face as they left the shop.
“Would you like to stop for some new robes? Or I’ve some Muggle money, if you…”
Lenka’s hand slid from his arm, and Sirius realized too late that he, so absorbed in trying to accommodate her, had been leading her right past the empty lot that used to be her home.
She stood frozen, staring up into the vacant space. It took a moment for Sirius to realize that they were standing almost precisely where they had been on the day they first met. She’d been shielding her eyes from the sun and the breeze, calling in Czech up to her mother to properly hang up the shop’s new sign that she had made herself. God, that had been years ago. Lenka seemed to have shrunk since then, with her hair nearly gone and clothes that were so very ordinary compared to her flowing robes.
“Lenka,” said Sirius, gingerly stepping forward and touching her arm. She jumped as fiercely as though he had brandished a whip at her.
On unsteady feet she began to walk nearer to the piles of ash that were all that remained of the life she once knew, Sirius matching her pace lest she fall.
“Lenka, say something,” he begged. Instead, she sank down among the mess, dully using a long index finger to sift through one of the mounds of ash. With great difficulty, Sirius knelt and put a hand softly on her shoulder. She didn’t flinch away this time. “There’s nothing left, Lenka. Fiendfyre…it destroys everything. Even glass and metal.”
“I know.”
Of course she knew. She went to a school dedicated to the Dark Arts, for Merlin’s sake. She probably also knew that she and her daughter weren’t supposed to be alive. Fiendfyre left no survivors; everyone knew that.
Sirius forced himself to look away and swallow past the lump in his throat when Lenka reached up one hand to wipe at her eyes. When he turned his gaze back she had pulled out her new wand, and was waving it intricately over her open hand, catching the little ornate maroon jar that materialized in the air and scooping up a bit of the ash.
She clutched the pretty little urn to her chest as Sirius helped her to her feet and carefully guided her home.
There was nearly a debate over the sleeping arrangements when they returned to the small house. Sirius was trying to do what any gentleman or James would do by offering his bed, but Lenka would hear none of it. She insisted on kipping on the sofa. Her arguments weren’t very vocal, but her silence made it so much more impacting. However, she did not get her way until Sirius had enchanted the sofa to be the size of a queen bed for his own peace.
Within minutes of him showing her where everything was kept, Lenka climbed into the depths of the sofa, curled up into a ball, and closed her eyes. Sirius couldn’t tell, but he didn’t think she was sleeping.
He turned on the Wireless for a few minutes, but had to turn it hastily off when Lenka’s eyes flew open. It was a newscast reporting that all had been quiet from the Fiendfyre Fiend since the attack in Diagon Alley.
“Do you want me to pick up some food?” he asked to cover up the silence that followed the snap of the Wireless turning off. Lenka shrugged impassively, and Sirius assumed that she wouldn’t eat at all if he didn’t take charge. He stood and left for takeout.
Over the next several days, Sirius finally realized exactly what it meant to have someone depend on him fully. While in the hospital, Lenka had been attentive and even social with the Healers, but after seeing the ashen remains of her home there seemed to be no fight left in her. She ate when offered food, she slept when she was tired, she dressed in the mornings and helped out when asked to, but between those times she sat like an empty shell, staring into the fireplace. She barely spoke unless it was necessary. Sirius was in charge of feeding her (more than takeout every night), and he refused to make her help around the house, therefore doing all the cleaning and washing himself.
It was twice as much housework as he’d done in most of his life, and yet in a way it was rewarding. After a few owls from Andromeda about Ivanka’s progress he had begun clearing out space for a crib or cot to go. ‘Vanka was recovering nicely, though there was no sign of whether the scars would ever fade from her body. She cried all night long for her Mami, though according to Andromeda it was a good thing, because that meant the pain had been treated to the point that she could think of other things.
When Lenka heard of Ivanka’s crying for her, something seemed to snap to attention inside of her. Sirius woke up the morning after he received the letter and found her frying eggs with a dull gleam in her eyes. That same vigorous resilience he had seen in her on the second day he knew her was beginning to return.
Skittishly, as they ate, she mentioned the possibility of going to St. Mungo’s to see Ivanka. So overjoyed was Sirius that she had apparently had some sort of internal breakthrough and was talking again, that he jumped to do whatever she asked. As soon as they had washed and dressed they set off for the hospital together.
It shocked Sirius to leave the house and see that August had nearly passed without him even noticing a moment of it. There was a slightly golden tint to the still-green tree leaves and the promise of an oncoming chill in the light breeze as they walked down the lane to Apparate to London. Lenka still had the smallest of limps, but didn’t need nearly as much help from him on flat walking surfaces.
Ivanka was sitting up on her cot when they were allowed into the ward, and when she set her glassy eyes on her mother she let out a shout of surprise and joy.
Lenka seemed to realize that it had been over a week since she’d seen her daughter on the day she left the hospital, and with a glimmer of tears in her eyes nearly fell into the chair by Ivanka’s side to speak soft Czech to her. As Lenka brushed her downy curls from her eyes, Sirius noticed that Ivanka’s hair had been singed by the heat of the fire like her mum’s; he instantly felt a surge of guilt for chopping off all of Lenka’s in his panic when it probably could have been saved.
They sat quietly for a while on opposite sides of the bed until halfway through the visit they were interrupted by Andromeda backing in the door with a tray of small-cut fruit and cheese. Ivanka squealed like an overexcited piglet and clapped her pudgy hands.
“Oh, I know!” gushed Andry earnestly over her shoulder in the voice one would use to talk to a child or enthusiastic pet. “I’m a little late this morning pumpkin, I’m sorr-” She stopped dead when she saw Sirius and Lenka watching her, the former fighting a laugh.
Heartily blushing and attempting to regain her previous composure, Andromeda strode to Sirius’ side and set up the tray in front of Ivanka. The tot instantly dug in, leaving her right hand dangling by her side.
“She’s really been getting the hang of being a lefty,” praised Andry with all the pride of an aunt surveying a favorite niece. Snapping suddenly back into her Healer mannerism, she turned to Lenka. “How’s your foot?”
“Better,” answered Lenka immediately, not directly meeting the Healer’s eyes.
“She’s still limping,” Sirius interjected, turning red from his own interference, “erm…a bit.”
His cousin’s clever eyes darted between the pair before she tucked her hands carefully into her pockets, speaking slowly. “Well, I can take a look at it if you’d like to have your follow-up exam now rather than later, and I’ll do it myself so we don’t have to fuss with getting your Healer, Zelenka.”
Zelenka? thought Sirius with a wicked grin across the bed at Lenka. She was rather red around the edges, and the corners of her mouth were twitching.
“Now is fine,” she agreed softly, pushing herself to her feet and trying very hard not to look like she was the least bit uncomfortable as she walked carefully to the door with Andromeda. At the last moment the looked over her shoulder at him. “Watch ‘Vanka?”
“Of course.”
And then he was alone with the baby. It was weird. Of course, he had been alone with children before, but none who were unable to be picked up and cuddled without crying in pain. At least Lenka wouldn’t be far away if anything happened. He wondered how the Healers kept an eye on her all the time, to keep her from wandering off and getting into mischief, but then looked down and saw that her right leg was exposed and just as red and burnt as the rest of her. She wouldn’t be doing much running about anytime soon.
“Must be horribly dull,” he said absently, folding his arms on the edge of the cot and resting his head atop them, “being cooped up here without anyone to play with. Does Andry play with you, at least? Eh, baby girl?”
Ivanka, of course, being under a year old and only able to form slightly coherent words that were only necessary to call for her mum, did not answer but continued to sort through her chopped banana, apple, and cheese for a particularly tasty-looking bit. She held out a lumpy bit of cheese to him, twisting her little body to reach across with her left arm.
He swallowed hard and reached for the piece of cheese, smiling bemusedly. “This for me?” he asked. She matter-of-factly placed it in the palm of his hand and went back to the banana. Sirius found himself oddly touched. “Well thanks, pumpkin. I do love cheese, you know. Pity it’s not cheddar, though, that’s my favorite. Ah well, cheese is cheese.”
“You do realize you’re talking to a piece of mold, don’t you?” asked a derisive voice from behind him, and Sirius turned to see one of the other patients in the ward, a sallow, gray-faced man with what appeared to be a small tree growing from his chest, eyeing him warily.
Sirius quickly ate his cheese and then kept his mouth shut for a while, watching Ivanka’s process sorting out her foodstuffs. He quickly concluded that she loved bananas best, liked apples quite a lot, and didn’t have any particularly strong feelings for cheese. In fact, she pawned off most of her cheese on him to enjoy the sweet stuff for herself.
It wasn’t too much longer before Lenka and Andromeda returned, speaking quietly about Ivanka’s progress.
“…and it really depends on how she responds to the next round of potions and salves we treat her with in the next day or two,” concluded Andry as they sat on the other side of the bed. Sirius looked around at the women before assuming that they were discussing when Ivanka would be released from the Healers’ care. “She’s made excellent progress, much more than we could have hoped for so soon after the fact, and I don’t see why she shouldn’t be just as happy and healthy as any other child.”
Although she didn’t say a word, Lenka was visibly relieved, and had to put her head in her hands for a few moments to keep her composure.
“She’s going to be alright, then?” asked Sirius hopefully.
Instantly, Andromeda looked uneasy. Healers were always terrified of promising anything. “We’re doing our best, and hoping for the best in return.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. Typical.
He and Lenka had to go sooner than they would have liked when the man with the tree in his chest suddenly began screaming in agony, large fruits growing into existence on the ends of the branches and roots burrowing further into his body. Healers rushed in, Sirius and Lenka were asked to leave, and their only regret for running from the room was leaving Ivanka behind.
“It’s ‘Vanka’s birthday in a week,” said Lenka as they walked through London for a while. She pulled her hand from his arm and fiddled with the other as she stared at the pavement, twisting her mouth as though she wanted to say more but was fighting against it. She, however, finally caved in. “It’s just…I was hardly conscious for the last one, an’ I suppose I just wan’ed this one to be halfway special.”
Sirius watched an embarrassed blush rise up her neck and face, caught the faintest sparkle of tears in her eyes, and wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders. Her head fell back against his shoulder, and she leaned against him so heavily that for a moment he thought her bad foot was ailing her. He reached across his body and grasped her hand that hung between them, feeling his own sudden wave of grief.
“I know it’s not quite the same,” he started slowly when they stopped in a rather seedy-looking park near worrisomely near his childhood home, “but I’ve been through this…this grief, this guilt. The last conversation I had with my brother was five years ago, when I was 16 and he was 14. It was right after I’d run away from home, and my brother was beginning to hang around with the sort of people who would burn down a Muggleborn’s home.”
Lenka’s still-pink eyes widened slightly as she looked up at him, and he nodded slowly. “Shortly after school started I figured out what sort of crowd he was hanging around with, and tried to talk him out of it. I said ‘Reg, you’re on the wrong side, and if you don’t pull your act together, the next time we meet could be on opposing ends of a wand on a battlefield.’ He turned his back on me, I shouted some nasty curse word I can’t remember at his back, and we never spoke again. Two years later, he was dead, and I had to find out from my uncle because my mother pretended that Regulus was her only child.”
He was met with silence, and when Sirius looked to his right Lenka was shaking her head, looking down at her knees. “This country is so strange,” she softly said, with such emotion that Sirius put his arm around her again. “Nothingk like this ever happens in Czechoslovakia. We heard about this war, of course, but…it didn’t really affect us. I want to go home.”
“Well, we can head back if you…” Sirius started, but then caught himself. He had to swallow hard to keep his voice from cracking. “You mean, go back to Czechoslovakia, don’t you?” She nodded quietly, and his heart plummeted. “Have you any family back there? Friends to stay with?”
Another flush rose up her neck as she shook her head. She didn’t elaborate, and Sirius didn’t ask. “Well, you’ll just have to put up with me, then, won’t you?” he grinned instead, and she admitted a small smile in return. Even her teeth showed, and Sirius’ heart jumped. He wondered what sort of breakthrough she had had in all those days of silent contemplation after leaving St. Mungo’s, but supposed he would never find out. Lenka wasn’t exactly the sort of book that, well, opened. Her cover was inviting and intriguing, but the pages were written in invisible ink. “Should we go home, then?”
She nodded slowly, and rose to her feet with him.
Ivanka ended up being released from St. Mungo’s the day before her first birthday, though her right side, palms, and neck were bound up with special bandages that had to be changed every few hours. Lily and James brought Harry to Sirius’ place while Lenka was off picking Ivanka up, and when she got back they had a little party to celebrate. Ivanka was fast asleep for much of it, exhausted by all the attention and the transition from the hospital to Sirius’ house.
With much coaxing from his mum (who was bearing a camera and snapping another photo every few moments) while Ivanka was still awake, Harry took a conjured flower and brought it over to the other tot. Lily snapped about a million pictures of Ivanka taking it (before she threw it across the room and Harry started howling, of course), and gave one of them, of Lenka smiling from ear to ear as she held Ivanka on her lap with the little white flower, to Sirius for framing. It was the happiest he had seen Lenka in almost a month.
With the baby around to keep her mind occupied, it was much more difficult for Lenka to get lost in her own head. She was always jabbering away in Czech at the little girl, telling her stories, all featuring the same character of “Babička”. Lenka got a dreamy, faraway look in her eyes every time she told one of those stories, and Sirius had a feeling that they were about adventures the young woman used to have with her own mother. It seemed much easier for her to look up at Sirius from across the sitting room and admit a beaming smile when Ivanka was in her arms, gabbing away and pretending her burns did not even exist.
To say that Sirius’ life went back to normal after Lenka and Ivanka were all moved in and settled, that he returned to his old life and ways, was a vast understatement. He had never known a life like this before; so busy and full and yet at the same time so peaceful and happy; so balanced between terrifying responsibilities and little victories; whether he was to face the daunting task of changing Ivanka’s bandages when Lenka caught a bad cold, or was able to walk beside Ivanka around the house when she no longer was in such pain to be carried everywhere; even the mayhem of Hogwarts had not prepared him for such a time in his life. It was the first time he had ever felt like a real adult - no, a father. Even Lenka acknowledged that she felt like she had a proper family with him playing the part of Ivanka’s dad.
Something seemed to shift between him and Lenka on the day she said that. She started chewing on her lower lip and fretting over her short hair more than ever, staying up to all hours of the night worrying over something she wouldn’t say aloud.
When he asked her about it, she passed it off easily, that Lily was worried about some friend of hers getting into trouble, and they were writing to one another about their troubles, and comparing stories of their families to comfort one another in these trying times. Sirius wasn’t sure he believed it, but was expected at the Auror office in two minutes and couldn’t put up much of a fight. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and Ivanka’s before he swept out, leaving a very red and flustered-looking Lenka in his wake.
One day in mid-October, the happy distractions, the awkward stretching silences between himself and Lenka, the sleepy mornings, the hushed, enchanted nights, the dances through the house with Ivanka bouncing in his arms to the Wireless, the long kisses on the cheek or forehead that seemed to last three lifetimes, the wild dreams of life staying in this happy chaotic way forever, came to an end.
James sent him a Patronus without a vocalized message in the middle of the night, and when he saw how the silver stag was trembling he knew there must be trouble, and he set off for the house immediately. He didn’t wake Lenka; she didn’t need more grief or fear on her plate.
The moment he crossed the threshold into Lily and James’ home his best mate in all the world had pulled him into a crushing embrace. It took several second to realize what the wetness on his neck was; never before had he seen James get overly-emotional over anything, and now he was crying and shaking and saying “It’s my boy they want, Padfoot…they’re after my Harry.”
He could have gone blind and wouldn’t have even noticed or cared for the fear and dread he felt. He half-carried James into the sitting room, and found Lily and Dumbledore waiting there. Lily had Harry, fast asleep, gathered in her arms, and was shaking and crying even worse than James, with one hand pressed against her lips and eyes horribly bloodshot.
Peter stumbled in through the fireplace only moments after Sirius arrived, choking and white and barely able to do more than squeak with fright.
“There is a source on the other side,” said Dumbledore brusquely and without preamble or his usual colorful flair, “that has told me of Lord-”
“Professor, please,” moaned Lily into Harry’s hair. “Please…the Taboo…”
It had been realized only days before that the seemingly coincidental links between Order members unafraid of saying the name of Lord Voldemort and their untimely deaths were not really coincidences after all. Anyone all across the countryside who said his name would be found and killed. Dumbledore had been almost forgetful of this fact, and it didn’t help that it seemed he could say it all he wanted and You-Know-Who still would not show up.
However, in light of the apparent circumstances of which Sirius was still not yet aware, Dumbledore nodded courteously. “Of course, Lily. This is, as they say, your party.”
This did not comfort Lily in the slightest; she gave a dry little sob and hugged Harry ever closer.
Dumbledore cleaned his glasses briefly on his robes before taking what appeared to be a bracing, deep breath. “As I said, a reliable source on the other side has informed me of the intentions of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-Despite-The-Obvious-Drawbacks-Of-Being-Unable-To-Say-Such-Name-Aloud. He believes that the only obstacle between himself and total domination of the Wizarding World currently rests in the arms of Mrs. Potter, fast asleep and completely unable to comprehend anything we are talking about. And he will not rest until said obstacle is gone.
“The only way I see to keep You-Know-Who-Really-Ought-To-Be-Named at bay for the present is for the Potters to go into hiding. Immediately.”
Sirius and Peter exchanged thunderstruck looks across the room to one another. James and Lily, in hiding? For as long as either of them could remember, the couple had been fighters. Sure, much of the fighting had been against one another for the first six years, but it was still completely barking to picture them holed up for weeks, even years.
Dumbledore, sensing their diluted focus, cleared his throat before continuing. “The most secure solution is, I believe, the Fidelius Charm.”
“Of course,” agreed James quietly. All signs of previous distress were gone, replaced by a steely resolve to keep his family safe. “Sirius will be Secret-Keeper. No exceptions. No offense, Wormtail,” he added hastily to Peter, who looked less than delighted with Sirius being chosen as the most trustworthy over him. James next strode to Dumbledore and gripped his hand tightly. “We’ll perform the Charm immediately, Professor. Thank you for telling us.”
And just like that, Dumbledore was gone. Everything was happening so fast, it didn’t make any sense. His own trepidations seemed to reflect on his face, for even at that moment James had drawn his wand and reached out his hand for Sirius’.
“What?” he asked, obviously flabbergasted. “You don’t want to be Secret-Keeper?”
Sirius shook himself mentally, and gripped James’ hand. “Of course I do. You know I would do anything for you, Prongs. Don’t be an idiot.” He tried to smile, but knew that it had come out as more of a grimace. He was terrified. He was so frightened that he actually had heartburn that radiated to his ankles. But he knew that this was what had to be done. He had always been the one who would take this position as James’ most trusted friend, his most reliable compatriot, and he was prepared for it. He was honored to take this place.
And yet, he had his doubts. Everyone, young and old, Death Eater and Phoenix, knew that Sirius Black and James Potter were names that were meant to go down right beside one another in the history books. They had been and were meant to always be together, side by side. And they knew that. They knew that if something were to happen with James and Lily, Sirius would be the first one they would trust with their whereabouts.
“…do you, Sirius Black, so swear?”
James had been performing the spell while he had been daydreaming, but he knew what to say regardless. “I, Sirius Black, do so swear to abide by the magical contract binding your secret to me.” A silver ring surrounded their joined hands, and then faded. It was done.
The men embraced again. “Thank you, Sirius,” muttered James into his shoulder. Sirius could only nod past the lump in his throat.
Peter had sunk down onto the sofa beside Lily, looking very pale, but almost slightly relieved as he put out one shaky hand and touched Harry’s head.
“Tell Lenka I’m sorry,” said Lily thickly as Sirius shot down a quick gulp of whiskey before his departure, “and good luck.”
Sirius turned to face her from the door, blinking quizzically, but decided rather quickly that he didn’t want to know. “I’ll tell her, Lily.”
He bent low and embraced Lily and Harry as one, and shook Peter’s hand vigorously, for he knew this was to be one of the last times they would meet for quite a while. Already, he was planning the fastest way to go into hiding without involving more Secret-Keepers, and he was so consumed with whether Lenka would even want to go into hiding with him that he didn’t even notice the cottage sinking out of sight behind him.
The house was still quiet when he crept in, ‘Vanka making the odd dreamy grunt from her cot beside the sofa. Lenka was nothing more than a pile of unmoving blankets, and in order to keep from waking them he took off his shoes inside the door. He snuck barefoot to his room, not bothering with the light, and therefore receiving a nasty shock when he nearly sat on someone.
“Sirius?” whispered the dark lump he was clinging to in order to keep from falling over in his state.
“Lenka? What the hell?” he retorted, frightened to the point of badly-muffled laughter. “Merlin, you’re going to have to peel me off the ceiling in the morning!”
“Oh, I’m sorry!” she breathed, though there was a strong hint of amusement in her voice. “I was worried. I woke up when you left, must have dozed off…everythingk is okay?”
Sirius took a deep breath, and was about to assure her that all was well, but felt the darkness press in on him so firmly that he knew she must be able to tell he was going to lie. So he found what he was almost certain was her shoulder and leaned his forehead against it. Her skin was hot against his clammy brow, and she shivered slightly, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to warm him.
“You’re freezingk.”
“I forgot my cloak here. I was in a hurry.”
“Is there trouble?”
“No. Yes. Well, there is, but we think we’ve got it at bay for now,” he murmured, beginning to shake again at just the thought of how Lily had been crying and James carrying on with such fierce determination written all over his face. Lenka mistook it for the chills and started pulling blankets up and around them both, like a child’s play-fort. Soon they were surrounded by their own warm breath and quite cozy. “Lily and James have had to go into hiding. I can’t say much more there, but Lily said to apologize to you, and to wish you luck?”
He phrased the last as a question, trying to incite her to explain what she needed luck for, but Lenka danced around it easily. “She’s sweet. I’ll miss her,” she said softly, though she didn’t sound particularly sad, as much as nostalgic. He didn’t realize the women had grown so fond of one another in the past weeks.
“They’ll be back before you know it,” Sirius breathed against her. They had never been so close before, not even when they were dancing at Harry’s birthday. “And that means You-Know-Who will be gone for good.”
He received no response other than the weight of her head coming to rest atop his and the hand on his shoulder shaking slightly. He could feel her combined anxiety and cautious hope filling the small protective space of their cavern. He wanted to ask her, couldn’t ask her, and yet a small voice in the back of his head whispered she has the right to choose….
Sirius had to open and close his mouth several times before he could find his voice, and by then he was worried Lenka might have dozed off again. “Lenka.” Her head jerked slightly. “Lenka, there is…an organization, of sorts. A secret one, devoted to stopping He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”
“If it’s secret, how do you know of it?” asked Lenka as though she would rather not know the answer.
“Because I…I’m a part of it. Lily and James, Remus and Peter, and Dumbledore too, he’s the leader. Most of the Order has gone into hiding in the past few weeks, things are getting so bad.”
“Why…you are tellingk me this?” Her voice was trembling.
Sirius thought he was going to be ill. “Be-because I d-don’t want to lose you, and…we need as much support we can get at this point. We’re trying to find the man who killed your mum and tried to kill you and ‘Vanka, Lenka. Your family could have justice.”
“And you want me to join.”
It came like a punch to the gut, the sudden absence of her hand on his shoulder and head on his. He wrapped his arms around her as she did so herself. “I want you to choose.”
Lenka paused for hardly a moment before answering. “No. I won’t risk leaving Ivanka alone.”
“I understand,” said Sirius immediately, relief flooding his chest so rapidly that he nearly crushed the poor woman in his arms. “Thank you.” One of his hands accidentally slipped into her soft hair, and suddenly they were sitting apart from one another and the blankets were on the floor.
It felt cold without the blankets. The only thing visible in the darkness were the two tiny pinpricks of light reflected in Lenka’s eyes as she watched him. It was enough of a target that he could find her cheek in his mind’s eye, her ears, her lips….
Without a moment’s thought he began to lean in, but she couldn’t see and stood up. “I’ll let you sleep,” she whispered, shuffling to the door. “We can talk to-morrow. Goodnight.”
The door snicked shut, crushing Sirius in the silence. He lie awake for a long time, staring up at the ceiling and thinking hard about everything from the light in Lenka’s eyes to the Order.
Who had betrayed them? There had to be a rat in the ranks if Voldemort knew the Potters had a son at all, and reason to believe the toddler could someday be capable of bringing down his empire. It very well could explain the Taboo as well, as many Order members had grown bitter enough in recent months to start calling him by name. Someone had to have been leaking information to Voldemort’s inner circles for years, someone with nothing to lose and everything to gain…
He slept very little, and when he stumbled into the kitchen he noticed that Lenka looked a bit more pale and tired than usual. Ivanka was eating a chopped banana, looking quite content and completely unaware of the adults’ anxiety. He absent-mindedly leaned over and kissed the girl’s head, happy to see her swinging her legs and arms about. Her burns were still bright red, but no longer seemed to hurt her, and they had been giving her a break from the itchy bandages for a few hours every day, with Andromeda’s written permission.
“An owl came,” yawned Lenka as she placed two bowls of porridge on the table. “By the sink.”
Before she could sit, Sirius gently closed his fingers around her wrist and kissed her cheek. “’Morning.” She smiled, pleasantly pink around the ears, and sat down to her breakfast as he opened the roll of parchment.
Sirius,
I’ve been up all night, trying to think of who could have told Him. About Harry Prongs Jame’s’ son. I think I know I’m guessing it could only possibly have been sommeone really desperate, really poor or unemployed. Someone You-Know-Who must have promised a lot to, maybe even a position of power, for all the information about the Potters and the Prewetts. Oh, Padfoot, I don’t want to even think about it! As you must see, my hand is shaking at the thought! But…we really must face the bare facts, no matter how unpleasant they might be.
I hope I haven’t upset you with this. Please don’t be mad.
Please think about it, though.
--Peter
Slowly, thoughtfully, Sirius folded the letter in two. Lenka was watching him out of the corner of her eye. “This is a bit out of the blue, but…what did you think of my friend Remus when you met him at the party?”
“Did I like him, you mean?”
Sirius scratched the back of his neck before shaking his head. “No, I mean…did he seem…alright, to you?”
Lenka furrowed her brow as she slowly chewed a bit of banana nicked from Ivanka’s plate, eyes flickering from his to the pocket in which he had tucked the letter. “He was kind,” she shrugged at last. “Very polite, except when he was drunk. A bit quiet, private, but so am I.”
Yeah, but you’re not a werewolf, Sirius thought grimly, finally sitting down and tucking into his porridge.
After they had done the washing up, Lenka was thinking of taking Ivanka for a walk to see the fall colors, but Sirius stopped them short and firmly closed the curtains.
“Tubby little Death Eater watching the house,” he explained gruffly, quashing down a rush of paranoia as he began to restlessly pace the floors. They couldn’t get into the house, of course, Moody had seen to that, but that didn’t make him feel safe in the slightest. Did the Death Eaters already know he was harboring the Dark Lord’s most sought-after secret?
As the day wore on, he watched Lenka closely. When she thought he wasn’t paying attention, he caught her sneaking longing glances out the window at the beautiful golden treelines. It wasn’t right to keep her and Ivanka cooped up like this, but he couldn’t risk them being cursed the moment they stepped out the front door. He wouldn’t even be able to hiccup without one of them being there to hex his handkerchief. Someone had to be done, a definitive decision had to be made before it was too late and all was lost.
Peter, he wrote hastily that evening. I’ve had an idea. Meet me at the Potters’ on Friday night.
--Sirius
Halloween, 1981, took place on a Saturday.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Lenka Myskova
(OC), Ivanka Myskova (OC), Mrs. Myskova (OC), Peter Pettigrew, Harry Potter, Various Order Members
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/Lenka(OC)
Warnings: Sexual Themes and Issues, Mentions of Violence
Summary: Sirius Black has always been the one to keep going and going, but finally meets someone who makes him pause.
Word Count: 6,200
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Diagon Alley was not particularly busy, as it was a Tuesday morning and everyone was working. The sun beat down on Sirius and Lenka from a cloudless sky as they wandered toward Ollivander’s in silence.
It was the second week after the fire, and if she was to survive outside of the hospital, Lenka would need a new wand.
Her hand felt thinner on Sirius’ arm, holding tightly to his elbow to keep her balance. Her broken foot had been healed, but there was still some lingering pain that caused a limp. Sirius carried her carpet-bag of the old, dirty Muggle clothes that the hospital had given her.
It took little over half an hour to match Lenka with a ten-inch wand of ash, with a core of mermaid’s hair. Sirius paid; Lenka wouldn’t meet his eye, and was extremely red in the face as they left the shop.
“Would you like to stop for some new robes? Or I’ve some Muggle money, if you…”
Lenka’s hand slid from his arm, and Sirius realized too late that he, so absorbed in trying to accommodate her, had been leading her right past the empty lot that used to be her home.
She stood frozen, staring up into the vacant space. It took a moment for Sirius to realize that they were standing almost precisely where they had been on the day they first met. She’d been shielding her eyes from the sun and the breeze, calling in Czech up to her mother to properly hang up the shop’s new sign that she had made herself. God, that had been years ago. Lenka seemed to have shrunk since then, with her hair nearly gone and clothes that were so very ordinary compared to her flowing robes.
“Lenka,” said Sirius, gingerly stepping forward and touching her arm. She jumped as fiercely as though he had brandished a whip at her.
On unsteady feet she began to walk nearer to the piles of ash that were all that remained of the life she once knew, Sirius matching her pace lest she fall.
“Lenka, say something,” he begged. Instead, she sank down among the mess, dully using a long index finger to sift through one of the mounds of ash. With great difficulty, Sirius knelt and put a hand softly on her shoulder. She didn’t flinch away this time. “There’s nothing left, Lenka. Fiendfyre…it destroys everything. Even glass and metal.”
“I know.”
Of course she knew. She went to a school dedicated to the Dark Arts, for Merlin’s sake. She probably also knew that she and her daughter weren’t supposed to be alive. Fiendfyre left no survivors; everyone knew that.
Sirius forced himself to look away and swallow past the lump in his throat when Lenka reached up one hand to wipe at her eyes. When he turned his gaze back she had pulled out her new wand, and was waving it intricately over her open hand, catching the little ornate maroon jar that materialized in the air and scooping up a bit of the ash.
She clutched the pretty little urn to her chest as Sirius helped her to her feet and carefully guided her home.
There was nearly a debate over the sleeping arrangements when they returned to the small house. Sirius was trying to do what any gentleman or James would do by offering his bed, but Lenka would hear none of it. She insisted on kipping on the sofa. Her arguments weren’t very vocal, but her silence made it so much more impacting. However, she did not get her way until Sirius had enchanted the sofa to be the size of a queen bed for his own peace.
Within minutes of him showing her where everything was kept, Lenka climbed into the depths of the sofa, curled up into a ball, and closed her eyes. Sirius couldn’t tell, but he didn’t think she was sleeping.
He turned on the Wireless for a few minutes, but had to turn it hastily off when Lenka’s eyes flew open. It was a newscast reporting that all had been quiet from the Fiendfyre Fiend since the attack in Diagon Alley.
“Do you want me to pick up some food?” he asked to cover up the silence that followed the snap of the Wireless turning off. Lenka shrugged impassively, and Sirius assumed that she wouldn’t eat at all if he didn’t take charge. He stood and left for takeout.
Over the next several days, Sirius finally realized exactly what it meant to have someone depend on him fully. While in the hospital, Lenka had been attentive and even social with the Healers, but after seeing the ashen remains of her home there seemed to be no fight left in her. She ate when offered food, she slept when she was tired, she dressed in the mornings and helped out when asked to, but between those times she sat like an empty shell, staring into the fireplace. She barely spoke unless it was necessary. Sirius was in charge of feeding her (more than takeout every night), and he refused to make her help around the house, therefore doing all the cleaning and washing himself.
It was twice as much housework as he’d done in most of his life, and yet in a way it was rewarding. After a few owls from Andromeda about Ivanka’s progress he had begun clearing out space for a crib or cot to go. ‘Vanka was recovering nicely, though there was no sign of whether the scars would ever fade from her body. She cried all night long for her Mami, though according to Andromeda it was a good thing, because that meant the pain had been treated to the point that she could think of other things.
When Lenka heard of Ivanka’s crying for her, something seemed to snap to attention inside of her. Sirius woke up the morning after he received the letter and found her frying eggs with a dull gleam in her eyes. That same vigorous resilience he had seen in her on the second day he knew her was beginning to return.
Skittishly, as they ate, she mentioned the possibility of going to St. Mungo’s to see Ivanka. So overjoyed was Sirius that she had apparently had some sort of internal breakthrough and was talking again, that he jumped to do whatever she asked. As soon as they had washed and dressed they set off for the hospital together.
It shocked Sirius to leave the house and see that August had nearly passed without him even noticing a moment of it. There was a slightly golden tint to the still-green tree leaves and the promise of an oncoming chill in the light breeze as they walked down the lane to Apparate to London. Lenka still had the smallest of limps, but didn’t need nearly as much help from him on flat walking surfaces.
Ivanka was sitting up on her cot when they were allowed into the ward, and when she set her glassy eyes on her mother she let out a shout of surprise and joy.
Lenka seemed to realize that it had been over a week since she’d seen her daughter on the day she left the hospital, and with a glimmer of tears in her eyes nearly fell into the chair by Ivanka’s side to speak soft Czech to her. As Lenka brushed her downy curls from her eyes, Sirius noticed that Ivanka’s hair had been singed by the heat of the fire like her mum’s; he instantly felt a surge of guilt for chopping off all of Lenka’s in his panic when it probably could have been saved.
They sat quietly for a while on opposite sides of the bed until halfway through the visit they were interrupted by Andromeda backing in the door with a tray of small-cut fruit and cheese. Ivanka squealed like an overexcited piglet and clapped her pudgy hands.
“Oh, I know!” gushed Andry earnestly over her shoulder in the voice one would use to talk to a child or enthusiastic pet. “I’m a little late this morning pumpkin, I’m sorr-” She stopped dead when she saw Sirius and Lenka watching her, the former fighting a laugh.
Heartily blushing and attempting to regain her previous composure, Andromeda strode to Sirius’ side and set up the tray in front of Ivanka. The tot instantly dug in, leaving her right hand dangling by her side.
“She’s really been getting the hang of being a lefty,” praised Andry with all the pride of an aunt surveying a favorite niece. Snapping suddenly back into her Healer mannerism, she turned to Lenka. “How’s your foot?”
“Better,” answered Lenka immediately, not directly meeting the Healer’s eyes.
“She’s still limping,” Sirius interjected, turning red from his own interference, “erm…a bit.”
His cousin’s clever eyes darted between the pair before she tucked her hands carefully into her pockets, speaking slowly. “Well, I can take a look at it if you’d like to have your follow-up exam now rather than later, and I’ll do it myself so we don’t have to fuss with getting your Healer, Zelenka.”
Zelenka? thought Sirius with a wicked grin across the bed at Lenka. She was rather red around the edges, and the corners of her mouth were twitching.
“Now is fine,” she agreed softly, pushing herself to her feet and trying very hard not to look like she was the least bit uncomfortable as she walked carefully to the door with Andromeda. At the last moment the looked over her shoulder at him. “Watch ‘Vanka?”
“Of course.”
And then he was alone with the baby. It was weird. Of course, he had been alone with children before, but none who were unable to be picked up and cuddled without crying in pain. At least Lenka wouldn’t be far away if anything happened. He wondered how the Healers kept an eye on her all the time, to keep her from wandering off and getting into mischief, but then looked down and saw that her right leg was exposed and just as red and burnt as the rest of her. She wouldn’t be doing much running about anytime soon.
“Must be horribly dull,” he said absently, folding his arms on the edge of the cot and resting his head atop them, “being cooped up here without anyone to play with. Does Andry play with you, at least? Eh, baby girl?”
Ivanka, of course, being under a year old and only able to form slightly coherent words that were only necessary to call for her mum, did not answer but continued to sort through her chopped banana, apple, and cheese for a particularly tasty-looking bit. She held out a lumpy bit of cheese to him, twisting her little body to reach across with her left arm.
He swallowed hard and reached for the piece of cheese, smiling bemusedly. “This for me?” he asked. She matter-of-factly placed it in the palm of his hand and went back to the banana. Sirius found himself oddly touched. “Well thanks, pumpkin. I do love cheese, you know. Pity it’s not cheddar, though, that’s my favorite. Ah well, cheese is cheese.”
“You do realize you’re talking to a piece of mold, don’t you?” asked a derisive voice from behind him, and Sirius turned to see one of the other patients in the ward, a sallow, gray-faced man with what appeared to be a small tree growing from his chest, eyeing him warily.
Sirius quickly ate his cheese and then kept his mouth shut for a while, watching Ivanka’s process sorting out her foodstuffs. He quickly concluded that she loved bananas best, liked apples quite a lot, and didn’t have any particularly strong feelings for cheese. In fact, she pawned off most of her cheese on him to enjoy the sweet stuff for herself.
It wasn’t too much longer before Lenka and Andromeda returned, speaking quietly about Ivanka’s progress.
“…and it really depends on how she responds to the next round of potions and salves we treat her with in the next day or two,” concluded Andry as they sat on the other side of the bed. Sirius looked around at the women before assuming that they were discussing when Ivanka would be released from the Healers’ care. “She’s made excellent progress, much more than we could have hoped for so soon after the fact, and I don’t see why she shouldn’t be just as happy and healthy as any other child.”
Although she didn’t say a word, Lenka was visibly relieved, and had to put her head in her hands for a few moments to keep her composure.
“She’s going to be alright, then?” asked Sirius hopefully.
Instantly, Andromeda looked uneasy. Healers were always terrified of promising anything. “We’re doing our best, and hoping for the best in return.”
Sirius rolled his eyes. Typical.
He and Lenka had to go sooner than they would have liked when the man with the tree in his chest suddenly began screaming in agony, large fruits growing into existence on the ends of the branches and roots burrowing further into his body. Healers rushed in, Sirius and Lenka were asked to leave, and their only regret for running from the room was leaving Ivanka behind.
“It’s ‘Vanka’s birthday in a week,” said Lenka as they walked through London for a while. She pulled her hand from his arm and fiddled with the other as she stared at the pavement, twisting her mouth as though she wanted to say more but was fighting against it. She, however, finally caved in. “It’s just…I was hardly conscious for the last one, an’ I suppose I just wan’ed this one to be halfway special.”
Sirius watched an embarrassed blush rise up her neck and face, caught the faintest sparkle of tears in her eyes, and wrapped an arm tightly around her shoulders. Her head fell back against his shoulder, and she leaned against him so heavily that for a moment he thought her bad foot was ailing her. He reached across his body and grasped her hand that hung between them, feeling his own sudden wave of grief.
“I know it’s not quite the same,” he started slowly when they stopped in a rather seedy-looking park near worrisomely near his childhood home, “but I’ve been through this…this grief, this guilt. The last conversation I had with my brother was five years ago, when I was 16 and he was 14. It was right after I’d run away from home, and my brother was beginning to hang around with the sort of people who would burn down a Muggleborn’s home.”
Lenka’s still-pink eyes widened slightly as she looked up at him, and he nodded slowly. “Shortly after school started I figured out what sort of crowd he was hanging around with, and tried to talk him out of it. I said ‘Reg, you’re on the wrong side, and if you don’t pull your act together, the next time we meet could be on opposing ends of a wand on a battlefield.’ He turned his back on me, I shouted some nasty curse word I can’t remember at his back, and we never spoke again. Two years later, he was dead, and I had to find out from my uncle because my mother pretended that Regulus was her only child.”
He was met with silence, and when Sirius looked to his right Lenka was shaking her head, looking down at her knees. “This country is so strange,” she softly said, with such emotion that Sirius put his arm around her again. “Nothingk like this ever happens in Czechoslovakia. We heard about this war, of course, but…it didn’t really affect us. I want to go home.”
“Well, we can head back if you…” Sirius started, but then caught himself. He had to swallow hard to keep his voice from cracking. “You mean, go back to Czechoslovakia, don’t you?” She nodded quietly, and his heart plummeted. “Have you any family back there? Friends to stay with?”
Another flush rose up her neck as she shook her head. She didn’t elaborate, and Sirius didn’t ask. “Well, you’ll just have to put up with me, then, won’t you?” he grinned instead, and she admitted a small smile in return. Even her teeth showed, and Sirius’ heart jumped. He wondered what sort of breakthrough she had had in all those days of silent contemplation after leaving St. Mungo’s, but supposed he would never find out. Lenka wasn’t exactly the sort of book that, well, opened. Her cover was inviting and intriguing, but the pages were written in invisible ink. “Should we go home, then?”
She nodded slowly, and rose to her feet with him.
Ivanka ended up being released from St. Mungo’s the day before her first birthday, though her right side, palms, and neck were bound up with special bandages that had to be changed every few hours. Lily and James brought Harry to Sirius’ place while Lenka was off picking Ivanka up, and when she got back they had a little party to celebrate. Ivanka was fast asleep for much of it, exhausted by all the attention and the transition from the hospital to Sirius’ house.
With much coaxing from his mum (who was bearing a camera and snapping another photo every few moments) while Ivanka was still awake, Harry took a conjured flower and brought it over to the other tot. Lily snapped about a million pictures of Ivanka taking it (before she threw it across the room and Harry started howling, of course), and gave one of them, of Lenka smiling from ear to ear as she held Ivanka on her lap with the little white flower, to Sirius for framing. It was the happiest he had seen Lenka in almost a month.
With the baby around to keep her mind occupied, it was much more difficult for Lenka to get lost in her own head. She was always jabbering away in Czech at the little girl, telling her stories, all featuring the same character of “Babička”. Lenka got a dreamy, faraway look in her eyes every time she told one of those stories, and Sirius had a feeling that they were about adventures the young woman used to have with her own mother. It seemed much easier for her to look up at Sirius from across the sitting room and admit a beaming smile when Ivanka was in her arms, gabbing away and pretending her burns did not even exist.
To say that Sirius’ life went back to normal after Lenka and Ivanka were all moved in and settled, that he returned to his old life and ways, was a vast understatement. He had never known a life like this before; so busy and full and yet at the same time so peaceful and happy; so balanced between terrifying responsibilities and little victories; whether he was to face the daunting task of changing Ivanka’s bandages when Lenka caught a bad cold, or was able to walk beside Ivanka around the house when she no longer was in such pain to be carried everywhere; even the mayhem of Hogwarts had not prepared him for such a time in his life. It was the first time he had ever felt like a real adult - no, a father. Even Lenka acknowledged that she felt like she had a proper family with him playing the part of Ivanka’s dad.
Something seemed to shift between him and Lenka on the day she said that. She started chewing on her lower lip and fretting over her short hair more than ever, staying up to all hours of the night worrying over something she wouldn’t say aloud.
When he asked her about it, she passed it off easily, that Lily was worried about some friend of hers getting into trouble, and they were writing to one another about their troubles, and comparing stories of their families to comfort one another in these trying times. Sirius wasn’t sure he believed it, but was expected at the Auror office in two minutes and couldn’t put up much of a fight. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and Ivanka’s before he swept out, leaving a very red and flustered-looking Lenka in his wake.
One day in mid-October, the happy distractions, the awkward stretching silences between himself and Lenka, the sleepy mornings, the hushed, enchanted nights, the dances through the house with Ivanka bouncing in his arms to the Wireless, the long kisses on the cheek or forehead that seemed to last three lifetimes, the wild dreams of life staying in this happy chaotic way forever, came to an end.
James sent him a Patronus without a vocalized message in the middle of the night, and when he saw how the silver stag was trembling he knew there must be trouble, and he set off for the house immediately. He didn’t wake Lenka; she didn’t need more grief or fear on her plate.
The moment he crossed the threshold into Lily and James’ home his best mate in all the world had pulled him into a crushing embrace. It took several second to realize what the wetness on his neck was; never before had he seen James get overly-emotional over anything, and now he was crying and shaking and saying “It’s my boy they want, Padfoot…they’re after my Harry.”
He could have gone blind and wouldn’t have even noticed or cared for the fear and dread he felt. He half-carried James into the sitting room, and found Lily and Dumbledore waiting there. Lily had Harry, fast asleep, gathered in her arms, and was shaking and crying even worse than James, with one hand pressed against her lips and eyes horribly bloodshot.
Peter stumbled in through the fireplace only moments after Sirius arrived, choking and white and barely able to do more than squeak with fright.
“There is a source on the other side,” said Dumbledore brusquely and without preamble or his usual colorful flair, “that has told me of Lord-”
“Professor, please,” moaned Lily into Harry’s hair. “Please…the Taboo…”
It had been realized only days before that the seemingly coincidental links between Order members unafraid of saying the name of Lord Voldemort and their untimely deaths were not really coincidences after all. Anyone all across the countryside who said his name would be found and killed. Dumbledore had been almost forgetful of this fact, and it didn’t help that it seemed he could say it all he wanted and You-Know-Who still would not show up.
However, in light of the apparent circumstances of which Sirius was still not yet aware, Dumbledore nodded courteously. “Of course, Lily. This is, as they say, your party.”
This did not comfort Lily in the slightest; she gave a dry little sob and hugged Harry ever closer.
Dumbledore cleaned his glasses briefly on his robes before taking what appeared to be a bracing, deep breath. “As I said, a reliable source on the other side has informed me of the intentions of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-Despite-The-Obvious-Drawbacks-Of-Being-Unable-To-Say-Such-Name-Aloud. He believes that the only obstacle between himself and total domination of the Wizarding World currently rests in the arms of Mrs. Potter, fast asleep and completely unable to comprehend anything we are talking about. And he will not rest until said obstacle is gone.
“The only way I see to keep You-Know-Who-Really-Ought-To-Be-Named at bay for the present is for the Potters to go into hiding. Immediately.”
Sirius and Peter exchanged thunderstruck looks across the room to one another. James and Lily, in hiding? For as long as either of them could remember, the couple had been fighters. Sure, much of the fighting had been against one another for the first six years, but it was still completely barking to picture them holed up for weeks, even years.
Dumbledore, sensing their diluted focus, cleared his throat before continuing. “The most secure solution is, I believe, the Fidelius Charm.”
“Of course,” agreed James quietly. All signs of previous distress were gone, replaced by a steely resolve to keep his family safe. “Sirius will be Secret-Keeper. No exceptions. No offense, Wormtail,” he added hastily to Peter, who looked less than delighted with Sirius being chosen as the most trustworthy over him. James next strode to Dumbledore and gripped his hand tightly. “We’ll perform the Charm immediately, Professor. Thank you for telling us.”
And just like that, Dumbledore was gone. Everything was happening so fast, it didn’t make any sense. His own trepidations seemed to reflect on his face, for even at that moment James had drawn his wand and reached out his hand for Sirius’.
“What?” he asked, obviously flabbergasted. “You don’t want to be Secret-Keeper?”
Sirius shook himself mentally, and gripped James’ hand. “Of course I do. You know I would do anything for you, Prongs. Don’t be an idiot.” He tried to smile, but knew that it had come out as more of a grimace. He was terrified. He was so frightened that he actually had heartburn that radiated to his ankles. But he knew that this was what had to be done. He had always been the one who would take this position as James’ most trusted friend, his most reliable compatriot, and he was prepared for it. He was honored to take this place.
And yet, he had his doubts. Everyone, young and old, Death Eater and Phoenix, knew that Sirius Black and James Potter were names that were meant to go down right beside one another in the history books. They had been and were meant to always be together, side by side. And they knew that. They knew that if something were to happen with James and Lily, Sirius would be the first one they would trust with their whereabouts.
“…do you, Sirius Black, so swear?”
James had been performing the spell while he had been daydreaming, but he knew what to say regardless. “I, Sirius Black, do so swear to abide by the magical contract binding your secret to me.” A silver ring surrounded their joined hands, and then faded. It was done.
The men embraced again. “Thank you, Sirius,” muttered James into his shoulder. Sirius could only nod past the lump in his throat.
Peter had sunk down onto the sofa beside Lily, looking very pale, but almost slightly relieved as he put out one shaky hand and touched Harry’s head.
“Tell Lenka I’m sorry,” said Lily thickly as Sirius shot down a quick gulp of whiskey before his departure, “and good luck.”
Sirius turned to face her from the door, blinking quizzically, but decided rather quickly that he didn’t want to know. “I’ll tell her, Lily.”
He bent low and embraced Lily and Harry as one, and shook Peter’s hand vigorously, for he knew this was to be one of the last times they would meet for quite a while. Already, he was planning the fastest way to go into hiding without involving more Secret-Keepers, and he was so consumed with whether Lenka would even want to go into hiding with him that he didn’t even notice the cottage sinking out of sight behind him.
The house was still quiet when he crept in, ‘Vanka making the odd dreamy grunt from her cot beside the sofa. Lenka was nothing more than a pile of unmoving blankets, and in order to keep from waking them he took off his shoes inside the door. He snuck barefoot to his room, not bothering with the light, and therefore receiving a nasty shock when he nearly sat on someone.
“Sirius?” whispered the dark lump he was clinging to in order to keep from falling over in his state.
“Lenka? What the hell?” he retorted, frightened to the point of badly-muffled laughter. “Merlin, you’re going to have to peel me off the ceiling in the morning!”
“Oh, I’m sorry!” she breathed, though there was a strong hint of amusement in her voice. “I was worried. I woke up when you left, must have dozed off…everythingk is okay?”
Sirius took a deep breath, and was about to assure her that all was well, but felt the darkness press in on him so firmly that he knew she must be able to tell he was going to lie. So he found what he was almost certain was her shoulder and leaned his forehead against it. Her skin was hot against his clammy brow, and she shivered slightly, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to warm him.
“You’re freezingk.”
“I forgot my cloak here. I was in a hurry.”
“Is there trouble?”
“No. Yes. Well, there is, but we think we’ve got it at bay for now,” he murmured, beginning to shake again at just the thought of how Lily had been crying and James carrying on with such fierce determination written all over his face. Lenka mistook it for the chills and started pulling blankets up and around them both, like a child’s play-fort. Soon they were surrounded by their own warm breath and quite cozy. “Lily and James have had to go into hiding. I can’t say much more there, but Lily said to apologize to you, and to wish you luck?”
He phrased the last as a question, trying to incite her to explain what she needed luck for, but Lenka danced around it easily. “She’s sweet. I’ll miss her,” she said softly, though she didn’t sound particularly sad, as much as nostalgic. He didn’t realize the women had grown so fond of one another in the past weeks.
“They’ll be back before you know it,” Sirius breathed against her. They had never been so close before, not even when they were dancing at Harry’s birthday. “And that means You-Know-Who will be gone for good.”
He received no response other than the weight of her head coming to rest atop his and the hand on his shoulder shaking slightly. He could feel her combined anxiety and cautious hope filling the small protective space of their cavern. He wanted to ask her, couldn’t ask her, and yet a small voice in the back of his head whispered she has the right to choose….
Sirius had to open and close his mouth several times before he could find his voice, and by then he was worried Lenka might have dozed off again. “Lenka.” Her head jerked slightly. “Lenka, there is…an organization, of sorts. A secret one, devoted to stopping He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”
“If it’s secret, how do you know of it?” asked Lenka as though she would rather not know the answer.
“Because I…I’m a part of it. Lily and James, Remus and Peter, and Dumbledore too, he’s the leader. Most of the Order has gone into hiding in the past few weeks, things are getting so bad.”
“Why…you are tellingk me this?” Her voice was trembling.
Sirius thought he was going to be ill. “Be-because I d-don’t want to lose you, and…we need as much support we can get at this point. We’re trying to find the man who killed your mum and tried to kill you and ‘Vanka, Lenka. Your family could have justice.”
“And you want me to join.”
It came like a punch to the gut, the sudden absence of her hand on his shoulder and head on his. He wrapped his arms around her as she did so herself. “I want you to choose.”
Lenka paused for hardly a moment before answering. “No. I won’t risk leaving Ivanka alone.”
“I understand,” said Sirius immediately, relief flooding his chest so rapidly that he nearly crushed the poor woman in his arms. “Thank you.” One of his hands accidentally slipped into her soft hair, and suddenly they were sitting apart from one another and the blankets were on the floor.
It felt cold without the blankets. The only thing visible in the darkness were the two tiny pinpricks of light reflected in Lenka’s eyes as she watched him. It was enough of a target that he could find her cheek in his mind’s eye, her ears, her lips….
Without a moment’s thought he began to lean in, but she couldn’t see and stood up. “I’ll let you sleep,” she whispered, shuffling to the door. “We can talk to-morrow. Goodnight.”
The door snicked shut, crushing Sirius in the silence. He lie awake for a long time, staring up at the ceiling and thinking hard about everything from the light in Lenka’s eyes to the Order.
Who had betrayed them? There had to be a rat in the ranks if Voldemort knew the Potters had a son at all, and reason to believe the toddler could someday be capable of bringing down his empire. It very well could explain the Taboo as well, as many Order members had grown bitter enough in recent months to start calling him by name. Someone had to have been leaking information to Voldemort’s inner circles for years, someone with nothing to lose and everything to gain…
He slept very little, and when he stumbled into the kitchen he noticed that Lenka looked a bit more pale and tired than usual. Ivanka was eating a chopped banana, looking quite content and completely unaware of the adults’ anxiety. He absent-mindedly leaned over and kissed the girl’s head, happy to see her swinging her legs and arms about. Her burns were still bright red, but no longer seemed to hurt her, and they had been giving her a break from the itchy bandages for a few hours every day, with Andromeda’s written permission.
“An owl came,” yawned Lenka as she placed two bowls of porridge on the table. “By the sink.”
Before she could sit, Sirius gently closed his fingers around her wrist and kissed her cheek. “’Morning.” She smiled, pleasantly pink around the ears, and sat down to her breakfast as he opened the roll of parchment.
Sirius,
I’ve been up all night, trying to think of who could have told Him. About Harry Prongs Jame’s’ son. I think I know I’m guessing it could only possibly have been sommeone really desperate, really poor or unemployed. Someone You-Know-Who must have promised a lot to, maybe even a position of power, for all the information about the Potters and the Prewetts. Oh, Padfoot, I don’t want to even think about it! As you must see, my hand is shaking at the thought! But…we really must face the bare facts, no matter how unpleasant they might be.
I hope I haven’t upset you with this. Please don’t be mad.
Please think about it, though.
--Peter
Slowly, thoughtfully, Sirius folded the letter in two. Lenka was watching him out of the corner of her eye. “This is a bit out of the blue, but…what did you think of my friend Remus when you met him at the party?”
“Did I like him, you mean?”
Sirius scratched the back of his neck before shaking his head. “No, I mean…did he seem…alright, to you?”
Lenka furrowed her brow as she slowly chewed a bit of banana nicked from Ivanka’s plate, eyes flickering from his to the pocket in which he had tucked the letter. “He was kind,” she shrugged at last. “Very polite, except when he was drunk. A bit quiet, private, but so am I.”
Yeah, but you’re not a werewolf, Sirius thought grimly, finally sitting down and tucking into his porridge.
After they had done the washing up, Lenka was thinking of taking Ivanka for a walk to see the fall colors, but Sirius stopped them short and firmly closed the curtains.
“Tubby little Death Eater watching the house,” he explained gruffly, quashing down a rush of paranoia as he began to restlessly pace the floors. They couldn’t get into the house, of course, Moody had seen to that, but that didn’t make him feel safe in the slightest. Did the Death Eaters already know he was harboring the Dark Lord’s most sought-after secret?
As the day wore on, he watched Lenka closely. When she thought he wasn’t paying attention, he caught her sneaking longing glances out the window at the beautiful golden treelines. It wasn’t right to keep her and Ivanka cooped up like this, but he couldn’t risk them being cursed the moment they stepped out the front door. He wouldn’t even be able to hiccup without one of them being there to hex his handkerchief. Someone had to be done, a definitive decision had to be made before it was too late and all was lost.
Peter, he wrote hastily that evening. I’ve had an idea. Meet me at the Potters’ on Friday night.
--Sirius
Halloween, 1981, took place on a Saturday.