Contradictions
They say Christmas eve is for lovers.
Pfft. Right, whoever said that sure isn't in this kind of business. What do people know about what they do, anyway? He rubs his hands together to bring back a bit of warmth. The temporary comfort of his car heater is quickly forgotten as wave after wave of frosty air hit him in the face. He can feel his nose turning to ice. Winters in the city suck; it’s fucking cold and there isn't even snow to show for it. No white winter, yet, if ever there will even be one this year. It's just drab gray and dull white all around, more accentuated by clean and straight architectural designs of the high rises.
His heavy boots trudge on as he walks from the parking lot to the studio. It's unusually eerie, not having people buzzing about on a usually busy street, just the occasional car wheezing by. He tucks his hands into his pockets and sighs in relief as the entrance to the heater-warmed lobby of the television broadcasting company comes into view.
Koki and Junno are already in the dressing room when he arrives. They both seem to be in a good mood today chatting happily with each other, must have had a great lay on Christmas eve. Junno has Reina, and Koki has 10 other girls on speed dial; him, he has filming the next day, so he slept at around 10 o'clock again. He vaguely remembers waking up at dawn and reading the text messages on his phone, all bidding him a wonderful Christmas, all from family and friends. He should wish those people the same, too, he thought about doing so at dawn but he was too sleepy and went back to sleep. He was busy all morning, too.
"Kame-chan! Merry Christmas!" Koki cheerfully greets him when he comes into view. Junno echoes Koki, but with an even brighter grin. He nods at them both and says the greeting back with a small but sincere smile. He's been saying that to everyone he has met since the morning.
"How was filming?" Koki is always there to chat him up and make him feel at ease.
"Oh, it went well, everyone's great," on a few very rare times he finds it hard to keep up a conversation. He unfurls the scarf around his neck and steps out of his heavy coat, folding it over an easy chair.
Ueda arrives then, also clad in full winter gear from head to toe. He takes off his fluffy white hat and nods at all of them, muttering a Merry Christmas to all of them. Once he's out of cozy sweaters and meter-long scarves he saunters out to God-knows-where. Nobody ever knows where Ueda disappears to, or whatever the hell he's up to, for that matter.
Kame spares a glance at the usually occupied couch. The usual huddled figure catching a catnap is suspiciously absent. He'll probably arrive soon; it's still a bit early, anyway. He's been busy lately, too, might've gotten caught up in some other appointment or something.
"Jin went to get coffee," Koki catches him before he can avert his gaze. He wants to strangle Koki and wipe that knowing smirk off his face.
Instead he snorts, "I didn't ask."
"I know you didn't," then Koki turns to Junno and says, "You gotta show me that game you're talking about."
"Sure. You should come to my place sometime. I think I have a few stuff I can let you borrow," Junno thinks it over deeply enough. He's not one to part with his beloved toys. Kame listens in on their conversation, but it's mostly about games. He likes to play them when he has time, but having his schedule, he's not really that updated on the recent stuff; he hasn't even finished any game he's started playing. Koki and Junno talking animatedly to each other makes him smile a little though. It's good seeing them getting along so well.
Sitting around together like this is nice and all but not being able to contribute anything to the conversation makes Kame a little uncomfortable and fidgety so he gets up and heads for the door, figures he could go find something to keep him occupied until the make-up artists and other backstage people get to them and tell them what to do.
As he's about to head out Koki calls his name, "Kame, he's at the café downstairs," then winks and starts snickering.
Junno, as always misses the subtle hints. He looks at both of them expressionlessly until it hits him, "Oh, you mean Jin, right?"
Koki stops giggling and sighs deeply.
Kame rolls his eyes at them. It's not like he's going to look for Jin. Nonetheless, he presses the ground floor button as soon as he enters the elevator.
There's handful of people scattered around the café; some reading books, probably waiting for the event to start, some with colleagues chatting about workplace gossip on their coffee break, others just spacing out and killing some time. There's tree in the middle of the cafe, decorated with all the trimmings and matching decorative presents under it. Kame remembers he missed putting up a tree again this year. It'd probably be nice to looks at, something festive and colorful, just a little something to remind him of the Christmas eves spent eating cake and opening presents that he used to have. These days it doesn't seem worth the effort when he can only spend a few hours at home.
He cranes his neck to look behind the tree through the glass windows. No sign of the person he's looking for. He must've missed Jin. It wouldn't be that strange. It's not like Jin would stay there for hours waiting for coffee. He's probably back in the dressing room already. When nowhere else seem interesting to go to, Kame decides to come back up as well.
He takes the elevator with a few other people who, he guesses, must be working on the venue or some other technical department. He doesn't recognize anyone though he can feel some of them peeping at him from the corner of their eyes. He's gotten used to those veiled stares. Thankfully, they all get out one floor before him so he's all alone when the elevator finally arrives to his floor.
He walks out to an equally deserted hallway. Well, almost deserted hallway.
Right there, before the door leading to another hallway of doors to the dressing rooms (one of which is theirs) stands Akanishi Jin, both arms cradling half a dozen coffee cups and frowning vehemently at the door knob.
"Um, Jin?"
Jin looks up at the mention of his name and immediately sags in relief when he sees Kame, "Oh thank God you came. I've been waiting for hours for somebody to come out and open the goddamn door."
Jin grins at him, and Kame knows it's genuine because his eyes sparkle like he's all awake and really glad to see Kame. It makes Kame wish Jin really is glad to see him and not just because he's there to open the door. Kame takes the other three cups Jin is holding which makes Jin all the more relieved as the go on and head to their dressing room.
"I really should've dragged Junno down with me to get this, t'would've been easier to make him carry all these around. Wouldn't have gotten stuck with my hands full staring a freakin' door, too."
"You could've just shouted for help, you're noisy enough for anyone to hear you."
"Hah! You know I'm trying to lose the B Yamashita attaches to my name, right?"
Kame snorts at that. Bakanishi.
Sometimes it makes Kame wonder if Jin's too cool for their little boyband. If Jin thinks he's the very image of an idol, for him Jin would make a perfect rock star. When he sees that indifferent attitude, that lovely pout, he wonders if Jin even likes what they do. His lovely smile, which used to be so easy to spot, is now only reserved for the most private of moments with the closest of friends. It makes Kame happy to see that in the unguarded moments like this one, the real Jin comes out.
They stop in front of their dressing room, and realize that now, both of their hands are occupied and there's no one else to open the door.
They burst out laughing.
That's how Nakamaru finds them when he opens the door to check what the ruckus is all about. Everyone is in already inside and expecting the crew to arrive at any time.
"Jeez, I thought there was a fire or something,"
"See, Jin, I told you'd be loud enough,"
Jin just sticks his tongue out at Kame and goes on to make fun at how Maru's the last to arrive again and with hat hair at that.
"You can't know that! You weren't here!" Maru desperately tries to defend himself.
"Koki and Junno were already here and Kame was with me and Ueda never comes last so ha! You lose, again!"
Kame is a little jealous of the attention Maru always gets from Jin, but he can't blame Maru. Maru is so easy to get along with.
"Oh, so you were together doing something that would make Jin loud enough for people to hear, eh?" Koki can't help goading Kame. Kame always gets all flustered and shy about it, especially when it's about Jin. He wouldn't really admit it but he's got an eensy weensy bit of a crush on Kame. He loves it when they do fanservice and Jin tenses up. Those two are just too obvious really.
Kame glares at him and Koki backs off, albeit amused with the expected reaction. Jin is smirking when Kame looks at him though, and everyone else is just trying to ignore the moment and make things less awkward.
Kame sighs in relief when the make-up artists and hairstylists chose that particular time to make an appearance and everyone goes into work mode. For the next few hours it will all be about the performance and real life issues will have to take a backseat.
"Hey, you guys free tonight? I want Yakiniku!" Koki whines no one in particular, so they can all assume it's directed to all of them. The performance was one of their better ones, it's not the best, but it wasn't that bad, either.
They're quite happy with it; by their standards, it's a good day at the office. Koki's enthusiasm about it is apparently overwhelming enough to demand an after party.
"Oh, I'll go!" Junno, as hyper as ever, bites first.
"Yeah, I'm fine with that," Nakamaru calmly accepts the offer as well.
Koki says expectantly to Kame, "Ne, Kame-chan, you don't have work after this, so you?"
Kame looks at the three eager faces right in front of his face, "Um...Sure, I'll go," and he gives them the little smile as they rejoice.
"I'll go, too, then," Jin abruptly adds as soon as Kame agrees, which makes the other three whoop in joy and Kame look at him weirdly. Again, Jin just smirks at him.
All of them turn to Ueda, who is sitting in a chair reading a magazine, completely oblivious to all the planning and celebrating and what not. He looks up from the magazine when everything goes silent, and nonchalantly replies, "Sure. whatever."
They're all be having dinner together then.
They get to the restaurant on their own, planning to meet up at the place. Koki gets on his bike while Maru and Junno hitch a ride with Ueda. Kame doesn't expect Jin to just casually come over and get in the moment Kame deactivates the lock.
"What are you waiting for, I'm starving!" Jin motions to him to get on as well.
Kame can't think of what to do but just give in and drive with Jin sitting beside him.
"Don't you have your own car?"
"Manager-san picked me up today."
"Figures why you're so early."
Jin snorts at that, "Why are you suddenly so snitty with me?" then his voice trails out as he looks out at the passing urban scenery, "Don't you want me to be here?"
Kame draws a deep breath and releases it in a heavy sigh. Him and Jin; it's just so complicated. He wishes they could just be together like normal people could and go on dates and be together on Christmas eve, but then it's he knows it's not what he wants for both of them, either. There are so many things they can both be capable of achieving and jeopardizing their and their band mates chances of reaching for whatever heights they can reach will be much worse than just ignoring the dull ache in his chest every time a tabloid comes out with pictures of Jin partying with girls he sometimes goes out with. Or so Kame thinks. He knows he shouldn't be feeling bad about it, he agreed to it, too. But then there will be times, just like this, when Jin would reach out to him and one thing would lead to another, and before he can trace the events leading to it, he'd already be waking up next to Jin and kissing him and making him breakfast and not feeling guilty about what they've done that they shouldn't have. He wishes for more mornings (and nights) like those, but he knows he can't have those everyday. He's not entitled to demand for those, so he'll take whatever it is that's given to him.
"No, Jin, it's not like that, but you know when people start to talk..."
"Hmm, I think Koki knows," Jin feels like freaking Kame out just a bit. Just a little something for always driving him insane with overanalyzing the situation and making him feel unwanted sometimes. He knows Kame's not doing deliberately and for that purpose, but he just wishes that at times, Kame would stop trying to be so damn perfect and let himself be happy.
"Koki does not know. He thinks he knows something's going on but really, really got no idea," Kame freaks.
"But something is going on..." Jin doesn't really look at Kame when he says this. He just looks absorbed in staring out the window.
"I didn't say something isn't."
Kame's right hand leaves the wheel shift gears, but even after he has done so, his hand lingers where it is. After a single moment it travels up to squeeze Jin's left hand. Jin rests his other elbow against the window frame and cradles his face with his free hand. He looks at Kame, but Kame is concentrating on the road ahead. His eyes gaze lowers to their entwined hands. Jin contemplates for a while. He squeezes back Kame's hand just in time before Kame has to retract his hand and grab the clutch again. They don't say anything until they reach the restaurant. Jin returns to looking back out the window, but now the hand that he's laying his head against is trying to conceal a genuinely pleased grin.
"You know most people have this day off, right?" Koki ruefully muses his missed holiday.
"Yeah, it's a holiday in a lot places," Jin adds, "Not here, though."
"Maaa. Would love to try not working on this day," They all look at Maru who said this.
Fittingly Kame reminds him, "You didn't have to work on this day last year."
"Oh yeah, that's right," and Maru shyly laughs.
"I'm gonna go pee, 'kay?"
"Geez, Akanishi! Too much information!" Ueda might be revolted with the statement but everyone else is just bursting out laughing.
When Jin comes they're ready to leave and already have their wallets out and ready.
"Um..." Jin starts shyly, "I already took care of the tab."
"Uwaaah! Jin's so cool!" seems to be the catchphrase of the evening and Kame can't help but hide a smile to himself.
They all wish each other a Merry Christmas before they arm themselves against the weather and head on out. Kame says he'll stay for a bit to use the bathroom facilities and tells everyone to just go ahead of him. He's guesses Jin will get a cab or go with Ueda. Jin didn't say anything about meeting up or waiting for him. Maybe he has to meet up with some friends and go to a club or some other place. Kame just shrugs it off. He's used to times like these, anyway. So he truly is shocked when he steps out of the restaurant and is greeted with a loud "boo!".
"What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for my ride," the way Jin is pointing at him makes it obvious just who exactly Jin's ride is. "And yes, I did go walk a block or two so Koki wouldn't freak about us leaving together, there, you don't have to panic now," then Jin smiles smugly like he's so pleased with the way he thought things through.
Kame lets him have his moment and leads him to the car.
Once they're inside Kame asks him where wants to be dropped, but Jin just looks out down at his hands. Kame knows he's going to take Jin home with him then.
Kame hisses when Jin bites hard on his lower lip. He pushes Jin off to gauge the damage, bringing a finger to where he feels the sting the most. There's no blood his fingertips and he feels just a bit relieved. Jin is crouching above him, puffs of warm air escaping from his parted lips like he finds it difficult to breathe.
"You okay?" the concern is obvious from Jin's voice, and Kame just wants to assure him. Jin's long brown locks fall over his bare shoulders, the shirt he was wearing has long been discarded. His lips are full and red, evidence enough of how they've been ravishing each other the moment they stepped inside the apartment. Kame can see the passion in those dark brown irises. Too close. Somewhere in the back of his mind he chides himself for indulging in this closeness. He knows it would have come to this the moment he let Jin in his car, and he knows he should at least put up some resistance, but he wants this too much to care and think and stop.
He doesn't bother replying to Jin's question, just pulls him back down harshly and continues the kiss that is all lips and tongue and teeth. Jin is more than appeased with his response and starts unbuttoning his shirt, caressing every bit of skin that becomes exposed. Soon enough, they're both bare from the waist up and burning where heated flesh meets heated flesh.
Kame arches up to grind his hard on against Jin's, sensing Jin's own arousal. Jin moans against the sudden stimulation and grinds back, making Kame react in the same way with a guttural moan. There seem to be a lot of fabric between them all of a sudden and they can't wait to get rid of all the layers and feel each other. Kame fumbles with Jin's belt as Jin does with his. He lifts his when Jin yanks his jeans down and frees his aching erection. Jin teases him by ignoring the distended cock. He whines in protest, particularly when Jin gets off him and the bed, and fumbles in the side drawer. He can feel the cold where Jin's body was; they've forgotten to turn on the heat when they arrived. His toes feel comfortably warm, though; Jin hasn't taken of his socks. He can't be bothered to do that for himself now, his cock is screaming at him to touch it and he's too lazy to argue so he does.
That's how Jin finds him when he comes back with "their stash" in hand. Their stash, of course is just a kit filled with condoms and lube. They have each have one in their bedside drawers and Kame likes to think that Jin only uses his for Kame. Jin looks down at him lying supine on the bed, mouth parted and eyes closed, pleasuring himself with with a firm grip on his cock. Jin pushes the heel of his hand into his hard on, feeling it begging to be touched by Kame as well. Jin gets rid of both his pants and boxers in one go and climbs up the bed and over Kame once again.
Feeling Jin back where he should be, he opens his eyes and stops what it is that his hand is doing. He pulls Jin down to trail kisses down his neck. Jin pulls him closer and grinds their hips against each other, bringing their moist heat together. They both moan at the sensation. It's much better without clothes. When Kame arches up and thrashes his head to the side as Jin fucks against his cock, faster and harder, and all of a sudden Jin stops.
Jin's resting on his haunches when he looks at him, cock pointing upwards and hands poised to open a condom packet.
Kame rises up to rest on his elbows, and smirks at Jin, "So soon already?"
"Wanna play a little more?" Jin smirks back.
"I don't mind," and he pauses, "You can fuck me first."
Jin snorts but not out of humor, he's just so turned on right now, he can't figure out how to express it. His voice comes out all breathy and husky, "Don't come, though."
Jin strokes himself as he watches Kame spread his legs and gets himself ready. He rolls on the condom and sees Kame use a hell of a lot of lube. He's kinda glad there's a lot left, at least it's enough for both of them.
He leans forward when Kame gets ready and Kame welcomes him, looking at him with straight into his eyes when he pushes in, never flinching. Once all of him is inside, Kame just lies back down on his back and moves his hips up, like telling him it's alright to make a move. Kame has to do it a couple of times until Jin's confident enough to move. It's not that Jin doesn't want to, it's just seeing Kame like this mesmerizes him like Kame wants him as much as he wants Kame.
Kame feels a sense of fulfillment with Jin inside him. It's the only time when he feels everything of Jin is his. He knows it's shallow and physical, but he'll take it. Jin moving inside him makes him feel alive, just so full of life that he doesn't mind the initial pain and discomfort, just wants to get past it and move on towards the pleasure. It takes him a lot of effort not to come, like Jin told him to, especially when Jin puts a hand to his cock and starts jerking him off to the rhythm of his thrusts.
"J-J-Jin... don't... I'm gonna come."
Jin stops then, shifts so that he's resting on his haunches again bringing Kame's hips up with him so they don't lose contact. The position is a bit weird, and moving with Jin inside him makes Kame moan out loud at the shift of angles. Nonetheless, he lets Jin drag him around. It isn't clear what Jin has in mind until he rips open another condom packet with his teeth and rolls it onto Kame's arousal right in front of him. Kame can't keep from thrusting up at the friction and gripping the sheets in frustration since Jin immediately rubs on some lube once the condom is on.
The slow pull out comes next, and Kame can feel the burn Jin leaves behind. But then all of Jin is gone and he wills the feeling back into his legs enough to move. He puts a pillow under Jin's lower back, just to make the angle a little easier. He makes sure to grab the lube, too. He doesn't have the time or opportunity to get Jin ready when Jin's whining for him already. One of the things he likes about fucking Jin is that Jin makes all these sexy sounds, and he just can't resist when those sounds are commanding him to hurry up. Jin has gotten him good and slick already, but he still squeezes on lot of the lube when he slowly pushes into Jin.
Jin's moans are getting louder already, just with him fully inside. Kame knows it won't take that much for Jin to come, just a hit in that spot. It's not like he isn't near either, it's taking all of his concentration and effort just to try to keep from coming, especially after Jin has already sent him halfway up the peak and more so with Jin's warm, tight walls enveloping him. He knows Jin wants it this way, wants Kame inside him when he comes. Kame has never asked why though it has always made him think about it. While he's still mustering the effort and precision to move, he takes the condom off Jin's cock, spits on his hand, and rubs Jin's cock with it. Jin whimpers and buckles, precum flowing from his stimulated organ. Kame kisses him as he starts the thrusts that would send them to their orgasm.
With Kame sucking on his tongue, stretching him with every thrust, encircling his cock firmly as his hips rise and fall, and hitting his sweet spot intermittently, Jin comes first. Jin screams when he comes, and it's more his voice that drives Kame over the edge than the tight walls spasming around him. They both freeze as milky white fluid shoots out from both of their cocks and they groan as the tension ebbs away.
Kame rolls off Jin, thinking to search for tissues to clean Jin up with, but as soon as he does so, he all of a sudden feels very tired and contented, and he ends up being a pile of boneless limbs lying all over Jin, too lazy to get up. Jin just laughs softly at him, and turns to him and gives him a little peck on the lips. He smiles dreamily at Jin, and Jin is grinning at him, and that's all he remembers because then his lids start feeling heavy and he can't be bothered to open them anymore.
He's not sure how long he's been asleep when he wakes up, but Kame assumes it hasn't been that long. They both fell asleep with their heads on the foot of the bed and all the comfy pillows are on their feet; well, except for one that Jin has rolled off of. They're entangled together, and he has to move very carefully so he doesn't wake Jin up. The sweat on their bodies has long since evaporated and it's starting to get a little chilly. He heads off to the drawers to get a blanket, seeing as Jin is conveniently lying over the sheets. Jin's gonna get cold soon, too, and Kame chuckles a bit as he notes that Jin forgot to take off his own socks, as well. It's a quarter to midnight, his bedside alarm, says. He has a few more minutes left of today so he hurriedly fishes for his phone on the way back. He gets into the bed and covers the both of them with a heavy quilt.
There are some new messages that came in since the evening, but he puts them back for a while, nothing too important. He goes back to all the greetings that have been sent to him the night before, and starts replying to each one of them. He finally gets to say Merry Christmas to his family.
He's into a few messages when Jin stirs beside him.
"Hmmm, comfy," Jin hums, and peers up at Kame who's sitting up in bed.
Kame manages to ruffle his hair before he's pulled back down with Jin hugging him from behind.
"What are you doing," Jin lays his head over his shoulder and watches as Kame replies to his mail.
"Replying to everyone who wished me a Merry Chirstmas last night."
"Hmmm," Jin breathes in his sent and watches as Kame sends a few more greetings, "You should've done that last night."
"I wasn't in the mood."
"Aww, but Christmas should be fun and happy and all full of cheer."
"Right, I know, happy happy lord, right?"
Jin just stares at him like telling him that it's not funny.
"You were out?" Jin's curiousity gets the better of him.
"No, I just slept early."
"Why didn't you call me to come over?"
"Figured you'd be out celebrating or something," Kame's too timid to ask invasive questions such as what he was doing and who he was with. Because there's no real label as to what they are, he doesn't really know until where his boundaries are. He doesn't want to make feel Jin suffocated or something like that.
Jin's a little hurt that Kame always assumes Jin puts partying before him. It's not like that.
"I was home eating cake... waiting for you to say it's alright," the words come quietly, a bit cautiously, and a lot more serious despite the first few words.
Kame doesn't say anything, too afraid he'll say the wrong words. He asks himself why he hasn't taken the chance on Jin yet. After a bit of a silence, he finally manages to say, "I wasn't expecting you to be."
Jin sighs resignedly, holding on to Kame a bit tighter, "I don't know why, Kazu, but you know how I feel. I don't say it because you don't want me to say it, but you know, right? I know you know. So next year, I won't even wait for it anymore, I'm just gonna come right over, whether you want me to or not," he says it so much conviction like he's not going take no for an answer.
Hearing all of it makes Kame surprisingly gratified and so, so happy. He starts feeling giddy, but he stops himself. He's not a school girl to swoon over something like this. He looks at Jin with a pleased smile and quips, "It sure would be nice to share that cake with you."
They lean in for a sweet, little kiss. Nothing hurried or sexual but something deep and full of emotions.
When Kame gets back to replying to his messages, he notes it's already past midnight, and says so out loud.
Jin chuckles and grins impishly, "Merry December 26!"
--End--
----------------------------------------
P.S. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :D
Pfft. Right, whoever said that sure isn't in this kind of business. What do people know about what they do, anyway? He rubs his hands together to bring back a bit of warmth. The temporary comfort of his car heater is quickly forgotten as wave after wave of frosty air hit him in the face. He can feel his nose turning to ice. Winters in the city suck; it’s fucking cold and there isn't even snow to show for it. No white winter, yet, if ever there will even be one this year. It's just drab gray and dull white all around, more accentuated by clean and straight architectural designs of the high rises.
His heavy boots trudge on as he walks from the parking lot to the studio. It's unusually eerie, not having people buzzing about on a usually busy street, just the occasional car wheezing by. He tucks his hands into his pockets and sighs in relief as the entrance to the heater-warmed lobby of the television broadcasting company comes into view.
Koki and Junno are already in the dressing room when he arrives. They both seem to be in a good mood today chatting happily with each other, must have had a great lay on Christmas eve. Junno has Reina, and Koki has 10 other girls on speed dial; him, he has filming the next day, so he slept at around 10 o'clock again. He vaguely remembers waking up at dawn and reading the text messages on his phone, all bidding him a wonderful Christmas, all from family and friends. He should wish those people the same, too, he thought about doing so at dawn but he was too sleepy and went back to sleep. He was busy all morning, too.
"Kame-chan! Merry Christmas!" Koki cheerfully greets him when he comes into view. Junno echoes Koki, but with an even brighter grin. He nods at them both and says the greeting back with a small but sincere smile. He's been saying that to everyone he has met since the morning.
"How was filming?" Koki is always there to chat him up and make him feel at ease.
"Oh, it went well, everyone's great," on a few very rare times he finds it hard to keep up a conversation. He unfurls the scarf around his neck and steps out of his heavy coat, folding it over an easy chair.
Ueda arrives then, also clad in full winter gear from head to toe. He takes off his fluffy white hat and nods at all of them, muttering a Merry Christmas to all of them. Once he's out of cozy sweaters and meter-long scarves he saunters out to God-knows-where. Nobody ever knows where Ueda disappears to, or whatever the hell he's up to, for that matter.
Kame spares a glance at the usually occupied couch. The usual huddled figure catching a catnap is suspiciously absent. He'll probably arrive soon; it's still a bit early, anyway. He's been busy lately, too, might've gotten caught up in some other appointment or something.
"Jin went to get coffee," Koki catches him before he can avert his gaze. He wants to strangle Koki and wipe that knowing smirk off his face.
Instead he snorts, "I didn't ask."
"I know you didn't," then Koki turns to Junno and says, "You gotta show me that game you're talking about."
"Sure. You should come to my place sometime. I think I have a few stuff I can let you borrow," Junno thinks it over deeply enough. He's not one to part with his beloved toys. Kame listens in on their conversation, but it's mostly about games. He likes to play them when he has time, but having his schedule, he's not really that updated on the recent stuff; he hasn't even finished any game he's started playing. Koki and Junno talking animatedly to each other makes him smile a little though. It's good seeing them getting along so well.
Sitting around together like this is nice and all but not being able to contribute anything to the conversation makes Kame a little uncomfortable and fidgety so he gets up and heads for the door, figures he could go find something to keep him occupied until the make-up artists and other backstage people get to them and tell them what to do.
As he's about to head out Koki calls his name, "Kame, he's at the café downstairs," then winks and starts snickering.
Junno, as always misses the subtle hints. He looks at both of them expressionlessly until it hits him, "Oh, you mean Jin, right?"
Koki stops giggling and sighs deeply.
Kame rolls his eyes at them. It's not like he's going to look for Jin. Nonetheless, he presses the ground floor button as soon as he enters the elevator.
There's handful of people scattered around the café; some reading books, probably waiting for the event to start, some with colleagues chatting about workplace gossip on their coffee break, others just spacing out and killing some time. There's tree in the middle of the cafe, decorated with all the trimmings and matching decorative presents under it. Kame remembers he missed putting up a tree again this year. It'd probably be nice to looks at, something festive and colorful, just a little something to remind him of the Christmas eves spent eating cake and opening presents that he used to have. These days it doesn't seem worth the effort when he can only spend a few hours at home.
He cranes his neck to look behind the tree through the glass windows. No sign of the person he's looking for. He must've missed Jin. It wouldn't be that strange. It's not like Jin would stay there for hours waiting for coffee. He's probably back in the dressing room already. When nowhere else seem interesting to go to, Kame decides to come back up as well.
He takes the elevator with a few other people who, he guesses, must be working on the venue or some other technical department. He doesn't recognize anyone though he can feel some of them peeping at him from the corner of their eyes. He's gotten used to those veiled stares. Thankfully, they all get out one floor before him so he's all alone when the elevator finally arrives to his floor.
He walks out to an equally deserted hallway. Well, almost deserted hallway.
Right there, before the door leading to another hallway of doors to the dressing rooms (one of which is theirs) stands Akanishi Jin, both arms cradling half a dozen coffee cups and frowning vehemently at the door knob.
"Um, Jin?"
Jin looks up at the mention of his name and immediately sags in relief when he sees Kame, "Oh thank God you came. I've been waiting for hours for somebody to come out and open the goddamn door."
Jin grins at him, and Kame knows it's genuine because his eyes sparkle like he's all awake and really glad to see Kame. It makes Kame wish Jin really is glad to see him and not just because he's there to open the door. Kame takes the other three cups Jin is holding which makes Jin all the more relieved as the go on and head to their dressing room.
"I really should've dragged Junno down with me to get this, t'would've been easier to make him carry all these around. Wouldn't have gotten stuck with my hands full staring a freakin' door, too."
"You could've just shouted for help, you're noisy enough for anyone to hear you."
"Hah! You know I'm trying to lose the B Yamashita attaches to my name, right?"
Kame snorts at that. Bakanishi.
Sometimes it makes Kame wonder if Jin's too cool for their little boyband. If Jin thinks he's the very image of an idol, for him Jin would make a perfect rock star. When he sees that indifferent attitude, that lovely pout, he wonders if Jin even likes what they do. His lovely smile, which used to be so easy to spot, is now only reserved for the most private of moments with the closest of friends. It makes Kame happy to see that in the unguarded moments like this one, the real Jin comes out.
They stop in front of their dressing room, and realize that now, both of their hands are occupied and there's no one else to open the door.
They burst out laughing.
That's how Nakamaru finds them when he opens the door to check what the ruckus is all about. Everyone is in already inside and expecting the crew to arrive at any time.
"Jeez, I thought there was a fire or something,"
"See, Jin, I told you'd be loud enough,"
Jin just sticks his tongue out at Kame and goes on to make fun at how Maru's the last to arrive again and with hat hair at that.
"You can't know that! You weren't here!" Maru desperately tries to defend himself.
"Koki and Junno were already here and Kame was with me and Ueda never comes last so ha! You lose, again!"
Kame is a little jealous of the attention Maru always gets from Jin, but he can't blame Maru. Maru is so easy to get along with.
"Oh, so you were together doing something that would make Jin loud enough for people to hear, eh?" Koki can't help goading Kame. Kame always gets all flustered and shy about it, especially when it's about Jin. He wouldn't really admit it but he's got an eensy weensy bit of a crush on Kame. He loves it when they do fanservice and Jin tenses up. Those two are just too obvious really.
Kame glares at him and Koki backs off, albeit amused with the expected reaction. Jin is smirking when Kame looks at him though, and everyone else is just trying to ignore the moment and make things less awkward.
Kame sighs in relief when the make-up artists and hairstylists chose that particular time to make an appearance and everyone goes into work mode. For the next few hours it will all be about the performance and real life issues will have to take a backseat.
"Hey, you guys free tonight? I want Yakiniku!" Koki whines no one in particular, so they can all assume it's directed to all of them. The performance was one of their better ones, it's not the best, but it wasn't that bad, either.
They're quite happy with it; by their standards, it's a good day at the office. Koki's enthusiasm about it is apparently overwhelming enough to demand an after party.
"Oh, I'll go!" Junno, as hyper as ever, bites first.
"Yeah, I'm fine with that," Nakamaru calmly accepts the offer as well.
Koki says expectantly to Kame, "Ne, Kame-chan, you don't have work after this, so you?"
Kame looks at the three eager faces right in front of his face, "Um...Sure, I'll go," and he gives them the little smile as they rejoice.
"I'll go, too, then," Jin abruptly adds as soon as Kame agrees, which makes the other three whoop in joy and Kame look at him weirdly. Again, Jin just smirks at him.
All of them turn to Ueda, who is sitting in a chair reading a magazine, completely oblivious to all the planning and celebrating and what not. He looks up from the magazine when everything goes silent, and nonchalantly replies, "Sure. whatever."
They're all be having dinner together then.
They get to the restaurant on their own, planning to meet up at the place. Koki gets on his bike while Maru and Junno hitch a ride with Ueda. Kame doesn't expect Jin to just casually come over and get in the moment Kame deactivates the lock.
"What are you waiting for, I'm starving!" Jin motions to him to get on as well.
Kame can't think of what to do but just give in and drive with Jin sitting beside him.
"Don't you have your own car?"
"Manager-san picked me up today."
"Figures why you're so early."
Jin snorts at that, "Why are you suddenly so snitty with me?" then his voice trails out as he looks out at the passing urban scenery, "Don't you want me to be here?"
Kame draws a deep breath and releases it in a heavy sigh. Him and Jin; it's just so complicated. He wishes they could just be together like normal people could and go on dates and be together on Christmas eve, but then it's he knows it's not what he wants for both of them, either. There are so many things they can both be capable of achieving and jeopardizing their and their band mates chances of reaching for whatever heights they can reach will be much worse than just ignoring the dull ache in his chest every time a tabloid comes out with pictures of Jin partying with girls he sometimes goes out with. Or so Kame thinks. He knows he shouldn't be feeling bad about it, he agreed to it, too. But then there will be times, just like this, when Jin would reach out to him and one thing would lead to another, and before he can trace the events leading to it, he'd already be waking up next to Jin and kissing him and making him breakfast and not feeling guilty about what they've done that they shouldn't have. He wishes for more mornings (and nights) like those, but he knows he can't have those everyday. He's not entitled to demand for those, so he'll take whatever it is that's given to him.
"No, Jin, it's not like that, but you know when people start to talk..."
"Hmm, I think Koki knows," Jin feels like freaking Kame out just a bit. Just a little something for always driving him insane with overanalyzing the situation and making him feel unwanted sometimes. He knows Kame's not doing deliberately and for that purpose, but he just wishes that at times, Kame would stop trying to be so damn perfect and let himself be happy.
"Koki does not know. He thinks he knows something's going on but really, really got no idea," Kame freaks.
"But something is going on..." Jin doesn't really look at Kame when he says this. He just looks absorbed in staring out the window.
"I didn't say something isn't."
Kame's right hand leaves the wheel shift gears, but even after he has done so, his hand lingers where it is. After a single moment it travels up to squeeze Jin's left hand. Jin rests his other elbow against the window frame and cradles his face with his free hand. He looks at Kame, but Kame is concentrating on the road ahead. His eyes gaze lowers to their entwined hands. Jin contemplates for a while. He squeezes back Kame's hand just in time before Kame has to retract his hand and grab the clutch again. They don't say anything until they reach the restaurant. Jin returns to looking back out the window, but now the hand that he's laying his head against is trying to conceal a genuinely pleased grin.
"You know most people have this day off, right?" Koki ruefully muses his missed holiday.
"Yeah, it's a holiday in a lot places," Jin adds, "Not here, though."
"Maaa. Would love to try not working on this day," They all look at Maru who said this.
Fittingly Kame reminds him, "You didn't have to work on this day last year."
"Oh yeah, that's right," and Maru shyly laughs.
"I'm gonna go pee, 'kay?"
"Geez, Akanishi! Too much information!" Ueda might be revolted with the statement but everyone else is just bursting out laughing.
When Jin comes they're ready to leave and already have their wallets out and ready.
"Um..." Jin starts shyly, "I already took care of the tab."
"Uwaaah! Jin's so cool!" seems to be the catchphrase of the evening and Kame can't help but hide a smile to himself.
They all wish each other a Merry Christmas before they arm themselves against the weather and head on out. Kame says he'll stay for a bit to use the bathroom facilities and tells everyone to just go ahead of him. He's guesses Jin will get a cab or go with Ueda. Jin didn't say anything about meeting up or waiting for him. Maybe he has to meet up with some friends and go to a club or some other place. Kame just shrugs it off. He's used to times like these, anyway. So he truly is shocked when he steps out of the restaurant and is greeted with a loud "boo!".
"What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for my ride," the way Jin is pointing at him makes it obvious just who exactly Jin's ride is. "And yes, I did go walk a block or two so Koki wouldn't freak about us leaving together, there, you don't have to panic now," then Jin smiles smugly like he's so pleased with the way he thought things through.
Kame lets him have his moment and leads him to the car.
Once they're inside Kame asks him where wants to be dropped, but Jin just looks out down at his hands. Kame knows he's going to take Jin home with him then.
Kame hisses when Jin bites hard on his lower lip. He pushes Jin off to gauge the damage, bringing a finger to where he feels the sting the most. There's no blood his fingertips and he feels just a bit relieved. Jin is crouching above him, puffs of warm air escaping from his parted lips like he finds it difficult to breathe.
"You okay?" the concern is obvious from Jin's voice, and Kame just wants to assure him. Jin's long brown locks fall over his bare shoulders, the shirt he was wearing has long been discarded. His lips are full and red, evidence enough of how they've been ravishing each other the moment they stepped inside the apartment. Kame can see the passion in those dark brown irises. Too close. Somewhere in the back of his mind he chides himself for indulging in this closeness. He knows it would have come to this the moment he let Jin in his car, and he knows he should at least put up some resistance, but he wants this too much to care and think and stop.
He doesn't bother replying to Jin's question, just pulls him back down harshly and continues the kiss that is all lips and tongue and teeth. Jin is more than appeased with his response and starts unbuttoning his shirt, caressing every bit of skin that becomes exposed. Soon enough, they're both bare from the waist up and burning where heated flesh meets heated flesh.
Kame arches up to grind his hard on against Jin's, sensing Jin's own arousal. Jin moans against the sudden stimulation and grinds back, making Kame react in the same way with a guttural moan. There seem to be a lot of fabric between them all of a sudden and they can't wait to get rid of all the layers and feel each other. Kame fumbles with Jin's belt as Jin does with his. He lifts his when Jin yanks his jeans down and frees his aching erection. Jin teases him by ignoring the distended cock. He whines in protest, particularly when Jin gets off him and the bed, and fumbles in the side drawer. He can feel the cold where Jin's body was; they've forgotten to turn on the heat when they arrived. His toes feel comfortably warm, though; Jin hasn't taken of his socks. He can't be bothered to do that for himself now, his cock is screaming at him to touch it and he's too lazy to argue so he does.
That's how Jin finds him when he comes back with "their stash" in hand. Their stash, of course is just a kit filled with condoms and lube. They have each have one in their bedside drawers and Kame likes to think that Jin only uses his for Kame. Jin looks down at him lying supine on the bed, mouth parted and eyes closed, pleasuring himself with with a firm grip on his cock. Jin pushes the heel of his hand into his hard on, feeling it begging to be touched by Kame as well. Jin gets rid of both his pants and boxers in one go and climbs up the bed and over Kame once again.
Feeling Jin back where he should be, he opens his eyes and stops what it is that his hand is doing. He pulls Jin down to trail kisses down his neck. Jin pulls him closer and grinds their hips against each other, bringing their moist heat together. They both moan at the sensation. It's much better without clothes. When Kame arches up and thrashes his head to the side as Jin fucks against his cock, faster and harder, and all of a sudden Jin stops.
Jin's resting on his haunches when he looks at him, cock pointing upwards and hands poised to open a condom packet.
Kame rises up to rest on his elbows, and smirks at Jin, "So soon already?"
"Wanna play a little more?" Jin smirks back.
"I don't mind," and he pauses, "You can fuck me first."
Jin snorts but not out of humor, he's just so turned on right now, he can't figure out how to express it. His voice comes out all breathy and husky, "Don't come, though."
Jin strokes himself as he watches Kame spread his legs and gets himself ready. He rolls on the condom and sees Kame use a hell of a lot of lube. He's kinda glad there's a lot left, at least it's enough for both of them.
He leans forward when Kame gets ready and Kame welcomes him, looking at him with straight into his eyes when he pushes in, never flinching. Once all of him is inside, Kame just lies back down on his back and moves his hips up, like telling him it's alright to make a move. Kame has to do it a couple of times until Jin's confident enough to move. It's not that Jin doesn't want to, it's just seeing Kame like this mesmerizes him like Kame wants him as much as he wants Kame.
Kame feels a sense of fulfillment with Jin inside him. It's the only time when he feels everything of Jin is his. He knows it's shallow and physical, but he'll take it. Jin moving inside him makes him feel alive, just so full of life that he doesn't mind the initial pain and discomfort, just wants to get past it and move on towards the pleasure. It takes him a lot of effort not to come, like Jin told him to, especially when Jin puts a hand to his cock and starts jerking him off to the rhythm of his thrusts.
"J-J-Jin... don't... I'm gonna come."
Jin stops then, shifts so that he's resting on his haunches again bringing Kame's hips up with him so they don't lose contact. The position is a bit weird, and moving with Jin inside him makes Kame moan out loud at the shift of angles. Nonetheless, he lets Jin drag him around. It isn't clear what Jin has in mind until he rips open another condom packet with his teeth and rolls it onto Kame's arousal right in front of him. Kame can't keep from thrusting up at the friction and gripping the sheets in frustration since Jin immediately rubs on some lube once the condom is on.
The slow pull out comes next, and Kame can feel the burn Jin leaves behind. But then all of Jin is gone and he wills the feeling back into his legs enough to move. He puts a pillow under Jin's lower back, just to make the angle a little easier. He makes sure to grab the lube, too. He doesn't have the time or opportunity to get Jin ready when Jin's whining for him already. One of the things he likes about fucking Jin is that Jin makes all these sexy sounds, and he just can't resist when those sounds are commanding him to hurry up. Jin has gotten him good and slick already, but he still squeezes on lot of the lube when he slowly pushes into Jin.
Jin's moans are getting louder already, just with him fully inside. Kame knows it won't take that much for Jin to come, just a hit in that spot. It's not like he isn't near either, it's taking all of his concentration and effort just to try to keep from coming, especially after Jin has already sent him halfway up the peak and more so with Jin's warm, tight walls enveloping him. He knows Jin wants it this way, wants Kame inside him when he comes. Kame has never asked why though it has always made him think about it. While he's still mustering the effort and precision to move, he takes the condom off Jin's cock, spits on his hand, and rubs Jin's cock with it. Jin whimpers and buckles, precum flowing from his stimulated organ. Kame kisses him as he starts the thrusts that would send them to their orgasm.
With Kame sucking on his tongue, stretching him with every thrust, encircling his cock firmly as his hips rise and fall, and hitting his sweet spot intermittently, Jin comes first. Jin screams when he comes, and it's more his voice that drives Kame over the edge than the tight walls spasming around him. They both freeze as milky white fluid shoots out from both of their cocks and they groan as the tension ebbs away.
Kame rolls off Jin, thinking to search for tissues to clean Jin up with, but as soon as he does so, he all of a sudden feels very tired and contented, and he ends up being a pile of boneless limbs lying all over Jin, too lazy to get up. Jin just laughs softly at him, and turns to him and gives him a little peck on the lips. He smiles dreamily at Jin, and Jin is grinning at him, and that's all he remembers because then his lids start feeling heavy and he can't be bothered to open them anymore.
He's not sure how long he's been asleep when he wakes up, but Kame assumes it hasn't been that long. They both fell asleep with their heads on the foot of the bed and all the comfy pillows are on their feet; well, except for one that Jin has rolled off of. They're entangled together, and he has to move very carefully so he doesn't wake Jin up. The sweat on their bodies has long since evaporated and it's starting to get a little chilly. He heads off to the drawers to get a blanket, seeing as Jin is conveniently lying over the sheets. Jin's gonna get cold soon, too, and Kame chuckles a bit as he notes that Jin forgot to take off his own socks, as well. It's a quarter to midnight, his bedside alarm, says. He has a few more minutes left of today so he hurriedly fishes for his phone on the way back. He gets into the bed and covers the both of them with a heavy quilt.
There are some new messages that came in since the evening, but he puts them back for a while, nothing too important. He goes back to all the greetings that have been sent to him the night before, and starts replying to each one of them. He finally gets to say Merry Christmas to his family.
He's into a few messages when Jin stirs beside him.
"Hmmm, comfy," Jin hums, and peers up at Kame who's sitting up in bed.
Kame manages to ruffle his hair before he's pulled back down with Jin hugging him from behind.
"What are you doing," Jin lays his head over his shoulder and watches as Kame replies to his mail.
"Replying to everyone who wished me a Merry Chirstmas last night."
"Hmmm," Jin breathes in his sent and watches as Kame sends a few more greetings, "You should've done that last night."
"I wasn't in the mood."
"Aww, but Christmas should be fun and happy and all full of cheer."
"Right, I know, happy happy lord, right?"
Jin just stares at him like telling him that it's not funny.
"You were out?" Jin's curiousity gets the better of him.
"No, I just slept early."
"Why didn't you call me to come over?"
"Figured you'd be out celebrating or something," Kame's too timid to ask invasive questions such as what he was doing and who he was with. Because there's no real label as to what they are, he doesn't really know until where his boundaries are. He doesn't want to make feel Jin suffocated or something like that.
Jin's a little hurt that Kame always assumes Jin puts partying before him. It's not like that.
"I was home eating cake... waiting for you to say it's alright," the words come quietly, a bit cautiously, and a lot more serious despite the first few words.
Kame doesn't say anything, too afraid he'll say the wrong words. He asks himself why he hasn't taken the chance on Jin yet. After a bit of a silence, he finally manages to say, "I wasn't expecting you to be."
Jin sighs resignedly, holding on to Kame a bit tighter, "I don't know why, Kazu, but you know how I feel. I don't say it because you don't want me to say it, but you know, right? I know you know. So next year, I won't even wait for it anymore, I'm just gonna come right over, whether you want me to or not," he says it so much conviction like he's not going take no for an answer.
Hearing all of it makes Kame surprisingly gratified and so, so happy. He starts feeling giddy, but he stops himself. He's not a school girl to swoon over something like this. He looks at Jin with a pleased smile and quips, "It sure would be nice to share that cake with you."
They lean in for a sweet, little kiss. Nothing hurried or sexual but something deep and full of emotions.
When Kame gets back to replying to his messages, he notes it's already past midnight, and says so out loud.
Jin chuckles and grins impishly, "Merry December 26!"
--End--
----------------------------------------
P.S. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :D