fic:Mirage
Title: Mirage
Pairing:sakuraiba,Aimiya(friendship).
Genre:angst,smut.
Rating:PG-13
___________
Trompet is playing, drum yell…violin scream…and keyboard pound …
I feel like these voices are still stuck in my head.between all these, the memory of aiba is stuck to every cells of my brain…whatever I do I still can’t forget him even after all these years, after his death…in my dreams I still can see his shining eyes, his quite and pride figure sitting on his bed. His guitar in his hands, playing his favorite song with all his existence and I…even if I want I can’t take my fingers off the piano…
The white piano that he gave me is still in the corner of my room. though its woods have rotten, and it became a little glum but I still can hear my heartbeat from its keys, Do Re Mi Fa So tup…tup…tup…
Years ago when I graduate from the university with only signed paper in my hand named my proof, I began to look for a job,a notice caught my attention in newspaper. a music teacher needed, only man and young with education needed for tutoring music, but what I didn’t know why the insisted on the man part.
At first it was only earning some money and fun that I called them but after signing the contract I realized more important things.aiba’s family my bright student, they dint want just a music teacher, but a friend, a yokefellow and a guidance for their sons lonely days, someone who understand him, someone to be beside him on every step…if he fell that be there to help him rise again, maybe that was why they enforce on the man and young part…
I stand infront of the big building door, I walked the alabaster steps, and knocked the wooden door, following a woman’s face smiling with all her might or tried to do so, whereas deep in her eyes was full of inappreciable worry.i walk in their house, all those lights and noises…
“im really sorry masaki is a little shy,but im sure you two can get along very well.”she said nervously, looking at his son’s room,I don’t know, maybe she disbelieved In what she was saying.
When I entered his room,I saw him laying backward on his bed, he turned his head to me when I sat besid him on the edge of his bed.
“Why you came here?”he said fiercely.
“Hi…” but I just held out my hand to him.
“I don’t need a music teacher, I don’t need a highbinder, I don’t even need a friend, I don’t want anything, you can get back from where you come…”he said roughish as he made his way to his room’s window.
Maybe I should have got back that instant, but my eyes were pinned to the white piano as I reached it quietly, its door opened with a slender croon, I looked at it in surprise, even the keys were shining in cleanness, unaware,my hands flew on them,the melody began, without even a slightest try for remembering the notes ,I closed my eyes and played…my fingers moving on keys, touching their figures under my skin I felt another music completed my melody,I turned to look,that I saw aiba,sitting on his bed,held his guitar in his hands played along with me,his head was down as drop of tears, dropped on his fingers that he moved on guitar’s strings..he was drown in his music that he even didn’t notice the silence of my piano, it was for the third time that he finally heard me calling him.
“you’r really good”I smiled,he wiped his tears rashly.
“Your heart is melancholia,isn’t it?”I tried to get closer to him.
“why you ask?”he just stared at me.
“Cause you were crying while playing,your in love,right?” but he shrugged his shoulders, unable to stop his laughing, his eyes glowed, the most amazing thing that I have ever saw in my whole life…
“I feel like you’re not a stranger, someone who know this song,and play it this good can’t be a stranger”he stared at me, analyzing my every moves.
“then youll trust me,hmm?”I thought this was my chance.
“no,its been so long since the last time I trusted someone”but he answered without waiting for me to finish.
The next day I woke up with the sound of aiba’s guitar,still played that melody while he murmured with it amorously,i opened door as I slipped in the room…again ,my hands flow on keys unwillingly, we became one…
I was only a year younger than him,he was taller than me,but maybe if we were walking beside each other,we looked like two brothers or two friends than a teacher and student.little by little aiba began to show his real self to me,little by little he began to trust me but still not completely…. allowed himself to laugh with me,I still can hear his laugh in my head,the laugh that warmed my heart,the eyes that were warm like sun,but still I couldn’t figure out the reason for the despair in his laughs,the sadness that he tried to hide deep down in his eyes…step by step we became intimate with each other, we composed music together,we played to gether,we laughed together,we cried…together.
Till one day he came to my room sooner than usual, opening my eyes saw him beside my bed with a envelope in his hand.
“nino,please come to my room,I need you to do me a faviore”and with that he left,like he never was there…when I entered his room his was at the piano his hands moved on keys, practicing…
“well?”I dragged a chair as I sat beside him. Causing him to stop his fingers.
“im really sorry nino,im always troubling you,but…but I beg you,don’t say “No” to this one”he said shyly as he held the envelope to me.
“what should I do?”I simply looked at the envelope.
“Read it.”
I took it as I looked at its address,it was from sho,with the same handwrite and address, I have to admit now that aiba’s not here anymore I can confess,I knew about the letter,so long before that day that aiba gave that letter to me,I saw them many times.even once or twice I had read them unwillingly. Not that I wanted to rubberneck, it was just that they were always everywhere in his room,but this time he wanted me to read them himself.
The letter wasn’t even more than 5 or 6 lines:
My beloved masaki
Its been so long since the last time that I heard about you,you dont write to me,you don’t answer to my emails,my letters or even my calls,I wished that you knew what I have been through here without you.you still remember our dream?the promise we made?you even remember the years that I have been there beside you?i miss you,at least write for me,even if its only few lines. Please…
I love you
Sho.
i just looked at him,my eyes full of questions.
“write him something,that’s all im ask” he looked at me with waiting eyes.
“me?”I asked,unable to hide my surprise.
“yeah ill rewrite it with my handwriting and my name,just write few lines,that’s all.”
“why you don’t write it yourself?”
“I have to end it,wherever we came till now is enough,I have to break this string.”
“well,why you just tell him that you don’t love him anymore?”I asked again,unable to read his mind.
“I don’t love him?”aiba said stunned,staring right into my eyes…
“yes,when you say you want to end it,it means that you love him anymore.”I explained, unaware of the damage that I cost him.
“yeah,maybe your right,but I just don’t have the courage, to tell the truth he was my fiancé, we were suppose to get married…”aiba sobbed.
“Then why?”
“about a year ago he left the country, he was made to do it because of his career and his family, so he left…leaving me with a world full of hope,wait and love…he left just when I needed him more than ever.”
“need for what?”I saw the tears that formed in his eyes,the sadness in his eyes that tried to crawl his way back …
“please,let me to leave this question be.”I held his shaking hand as I tried to hide the hurt in my heart.
“don’t be mad,its better if you don’t know,but maybe someday I tell you”I heard his chuckled, he was always able to see right through me.i forced a laugh as I took the envelope, without knowing what I should write.
Next week,there was another letter,and I wrote again, without consulting it with aiba.and he just rewrite it,without saying a word or even protesting at my writing,he just wrote my letter word to word, signed and post it to him like a obedient student. but still he refused his calls…
And in the next letter,it was me again and apologies and giving hope to sho’s in love heart.
A year passed and he had great improve in music, little by little we began composing songs,aiba became my best friend and I became his confidant,but still his ignorance to sho was like a big question mark to me.every month two or three or sho’s letters were on my desk,and I answered them patiently and intense,so that aiba rewrite them. Till that afternoon…
“hey.”aiba said shyly as he entered his head in my room.
“hey,whats up?”I almost shout happily, still hyped about the victory in my video game.
“nino,will you come to my room?”
“you missed our twosome games?”I grinned, the thought of another victory made me even more hyper.
“no,its something else.”aiba murmured, dodging my eyes.
“Something new?”
“will you come or not?”aiba said a little annoyed,that reminded me the first time that I have saw him.
When I entered his room,he was there,on his bed,holding his guitar In his embrace .i made my way to the piano,but before I was able to play a note he put his hand on the piano.facing my surprise face.
“don’t play,at least not now,my heart is so heavy that im sure you won’t be to the second note that I’ll cry…”then he put the familiar envelop in my hands.my hands unaware wrapped around it.but I tried to be carefree.
“read it.”aiba chuckled as he pushed the letter to me.
“I wanted t write like you,but I couldn’t…I screw up two papers for nothing.”
“then write other guess.”but aiba just looked at me for a second.i was scared,that he saw the trembling of my hands,my loud heartbeat…tup…tup…tup…
“so many time I tried to forget him,I want to don’t love him anymore,but I can’t…no matter how manytimes I dodge his calls,give his letter to you…I still cant,these two time that I tried to write myself,it reminded me of old time,when we were together…I began to forgot him,but my heart is his prisoner,I cant write,please you write again,what ever you want,let me believe that…”and then it was his guitar melody and his crystalline tears on his guitar.his words were spinning in my head.i didn’t know,and didn’t understand why aiba was running away,why he didn’t want sho,but still he wasn’t able to let go of him…and so many other whys…
Aiba was patient, his mind order him of severance, but his heart was stubborn…his heart was still in love.aiba tried his best to calm his crazy heart, but it didn’t want to listen…and I was forced only to watch, without being able to do anything…
Till that golden day,the moment of reunion,sho finally wasn’t able to hold back,seeing aiba love letters…one day he wrote that get the chance to see aiba again,and there we were,waiting for him…me,aiba,his mother,his friends…the sound of instruments filled the house.i played the piano,and aiba with his guitar although he tried to stay cool, till the doorbell caught everyone’s attention…
Everyone looked at the entrance, me and aiba more worried than everyone…
First of all was sho and a carefree young handsome man,then sho’s parent, all attentions were locked on the young man that sho’s mother laughed as she introduced him as his sons teacher.
Aiba was like he didn’t belong in this world,a postiche smile on his face greeted him coldly.
The young man noticed my silence,as he made his way toward me.
“Your aiba’s teacher,right?”he smiled as he held out his hand to me politely.
“yes.”I tried to be like him,but all I was able to think about was those two.
“then we’re colleague,im matsumoto jun,sho-kun’s teacher.”he held my hand firmly in his,the warmness of his hand was familiar to me,the face that was acquaintance. But where from?but I didn’t get the chance to go through my memories as aiba came besid me,hardly able to held up his tears…
“can you come to my room for a second?”he begged near my ear. Dragging me to his room before I was even able to answer him.
When the door closed behind me,all the noises were lost, instead room was filled with aiba’s sonorant cry.he cried loud and impavid.but I was only able to wait for him to calm down,to began himself…
“I cant,there is no way!nino,I beg you,please help me.”I held his trembling shoulders as we sat on the floor.
“You and sho are finally together, why you say these things then?”
“I haven’t told you an important thing,I didn’t tell anyone,but I want to say it,only to you,I cant be with sho,I cant ruin his life,I love him,I swear to god I die for him,but I can’t…I wanted to forget him,I wanted to believe that everything was over,but it wasn’t…I don’t have the courage to tell him,I cant bare his eyes,but I want to tell you nino…”his voice was like a drowned in the ocean. He broke little by little as he said every word.
“What’s wrong aiba?what you didn’t told me?”My heart beast faster in horror.
Suddenly his stopped crying,as the last tear dropped on my hand.
“Im sick nino,im going to die…I don’t even know have much time I have left anymore…”aiba stole his glance away from mine.
I just froze at where I was,I couldn’t belive it,aiba?dying?this sickness didn’t find a host kinder that him?a heart purer that his?eye brighter than his?
When he saw my disbelieve and silence, continued…
“I cant tell sho,I cant even acting anymore, to yell at him to go away, that I don’t love him anymore,not when all my whole existence scream that love him,I didn’t want him to held back his life,his dreams just for me….so I decided not to answer his letter,but I couldn’t…I wanted you to write,I thought you wouldn’t use the love words,but you did..i didn’t want it to get till here,but it got…”I brought my head up,looking at him with my teary eyes…
“no…I cant.”I finally whispered.
“its still not too late.”
“no,it is.”
“go nino,he’s waiting in my room,go tell him…”
“but…aiba…”
“I’ll die soon enough nino,I don’t even know if im able to see tomorrow or not,but he deserve to live.go and tell him how much I loved him.”
To be able to love someone like this…I just held him tight in my arms,unable to say anything,washed all his sadness with my warm tears,I wished that this damn sickness instead of his heart was on his skin,so that I would cry day and night till I was able to wash away aiba from it…
“I want you to have the piano,my gift for all your kindness, but not the guitar! The first gift he gave me,this guitar is my everthing,but the piano is yours, whenever you remembered me,play the song that we both loved,okay?”he smiled, wiping my tears with his thumbs.
I nodded my head, hardly able to held back my tears as I entered the salon.the loud music sound filled my ears again.aiba who joined his friends, holding the saxophone in his hands…
I looked at sho who was talking with aiba’s father,I was waiting for their conversation to finish that jun stood beside me.
“you have a magnificent student,the rest are good,but he’s the best.”
“I think your student isn’t anything less than him.”I tried to take my gaze off sho.
“you mean his behavior with aiba-san?”jun laughed.
“no I mean his letter for aiba.”I answered back fiercely. regretting what I have said that instant. But jun seemed like he found something amusing.
“the letters?you mean that love words and imaginary world?”jun laughed again,as he raised his eyebrow for me.
“it was all me,I wrote those letters so that aiba earnest to his love,sho and love letters?he even didn’t bother to read them,not even once asked about aiba,if there was a call it was all because his family made him,other than it was heaven for him that aiba didn’t wrote for him…”the rest of his words were lost in his laugh and the loud music,and I didn’t hear anything…I tried to look for sho,but the only thing that I saw was the picture of patsy aiba who played and cried,everywhere was aiba and the feeling of betrayal, everywhere was lies and swindle…sho was lost.
The music is still on, Trumpet is playing, drum yell…violin scream…keyboard pound and now the saxophone cry…guitar whimper and the piano that note the cheat…
There was one more thing,aiba who was still madly in love…
_____
Note:I hate angst,but when im down I can’t help but to write,and the result is…?!yes angst fic.please bear with me,I just finished it right now(its 7 am in my country)I don’t even have the strength to re-read it again for my mistakes(so sleepy XP).i don’t like angst but the one’s they like it,hope you like it(wow what I have said,I think im jist too sleepy).aah and gomene ill try to update for you fic as fast as I got in the mood.
p.s:mari-chan please forgive me,I try to write it asap. M(_ _)M
Pairing:sakuraiba,Aimiya(friendship).
Genre:angst,smut.
Rating:PG-13
___________
Trompet is playing, drum yell…violin scream…and keyboard pound …
I feel like these voices are still stuck in my head.between all these, the memory of aiba is stuck to every cells of my brain…whatever I do I still can’t forget him even after all these years, after his death…in my dreams I still can see his shining eyes, his quite and pride figure sitting on his bed. His guitar in his hands, playing his favorite song with all his existence and I…even if I want I can’t take my fingers off the piano…
The white piano that he gave me is still in the corner of my room. though its woods have rotten, and it became a little glum but I still can hear my heartbeat from its keys, Do Re Mi Fa So tup…tup…tup…
Years ago when I graduate from the university with only signed paper in my hand named my proof, I began to look for a job,a notice caught my attention in newspaper. a music teacher needed, only man and young with education needed for tutoring music, but what I didn’t know why the insisted on the man part.
At first it was only earning some money and fun that I called them but after signing the contract I realized more important things.aiba’s family my bright student, they dint want just a music teacher, but a friend, a yokefellow and a guidance for their sons lonely days, someone who understand him, someone to be beside him on every step…if he fell that be there to help him rise again, maybe that was why they enforce on the man and young part…
I stand infront of the big building door, I walked the alabaster steps, and knocked the wooden door, following a woman’s face smiling with all her might or tried to do so, whereas deep in her eyes was full of inappreciable worry.i walk in their house, all those lights and noises…
“im really sorry masaki is a little shy,but im sure you two can get along very well.”she said nervously, looking at his son’s room,I don’t know, maybe she disbelieved In what she was saying.
When I entered his room,I saw him laying backward on his bed, he turned his head to me when I sat besid him on the edge of his bed.
“Why you came here?”he said fiercely.
“Hi…” but I just held out my hand to him.
“I don’t need a music teacher, I don’t need a highbinder, I don’t even need a friend, I don’t want anything, you can get back from where you come…”he said roughish as he made his way to his room’s window.
Maybe I should have got back that instant, but my eyes were pinned to the white piano as I reached it quietly, its door opened with a slender croon, I looked at it in surprise, even the keys were shining in cleanness, unaware,my hands flew on them,the melody began, without even a slightest try for remembering the notes ,I closed my eyes and played…my fingers moving on keys, touching their figures under my skin I felt another music completed my melody,I turned to look,that I saw aiba,sitting on his bed,held his guitar in his hands played along with me,his head was down as drop of tears, dropped on his fingers that he moved on guitar’s strings..he was drown in his music that he even didn’t notice the silence of my piano, it was for the third time that he finally heard me calling him.
“you’r really good”I smiled,he wiped his tears rashly.
“Your heart is melancholia,isn’t it?”I tried to get closer to him.
“why you ask?”he just stared at me.
“Cause you were crying while playing,your in love,right?” but he shrugged his shoulders, unable to stop his laughing, his eyes glowed, the most amazing thing that I have ever saw in my whole life…
“I feel like you’re not a stranger, someone who know this song,and play it this good can’t be a stranger”he stared at me, analyzing my every moves.
“then youll trust me,hmm?”I thought this was my chance.
“no,its been so long since the last time I trusted someone”but he answered without waiting for me to finish.
The next day I woke up with the sound of aiba’s guitar,still played that melody while he murmured with it amorously,i opened door as I slipped in the room…again ,my hands flow on keys unwillingly, we became one…
I was only a year younger than him,he was taller than me,but maybe if we were walking beside each other,we looked like two brothers or two friends than a teacher and student.little by little aiba began to show his real self to me,little by little he began to trust me but still not completely…. allowed himself to laugh with me,I still can hear his laugh in my head,the laugh that warmed my heart,the eyes that were warm like sun,but still I couldn’t figure out the reason for the despair in his laughs,the sadness that he tried to hide deep down in his eyes…step by step we became intimate with each other, we composed music together,we played to gether,we laughed together,we cried…together.
Till one day he came to my room sooner than usual, opening my eyes saw him beside my bed with a envelope in his hand.
“nino,please come to my room,I need you to do me a faviore”and with that he left,like he never was there…when I entered his room his was at the piano his hands moved on keys, practicing…
“well?”I dragged a chair as I sat beside him. Causing him to stop his fingers.
“im really sorry nino,im always troubling you,but…but I beg you,don’t say “No” to this one”he said shyly as he held the envelope to me.
“what should I do?”I simply looked at the envelope.
“Read it.”
I took it as I looked at its address,it was from sho,with the same handwrite and address, I have to admit now that aiba’s not here anymore I can confess,I knew about the letter,so long before that day that aiba gave that letter to me,I saw them many times.even once or twice I had read them unwillingly. Not that I wanted to rubberneck, it was just that they were always everywhere in his room,but this time he wanted me to read them himself.
The letter wasn’t even more than 5 or 6 lines:
My beloved masaki
Its been so long since the last time that I heard about you,you dont write to me,you don’t answer to my emails,my letters or even my calls,I wished that you knew what I have been through here without you.you still remember our dream?the promise we made?you even remember the years that I have been there beside you?i miss you,at least write for me,even if its only few lines. Please…
I love you
Sho.
i just looked at him,my eyes full of questions.
“write him something,that’s all im ask” he looked at me with waiting eyes.
“me?”I asked,unable to hide my surprise.
“yeah ill rewrite it with my handwriting and my name,just write few lines,that’s all.”
“why you don’t write it yourself?”
“I have to end it,wherever we came till now is enough,I have to break this string.”
“well,why you just tell him that you don’t love him anymore?”I asked again,unable to read his mind.
“I don’t love him?”aiba said stunned,staring right into my eyes…
“yes,when you say you want to end it,it means that you love him anymore.”I explained, unaware of the damage that I cost him.
“yeah,maybe your right,but I just don’t have the courage, to tell the truth he was my fiancé, we were suppose to get married…”aiba sobbed.
“Then why?”
“about a year ago he left the country, he was made to do it because of his career and his family, so he left…leaving me with a world full of hope,wait and love…he left just when I needed him more than ever.”
“need for what?”I saw the tears that formed in his eyes,the sadness in his eyes that tried to crawl his way back …
“please,let me to leave this question be.”I held his shaking hand as I tried to hide the hurt in my heart.
“don’t be mad,its better if you don’t know,but maybe someday I tell you”I heard his chuckled, he was always able to see right through me.i forced a laugh as I took the envelope, without knowing what I should write.
Next week,there was another letter,and I wrote again, without consulting it with aiba.and he just rewrite it,without saying a word or even protesting at my writing,he just wrote my letter word to word, signed and post it to him like a obedient student. but still he refused his calls…
And in the next letter,it was me again and apologies and giving hope to sho’s in love heart.
A year passed and he had great improve in music, little by little we began composing songs,aiba became my best friend and I became his confidant,but still his ignorance to sho was like a big question mark to me.every month two or three or sho’s letters were on my desk,and I answered them patiently and intense,so that aiba rewrite them. Till that afternoon…
“hey.”aiba said shyly as he entered his head in my room.
“hey,whats up?”I almost shout happily, still hyped about the victory in my video game.
“nino,will you come to my room?”
“you missed our twosome games?”I grinned, the thought of another victory made me even more hyper.
“no,its something else.”aiba murmured, dodging my eyes.
“Something new?”
“will you come or not?”aiba said a little annoyed,that reminded me the first time that I have saw him.
When I entered his room,he was there,on his bed,holding his guitar In his embrace .i made my way to the piano,but before I was able to play a note he put his hand on the piano.facing my surprise face.
“don’t play,at least not now,my heart is so heavy that im sure you won’t be to the second note that I’ll cry…”then he put the familiar envelop in my hands.my hands unaware wrapped around it.but I tried to be carefree.
“read it.”aiba chuckled as he pushed the letter to me.
“I wanted t write like you,but I couldn’t…I screw up two papers for nothing.”
“then write other guess.”but aiba just looked at me for a second.i was scared,that he saw the trembling of my hands,my loud heartbeat…tup…tup…tup…
“so many time I tried to forget him,I want to don’t love him anymore,but I can’t…no matter how manytimes I dodge his calls,give his letter to you…I still cant,these two time that I tried to write myself,it reminded me of old time,when we were together…I began to forgot him,but my heart is his prisoner,I cant write,please you write again,what ever you want,let me believe that…”and then it was his guitar melody and his crystalline tears on his guitar.his words were spinning in my head.i didn’t know,and didn’t understand why aiba was running away,why he didn’t want sho,but still he wasn’t able to let go of him…and so many other whys…
Aiba was patient, his mind order him of severance, but his heart was stubborn…his heart was still in love.aiba tried his best to calm his crazy heart, but it didn’t want to listen…and I was forced only to watch, without being able to do anything…
Till that golden day,the moment of reunion,sho finally wasn’t able to hold back,seeing aiba love letters…one day he wrote that get the chance to see aiba again,and there we were,waiting for him…me,aiba,his mother,his friends…the sound of instruments filled the house.i played the piano,and aiba with his guitar although he tried to stay cool, till the doorbell caught everyone’s attention…
Everyone looked at the entrance, me and aiba more worried than everyone…
First of all was sho and a carefree young handsome man,then sho’s parent, all attentions were locked on the young man that sho’s mother laughed as she introduced him as his sons teacher.
Aiba was like he didn’t belong in this world,a postiche smile on his face greeted him coldly.
The young man noticed my silence,as he made his way toward me.
“Your aiba’s teacher,right?”he smiled as he held out his hand to me politely.
“yes.”I tried to be like him,but all I was able to think about was those two.
“then we’re colleague,im matsumoto jun,sho-kun’s teacher.”he held my hand firmly in his,the warmness of his hand was familiar to me,the face that was acquaintance. But where from?but I didn’t get the chance to go through my memories as aiba came besid me,hardly able to held up his tears…
“can you come to my room for a second?”he begged near my ear. Dragging me to his room before I was even able to answer him.
When the door closed behind me,all the noises were lost, instead room was filled with aiba’s sonorant cry.he cried loud and impavid.but I was only able to wait for him to calm down,to began himself…
“I cant,there is no way!nino,I beg you,please help me.”I held his trembling shoulders as we sat on the floor.
“You and sho are finally together, why you say these things then?”
“I haven’t told you an important thing,I didn’t tell anyone,but I want to say it,only to you,I cant be with sho,I cant ruin his life,I love him,I swear to god I die for him,but I can’t…I wanted to forget him,I wanted to believe that everything was over,but it wasn’t…I don’t have the courage to tell him,I cant bare his eyes,but I want to tell you nino…”his voice was like a drowned in the ocean. He broke little by little as he said every word.
“What’s wrong aiba?what you didn’t told me?”My heart beast faster in horror.
Suddenly his stopped crying,as the last tear dropped on my hand.
“Im sick nino,im going to die…I don’t even know have much time I have left anymore…”aiba stole his glance away from mine.
I just froze at where I was,I couldn’t belive it,aiba?dying?this sickness didn’t find a host kinder that him?a heart purer that his?eye brighter than his?
When he saw my disbelieve and silence, continued…
“I cant tell sho,I cant even acting anymore, to yell at him to go away, that I don’t love him anymore,not when all my whole existence scream that love him,I didn’t want him to held back his life,his dreams just for me….so I decided not to answer his letter,but I couldn’t…I wanted you to write,I thought you wouldn’t use the love words,but you did..i didn’t want it to get till here,but it got…”I brought my head up,looking at him with my teary eyes…
“no…I cant.”I finally whispered.
“its still not too late.”
“no,it is.”
“go nino,he’s waiting in my room,go tell him…”
“but…aiba…”
“I’ll die soon enough nino,I don’t even know if im able to see tomorrow or not,but he deserve to live.go and tell him how much I loved him.”
To be able to love someone like this…I just held him tight in my arms,unable to say anything,washed all his sadness with my warm tears,I wished that this damn sickness instead of his heart was on his skin,so that I would cry day and night till I was able to wash away aiba from it…
“I want you to have the piano,my gift for all your kindness, but not the guitar! The first gift he gave me,this guitar is my everthing,but the piano is yours, whenever you remembered me,play the song that we both loved,okay?”he smiled, wiping my tears with his thumbs.
I nodded my head, hardly able to held back my tears as I entered the salon.the loud music sound filled my ears again.aiba who joined his friends, holding the saxophone in his hands…
I looked at sho who was talking with aiba’s father,I was waiting for their conversation to finish that jun stood beside me.
“you have a magnificent student,the rest are good,but he’s the best.”
“I think your student isn’t anything less than him.”I tried to take my gaze off sho.
“you mean his behavior with aiba-san?”jun laughed.
“no I mean his letter for aiba.”I answered back fiercely. regretting what I have said that instant. But jun seemed like he found something amusing.
“the letters?you mean that love words and imaginary world?”jun laughed again,as he raised his eyebrow for me.
“it was all me,I wrote those letters so that aiba earnest to his love,sho and love letters?he even didn’t bother to read them,not even once asked about aiba,if there was a call it was all because his family made him,other than it was heaven for him that aiba didn’t wrote for him…”the rest of his words were lost in his laugh and the loud music,and I didn’t hear anything…I tried to look for sho,but the only thing that I saw was the picture of patsy aiba who played and cried,everywhere was aiba and the feeling of betrayal, everywhere was lies and swindle…sho was lost.
The music is still on, Trumpet is playing, drum yell…violin scream…keyboard pound and now the saxophone cry…guitar whimper and the piano that note the cheat…
There was one more thing,aiba who was still madly in love…
_____
Note:I hate angst,but when im down I can’t help but to write,and the result is…?!yes angst fic.please bear with me,I just finished it right now(its 7 am in my country)I don’t even have the strength to re-read it again for my mistakes(so sleepy XP).i don’t like angst but the one’s they like it,hope you like it(wow what I have said,I think im jist too sleepy).aah and gomene ill try to update for you fic as fast as I got in the mood.
p.s:mari-chan please forgive me,I try to write it asap. M(_ _)M