Don't Smile
Wednesday.
The express Q train decides not to stop at Jessica’s station because of railway construction. Consequently, she is fifteen minutes late for work and forced to take the R, which goes pretty much the same way as the Q but with a million extra stops.
It is at eighth street, where she is wedged in the corner by mid-morning commuter rush, half-heartedly clinging to a bar and coming up with possible ways to apologize to her dickhead of a boss without giving up too much of her dignity, that Jessica first sees the girl who has the words ‘fresh meat’ written all over her in glaring big letters. Scratch that, it's not even written all over her, it's set up extravagantly and possibly even illuminated within her being like a blinking neon sign.
The girl stumbles in at eighth street, teetering in last after being pushed back by the crowd barreling forward for any spare inch of space possible. She’s in heels (not a good idea) and makes the classic mistake of getting too close to the dozing hobo who is occupying one of the handicapped seats, resulting in his awakening and loud screaming that now fills the subway.
“GET AWAY FROM MY SPACE! THIS IS MY SPACE GODDAMN IT I PAID FOR IT!”
Jessica is too tired to feel sympathetic and she only watches blankly as the new girl squirms away, mortified and blushing a deep shade of pink, jostling the jam packed crowd of passengers, much to everyone’s annoyance and dismay.
When the R starts up again and the girl with ‘fresh meat’ written all over her nearly falls into a businessman holding his coffee, Jessica sighs and decides that the girl will not last long.
Girls like that get eaten up. They end up regretting ever thinking they'd want to be here.
---
Friday.
It is raining. The Q is still not back on, which is insane considering its importance in people's lives.
One of Jessica’s roommates, a tall, slender woman with a stomach like that of six men, has her out on errands. Jessica is at Prince Street under a five dollar umbrella that is one more gust of wind away from breaking when she decides that she has done her best at trying to get everything her roommate wants (only more than half the list is missing), and decides to take the R train home.
Amazingly enough, but maybe not so amazingly because this city is too goddamn small, she recognizes the girl with ‘fresh meat’ written all over her when she steps on. The girl is noticeably soaked, dark black hair matted to her pale forehead along with her clothes to her shivering frame. She looks like an abandoned puppy at the corner of the train, clutching to a subway pole for dear life.
Jessica looks around, noting that no one seems to notice the girl. They’re too engrossed in their books, or music, or stop indicators, or even just the view outside of the window - which is nothing but the continuous crawl of the dark slate tunnel walls.
People in the city are quite heartless - and for good reason, too. But Jessica isn’t all the way there yet, so she shuffles her way to the girl with ‘fresh meat’ written all over her’s side of the train and edges her cheap umbrella to the girl subtly.
“You need this more than I do,” she says, and the girl looks up, all the way startled by the looks of her gaping mouth and wide, shining eyes.
“Excuse me?”
It’s almost Jessica’s stop, and she huffs a little impatiently.
“Use this umbrella,” she clarifies.
“You look like you’re another five minutes away from catching pneumonia or something. So stay dry because no one wants to see a dead body on the street”
Her stop is arrives and the subway’s doors open. Jessica's already on her way out when she sees the girl grinning at her from ear to ear, eyes crinkled into little boomerangs as she’s about to speak.
“Don’t -” Jessica cuts her off.
“Don't smile. We don’t smile in public here, because that’s just asking to get taken advantage of.”
Sighing again, Jessica steps off of the R and decides that this will be her last good deed for a long time.
What’s the point for lost causes, anyways?
---
Monday.
Jessica gets to the station early and confirms with an officer that the express Q train is working. She’s tired of having to get on her knees. Groveling to her boss is definitely not her style.
It’s 10 minutes until the train comes and she’s having a good day, meaning that she’s able to score a relatively clean looking seat at the station bench as she waits. Jessica tucks a wisp of brown hair from her face before shoving her hands in her pockets and nodding off. 10 minutes extra sleep is a godsend. Especially when -
“Hey.”
There is a light poke into the side of her arm, and Jessica opens her eyes irritably, ready to yowl until she sees who it is.
The girl with ‘fresh meat’ written all over her is looking at her tentatively, a small smile on her face. It's a wonder how they keep running into each other. She must live around here.
“I’m sorry,” the girl says, “I know I’m not supposed to smile, but I’m just really glad to see you. I have something for you.”
She reaches into her purse and pulls out a bundle of cheap looking plastic tarp canvas.
“My umbrella,” Jessica says blankly.
“I just wanted to return this,” the girl with ‘fresh meat’ written all over her says earnestly, “thank you so much. This really helped me when I was getting home.”
“Keep it,” Jessica shrugs, “It’s just a cheap umbrella. I’m surprised it didn’t break on you on the way home, to be honest.”
The girl laughs and Jessica sees nothing but flashing white teeth and closed eyes that really seem to be enjoying something fully for a moment, before she looks at Jessica again, all too kindly.
“Thank you, really, though,” she says. “Can I repay you in any way?”
“It’s really no big deal. You don’t have to.”
“Can I buy you coffee?”
She’s noticed the bags prominently hanging under Jessica’s eyes, and the brunette can only shrug as the girl insists on getting her some coffee.
She's been late everyday for the past week, anyways. What's another day?
---
Later.
The girl with ‘fresh meat’ written all over her - Tiffany - has a favorite coffee stand. It’s right outside of Union Square, just one block away. There, she gets coffee with extra sugar and one black for Jessica in classic touristy anthora cups, and offers to buy Jessica a chocolate croissant though she eventually ends up splitting her own in half to share despite Jessica having not asked.
Tiffany's lived in the city for a little under a month. She loves the fast paced environment. She’s never been to Stumptown Coffee Roasters on twenty-eighth street. She hardly has any city connections, and thinks the Blind Barber’s is actually a barber shop - which it is, but isn’t at the same time.
Jessica grudgingly finds her charming, if not absolutely sincere, kind, and maybe even a little too honest.
Things like that - a little naive, a little too idealistic - don’t usually last for long, but she decides she likes Tiffany anyways.
She’ll be a good friend to have until it’s time for her to leave.
---
Much, Much Later.
"You remember that one time when you came and gave me your umbrella on the subway?"
"The day you looked like Orphan Annie's cousin? Yeah, why?"
"That was the first time anyone was really nice to me since I moved here."
"Well, people here aren't really known to be kind."
"But they're not mean, either. Honestly, I think regardless of where I could have been no one would have thought twice about me on that day. Yet you did. Thanks for that."
"Like I said then. No one wants to see a dead body on the street. Don't get too mushy about it."
---
Eventually.
Tiffany loses that large, blinking neon sign that says ‘fresh meat’. Her eyes become sharper and she doesn't look like an Asian tourist that can be easily taken advantage of anymore. Or, at least Jessica gradually begins to forget that Tiffany’s a new girl.
Maybe it’s because Tiffany finally understands now how to get on a subway properly - angle your elbows out and push in immediately after two people at most step off the subway. Maybe it’s because she finally has Stumptown, and decides that she still likes her coffee cart better. Or maybe it’s because over time, helping Tiffany learn the ropes of living in the big city with only half the exasperation she would have with anyone else, Jessica eventually stops seeing the doomed new girl and only sees Tiffany looking back at her.
Because Tiffany, obviously enough, even more than that stupid 'fresh meat' label has 'Tiffany' written all over her. It’s in the way she smiles, so fully and generously. The way she still takes time to look up in amazement at the towering buildings and skyscrapers, even though she passes by them every single day of her life. The fact that she sneaks into dog parks even though she doesn’t have a dog, and tells lame jokes to children heading to school on the train in the mornings.
She's learned all the tricks but still stops for the homeless on the street, and doesn't pretend at all to be unimpressed by the wonders of the city.
She still feels things fully and that makes her a unique person in a city full of interesting people, Jessica realizes one night when they are curled up on a couch waiting for a 4AM Chinese food delivery.
There’s something about that thought which moves Jessica, because maybe she's spent all her time with her eyes on the ground until this person came into her life. And when Tiffany turns to look at her, all big, sincere eyes and plump lips, her hair curtaining about her in a dark cascade, everything turns into a moment that has Jessica surging forward, thinking ‘fuck it, we live in a metropolitan city. who cares about sexual orientation?’ soon kissing her and tasting her, finally realizing, ‘this is Tiffany. This is Tiffany. I really like Tiffany.’
Tiffany, despite her own surprise, because she swears she was just talking about claiming all of the peking ribs for herself when Jessica suddenly decided to kiss her, still responds enthusiastically. As if she's been waiting all this time.
And, entangled for long moments, maybe for the first time in a long time Jessica feels everything fully - finally gets something that's been niggling her for a long time - until they both have to pull away from each other, panting lightly.
They look at each other half in shock and wonder, and half in confusion, wondering ‘what was that? What do we do now?’
It’s then that the corners of Tiffany’s lips tremor and suddenly curl up. She laughs, grinning wide and straining not to but failing terribly as she always does.
“I’m sorry,” she says, “I know you always tell me not to smile, but I can’t help it. I’m so happy you did that.”
For once, Jessica can’t help it either, and they’re soon both giggling and laughing and kissing each other again.
It’s because it’s 4AM, Jessica thinks. They’re both tired, maybe a little drunk.
But she knows it’s also because it’s Tiffany.
It’s Tiffany who has ‘Tiffany’ written all over her, and now she’s left her mark on Jessica as well.
The End.
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A/N:
Ew, this is cheesy.