(no subject)
why cant anyone understand, I dont want to get over him. I love him. I'm scared I'll never find that feeling again. I don't want someone else. I dont want someone better. If I did I wouldn't have been going out with him. people don't get it. I'm sick of everyones advice. All of it just makes me feel worse. I just want sam. but i cant. he doesn't want me. I'd do anything for him. Its over. I don't want it to be over. I DON'T WANT TO GET OVER HIM! i just want him back. what did I do wrong? why did i have to screw this up. it hurts so bad. and its nothing anyone can do about it. he had to. i want to know what happened... what i did... or what changed... i just want him back. but i can't do that to him if he doesn't have feelings for me anymore, its just that none of my feelings for him have changed and its crushing me. i wish i could go back in time. i wish i was laying in his bed, watching movies, or going to go vote with him, or voodoo.... he made me so happy. he made me happy. it was amazing. 3 months of awesomeness. its over now though. i screwed it up apparently. it hurts. i'm going to go take some more pills now and go back to sleep. not too many of course. i couldn't do that to him, as much as it would make me feel better... to be dead, I wouldn't want him to think he was responsible. i want him back. so bad.