(no subject)
The amount of, or lack of, response from job applications is saddening... I am beginning to see just how tight the job markets are out there... for now I have a decent retail position that makes things survivable, I work hard and get 40 hours a week. I really have nothing to complain about.
Boyfran is insisting to help with loose ends of my finances, but everything I complain that I may "need" is kind of a luxury right now... I have money for rent, car, phone, food, living... But, needless to say, he surprised me, and got me Modern Warfare 3 pre-ordered on Amazon for this upcoming week... amongnst many other random surprises... always surprised ($50 to sephora, a book I've been wanting)...
I love him, so much. I get so worried about his safety, and it's maddening knowing I have no direct line to him... I want the nightmares to be over too. I have no where else to really vent about his absence in my daily life... I keep it all in, although it's the one thing that is always lingering in my consciousness. I think I would go mad if he had a more dangerous MOS or one that took him off base again. He calls his shaking hands "machine gunner hands"... it makes my stomach drop and twist.
Yet - He's deployed thousands of miles away and yet he knows how to make me happy. He's 12 hours apart, but we still have time to plan our costumes, and moving schedule... he's so busy but yet he finds the time to talk just, to talk, to me every day.
November is the month of thanks, hmm? I know what I'm thankful for - the real, true life-long friends and loved ones I have.
Anyways. What the hell did I ever do to these handful of people lately? I interpret this behavior as jealousy, but then... what are they jealous of? Me? What do I do that's so special... I always, and consistently work my ass off to get what I do. My parents raised me to never expect a handout and I dare never accept them.
I've reverted to working, working out, talking to the boyfran on skype, video games and drawing. Attempting to save some money - and some sanity. Local friends are driving me up the wall. Going to give clubbing this Friday with those I still consider awesome in Denver - hoping it will be relaxing and fun - big Steampunk photoshoot on Saturday morning for a magazine...
But in all reality, I just want these 99 days to be up, my babe to be home and to get the hell out of this state and maybe to greener pastures.
Boyfran's close friend is a hiring agent for Disney World... she says she wants my resume and is looking at a "research development" position to interview me for. Dream job anyone?
Must trudge through the swamp to get to the meadow...
Boyfran is insisting to help with loose ends of my finances, but everything I complain that I may "need" is kind of a luxury right now... I have money for rent, car, phone, food, living... But, needless to say, he surprised me, and got me Modern Warfare 3 pre-ordered on Amazon for this upcoming week... amongnst many other random surprises... always surprised ($50 to sephora, a book I've been wanting)...
I love him, so much. I get so worried about his safety, and it's maddening knowing I have no direct line to him... I want the nightmares to be over too. I have no where else to really vent about his absence in my daily life... I keep it all in, although it's the one thing that is always lingering in my consciousness. I think I would go mad if he had a more dangerous MOS or one that took him off base again. He calls his shaking hands "machine gunner hands"... it makes my stomach drop and twist.
Yet - He's deployed thousands of miles away and yet he knows how to make me happy. He's 12 hours apart, but we still have time to plan our costumes, and moving schedule... he's so busy but yet he finds the time to talk just, to talk, to me every day.
November is the month of thanks, hmm? I know what I'm thankful for - the real, true life-long friends and loved ones I have.
Anyways. What the hell did I ever do to these handful of people lately? I interpret this behavior as jealousy, but then... what are they jealous of? Me? What do I do that's so special... I always, and consistently work my ass off to get what I do. My parents raised me to never expect a handout and I dare never accept them.
I've reverted to working, working out, talking to the boyfran on skype, video games and drawing. Attempting to save some money - and some sanity. Local friends are driving me up the wall. Going to give clubbing this Friday with those I still consider awesome in Denver - hoping it will be relaxing and fun - big Steampunk photoshoot on Saturday morning for a magazine...
But in all reality, I just want these 99 days to be up, my babe to be home and to get the hell out of this state and maybe to greener pastures.
Boyfran's close friend is a hiring agent for Disney World... she says she wants my resume and is looking at a "research development" position to interview me for. Dream job anyone?
Must trudge through the swamp to get to the meadow...