Apr 07, 2007 21:15
Recently, I've been going through this phase of not being certain about the things around me. I've been too caught up with the daily routines of life. Even though happiness can be found in the small everyday things that happen, it hasn't been that way for me. Lately, I've felt like I'm a robot. One that is confined within the walls of expectancies and outside influences. I used to pride myself in knowing exactly WHO I am, WHERE I'm going, WHAT I want to do. Nothing is so clear-cut anymore. I wish it were because if you know me well, I sort of like consistency. I admit, I am a very predictable person. I like to be sure of myself.
If anything at all, I have learned so much this year. I've grown into this person who is somewhat different from who I used to be. I'm a little bit more precocious, I'm a lot more open to new things, and I'm a little bit more in control with myself and my surroundings. My cousins from the Philippines are staying with my family for a few months and they are so different from me. They were the ones who taught me that life was too short. And in reality, it IS. They live by one rule and one rule only: By not experimenting new things, you miss half your life. Today, I found myself doing the most unexpected thing and definitely the craziest thing I've ever done in my life thus far. Ask me and I'll tell you. And you know what else? I don't regret it. I think the greatest feeling is not knowing what's going to happen next, but doing it anyway. When you don't do something, you find yourself asking 463739 "what if?" questions. No more for me.