There's something I've been trying to articulate about Buffy that I haven't been having much success with. I think I managed it a little in replying to
this awesome comment from
local_max, from a post about Buffy and Faith. Taking the relevant part of my comment and putting it here for my reference.
"Sometimes I wonder if there is an element of fake it 'till you make to Buffy's kindness: She fakes it not because she's insincere, but because she's trying too hard. She acts good because she doesn't feel she is good. So she's worse than everyone, because she's not a good person, but she's better than everyone, because she acts so good and they don't."