too many questions; not enough answers
hey guys. today was the end of acheivement testing. woo hoo! this week has been so long. i am glad tomorrow is friday. i was supposed to go to bryttni's house tommorrow but her mom bought tickets to go see grease instead. thats cool. i wish i could go see grease. so now im not doing anything. maybe ill go to the beach. (since i can drive there ;) )
i feel like i havent seen my friends all week b/c i have been trapped in our testing rooms. and also since aida is over im not spending 19hours of my day at school.
today i went and bought the taking back sunday cd and it is amazing! go and buy it. they are definately my new favorite band (i get a new favorite like every week)
i just got done talking to my dad. he told me about how one of his employees that he fired just kiled himself yesterday. i asked him if he felt guilty and he said no and that he didnt make his employee choose to take drugs and choose the way his life went. he went on to tell me how the majority of people in life will only want you for how much they can get out of you. i tried to understand but i dont. i just dont see things that black and white. i believe there is so much more to people than what the world says they are worth. thats why i love getting to know people so much because i learn so much by just watching and listening to people. every one has a story and everyone has a soul.sometimes my dad is so pessimistic and i know it is because he is bitter about certain things in his life that he wishes he could change, and i know i am like that too. i hold on to things that i need to just let go. but when i start to think about the things that he says i think that maybe he is right. maybe the whole world just looks at me and wonders "now what can i get out of her?" and if they do think that way then why dont i? am i the only one that sees the world in technicolor? am i the only one who truly veiws all the glory and horror and beauty and chaos and charm all at the same time? sometimes i think that i am.
sorry to be such a downer but this is how i feel and i just need to sort through everything.
why is it that the people that are closest judge the most? is it that they think that they know me? or their lack of that feeling that make it so difficult to stop trying to assume my destiny? -Renee
i feel like i havent seen my friends all week b/c i have been trapped in our testing rooms. and also since aida is over im not spending 19hours of my day at school.
today i went and bought the taking back sunday cd and it is amazing! go and buy it. they are definately my new favorite band (i get a new favorite like every week)
i just got done talking to my dad. he told me about how one of his employees that he fired just kiled himself yesterday. i asked him if he felt guilty and he said no and that he didnt make his employee choose to take drugs and choose the way his life went. he went on to tell me how the majority of people in life will only want you for how much they can get out of you. i tried to understand but i dont. i just dont see things that black and white. i believe there is so much more to people than what the world says they are worth. thats why i love getting to know people so much because i learn so much by just watching and listening to people. every one has a story and everyone has a soul.sometimes my dad is so pessimistic and i know it is because he is bitter about certain things in his life that he wishes he could change, and i know i am like that too. i hold on to things that i need to just let go. but when i start to think about the things that he says i think that maybe he is right. maybe the whole world just looks at me and wonders "now what can i get out of her?" and if they do think that way then why dont i? am i the only one that sees the world in technicolor? am i the only one who truly veiws all the glory and horror and beauty and chaos and charm all at the same time? sometimes i think that i am.
sorry to be such a downer but this is how i feel and i just need to sort through everything.
why is it that the people that are closest judge the most? is it that they think that they know me? or their lack of that feeling that make it so difficult to stop trying to assume my destiny? -Renee