He lives!
I am alive. I promise.
Since I haven't updated in such a long time, surely I have all sorts of new life updates and such, right? Well, no.
Still working at KinderCare. This very week makes it a year of working there. It really does not seem like that long, which is weird to me, since it's work. Maybe this is due to me really loving my job. I have learned so much in a year. This includes learning to deal with kids ranging in age from 2-10 without going insane (They know not to stick me in the infant room... I shrivel up into an intimidated ball of a man--BABIES ARE TOO SMALL.) and also how to deal working with 13 women--and one homosexual latino man.
I haven't decided whether or not working in childcare has made me want to have children of my own more or less. God knows I have my bad days there. Getting a stray punch in the face--glasses broken--trying to separate a fight (over Legos) between Matthew and Jonathan in school age, or the stinging guilt of turning my attention away from Hannah in toddlers for three seconds, long enough for her to climb up on a small toy rocking chair on the playground and take a faceplant off of it onto the cement, busting her chin and requiring seven stitches. But overall, the "I colored this for you"s and the "Will you play basketball with me?"s and the "You can come to my birthday party"s win out, and make me love working there.
Unfortunately, school has been phased out of the schedule as of late. My last quarter was last spring, which I ended up dropping out of due to lack of motivation. A lot of wasted time and money is extremely frustrating, but I plan to go back... I'm just not sure when.
I'm in an awkward time and place right now relationship wise. Jennifer and I, a friend of ~7 years, have been spending progressively more and more time together the last couple months. I've always felt like there was something there, but lately it grew into something that I had to get off my chest. Two weeks ago I told her that I didn't want things to change, and that I didn't expect anything of her, but that I was starting to have feelings for her beyond friendship... and she told me that she felt the same way. I basically told her that the "ball" was in her court (which in retrospect was just a chicken-ass way of dealing with not knowing what the hell to do next), and a week ago she told me that she wanted to date exclusively... so we've been making the awkward transition from best friends to... more. It has been a very uneasy week, with awkward moments of not knowing what the other wants... it's all very new right now. I'm just trying to take it slow. It's kind of weird, though... hanging out for so long, as friends, not caring how I look or really what I say, and hanging out now... not being that much different. Over the years she has already seen me at my worsts, and I don't feel the need to act a certain way when I'm with her. Things just seem... right... when I'm with her, and it's a really nice feeling. Unfortunately, this all couldn't come at a worse time. She moved two months ago, and now instead of living 5 minutes away, she lives an hour away, up north. What is really bizarre, though, is that she now lives about 5 minutes away from my Mom's house, which is just crazy. The past two weekends I've spent up in Marysville hanging out with Jennifer until the wee hours, and then crashing at my Mom's house instead of making the hour long trip back to Bellevue. It's really weird how that worked out, of all places she could have moved to.
That's about it. I'm done rambling, now.
Since I haven't updated in such a long time, surely I have all sorts of new life updates and such, right? Well, no.
Still working at KinderCare. This very week makes it a year of working there. It really does not seem like that long, which is weird to me, since it's work. Maybe this is due to me really loving my job. I have learned so much in a year. This includes learning to deal with kids ranging in age from 2-10 without going insane (They know not to stick me in the infant room... I shrivel up into an intimidated ball of a man--BABIES ARE TOO SMALL.) and also how to deal working with 13 women--and one homosexual latino man.
I haven't decided whether or not working in childcare has made me want to have children of my own more or less. God knows I have my bad days there. Getting a stray punch in the face--glasses broken--trying to separate a fight (over Legos) between Matthew and Jonathan in school age, or the stinging guilt of turning my attention away from Hannah in toddlers for three seconds, long enough for her to climb up on a small toy rocking chair on the playground and take a faceplant off of it onto the cement, busting her chin and requiring seven stitches. But overall, the "I colored this for you"s and the "Will you play basketball with me?"s and the "You can come to my birthday party"s win out, and make me love working there.
Unfortunately, school has been phased out of the schedule as of late. My last quarter was last spring, which I ended up dropping out of due to lack of motivation. A lot of wasted time and money is extremely frustrating, but I plan to go back... I'm just not sure when.
I'm in an awkward time and place right now relationship wise. Jennifer and I, a friend of ~7 years, have been spending progressively more and more time together the last couple months. I've always felt like there was something there, but lately it grew into something that I had to get off my chest. Two weeks ago I told her that I didn't want things to change, and that I didn't expect anything of her, but that I was starting to have feelings for her beyond friendship... and she told me that she felt the same way. I basically told her that the "ball" was in her court (which in retrospect was just a chicken-ass way of dealing with not knowing what the hell to do next), and a week ago she told me that she wanted to date exclusively... so we've been making the awkward transition from best friends to... more. It has been a very uneasy week, with awkward moments of not knowing what the other wants... it's all very new right now. I'm just trying to take it slow. It's kind of weird, though... hanging out for so long, as friends, not caring how I look or really what I say, and hanging out now... not being that much different. Over the years she has already seen me at my worsts, and I don't feel the need to act a certain way when I'm with her. Things just seem... right... when I'm with her, and it's a really nice feeling. Unfortunately, this all couldn't come at a worse time. She moved two months ago, and now instead of living 5 minutes away, she lives an hour away, up north. What is really bizarre, though, is that she now lives about 5 minutes away from my Mom's house, which is just crazy. The past two weekends I've spent up in Marysville hanging out with Jennifer until the wee hours, and then crashing at my Mom's house instead of making the hour long trip back to Bellevue. It's really weird how that worked out, of all places she could have moved to.
That's about it. I'm done rambling, now.