(no subject)

[itsmaryjane]

i never wanted an lj because stupid ass drama queens write out all their bullshit for you to read and im not so into that but here i am and i do have some shit to say

i am sick of being this girl that lies
and cheats
and steals
all the fucking time
i feel like i'm the sneakiest most dishonest person i know
and its not even on purpose
and im always stoned
and in the like 4 hours im not blazed or asleep, im drunk
i just feel like im wasting every day on poison and fake friends
so im sick of that because

if you cant respect yourself no one else can respect you right?

and thats what i want, is for people to chill with me ebcause they want to chill with ME, the real me, and i dont really know who that is
but the more i try to findout who i am, i just feel like a phony and i hate that so i dont think about it and subconviously walk around like a big fucking fake because i am tooo much of a pussy to do anything about it, i guess.

bottom line, im chilling out with everything for a little bit
for myself
im training to be a jedi master and i cant give in to the dark side

and if you arent cool with that, fuck you