Fic: This Side of Me (Continued)
Title: This Side of Me (Continued)
Author: itsmadeofgold
Beta: norosegarden
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1500
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Summary: A little extra scene from gogo!Adam AU, which takes place later on the night of Adam's birthday. The boys have some things to talk about.
A/N: I just heard them having this conversation, and realized it should've been part of the last story. Or I just can't let go of these guys. ♥
“Are you sure?” Kris said into the darkness, his voice low, almost a whisper.
They had been quiet for quite a while, but he didn’t think Adam was asleep - he kept moving his feet. Adam slept like the dead and woke up in the same position he went to sleep in most mornings. Any fidgeting meant he was still thinking, and the longer Kris lay there and wondered what was going on in Adam’s mind the more he worried about it.
“Yes,” Adam said, instead of pretending he didn’t know what Kris was asking about.
Kris shifted from his position against Adam’s shoulder, turning onto his side and propping himself up on an elbow. There was little light in the room; just a thin stream of moonlight from the small alley-view window and its reflection in the two mirrors. Adam was all shadow with just a few silvery highlights, his eyes shining in the gloom when he turned them toward Kris.
“Are you sure?” Adam said.
“As long as you are,” Kris said, slowly.
“What do you mean?” Adam turned over to face Kris, propping himself up to mirror him.
“It just seemed so sudden. Did you think about it or did you just... like, want to make a big gesture because I made a big gesture? Because I really, really don’t want it to be that. I’d rather wait, if that’s what it is.”
“No,” Adam said, reaching out a hand to lay on Kris’s hip. “It’s not like that.”
“OK. I’m just saying, I’m giving you an out here if you want it. It won’t hurt my feelings, I swear.”
Adam laughed. “I’m not taking your out. I want you to come live with me, I’m not scared.”
“See, I don’t get that,” Kris said. “Why not? You flipped your shit the first time I tried to leave your place in one of your t-shirts, and it took a month to get you to say the word ‘boyfriend’ out loud.”
“Do you want me to be scared? I thought the fear-of-commitment thing was supposed to be bad.”
“No, of course not,” Kris said, inching closer. It was weird talking to Adam when he couldn’t really see him; it was like conversing with an occasionally glinting shadow. “I just expect you to freak out about stuff like that, because you always have. So I never thought you’d be the one to say hey, let’s move in together all of a sudden, before we’d even gotten to our first anniversary. Especially since I haven’t even gotten up the courage to say the word ‘anniversary’ around you yet.”
Adam sighed. “Sorry,” he said. “I’m trying to get better.”
“I can see that,” Kris said, smiling, frustrated that he wasn’t even sure Adam could see it. He reached up to touch his face to compensate. “Tell me about it, then.”
“It just popped into my brain,” Adam said, and Kris felt him shrug his free shoulder. “And the second the idea was there, I knew it was right. I felt stupid for not thinking of it before. It’s like, OK, I didn’t plan it. But I should have. I was just too stupid to think of it in advance.”
“You surprised us both,” Kris said.
“I guess so. But I mean, why not? OK, I guess it was sudden. But you’re at my place all the time anyway, and I already had my semi-episode with the toothbrush -”
“Oh, good grief.”
“Hey,” Adam said, playfully snippy. “I got over it, OK? It wasn’t even that bad. Anyway. So you bring over some more stuff. So you bring over all your stuff, and you never leave. That sounds great.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure? I want you to be sure-sure. Because I know we’re always dealing with me and making sure I’m keeping it together, and, seriously, the fact that you’re willing to put up with it is what makes you so amazing, because I don’t think a lesser man could handle it. I honestly don’t. But still, I want to be sure it’s what you want. If it’s too fast or something, I want you to tell me. You would be the one moving and stuff, and it would make your drive to work -”
“You talk a lot, did you know that?”
Adam snapped his mouth shut, surprised.
And then Kris continued, “do you think when we’re old, we’ll lay in bed together and talk like this? Just like, two gray-haired old dudes, laying in bed, talking about their feelings?”
Adam was quiet for a second, and Kris wished he could see his face. As for himself, he was smirking, suppressing a full grin.
“Are you trying to test me or something?” Adam finally said.
“No,” Kris said. “I was just listening to all your babbling and thinking, I could listen to him ramble like a moron forever. And then it was like, oh, wait, I think I will. And then it made me think of me listening to you be an idiot, but like all wrinkly and with gray hair.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Is that bad?”
“No,” Adam said. He let the arm holding him up go slack and sank into the pillow beneath him. Kris moved forward, leaning over him. “No, it’s not bad. It scared the shit out of me for a second.”
Kris grimaced. “Oh.”
“Just for a second though,” Adam said quickly. “The oh, my God was actually me realizing I wasn’t actually scared. Like, I had one tiny second of panic and then it was gone and the whole rest of me was all, yay, I get to keep him forever! I expected the panic part, but everything after that caught me off-guard.”
Kris laughed quietly. “OK,” he said. “But that was all good stuff.”
“Yeah. Totally good.”
“OK,” Kris said, still smiling, then let his arm relax so he could lay back down at Adam’s shoulder. “Just so we’re on the same page now, then,” he said when he was comfortably settled. “I’m going to move into your apartment, with all my stuff - which includes a whole ton of DVD’s and CD’s that we are now going to have doubles of, a bunch of furniture there isn’t room for, clothes that I will sometimes leave on top of the hamper instead of inside it, and dishes that won’t fit in your cabinets but I really really want to keep because they were a gift from my mom. Also three sweet but crazy women will be there relatively often, and I should warn you that they eat a lot and you wouldn’t even believe the amount of Diet Coke. And I think we should have my parents over for dinner when I get moved in.”
Adam laughed. “It’s not going to work,” he said. “You can’t freak me out. Your mom likes salmon, right?”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m starting to be worried that you’re not sure if I’m being honest. You haven’t really answered the question, you know.”
“I just... don’t want you to feel forced into anything. Or feel like we are constantly having to move forward. I want you to be comfortable.”
“I am,” Adam said. “That’s what I’ve been saying. I want old man Adam and old man Kris. I want that. So like, what’s moving into my apartment compared to that? Just one little thing that we’ll do. Eventually it’ll be like yeah, Kris lives with Adam. What’s new? Of course he does.”
Kris exhaled, and he felt the weight shift inside his mind. The balance fell, from worry to relief. He was convinced. And that meant he was really going to do this.
Really.
“Yeah,” Kris said. “You’re right. Of course. Holy shit.”
“I know,” Adam said, and Kris moved up, searching, finally finding Adam’s mouth with his own and falling into a lazy, drawn-out kiss. Kris hummed as he settled back in at Adam’s side, eyes closed, his mind already starting to drift away now that it had been eased.
“Love you,” he said, and wondered for a second if Adam had been thinking there was going to be sex now, because he was really tired and he thought it was almost dawn now; he honestly couldn’t believe how much they’d talked considering he’d been half asleep just a few minutes ago. And it wasn’t like they hadn’t been busy enough all night, he was already so sore he felt like he’d been in a fight. And had somehow managed to win and lose at the same time.
“I love you,” Adam answered, exhaling, voice low.
And Kris relaxed, melting against the warm sheets and Adam’s warmer body, because that was his sleep imminent voice and that meant that Kris could just let go and drift off, and that was exactly what he wanted to do.
Author: itsmadeofgold
Beta: norosegarden
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1500
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.
Summary: A little extra scene from gogo!Adam AU, which takes place later on the night of Adam's birthday. The boys have some things to talk about.
A/N: I just heard them having this conversation, and realized it should've been part of the last story. Or I just can't let go of these guys. ♥
“Are you sure?” Kris said into the darkness, his voice low, almost a whisper.
They had been quiet for quite a while, but he didn’t think Adam was asleep - he kept moving his feet. Adam slept like the dead and woke up in the same position he went to sleep in most mornings. Any fidgeting meant he was still thinking, and the longer Kris lay there and wondered what was going on in Adam’s mind the more he worried about it.
“Yes,” Adam said, instead of pretending he didn’t know what Kris was asking about.
Kris shifted from his position against Adam’s shoulder, turning onto his side and propping himself up on an elbow. There was little light in the room; just a thin stream of moonlight from the small alley-view window and its reflection in the two mirrors. Adam was all shadow with just a few silvery highlights, his eyes shining in the gloom when he turned them toward Kris.
“Are you sure?” Adam said.
“As long as you are,” Kris said, slowly.
“What do you mean?” Adam turned over to face Kris, propping himself up to mirror him.
“It just seemed so sudden. Did you think about it or did you just... like, want to make a big gesture because I made a big gesture? Because I really, really don’t want it to be that. I’d rather wait, if that’s what it is.”
“No,” Adam said, reaching out a hand to lay on Kris’s hip. “It’s not like that.”
“OK. I’m just saying, I’m giving you an out here if you want it. It won’t hurt my feelings, I swear.”
Adam laughed. “I’m not taking your out. I want you to come live with me, I’m not scared.”
“See, I don’t get that,” Kris said. “Why not? You flipped your shit the first time I tried to leave your place in one of your t-shirts, and it took a month to get you to say the word ‘boyfriend’ out loud.”
“Do you want me to be scared? I thought the fear-of-commitment thing was supposed to be bad.”
“No, of course not,” Kris said, inching closer. It was weird talking to Adam when he couldn’t really see him; it was like conversing with an occasionally glinting shadow. “I just expect you to freak out about stuff like that, because you always have. So I never thought you’d be the one to say hey, let’s move in together all of a sudden, before we’d even gotten to our first anniversary. Especially since I haven’t even gotten up the courage to say the word ‘anniversary’ around you yet.”
Adam sighed. “Sorry,” he said. “I’m trying to get better.”
“I can see that,” Kris said, smiling, frustrated that he wasn’t even sure Adam could see it. He reached up to touch his face to compensate. “Tell me about it, then.”
“It just popped into my brain,” Adam said, and Kris felt him shrug his free shoulder. “And the second the idea was there, I knew it was right. I felt stupid for not thinking of it before. It’s like, OK, I didn’t plan it. But I should have. I was just too stupid to think of it in advance.”
“You surprised us both,” Kris said.
“I guess so. But I mean, why not? OK, I guess it was sudden. But you’re at my place all the time anyway, and I already had my semi-episode with the toothbrush -”
“Oh, good grief.”
“Hey,” Adam said, playfully snippy. “I got over it, OK? It wasn’t even that bad. Anyway. So you bring over some more stuff. So you bring over all your stuff, and you never leave. That sounds great.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure? I want you to be sure-sure. Because I know we’re always dealing with me and making sure I’m keeping it together, and, seriously, the fact that you’re willing to put up with it is what makes you so amazing, because I don’t think a lesser man could handle it. I honestly don’t. But still, I want to be sure it’s what you want. If it’s too fast or something, I want you to tell me. You would be the one moving and stuff, and it would make your drive to work -”
“You talk a lot, did you know that?”
Adam snapped his mouth shut, surprised.
And then Kris continued, “do you think when we’re old, we’ll lay in bed together and talk like this? Just like, two gray-haired old dudes, laying in bed, talking about their feelings?”
Adam was quiet for a second, and Kris wished he could see his face. As for himself, he was smirking, suppressing a full grin.
“Are you trying to test me or something?” Adam finally said.
“No,” Kris said. “I was just listening to all your babbling and thinking, I could listen to him ramble like a moron forever. And then it was like, oh, wait, I think I will. And then it made me think of me listening to you be an idiot, but like all wrinkly and with gray hair.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Is that bad?”
“No,” Adam said. He let the arm holding him up go slack and sank into the pillow beneath him. Kris moved forward, leaning over him. “No, it’s not bad. It scared the shit out of me for a second.”
Kris grimaced. “Oh.”
“Just for a second though,” Adam said quickly. “The oh, my God was actually me realizing I wasn’t actually scared. Like, I had one tiny second of panic and then it was gone and the whole rest of me was all, yay, I get to keep him forever! I expected the panic part, but everything after that caught me off-guard.”
Kris laughed quietly. “OK,” he said. “But that was all good stuff.”
“Yeah. Totally good.”
“OK,” Kris said, still smiling, then let his arm relax so he could lay back down at Adam’s shoulder. “Just so we’re on the same page now, then,” he said when he was comfortably settled. “I’m going to move into your apartment, with all my stuff - which includes a whole ton of DVD’s and CD’s that we are now going to have doubles of, a bunch of furniture there isn’t room for, clothes that I will sometimes leave on top of the hamper instead of inside it, and dishes that won’t fit in your cabinets but I really really want to keep because they were a gift from my mom. Also three sweet but crazy women will be there relatively often, and I should warn you that they eat a lot and you wouldn’t even believe the amount of Diet Coke. And I think we should have my parents over for dinner when I get moved in.”
Adam laughed. “It’s not going to work,” he said. “You can’t freak me out. Your mom likes salmon, right?”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m starting to be worried that you’re not sure if I’m being honest. You haven’t really answered the question, you know.”
“I just... don’t want you to feel forced into anything. Or feel like we are constantly having to move forward. I want you to be comfortable.”
“I am,” Adam said. “That’s what I’ve been saying. I want old man Adam and old man Kris. I want that. So like, what’s moving into my apartment compared to that? Just one little thing that we’ll do. Eventually it’ll be like yeah, Kris lives with Adam. What’s new? Of course he does.”
Kris exhaled, and he felt the weight shift inside his mind. The balance fell, from worry to relief. He was convinced. And that meant he was really going to do this.
Really.
“Yeah,” Kris said. “You’re right. Of course. Holy shit.”
“I know,” Adam said, and Kris moved up, searching, finally finding Adam’s mouth with his own and falling into a lazy, drawn-out kiss. Kris hummed as he settled back in at Adam’s side, eyes closed, his mind already starting to drift away now that it had been eased.
“Love you,” he said, and wondered for a second if Adam had been thinking there was going to be sex now, because he was really tired and he thought it was almost dawn now; he honestly couldn’t believe how much they’d talked considering he’d been half asleep just a few minutes ago. And it wasn’t like they hadn’t been busy enough all night, he was already so sore he felt like he’d been in a fight. And had somehow managed to win and lose at the same time.
“I love you,” Adam answered, exhaling, voice low.
And Kris relaxed, melting against the warm sheets and Adam’s warmer body, because that was his sleep imminent voice and that meant that Kris could just let go and drift off, and that was exactly what he wanted to do.