Hmmm...

Sep 25, 2004 22:06

So, i'm not exactly sure just how i'm supposed to feel now. Well, let me start off at the beginning. Awhile ago, i asked kailon out. we get along well as friends, and we were getting along really well as bf/gf. we were a good couple, i thought, and we were having so much fun. i really liked her. but, when school started this year, something happened where we both misunderstood each other in confusion, and we ended up not being able to get in touch with each other, so we both thought that we were avoiding each other. anyway, when we finally got this mess all cleared up, we hadnt been seeing much of each other, and we still did not see each other very much with our schedules. well, it went on like this, and on, and on, and it pretty much became clear that, while we were technically still going out, we were not in essence. it was just a matter of who would break up with whom. you know, to make it official and all. well, finally, yesterday, kailon said that we should stop dating because we never got to see each other. i was kinda happy about that, because then we could go back to being friends without the awkwardness of before. i even picked her up and spun her around about ten times to ensure that she knew that i intended to remain friends and not end up not speaking to each other. well, that was yesterday. today, she tells me that she is going out with glen. he asked her out at the football game. i know that i shouldnt be upset about this, but i kinda am. i mean, isnt there like some amount of time that youre supposed to wait to go out with someone after you end a relationship? i didnt express this to her or anything. i acted excited and even congratulated her numerous times. but i cant help but feel that all i am is something expendable. here one day and gone the next, and no one even notices. what if thats what i am? well, i obviously cant express this to her, because i want us to remain friends, but it just doesnt feel too great. i wonder if i should be upset with glen. i know that i shouldnt, because hes a nice guy and all, but i mean, how low is that. you just dont go and ask someone out the day after they end a relationship. isnt that called 'catching them on the rebound'? well, in any case, whats done is done, and i guess i should just get over it. its just that i needed to vent or share my feelings or something. ok. bye.
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