(no subject)

[itslindseyyyy]

i want to smoke cigarettes in bed
wear my hair messy
& my eyeliner even messier
i want to dance with my eyes closed
and meet a boy with dark hair
touch his arm when i say hello
& feel his eyes on my body
as if we were more than strangers
i want to sleep in the afternoons
spend my mornings reading
in coffee shops that smell like incense
& spend my nights on cool grass
barefoot & laughing
i want to be mystery and fantasy
a person made up of pieces
collarbone and eyelashes
wrists and hipbones and freckles
& the curve in the small of my back

.
.
.

i want you to know who i am
but never know enough
i want you to notice when i throw
my head back & laugh
loud enough for you to hear
(& just loud enough for you
to notice that i am not
even noticing you.)
i want you to stare and wonder
to know and understand

.
.
.

i want something new.