Sustainable Memories!

[itslikenature]

Title:  Sustainable Memories
Challenge:  The Highwayman - Loreena McKinnett
Media:  Original Fiction
Rating:  M
Notes/Warnings:  Some angst.  I wrote this for the weekly music challenge at storytellersong.




 Sustainable Memories

The clouds rolled across the moors casting purple shadows as the day came to a close. It was late in the afternoon and I could see her taking the linens down from the line behind the inn. I had sought shelter behind the stables near the inn and I had fallen against a pile of wood, making too much noise as one piece tumbled to the ground.

I watched as she pulled the last linens down and placed them in the heavy wicker basket, picking it up and securing it against her hip as she began slowly walking toward the stables. Her long pale blue dress danced in the evening air as she walked cautiously toward my hiding place. I tried to get up and get to the other side of the stables, but I was too weak. I had lost too much blood.

I fell back down and looked up to see the russet color of the sky in the west, and felt the chill that was blowing in from the moors. I didn’t know what would happen when she found me. I just hoped she didn’t alert anyone to my presence.

When she stole a glance around the side of the stables, she dropped her basket to the ground and stifled back a scream, covering her mouth with her hand to prevent any noise.

That was the first time I saw her. Her auburn hair was beautiful, and her skin was a creamy white like new fallen snow at dusk. But it was her black eyes, those eyes, that bore into me and would not, could not turn away from me.

She approached me like I was a wounded animal, not too quickly, timidly with every step, until she at last reached my side. She slowly knelt beside me, taking her hand from her mouth and reaching out to remove my hand that was clutching at the wound in my side.

"What happened to you?" she whispered, and her voice shook with fear.

"Does it really matter?" I replied, as I felt the warmth of her hand on mine.

She pulled my hand away and pulled my shirt up to reveal the source of the crimson stains on it and in my hands. Her eyes became wide and I saw concern in her expression.

"It was a sword, wasn’t it? How did it happen?" she asked, again meeting my gaze.

"A disagreement, mostly, over a certain maiden’s honor," I said, feeling particularly ashamed of the predicament that had lead to this moment.

Why I felt that way was beyond me. I’d not committed the act of which I had been accused, but that didn’t stop me from feeling ashamed of the situation in the presences of this young woman. I knew nothing of her, but for some reason it was important for her to know that I was an honorable man.

The blush that rose in her cheeks almost matched the tint now staining her hands and it made me feel even worse. But she pushed aside her impression of me and only saw me, for the moment, as a wounded man.

"Come. I need to get you inside so I can tend to this wound. It looks as though it’s a clean cut and if we can get the bleeding to stop, you should recover soon."

She helped me to me feet and we began walking toward the inn. I didn’t have anything to lose. I wasn’t able to go anywhere but I hoped that her helping me was not going to cause her grief. I was grateful for her aid, but I felt a sense of needing to protect her too.

"Where are we going?" I asked, as we stopped at the back door of the inn.

"I’m taking you to a room upstairs," she said, looking inside as she opened the door to make sure no one would see us.

We made it quietly upstairs and to a door that looked as though it hadn’t been touched in years. There were cobwebs stretching along the top of the door and dust covered it like a second coat of paint.

Inside, the bed was made and covered with an old quilt. It too looked like it hadn’t been occupied for quite some time. It looked like it had just been closed off and forgotten about.

The young woman was looking at me, trying to assess the best way to take care of my wound, but it still took me by surprise when she said, "I need you to take off your shirt and jacket," she said, softly.

"Okay," I said, as I began pulling my coat off but she became somewhat impatient as I fumbled with my shirt so as soon as I had it unbuttoned, she pushed it from my shoulders letting it fall to the floor.

I could feel her eyes as they roamed over my exposed body, only briefly before she became aware that I was watching her and snapped her attention back to my wound that needed attention.

"Lie down and apply pressure to the wound with this," she said, pulling out a pillowcase from the chest of drawers.

I did as she suggested and watched as she slipped out of the room. She came back quickly with a basin of water and a small bag. She proceeded to begin cleaning my wound and I took note of how carefully and delicately she went about her task.

"You know you shouldn’t be helping strange men like this. What if I were to cause you harm? What would your father say?" I asked, hoping it would lead her to tell me more about herself.

She didn’t answer for a long time and I noticed that tears were building in the corners of her eyes, but she swallowed hard to force them away.

"It would be different if I had a father that cared. To my father, I am simply a way out of debt. My body is merely a vessel to be used for another man’s pleasure. I am to be cast into the deepest pits of hell on the next full moon, when I am wed to a barbarian of a man who reeks of ale, has black and decaying teeth, and looks like a mongrel," she said, barely above a whisper and I saw her tremble slightly at the thought of what she must soon endure.

"I don’t understand. You are his flesh and blood. Why would he do such a thing?"

"He owes the man money for supplies that he has gotten for the inn and he can’t pay him, so I’m the next best thing," she said, as she gently wiped away the remaining blood from my stomach and side.

It was hard to keep the bile from seeping into my mouth as I thought of the man she had described and the wretched things he would do to her. She was a beautiful woman. More lovely than any I had seen and if what she claimed was true, it would be like someone squashing a white blooming rose into the dust of the earth.

I shook my head to relieve my mind of these horrid thoughts and focused again on her.

"This room. How is it that you’ve brought me here and expect no one to find me?" I asked looking around the room again.

The candle she had lit was casting eerie shadows about and even I felt somewhat uncomfortable there.

"No, one comes to this room, not anymore. It has been closed off for years. It was the room of the former innkeeper’s daughter. She would wait her for her lover, a highwayman, to ride up the road which can be seen clearly in the moonlight. She waited for him to return to her one night, but instead they both meet their fate and died horrible deaths, or so the legend goes," she said, looking me in the eyes.

I saw a sadness that almost broke my heart dwelling within her black eyes. She believed the tale she had just shared with me.

"Why are you saddened by a tale such as this?" I asked.

"If it were true and these two did share such a love, it would be unlike anything I have ever known. What a beautiful idea to love someone so much that you would die for them-or without them for that matter. I’m afraid this type of devotion no longer exists," she said sadly.

"What makes you so certain that this type of love doesn’t exist?"

"I’ve never seen it," she replied as she opened the bag she had brought with her to the room.

"What about your mother and father?" I asked curiously.

"My mother died when I was very young but as far as I can remember, her nights were filled with tears and dreams that never came true. She was forced to marry my father and he never loved her."

I sat back and reflected on the things she had shared with me. It was true that I was in pain, but the pain she had caused to flare inside of me, was much worse. I had always believed that love was real and strong and had hoped that I might one day find such as she had described between the innkeeper’s daughter and the highwayman.

When she had finished applying an ointment to my wound, she began bandaging it, reaching under my back to pull the bandage through. Her hands were soft and warm against my skin and I had to admit, I liked the way it felt, the way it made me feel.

She tied the bandage on my stomach and gently rubbed the area around the wound, rubbing in the remaining ointment. I watched her slender fingers caress me and reached out to touch her hand.

"Thank you for helping me. My name is Riley McClarson," I said, searching her face.

"I’m Aislinn McCrea. It’s nice to meet you, Riley," she spoke softly.

"And likewise," I replied, rubbing her hand gently with mine.

"Um, I know you must be hungry. I will go fetch you something from the kitchen and return shortly," she said standing up to leave.

"You will return?" I questioned, almost afraid that if she walked out the door, I’d never see her again.

"I will return. I promise," she said, as she turned and left the room.

The candle was burning low when Aislinn returned but I could still see her black eyes shining brightly as she reentered the room.

"Have you eaten tonight?" I asked, sitting up a bit on the bed.

"No. No, I haven’t," she said, placing a small bowl and a cloth on the night stand.

"Then you will eat first," I told her, motioning toward the food.

"I will eat later," she said.

"No, I insist. Please?"

She looked at me with a puzzled look in her eyes, her head slightly cocked to the side, then took the bowl and sipped some broth from it. Then she broke off a small piece of bread and picked at it eating a few pieces as she looked on seeming to be in deep thought.

I took the bowl and drank from it, then ate the bread she had so graciously provided. When we had both finished, she sat at the foot of the bed and opened a small cloth she had hidden in her apron. Inside was a small tart filled with a warm jam filling. She broke it in half and offered me a piece.

"This is one of my favorites. The cook always gives me an extra when she makes them."

"How can I ever repay you for your kindness?" I asked, eating the delicious treat.

"There is no need to thank me. I am simply doing what needed to be done," she said, getting up and walking to the door. "I’ll check on you in the morning. I hope you rest well tonight."

"I will. Thank you," I said as she left.

That night it was difficult to sleep as I thought back on all that had happened today. But my thoughts continued to return to the auburn haired beauty that had offered me such kindness.

The next several days were much better and my strength was returning to me a little more with each day that passed. I had been at the inn for three days and each day, Aislinn would come to visit me, bringing food and water for me, but the time that I enjoyed most was the time she spent with me talking.

On the evening of the fifth day, she slipped back into my room, after she had gotten ready for bed. She brought with her a book of her favorite poems and asked me if I would like her to read them to me.

"If you’re not too tired, or if you are I can come back tomorrow," she said.

"No. Please stay," I answered, grasping her by the hand gently and pulling her down to sit beside me on the bed.

Her hair was down and it flowed like dark silk around her shoulders and down her back. The white night gown she wore was modest, but left so much to my imagination that I found it most difficult to concentrate on the sound coming from her lovely lips. But out of courtesy, as she began to recite one of the poems I listened intently to every word.

The shadows bend abruptly around the rose’s petals,
But the sunlight pierces straight through.
This is how my love feels.
As I bestow it wholly upon you.

I will not hide it as the night tends to do,
For I must pronounce it and nurture it,
Watching it flourish and bud each day anew,
Yes this is what my heart demands so true.

So press thine ear to my warm bosom,
Listen to my heart’s rhythm as I construe,
My passionate melody of want and desire,
And we shall bid our loneliness adieu.

"That was beautiful," I whispered softly unable to refrain from drawing nearer to her sweet perfume.

"It is one of my favorites," she confessed, blushing in the dim light cast about by the candles.

I pushed her hair off of her shoulder and took pleasure in seeing the delicate contour of the skin on her neck.

"Aislinn," I spoke slowly, whispering her name like it was the salve to heal all wounds both inside and out.

Her breath caught in her throat and I could swear she stopped breathing for a few moments as I slid my hand to the precious, warm, inviting nape of her neck and pulled her to me gently. It is true that we had only known each other for a few days, but the way I felt right then, was as if she and I had been long acquainted and I desired her for many days.

I moved down the bed, so that I was sitting beside her. I placed my hand alongside her cheek and let my thumb trace the outline of her tender lips. As my eyes met hers for the first time tonight, I saw a fire burning deep within.

Inching closer, only to pause with only a fraction of space between our lips, I hesitated making sure that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. When she closed her eyes and leaned back slightly into my palm that was on her neck, I lowered my lips to hers and for the first time tasted the suppleness of her pink lips.

Love is a beautiful thing, and making love is a cherished act between a man and a woman, but when desire is also a partner, the fire does rage inside one’s breast and in their loins.

I pulled her against me as we stretched out on the bed, her lying against the side that was not injured. Her book fell to the floor as her hands, unsteady still, touched the smooth texture of my chest and I could not help the low utterance that came forth from my own lips.

Climbing off of the bed, I came around to the side on which she rested, pulling her to her feet. I slowly began unbuttoning her gown and loosened it, letting it fall to the floor. I admired her body in the dim light, watching each curve react as I touched it-explored it.

She loosened my pants and they too, were soon on the floor and I was laying her back against the bed. I held her in my arms as we made love, bringing forth immense pleasure and satisfaction for us both, and in the afterglow of our love I held her against my chest and caressed her silken skin.

"Thank you," she whispered, and I felt the warm trail of tears trickle down my chest.

"Aislinn. What’s wrong?" I asked, pulling her face up to meet me.

"I just wanted to thank you for showing me what it’s like to be loved gently and tenderly. I may never know that feeling again."

Her words cut through my heart almost with as much pain as I had felt from the blade that had thrust into my side a few days ago.

"You are such a beautiful woman. You deserve nothing but tenderness and love," I said to her quietly.

"Thank you," was all she said, as she closed her eyes and fell asleep in my arms.

The next morning she was gone when I awoke. I washed my face and hands in the basin positioned on the stand in the corner of the room and looked at myself in the mirror. I knew that the time was fast approaching that I must leave, but something about that made me feel forlorn.

I shaved my face and tidied up the room waiting until Aislinn came to see me. It was getting late in the morning and I began to worry. I was pacing the floor, when the door finally opened and she stepped inside.

She looked even more beautiful today that she had when I first saw her. She was glowing like a light had been lit inside of her.

"I was starting to worry," I said, walking over to her.

"I know. You were probably getting very hungry. I’m sorry I’m late, but I had to wait until it was clear for me to come up here," she said, sitting a bowl of gruel and a chunk of bread on the night stand.

"I wasn’t concerned about the food. I was worried about you," I said, pulling her up to stand before me.

She looked away and would not meet my gaze. I couldn’t tell if she was regretful of what we had shared last night or if something else was troubling her.

"Oh. The cook has mentioned to my father that several items of food have disappeared and he is getting suspicious."

"I know. I must leave tomorrow," I said quietly dropping my hands to my sides.

"I know. You must eat now and I will return for the bowl shortly. I have to go," she said, making a hasty retreat from the room.

The food was of little interest to me. I knew what my heart was saying to me, but how I could carry it out was another matter all together. I sat for a long time, processing the situation over and over in my mind, but each time I came up with two conclusions, but the latter always won out.

When Aislinn returned several hours later, she looked at the uneaten food, kept her head down, and would not look at me, as she silently took the food and bread back to the kitchen. I waited the rest of the day for her to return, but she did not. It wasn’t until almost midnight that I finally heard her footsteps and saw her appear in the doorway.

"Aislinn. I waited and you never came," I said, getting up from the bed and going to her.

"I just wanted to tell you goodbye and tell you that there will be a horse waiting on you in the morning behind the stable. Go down the stairs and out the back door just like....just like we came in and you can be on your way. I’m sorry it’s so late, but I just couldn’t let you leave without saying goodbye."

Again, she refused to look at me. So I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to my chest. We were silent, neither of us speaking, for words would have been too painful for either of us.

When she finally pulled away, my bare chest was wet with her tears and I wanted nothing more than to dry them and keep her from hurting, but I didn’t know what to say. I watched as she slipped silently back out of the room, the only sound was that of the lonely latch as it separated us from one another.

The next morning the horse was exactly where she said it would be and as I mounted and turned the horse to the west, I couldn’t help but wonder what fate would befall the beautiful Aislinn.

I rode hard all day, trying to put distance between my feelings, but by late afternoon, my head no longer governed me, I was now being lead by my heart and it demanded that I return to the inn once more. It was a quarter moon and just enough light shown down for me to find my way, but even a night as pitched black as the abyss could not have kept me from returning.

Tying my horse up back of the stables, I ran to the inn and slipped up the stairs to the room where I had stayed for a week. It was there that I found her, lying in the bed where I had slept, where we had loved each other.

The pillow was wet with her salty tears and her lovely face was streaked with red where she had cried herself to sleep. I touched her shoulder and she stirred, but she was not startled when she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

She sat up and I grasped her, squeezing her tightly to my chest.

"Riley why have you returned?" she asked, through a strained voice.

"I could not leave behind a piece of my heart. I had to come and retrieve it so that it might be with me always. I love you, Aislinn. From the moment I saw you at the stables, I’ve loved you. You must come with me."

"Riley, but I thought....."

"You thought what my love?"

"The night we....we were together and I thanked you. Why didn’t you tell me then? I thought you just used me to fulfil your needs and desires."

"I was filled with desire, but only for you. But I was also hurt when you told me ‘thank you,’ and I should have spoken up then, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want what we shared to be just something you did to deprive the barbarian of the pleasure of knowing you for the first time."

"No. It was not for him it was for me. I wanted to feel loved for once in my life by someone I loved. I wanted you to love me, Riley, as much as I loved you."

"Then why didn’t you tell me?"

"It seemed an impossible dream for you to feel the same way as I, so I suffered silently and let you go, knowing that my memories would have to sustain me the rest of my days," she said, weeping in my arms.

"No. The only memories you shall carry are the ones we make from day to day together. Come. We must hurry. You will leave this place with me tonight and we will start a life together."

"Oh Riley," she said, finding her way to my lips.

"Come my love, let us leave this wretched life behind for a better one," I said, taking her by the hand and leading her down the stairs and to the stables.

We mounted the horse and rode west, but as the distance grew between us and the inn, I glanced back over my shoulder, only to see a ghostly figure of a man, dressed in fine clothes atop a steed, smiling as if he were saying, "Yes son, you’ve done the right thing. Love her with all of your heart and soul and she will do the same for you. This is a love that will stand the test of time."
Then he vanished down the road and I drew Aislinn closer to me as we rode into the night, into our future.