La Passion Est La Mienne!!

[itslikenature]

Title:  La Passion Est La Mienne
Prompt:  Comptine D'un Autre Ete - Yann Tiersen
Media:  Original Fiction
Rating:  PG-13
Notes/Warnings:  This one is much longer than anything I've done in a while.  I hope you enjoy it. :) I wrote this for the weekly music challenge at storytellersong.




La Passion Est La Mienne

I scurried through the hallway, trying desperately to avoid my mother, but she caught up with me before I had an opportunity to escape into the fresh air and sunshine of the courtyard.

"Ellena, I have told you how I feel on this subject and I insist that you stop this game you are playing. Marcus Ashby has expressed his desire to visit you this afternoon and I am hoping that he will soon become your suitor."

"Ma’ma, you cannot possibly expect me to be interested in such a man. He is, well, he is old. Why it could not be William Barnsby, or Jonathan Bellows who were coming to call on me, I will never know, but I simply have no interest in Mr. Ashby."

"My dear child," ma’ma said, clasping her hands in front of her, "Oh, what am I saying. You are no long a child and that is the problem. You are a young lady now and you must look at the future. Mr. Ashby is not old. He is far from old at the age of twenty-eight, he is just very mature, which is something you are not accustomed to, I know, but give him a chance. He seems sincere in his desire to get to know you."

"Ma’ma...."

"No, Ellena, you must listen to me. I have worried about you and your sister from the moment your father, God rest his soul, passed on and now I see a future for you. Mr. Ashby and his family are very well off. He and his younger brother will be the heirs to their family’s estate and there is enough for both of them."

"Why could his brother not be the one then who comes to call? George is quite handsome and only twenty."

"Ellena. That is enough. You will entertain Marcus Ashby this afternoon for tea and I expect you to be the lady that I know you can be," she finally concluded and turned, disappearing down the hall and into the banquet room.

I wandered out into the courtyard and sat on the bench under the maples watching the birds flitter to and fro. But their melodious chirps did not reach my ears as I thought about the miserable afternoon I would have with Mr. Ashby.

I managed to stay busy most of the day, but had gone to my bedchamber after lunch to get ready for the afternoon.

"Ellena you had better be ready," my sister Anna giggled, as she walked into our bedchamber.

"Or what? Ma’ma will have me flogged?" I said, laying the brush down on the chest of drawers, before turning to look at her.

"No, she would not dare! No, you must be ready for the dashing Mr. Ashby when he arrives."

"And what makes you an expert on the male gender, my little sister?"

"Ellena, just because you are nineteen, does not mean you know everything. Besides, I have watched him from a distance on occasion and he is much more suitable for you than his brother, George. George is too flamboyant for his own good, but Marcus seems endearing."

"Well then, that is what I need in a man, old and endearing," I said, feeling overcome with self pity.

"Look at you now. Do not be filled with gloom. I want you to try to look at him as if he were a stranger, someone you have never met, and read him, giving him the benefit of the doubt."

"All right. I will for you, Anna, but do not tell ma’ma that I am even looking at him," I said, offering her a furtive glance and smiled.

"There then. You go have a lovely afternoon and you can tell me all about it tonight after dinner," Anna said, giving me a hug before pinching my cheeks to bring about the perfect hint of a blush.

Anna and I parted company as I walked down the hall to the grand staircase. I descended and went to the parlor to wait. The wait however, was not long at all, for Mr. Ashby arrived a few minutes early.

I heard him being greeted by the houseman at the door, then listened to his heavy footsteps as he entered the room.

"Miss Ellena, Mr. Marcus Ashby is here to see you," the houseman announced.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Ashby," I said, standing from my chair in the parlor and offering him my hand.

"Good afternoon, Miss Ellena. You look exceptionally lovely today," he said, smiling and taking my hand in his.

He did have a nice smile, I thought, and his hand was firm and strong. His thick dark eyebrows and dark hair were also a complement to his features, all in all he was a ruggedly handsome man. I began pulling my hand away when I realized just how long I had been staring at his features. This was all Anna’s fault, if she had not planted that seed in my mind earlier.

"Thank you, Mr. Ashby. Would you like have a seat and we can have a cup of tea?" I asked, extending my hand toward the sofa.

"Yes, thank you, but you must call me Marcus. I am afraid I must insist," he said, and I noticed his voice was husky and robust, even as he laughed quietly.

We sat down on the sofa and I turned to face him with my knees angled in his direction. The servant brought in the tea tray and placed it on the table in front of us.

"Mr.....I mean Marcus, would you like cream in your tea?" I asked, as I reached for the lovely porcelain teapot. It was one of my favorites, a vintage piece that had been handed down from my grandmother.

"No. No cream for me, just a bit of sugar."

I smiled as I poured the tea and wondered if he felt as awkward as I did. We had known each other for two years as acquaintances, but had never been in a situation where we had to keep each other company.

When I looked up, to hand him his cup of tea, I saw that he had been studying me and was smiling in return. Being this close to him, I was able to assess the true color of his eyes and noted that they were the deepest blue I had ever seen.

"Thank you," he said, taking the cup from my hand, but lingering just a moment as our hands touched.

"You are welcome. So, where shall be begin? Why not tell me about your family? Are they well?"

"Yes, thank you very much for asking."

And so our conversation was started. When we had finished our tea, I took Marcus on a tour of the grounds, around the pond, through the garden, and back to the terrace where we sat and rested. I had not noticed the time of day, until I felt a chill in the late afternoon air and found myself shivering.

"I have so enjoyed our talk today. Oh, Ellena, you are shivering. Here take my coat," Marcus offered, standing immediately to remove his coat and placed it around my shoulders.

"I am sorry. I did not realize it was getting late and the breeze was so cool. Thank you," I said, wrapping myself in his coat as if it were a shawl.

I could smell his scent when he placed the coat around me and found it very pleasing. I wanted to inhale it more deeply, but could not do such a thing in front of him, without risking offending him, or making myself look foolish.

"Look. There is that a blue breasted grackle?" I asked, pointing to the tree at the end of the garden.

When he had turned his attention toward the nonexistent bird, I lowered my head, leaning toward my shoulder so I could smell the inside of the coat and inhaled deeply, letting his scent waft around me like the most pungent perfume.

I was quick to reposition myself, however, before he noticed what I had done.

"I must have missed it," he said, sounding disappointed.

"Well, there is always another," I replied, and I felt the heat fill my cheeks as I blushed.

"I would like to see you again, Ellena. May I call again tomorrow?"

"I suppose so," I said, standing up and handing him his coat back.

We walked back inside the house through the terrace door and he followed me to the staircase where we stood for a moment.

"I will see you then tomorrow afternoon, if you wish?"

"I would like that very much. I did enjoy the afternoon. Thank you," I said, offering him my hand, which he pulled gingerly to him then placed a soft kiss upon it before letting it go.

"Until tomorrow then, my lady," he said, smiling a wickedly handsome smile before turning and descending down the stairs.

I watched him and waved one last time from my perch on the landing as he retrieved his hat at the front door and left. I was still leaning against the railing, when I realized that Anna was coming down the hall toward me. I turned and made my way quickly toward my bedchamber, closing the door softly behind me.

But it opened momentarily and she burst into the room smiling and giggling like a little school girl, "You cannot escape me that easily Ellena Rose Winthrope. I expect to know every detail of this afternoon."

"Then I shall not reveal a single detail to you, my dear sister because you said we would talk tonight and I am not ready to speak to you of this afternoon just yet."

"Then something tells me it went splendidly. Otherwise, you would be throwing things around this room and telling the world how much you despised the, let me see, what did you call him? Ah, yes, the old man," she said, in a fit of giggles.

"Anna, so help me, I am warning you," I replied, looking sternly at her.

"Fine then. I will see you in this very room after dinner and you will tell me everything," she said, before turning and skipping out of the room.

It is true that she was only sixteen years of age, but sometimes she reminded me of a busy old lady with nothing better to do than meddle in the affairs of others.

I washed my hands and face and prepared for dinner. Ma’ma was a stickler about being on time, so I made it to the dinner table just as the servant rang the dinner bell.

We ate for the most part in silence, just Anna, myself, and ma’ma, which was fine with me because I had many things to replay in my mind. After dinner, we retired to the parlor where Anna took up a book to read and I sat down at the piano to play a lovely, melancholy piece while I let my mind drift back to the events of the afternoon.

I excused myself early and went to bed, so when Anna came in to talk, I pretended to be asleep. I was not ready to talk with her yet about how I felt. I was still trying to piece things together for myself.

The next several days went much the same. Marcus came to visit me every day, we had tea, we strolled in the garden or on the grounds, he told me stories of places he had seen and people he had met. And whether I wanted to admit it or not, I found myself greatly amused with my new companion and was expectant and full of anticipation awaiting his next visit.

The days passed and I realized that Marcus had been calling upon me for exactly one month now. It was a balmy afternoon and I suggested we take lemonade to the terrace and sit in the shade of the maples and willow tree that grew along side the manor between it and the pond.

"That would be perfect. I have just received a new book of sonnets from London and I would love to read some to you this afternoon," Marcus said as we proceeded to the terrace.

I sat down on the wooden bench opposite of him, as he took his seat in a wooden lounge. He reached inside his coat and retrieved the new book from his breast pocket. As he opened the small leather bound book, its pages crackled with newness. I was eager to hear him read, knowing how much I had come to enjoy hearing his voice.

His demeanor was relaxed and I noticed his features were nicely enhanced by the amount of light straining through the trees that overhung the terrace. I had grown rather fond of watching his handsome lineament as we spent time together, but today there was something even more magnificent about him.

"Marcus, I am waiting. Shall we begin?"

I asked almost impatiently, but he seemed to be studying the book intently. His eyes quickly darted to mine and I saw the slightest trace of something I had never seen before in our casual meetings, though I was unable to put my finger on what exactly the look entailed, that is until he began reading.

"If Only For A Day, The Passion I Beheld, a book of sonnets by Sir Drew Baltimore," he glanced at me over the top of the small book and then back down at the pages.

I waited almost breathlessly for him to begin, but he hesitated as if to give me a chance to escape the reading. But my curiosity was now aflame as I searched his eyes then rested my gaze upon his lips in anticipation of the first words.

He cleared his throat and began, "Thine heart is weary young maiden divine, so rest here with me tonight and be mine, I will become one with thee as we intertwine, and our hearts will beat as one when our souls combine," he read, and I suddenly felt very warm.

I am sure that my face was of the brightest crimson hue, but I could not look away from him. He paused though and seemed to be waiting for me to say something, but he did not look up to meet my gaze. But I wanted to hear more, so I whispered, "Please continue."

"Yes, let me read from another. Let me gaze upon thy beauty, but let it not be shielded, for me your lover it must be yielded."

His voice was low and husky, yet soft and alluring. I needed to hear more of his words and I found myself wanting-no, yearning to have him speaking these words to me. I had never felt this way before. No young man had ever thrilled me so, and I chastised myself immediately for thinking so lowly of Marcus before.

He lowered the book, our eyes met, and he gazed at me with such regard. I felt as if he were looking at me and seeing things no one had ever seen before. Marcus was no boy and for that I was eternally grateful as I took in the realm of his maturity and manhood.

He lay the book down beside him and removed his coat. The light emerging from the trees danced upon his chest and shoulders and I found myself imagining what he looked like underneath, when disrobed. I was feverish now, and quickly pulled my small fan from inside my gloves that lay beside me. I had to fan myself to keep from feeling faint, but I needed more.

"Marcus, please continue," I urged and again scoured his features drinking in every marvelous strength that I found there.

"With the stars above us as our only cover, we move through the shadows to discover, each one baring all to their lover," he slowly fixed his gaze upon me once again and I noticed tiny droplets of perspiration forming above his dark brow.

I was most certain that he was nervous for speaking to me with such frank openness, but I was enthralled to say the least and most definitely ashamed of the thoughts that were racing through my mind with each word that flowed from his tender lips.

The heat I was feeling was intense. I had never felt this way before, but I needed to hear him speak to me again, for I was certain now, that his words were being spoken directly to me. So I said, "Marcus, would you like to join me on the bench, while you continue?" as I slid over slightly.

"I would love to join you," he said getting up and coming over to where I was seated.

I took a deep breath when his arm brushed against mine as he lifted the book to begin reading again.

"Thy bosom of tender and milky flesh, enraptures me with its scent so fresh, for it is there I cling and dare to enmesh," he stopped reading abruptly and turned toward me, "From the first day I came to call upon you, I have wanted to ask you something very personal. May I?"

My heart was racing and my palms were sweating, but I managed to answer him, "Yes."

"May I call you, Ellie?" he asked, then reached out to trace his finger over my cheek.

"Ellie. I like the sound of that. Yes you may call me, Ellie," I whispered, unable to make a sound above the whisper.

"Shall I read one more sonnet for you then Ellie, before I have to leave?"

"Please do, Marcus."

"Passion is for me like life, I need it to survive, and being near you this closely, makes this passion thrive."

The sound of his voice, feeling him so close to me, and looking at him from this angle made me feel so alive. He had awakened within me feelings and desires that were so strong and real, but I knew not how to quench them.

"I...."

"Ellie, forgive my boldness, but I must say that you have the most beautiful eyes and brilliant smile that I have ever beheld."

"Marcus, why thank you."

"I know it is getting late and I must go now. I hope you will receive me again tomorrow?"

"Yes, yes of course I will," I said, as we both stood.

I watched him exit the terrace as he told me goodbye and disappeared around the side of the manor to the front where his horse would be waiting. When I was certain that he was out of sight, I ran inside, down the hallway, and into my bedchamber. Once inside, I flung myself on my bed and closed my eyes trying to memorize each and every word he had read to me.

"Ellena, what are you doing?" Anna asked as she entered the room.

I had managed to avoid her questions over the past few weeks since Marcus had been calling, but today I had to speak with someone and who better than my trusted sister and companion.

She lay down on the bed beside me and I turned to her, grasping her hands between us.

"You must swear to me as a sister and my best friend that you will never reveal what I am about to tell you."

"I do. I swear."

"He is not only the most handsome man in all the provinces. He is also the most romantic and mature. He read to me from a new book of sonnets today, things of unspeakable beauty and intimacy. I have never felt this way before."

"You, my dear sister, are either in love or in lust with Monsieur Marcus," she said giggling and shaking the entire bed.

"Hush yourself Anna. If ma’ma were to hear you speak such things....."

"No, it is you who much hush, Ellena. Ma’ma would most definitely have you flogged if she knew you were partaking in such unladylike rituals and thinking such thoughts," she said, in a hushed whisper.

"But I cannot contain the way I feel. He is the most....."

"Ah, ah, ah, he is an old man. Is that not what you said but a few weeks ago?"

"It is true that he is not like the younger men or boys I have known, but he is by no means old. He is mature in his manhood and that is what makes him all the more appealing to me," I said, covering my face with my hands.

"You are entitled to have your secret fantasies and dreams, but you must not speak of this again. And you must always remember that you are a prim and proper lady and that things such as desire and passion are only permitted in the wedding chamber," Anna said, quietly.

"I know, but I cannot and will not suppress the way I feel about him. I will just have to keep my feelings to myself until I can share them with you," I said, as I was the one giggling now and hugging her.

So the days passed and my passionate feelings become even stronger for my dear Marcus and I was certain he felt the same for me. It had been exactly three months since he began calling upon me and I was now hoping that he would announce his plans to become my suitor.

Disappointment soon unfolded itself, however, when he announced that he must go away on family business for a period of approximately one month. He told me just before he was to leave one afternoon, saying he would be leaving the next morning.

When I asked why he had not told me sooner, he simply said he did not want me to worry. He kissed my hand as usual that afternoon and left. I felt unusually lonely, even though he had only been gone for a few minutes. But that would not be the worst I would feel.

Three days after Marcus had departed, I knew I must find a way to keep my feelings in check and alive until he returned, so I poured my efforts into writing a score, but it was one of great passion that I dared not practice it in the manor for ma’ma to hear. She would have forbid me from playing it ever again, so I went to the servant’s quarters and used the piano forte that resided there.

Day after day, I would retire to the small sitting room at the quarters and labor over the notes, putting my heart and soul into each measure at a time. But it was worth it and it kept me feeling so alive.

When, at the end of the month, I had completed the piece and mastered playing it, learning each note by heart, I asked Anna to accompany me to the servant’s quarters so she could hear the song. I watched her face as I began playing and smiled as I felt the music flow through me. Then, when I had finished playing, I waited for her response.

"Ellena, this, this is how you feel about him? The passion is so intense and consuming. I felt how you feel. I know now that you must love him very much. But he has made no motion to become your suitor or even made any indication that he has plans?"

"I know. I am hoping though that when he returns he might approach ma’ma about it. Please pray for me that he comes back soon. I miss him so," I said, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her to me.

"I will. I can see how much he has come to mean to you."

The next several days were a flurry of activity with guests coming to the manor and my family being invited to dine at the Ashby’s estate. I was not certain of the occasion, for ma’ma would not discuss it with either me or Anna, but I had such high hopes that it would be because Marcus was returning.

The evening we were to attend the dinner at the Ashby’s, my family and I rode the short distance in a small carriage sent over from the Ashby’s estate. We chatted happily as we rode and I was overjoyed to be in the home in which Marcus lived, even though he was away.

After dinner, Anna and I went out onto the terrace to enjoy the late evening air. It was cool, and crisp, but very enjoyable. We were talking quietly when we heard a carriage approaching. We waited, listening as it neared and finally stopped.

My heart sped up and I found it difficulty to breathe from my excitement, thinking it might be Marcus returning. The first person to exit the carriage was a young woman. She was beautiful, wearing a fine white dress with lace embellishments. Then, much to my surprise, Marcus followed behind her.

He held her hand the entire time and when they had stepped away from the carriage he leaned down and kissed her beautiful cheek, then gestured to the manor as if offering it to her. My heart was plucked from my chest and cast into the deepest pit of despair.

Anna grabbed me, but I pulled away and ran down the steps on the terrace and onto the path that led back home. I could not escape the tears that were running down my cheeks, chafing them as I fled in the dusk.

By the time I had made it home, I was out of breath, my feet were aching and I was miserable. I ran up to my bedchamber. Missy, one of the servant girls, followed me asking if she could help. I was not in any shape to speak, so she simply filled the small tub with water for me to bathe in.

When I was clean, I dressed in my gown and climbed into bed. I would deal with my feelings and what had happened tomorrow I told myself, for tonight I was exhausted and needed to sleep.

The next morning, I was up before anyone else in the manor and had slipped down to the servant’s quarters. I had to retrieve and dispose of the score I had written along with my notes. This would be my way of wiping the memory of Marcus from my life.

But it was no where near that easy. I found myself sitting at the piano forte and before I knew what I was doing, I began playing the piece I had written. I closed my eyes and played with all of the passion I had and it flowed from my heart right into my hands.

A stray tear slid down one cheek as I remembered seeing Marcus kiss the young lady, a kiss that I would never have bestowed upon me. My fingers were alive with the emotions I was feeling and I played like I had never played before.

When I had finished the piece, I stood, closed the lid, and picked up the papers I had come for, then turned to leave. But a voice called to me, the husky voice laced with passion that I had grown to love.

I turned to see Marcus standing in the doorway, his chest heaving visibly as he tried to catch his breath. I knew not what to say, so I just stood there looking at him, until at last he spoke, "Anna found me last night. She was so very angry and even tried to hit me. I pulled her aside thinking she had gone mad until I talked with her and she told me what you thought you saw last night. The young lady, the one you saw me with, is my cousin who had been sent for by my brother, George. They have been corresponding for quite some time and are contemplating marriage. I had brought her home for his sake, not mine."

I felt weak, seeing him again in person, hearing what he had to say, feeling both relieved, yet unsure at the same time, so I leaned against the piano.

"I am sorry. I should have spoken to you before making conclusions and accusation."

He then crossed the room and smiled at me wearily.

"I heard you playing and I saw you play with your eyes closed. It was if the passion inside of you was flowing directly into your beautiful hands and fingers as you played what you felt."

"It was. I wrote this piece while you were away. I had to steal away here to the servant’s quarters to play it for fear ma’ma would discover....."

"Would discover what?" he asked, taking a few more steps in my direction.

I could not look at him. I was both abashed and humiliated, most of which was my own doing. But he reached for my hand and took it in his, bringing it to his cheek. I had never touched more than his hand or forearm and I felt as though I was touching him under his garment, it was that intimate.

"Marcus, I....."

"Ellie, you have been in my thoughts from the moment I left until the moment I returned. You slept beside me each night in my dreams and I woke to your lovely smile each morning. In some ways I wish I had never left, thinking of the time I have missed spending with you, but on the other hand I am so glad I went away for it let me see how much you mean to me."

"Oh, my," I gasped, as he pulled me even closer to him, pressing his body to mine.

"You, my dear Ellie, have awakened a passion within me that cannot be sated until I take you as my wife and lover. I know I am speaking out of turn and being presumptuous and forward, but you have caused a fire inside of me and I cannot live without you. Ellie, will you marry me?"

"Marcus, oh Marcus, yes I will marry you, today if I had my way," I said, through tears of joy and relief.

"I have dreamt of you lying with me under the willow tree, or in a field of tall grass, or upon a bed of solid white linen, and just as the sonnet read ‘Thy bosom of tender and milky flesh, enraptures me with its scent so fresh, for it is there I cling and dare to enmesh.’ I need you like I need the air that I breathe. Tell me Ellie, what you called the piece you wrote?"

"La Passion Est La Mienne. It means Passion Is Mine."

"Then let us share this passion together as we also share our love," he said, moving slowly toward my face with his, until at last our lips were as one flesh.

The fire that was rekindled inside of me would never be extinguished, for I would always burn with passion and desire for my dear Marcus.