The Wolf Within
Title: The Wolf Within
Chapter: Eleven - Reassurances And Acceptance
Time: New Moon
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I don't own or claim to own these characters, they belong to SMeyer.
Summary: Jake and Bella have reached a turning point in their relationship and because of imprinting being a threat, they are faced with some very real, very important decisions in their lives, something that means forever for them both, but they are ready to do what it takes to take away the threat of imprinting for good. This chapter is from Bella's POV.
Chapter Eleven
Reassurances And Acceptance
Bella’s POV
I woke up once during the night and realized I wasn’t in a bed, but when I saw Jake’s form lying next to me, I felt like I belonged there among the trees and in the forest, with this russet wolf always by my side. I drifted back to sleep, and pressed myself closer to Jake as we slept.
When the first rays of sun peaked through the tree tops, I opened my eyes to the beauty that was all around me. The mist was still rising from the damp ground ascending back into the heavens from which it came, the birds were just starting to chirp high in the branches above us, and there lying beside me was the one I loved.
I lay there, watching him sleep for the longest, and I wondered what this next week would bring for he and I? I knew that I was ready to commit myself to him completely, and even though it would be hard to live a life with secrets, I had already been doing that, so I knew it would work, it just had to.
I licked Jake’s face and nibbled at one of his ears, until he let out a purring sound, similar to that of a cat and I laughed to myself at the irony. He opened his eyes sleepily and looked at me then his lips pulled back from his muzzle, and I knew he was giving me that grin, the grin that drove me crazy.
"God you look beautiful in the morning, especially as a gorgeous wolf," he said.
"I was just thinking the same thing about you."
"Come on. Let’s go make a few rounds then we can go to my house and get cleaned up. Maybe my dad won’t give us too much strife about being out all night."
I hadn’t thought about that, but Jake was right. We had actually sort of slept together all night. I had enjoyed every minute of being with him though and I think it was the best night’s sleep I had had in ages, even if it was just on a pile of leaves under the trees.
We ran a quick patrol, and Jake checked in with Embry and Leah, who had phased and were out running early too. Then we turned and ran toward Jake’s house.
"You phase first Bella, and I promise I won’t peek," Jake said, with a goofy look on his face. Yes even in is wolf form, I could still see the goofy look.
He turned his back on me and I stretched as I began phasing. It felt strange to stand there naked in my human form again, after having been on all fours for so long. I reached for the shorts and shirt attached to the leather strap on my leg and glanced at Jake who had not kept his word. He had his head cocked to the side and was looking at me with wide-eyed wonder.
But strangely, I wasn’t totally embarrassed. Actually I sort of liked him looking at me so I took my time as I slipped into my shorts, pulling them up very slowly. He only had a side profile of me, but when I pulled my red T-shirt over my head, I turned to face him, as I purposely took my time pulling it over my head and down over my breasts. I realized how intense our bond was becoming as I noticed my body reacting to the way he was looking at me. Everything was alert and on edge, all the way from my chest, down, and he wasn’t even touching me.
"Now it’s your turn Jake. And I promise I won’t look," I said, standing with my arms folded across my chest, looking right at him.
He straitened his head up, shook it a couple of times and drew his tongue back into his mouth, that had inadvertently lolled out, while he had watched me dress. I turned to the side, and whistled while I looked away, but I had no intention of letting him have all the fun. As soon as I heard him shuffling around in the leaves, I turned to watch the most magnificent sight I had ever seen.
As he stretched and turned from the russet wolf into the taut russet man standing before me, my heart nearly stopped as I looked on at his beautiful physic. Every detail about him was perfect, from his black silky hair, to his high cheek bones, to his full red lips, down his broad muscular shoulders, his rippled abs and firm stomach, his perfect hips and thighs, right down to his big beautiful feet.
He caught me looking and I think he blushed for just a moment, before he came over to wrap his arms around me, lifting me off the ground and placing a big bold kiss on my lips. I say bold, because we had slept as wolves in the woods all night and neither of us had brushed our teeth nor freshened up.
"I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Let’s go to my house and see what my dad is making for breakfast."
I kissed him once more before he sat me down, and we walked out of the forest holding hands as we made our way down the road to his little red house. I could smell food as we walked up on the porch before Jake ever reached for the door.
"Well. Look what the wolf dragged in," his dad said in greeting as we came into the kitchen.
"Um, good morning Billy," I said shyly.
I was worried that he was upset with Jake for being gone all night, and that he would tell my dad that I was out with him all night too. But he quickly set me at ease in a weird sort of way.
"I’m going to get right to the point guys. I know about last night and I also know that you two are both very responsible. Sam and I had a long talk last night and Jake, I understand you did too. I assume you and Bella have talked now?"
"Dad. I...."
"Wait. Before you begin, let me have my say. I know that the two of you have had to do some major growing up the last few months. I also know that under normal circumstances I would be upset that you didn’t come home last night Jake and that you stayed out with my best friend’s daughter, but the truth is things aren’t all that normal for either of you because you are special and have special responsibilities that have been placed on both your shoulders. Bella, I would, under different circumstances, tell your father, but I’m not going to do that. I know that you both love each other and are trying to keep from losing each other to imprinting, I understand and respect that. I probably would have done the same thing with your mother Jake, if it had been an issue. So, with all that out of the way. What do you have to say for yourself Jake?"
"Well first I guess thanks for being understanding. None of this is easy, but Bella and I have decided to do everything in our power to keep imprinting from separating us." Jake took my hand and pulled me close to him as he continued to speak, "I love her dad and I can’t lose her. I almost lost her once and I’m not going to let it happen again."
He turned to me and waited for me to begin. I looked up into his eyes and felt lost for a few minutes in the truth of his statement. He had almost lost me to Edward and I now knew that I would have been so lost without him. I felt tears in my eyes as I began to speak, still looking at Jake, "I love Jake more than you know Billy. And I thank you for your understanding. I hope you don’t think this is a hasty steep for us to make, but we both want this and are ready to be married secretly under the tribal law."
I reached up and ran my hand over Jake’s smooth cheek and he kissed my hand as I neared his lips.
"I love you," he whispered.
"Billy, as for not telling my dad, you don’t know how much it is going to hurt me to have to keep my happiness from him, but for the pack, for my pack, and my new family, I know what my duty is. I will live a secret life for as long as I have to, to protect us all, and I hope you don’t think badly of me for that."
"Bella, I hate keeping things from my old friend too, but sometimes things are just necessary. I respect your decision and I will help you and Jake out as much as possible. I’m just an old man in a wheelchair, but I still have my brain you know, so together we will figure all of this out."
I smiled over at him and went to place a kiss on his cheek too, "thanks Billy. Or should I say dad?"
He blushed a little and took my hand in his, as he patted it and smiled.
"Now. What can I do to help in here?" I asked, looking around at the breakfast he had already started.
"I was about to make pancakes. Would you like to finish that up while Jake and I set the table?"
"Sure," I said, as I washed my hands and took over the batter.
The breakfast was wonderful and I hadn’t realized that I was so hungry, until I took the first bite. Jake and I both ate heartily and then I washed the dishes while Jake took a quick shower. I was washing the dishes when I suddenly remembered my truck was still at Leah’s house. I must have made a sound or gasped out loud, because Billy was quick to inquire.
"Bella. What’s wrong?"
"I forgot that my truck was at Leah’s. What is her mom going to think?"
"I went with Sam to Sue’s house last night as he talked with her too. After all she was sort of responsible for your whereabouts last night, so he had to make sure there was no trouble."
"Was Leah there when he talked with Sue?"
If she was, I wondered how she had taken the news of all this? I knew how much that she had loved Sam, and I knew there would always be a spot in her heart for him, even though she had closed the door on that part of her life and was trying to move forward. I just hoped that this didn’t cause her to become bitter all over again.
"We talked with Sue outside, but I think Leah might have heard some of what was said. She had come back from patrols with Embry and was inside getting ready for bed."
"I’m worried about her then. I hope she understands that Sam didn’t know all of this."
We were still talking when there was a knock on the door. I went to answer it and it was Leah.
"Hey, I was just talking about you. I was hoping your mom wouldn’t be upset about me not being at your house last night."
She didn’t look upset, but I could tell she had been thinking. She had an unusual look in her eyes. I moved aside so she could come in.
"Yeah. I thought you might be needing these," she said, as she held up the bag full of my clothes and overnight things.
"Thanks. I do need a shower," I said, sniffing under my arm and laughing.
Billy had stayed in the kitchen and was finishing drying the dishes, so she and I sat down on the sofa to talk for a moment.
"So. How was Embry last night?" I asked, giving her a nudge with my elbow.
Her face immediately lit up and I thought that was a good sign.
"We ran patrols for a while then walked back to my house. I really had a good time with him last night and we seem to have hit it off. I wish I hadn’t been so blind all this time. I like the way he makes me feel."
"Well, maybe it just wasn’t the right time. So don’t go getting all regretful, just enjoy the here and now," I said, trying to encourage her.
"Sam came to talk with my mom last night. I heard them talking outside. I know about you and Jake and what you are planning to do. I’m happy for you Bella and I’ll help any way I can. I just....."
I grabbed her by the hand and put my arm around her. I knew this was tough for her to think what could have been, but there was no turning back now, only moving forward.
"I know Leah. I know what you mean, but look at it like this. You and Embry are together now and you would have missed this chance to be with him if things hadn’t turned out the way they did."
She smiled at me and hugged me, "you’re right. Besides, I can’t change the past and I’m through being bitter and resentful. I have a life to live now and I want to make Embry happy. We’ll see how things go. Who knows...."
She stopped talking as Jake walked out of the bathroom and down the hall standing there in a pair of cut offs and towel drying his hair. She must have seen the sparkle in my eye when I looked at him and grinned.
"Yeah, who knows. You and I may have to talk more about what you and Jake are about to do, in a few months. I think I may be falling in love with Embry," she whispered, before getting up and turning toward the door.
I stood up and walked with her to the door, "you know you can count on me Leah. I’ll always be here for you. You’ll be seeing quite a bit of me from now on."
"Thanks Bella. So, are you guys heading to the beach around lunch time? The festivities start off with a big meal. Mom and I made stuff most of the night cooking. I think Quil and Embry are going to perform a ritual dance. I can’t wait to see Embry in his costume," she said, as she opened the door.
"Yeah we’ll be there," I said, and gave her another hug, as she left.
"What was that all about?" Jake asked, as he came over to me holding the towel on either side of his neck.
"I think she and Embry are hitting it off. I"m so happy for her, but I’m sad at the same time. If only Sam had known things back then."
"I know. But I’m so thankful he knows them now and has shared his knowledge with us."
We looked at each other for a few moments, both of us knowing what it would have possibly meant if we didn’t have the options that we had before us now. Then I asked if I could take a shower and freshen up before time to go to the beach.
Jake showed me where the towels and things were that I would need for my shower, and closed the door behind me feeling odd about being there, yet strangely at home too. I took a nice shower and got dressed then dried my hair and brushed my teeth.
When I came out of the bathroom, Jake and his dad were talking quietly in the living room. He lifted his head and looked at me with such loving adoration when I came into the room that it took my breath away.
He came over to give me a hug, breathing in the fresh scent of my hair. I felt him sigh as he pulled back again to look at me. Billy just started laughing as he mumbled something about young love as he rolled into the kitchen to get his dish ready that he was taking to the beach.
"You smell so good," Jake breathed into my ear as he nestled his face into my hair and neck.
"So do you," I whispered, "but right now we have to get going don’t we? I bet Leah and Sue could use some help with the food. We can put things in my truck and take them down to the beach."
We told Billy we would be back to pick him up a little later as we headed over to Leah’s. It was another beautiful day and I knew I couldn’t be any happier. I told Jake what Leah had said about Quil and Embry dancing and that today sounded like it would be fun. When we got to Leah’s, we helped them load things into my truck and took them down to the beach. After we had gotten everything set up and people were beginning to arrive, Jake and I went back to pick up Billy.
The music had begun and people were busy getting their plates filled from the large smorgasbord of different foods everyone had brought, and yes by now, Jake was already hungry. But I was still full from the stack of pancakes I had eaten earlier.
I was helping Billy fix his plate and Jake was ahead of us in the line, when I noticed someone talking to him, but I couldn’t see who it was. I listened, trying to make out the voice, but there was too much noise. Jake was smiling and laughing and looking down at whoever it was, and I thought it was a girl, by the color of clothing I saw as they moved slightly to the side. Then I saw her. It was the girl who was with Jake the night I came to Quil’s.
I wondered why she was here, being that this was predominately a Native celebration of sorts, but then I saw another girl with her who looked Quileute. I felt foolish, but I couldn’t help myself, I was understandably jealous, I mean she had made a play for Jake once before, and it looked like she was doing it again, and that’s when I realized that my hands were beginning to tremble.
Billy must have sensed something was wrong, and had seen me staring in Jake’s direction. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me down to him.
"Bella. What’s wrong?"
"That’s the girl that I thought Jake was seeing the night....the night.....I came to tell him I loved him. The night I began to transform," I said in a low and shaken voice.
"Bella. You know Jake loves you and it’s okay. Hold yourself together, go over there, and let her know that he’s spoken for," he said in a stern voice.
He was right. That’s all I had to do was just walk over to him, put my arm around Jake’s waist and look her in the eye. But that didn’t help me with the stronger persona that was raging inside, that of the wolf.
I took a few deep breaths and started walking. As I walked, the madder I got thinking that Jake hadn’t even looked away from her to look for me. He was just happily chatting away. By the time I reached him, my trembling had gotten worse, so when I wrapped my arm around his waist, I grabbed onto his shirt, trying to hold myself steady.
He immediately knew, and looked down at me with pleading eyes. He wanted me to understand and to calm down, I saw it, I felt it. He sat his plate down, wrapped his arm around me but continued to talk with the girl. Then he introduced me to her.
"Um, this is my girlfriend Bella. Bella, this is Chelsie, I, um, go to school with her."
Jake pulled me tight against his side and I felt him rubbing my back, soothing me, and it was working. I knew everything would be okay, but I wanted her to know where she stood, so she wouldn’t mess with Jake when they were at school. I gritted my teeth and actually a small growl formed deep in my throat, but I tried to push it back down.
"Hi. Nice to meet you," I said, as I smiled up at Jake and wrapped my other arm around his stomach, clasping my hands on the other side and I lay my head against his chest.
I knew I was probably looking a bit clingy, but it was either that, or explode into my sable wolf form and growl at her, so I opted for looking clingy and continued to try and calm down. I think she finally got the picture and excused herself. I felt a rumble of laughter course through Jake as he pulled away to look down at me.
"You did very well for the jealous girlfriend," he said, as he kissed me on the forehead.
"She’s so lucky that I was holding onto you, or else I would have burst into the biggest fur coat she’s ever seen. And she might have been wearing it if she hadn’t left."
"You are absolutely the sexiest, most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen when you are fighting for your man. Don’t. Ever. Change," he said, in between each hot kiss he placed on my lips, "I wouldn’t want you any other way."
I looked around to see if she was watching and she was. I breathed a sigh of relief and thought that surely she had gotten the picture and would be leaving him alone now. I laughed and he picked his plate up and walked back to where his dad was. Billy just nodded and smiled at me with approval, and I knew he was glad I had handled things the way I did. We sat down after that and I tried to enjoy the festivities. But I kept my eyes out for Chelsie, just in case she came back around.