The Wolf Within
Title: The Wolf Within
Chapter: Ten - Tribal Law
Time: New Moon
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I don't own or claim to own these characters, they belong to SMeyer.
Summary: Jake and Bella have reached a turning point in their relationship and because of imprinting being a threat, they are faced with some very real, very important decisions in their lives. Something that means forever for them both. Sam steps up and tries to help Jake out and provides him with new option regarding he and Bella. This chapter is from Jake's POV.
Chapter Ten
Tribal Law
Jake’s POV
***********************************
For everyone who reads this chapter, I hope it makes sense. I’ve tried to iron out the imprinting details the best I could and make it seem somewhat believable, but hey, it is fan fiction after all, so just read until your little heart is content, then tell me what you think.
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I had her pressed against the tree, her legs were wrapped around me, and I knew I was about to lose control. I wondered if she was fighting the desire, the need, as much as I was. This was so new to us, yet so natural at the same time, and it was so strong that my focus was quickly fading.
I hadn’t heard anyone approach and I felt out of synch with my senses. It wasn’t until I heard someone calling my name that I snapped out of it.
"Jake. Jake," I heard him say, but I answered with a feral warning growl that echoed off the trees.
"Jake. Bella. You can’t do this now. There are people nearby and....well.....you can’t risk being seen or heard. It’s best if you wait until the time is right."
I tightened my grip on Bella and she did the same to me. She was growling now, but not at Sam, at me. Her growl was one of wanting me to continue where I’d left off. Sam stepped cautiously toward us. He knew that this was a sensitive time for us both, I mean you don’t get between wolves when they are contemplating mating.
Embry had apparently told Sam what had happened, and he had set out to find us, knowing he needed to talk us through this thing. He came into my line of sight, and I blinked a few times, trying to get a grip.
"Jake. I understand what’s going on, but now is not the time nor the place. Come on. We have to get back to the celebration. She’s with you tonight and nothing is going to happen," he said, as he lay his hand on my shoulder.
I leaned my forehead against Bella’s and took a few deep breaths.
"Bells. I’m sorry. I just got carried away. I....this is tough. I know it’s tough for you too."
"I love you Jake and I only want to be with you. Sam’s right. Let’s go back to the others. We’ll enjoy the celebration and tonight we can talk," she whispered.
I lowered her to the grounds and wrapped my arms around her, kissing the top of her head. I didn’t want her to even look at another guy tonight, because I was afraid of what might happen. But, we had been lucky so far, I guess all I could do now was hope and pray, until we figured things out.
Wrapping my arm around her waist, she intertwined her fingers with mine and we started walking back toward the beach. Sam walked close by and didn’t say much, but I could tell by his expression, that he understood these emotions Bella and I were feeling. I even think he was feeling somewhat remorseful about his own situation. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would have done the same thing, if only he’d known, to save the love that he and Leah had once shared.
When we got back to the circle of bodies around the bon fire, we found where the rest of the pack was setting and joined them. Bella and I sat back down on the sand, and I pulled her up close, letting her rest her back against my chest, while I propped my knees up on either side of her. For now, she was safe and wrapped up with me and that’s the way I wanted to keep it, the rest of the night.
"Jake. Look. Leah and Embry are holding hands. I told you there was something starting between them," Bella whispered, as I pressed my ear to her lips.
Leah must have heard her, because within minutes she was sitting up next to me and leaning over to talk with Bella. Much to my surprise, she had Embry in tow and he was sitting on the other side of her smiling like a kid in a candy store.
"Bella. Are you okay?" I heard Leah ask, as she leaned in closer.
"Yeah. I’m fine. Jake and I just have to work this all out," Bella replied, squeezing my hand with hers.
Meanwhile, I decided I needed to set things straight with Embry.
"Embry. Hey man. I’m sorry about earlier. Things are just tense with me and Bella right now. You know I didn’t mean anything by it. Are we good?"
"Yeah, Jake, it’s okay. But I have a feeling you and I will need to have a long talk soon. Very soon," he said, as he smiled and looked at Leah like they’d been dating for months.
Leah seemed to be glowing too, as she scooted back over by Embry, who had wrapped his arm around her waist and was reaching for her hand to hold in his lap. Things were getting stranger by the minute.
Bella leaned her head back against my chest and looked up at me with a smile that could melt a man, that man being me. I kissed her earlobe and nestled my face in her hair that hung over her shoulder. We stayed wrapped up like that for a long time, while we watched the dancers, listened to the music, and talked quietly to each other.
It was now completely dark and must have been getting close to eight o’clock. Bella asked me if I was hungry, I guess she could feel my stomach rumbling behind her.
"Yeah, I guess I am a little hungry. But I hadn’t noticed until you mentioned it. I was too busy noticing you," I said smiling at her.
"I’ll get you something to eat and drink," she said, trying to get up, but I wouldn’t let her go.
"No way. I’m coming with you. I’m not letting you out of my sight any more tonight."
So we got up together and walked hand in hand toward the food table. We fixed a couple of plates and poured a glass of soda to share, then sat down at the outer edge of the group. Bella sat in front of me, crossed legged with her plate on her lap. I could hardly take my eyes off of her. She was bathed in the soft glow from the bonfire and her eyes were reflecting me.
Bella was watching Leah and Embry out of the corner of her eye. I followed her gaze and was so surprised that they had hit it off so quickly. Then, I thought about it and it actually made sense. They’ve known each other for the longest time, and have been connected as wolves, so they know everything about each other. I guess it just took Leah letting down the wall she had built up, low enough so that Embry could come in. I’ve known he liked her for some time, but never wanted to take that first step.
"I guess you had something to do with this, didn’t you?" I asked Bella, as she looked back at me and smiled.
"She just needed to know that she’s worth having, that’s all," she replied, and I could see a blush creep into her cheeks.
It made me love her even more to know that she cared so much about Leah and the whole pack. I knew that her skin might not be as dark as the rest of us, but she had the heart of a true Quileute and it showed.
"Thanks for helping Leah. She seems happier than I’ve ever seen her," I said, taking another bite of my sandwich.
We had just finished eating, when Sam came walking over to us. Bella took our plates to the trash bag beside the food table and while was gone, Sam took the opportunity to talk with me in private.
"Jake. I want to meet with you later, when everyone starts to go home. There’s more that I need to tell you and I didn’t feel right talking about it in front of Bella. I’m sending her and Leah out for the first patrol. They need to run tonight. Don’t you think?" he said, as he looked over at Leah and Embry.
I wondered how awkward it must be for him, seeing her with one of his pack brothers, but it couldn’t hurt any worse than what he did to her with Emily. He watched them closely for a few moments, then spoke again.
"I want to help, in every way that I can Jake, for so many reasons. I’ll meet you at your garage in an hour or so. Okay?"
I didn’t want Bella to leave with Leah. And, I sure as hell didn’t want them patrolling alone, but I also wanted, no I needed, to know what Sam had to say. So, I reluctantly agreed, but told him I would be going out with them as soon as we finished our meeting. He didn’t say no, so I felt like we had made a compromise.
Bella made her way back over to where I was now standing and walked right up to Sam, taking my hand as she moved up close to him.
"Sam. I’m sorry about earlier. I’m not sure I understand everything that Jake and I are going through, but I wanted to say thanks for helping-for being there," she said, as she took his hand in hers and squeezed it.
Now this was feeling really weird and I’m not sure how I felt about Bella touching Sam, even though it was just in a friendly sort of way. I was hoping that I wouldn’t be so jumpy or suspicious or whatever the hell you call it, once Bella and I got the imprinting issues put to bed, so to speak.
"Bella, it will be okay. You and Jake can get through this and it will make you both stronger, but for now, I need you and Leah to go on patrols. Okay? You’ve got about an hour, then you get Leah and start in the forest north of La Push, then work your way back to the south. Jake will join you as soon as he can," he said.
"Okay. Okay, we will," Bella said, glancing at me.
I knew she didn’t want to leave me either, but she also knew she had to put the pack first, that I could see in her eyes.
We joined the others and hung around until things started to die down, then Bella told Leah that they had to go on patrols. She and Embry exchanges goodbyes, and Embry even gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. He told her he would see her later tonight on patrols. I pulled Bella to the side and wrapped my arms around her, picking her up so we were face to face.
"You be careful out there, okay? I’ll find you as soon as I get through meeting with Sam."
"Meeting? What meeting?" she asked.
"He just wants to talk to me about a few things. That’s all."
Then I kissed her goodbye and let her down. She and Leah looked back a few times at us, Embry had come to stand beside me, before disappearing into the trees.
"So. You and Leah?" I asked, turning to slap Embry on the shoulder.
"Hey. Don’t you start in on....."
"Embry. I’m glad for you. I’m glad for her. I think the two of you will make a great couple. You’re easy going and she’s uptight. What do they say about opposites attracting?"
We slowly walked back toward our houses, our minds’ miles away on Bella and Leah. When we got to Embry’s house, he said he would be out to patrol with Leah in an hour or so, and went inside. I walked onto my house, and around the back to my garage. Sam was already there waiting.
"So. Where do we begin?" I said, looking at him seriously.
"Well, I guess where we left off the other day. You know that once you commit yourself to someone that you love, and you decide to become one with them, mating for life if you will, that imprinting will no longer be a deterring factor in your life. And I of all people know how much that can mean, and you already know my feelings on the subject, but....."he stopped in mid sentence, and dropped his gaze to the ground.
Oh great, now he’s going to tell me that he forgot something, or something. How am I supposed to figure this out, without all of the information?
"What? What’s next?" I asked, rasing my voice an octave.
He looked back up at me, with a furrowed brow, and continued, "well. For starters, you and Bella are still in school. You’re just seventeen and the two of you have your whole lives ahead of you. Are you sure? Are you really, really sure that you want to spend it with Bella?"
His question took me off guard and I almost took offense with it. I immediately became defensive, and I guess that was proof of my answer.
"Sam, what the hell do you think?" I said, bristling and walking over in front of him.
"Whoa, whoa," he said, holding his hands up.
"You know that I love Bella and I want to be with her. After all that we have been through, how can you even ask that?"
"I just have to Jake. That’s part of helping you. What about Bella? How does she really feel?" he questioned, and I was starting to tremble at his thought process.
"Sam, Bella loves me. She was leaving, running away when she thought I was with someone else. She stood the hell up to a freaking vampire, no an entire vampire coven, and told them to leave because she had chosen to be with me. Did you hear what I said? With. Me."
Sam took what I was saying and digested it for a few minutes before continuing.
"Yeah. That’s true but...."
"Sam. In case you haven’t figured this out, we, none of us, are normal in the sense of ‘wait until you’re older, wait until you’re out of school, get an education, ask her to marry you, buy a house, settle down, and raise a family’," I almost shouted at him.
Then I lowered my voice, and told the cold hard facts. "We are wolves. You even said it yourself, by nature we are wolves. We’ve aged, our bodies are fully grown, we thrive on instinct and it’s survival of the fittest. We are what we are, and I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, it’s just how it is. Call it a curse or a gift, it doesn’t really matter, we are what we are," I said, falling silent.
He looked at me for a long time, searching my eyes, reading my face.
"You’re right, you know. You’re right. We are different, and I think it’s a gift. I believe we are special because through fate, or circumstance, or luck, we have been given this duty and we have to fulfil it to the end, so I guess with that duty comes things that are not quite traditional in the mortal man’s world. And, for what it’s worth, I know that you two love each other. I could swear every time you look at each other that you’ve imprinted, but for whatever reason, that just isn’t the case here. But its love, it’s a very strong love and bond that you two have."
"Thanks Sam. I’m glad you see things the way I do," I replied.
My trembling had subsided and I felt more in control now. I was just thankful that he could really see how much Bella meant to me, and what I meant to her. It’s true that none of this made sense to normal people, but we were not normal, we were special, and that meant that we were governed by special circumstances.
"So, I guess the next question is, what are you going to do about it? I mean, if you and Bella mate, it’s going to make your bond ten times stronger. How will you be able to leave her every day and live apart? Have you thought about that?"
Actually I had, and that part was hard for me. I already wanted to be with Bella all of the time anyway, but we still had obligations that made this even more difficult. I wasn’t exactly sure how it would work, but where there’s a will, there has to be a way and God knows I was willing.
"I don’t know what tomorrow will bring Sam. I just know and feel, deep down, that this is what’s meant to be in mine and Bella’s lives."
"Well, I’m not trying to persuade you or anything. I just want you to know all of your options. You do know that under tribal law you’re considered an adult? If, that were to be what you and Bella wanted, you could get married here on the reservation by Quil, Sr., because he’s our chief. It would be recognized as legal here on the reservation."
I rubbed the back of my neck and ran my hand through my hair. We could be married? This was so much, so fast, and I didn’t know what Bella would think.
"Huh. That puts a new twist on things," I said, wearily.
"Yeah, it does. It sounds like you have a lot talk to her about. Why don’t you get going?" Sam said, tossing his head toward the door.
I turned to leave, but stopped before I got out the door, "um, Embry said he wanted to run patrols with.....um.....Leah tonight," I said.
"Yeah, I saw them tonight. It’s about time Leah let someone into her life again. And, if she’s going to, I’m glad it’s Embry. Not that it doesn’t hurt some, but I know he will be good to her. She deserves it."
"So, how are you going to handle Embry?"
"Embry’s my brother and Leah’s now more like a sister. There’s nothing to handle. Things will be what they are," he said with a glint of sadness showing in his eyes.
"Okay then. I guess Bella and I will take the north and Embry and Leah can take the south."
"Okay, get going. I’ll have Jared and Paul relieve you guys around midnight."
I nodded before walking out of the garage. I jogged toward the forest, took off my clothes, and phased. I immediately started trying to focus on Bella’s mind and within minutes had established a connection. She was thinking about me and talking to Leah at the same time.
It didn’t take me long to reach them and when I saw Bella, it was like seeing her again for the first time. She turned around and looked at me, just as I came into the clearing, and I could have sworn she was fluttering her long eyelashes, as she looked up at me sheepishly, or whatever the word is when you’re a wolf.
"Hey ladies. Have you found anything?" I asked as I moved in closer.
"No. No trials tonight, just peace and quiet," Leah confirmed.
"Embry’s going to be out looking for you shortly. You might want to start working your way back toward his house. You and he are going to take the south, while Bella and I cover the north, until Jared and Paul relieve us around midnight," I said, turning to Leah.
She let out a bark like laugh that told me she was thrilled at the prospect of being alone finally with Embry, even if it was in wolf form. So she said she’d see us later, and trotted off back toward La Push.
"So what did you and Sam have to talk about?" Bella asked curiously as she brought her muzzle within inches of mine.
I knew that Leah could hear everything that I would say, so I had to choose my words carefully, but I also thought it was good for her to hear some of what I told Bella, and I actually hoped that Embry was out now and could hear too. I had a feeling that they might need to know the information that I was about to share with Bella, just as much as she did.
"We talked about a few options. And now you and I need to talk about the same thing."
"Sounds serious. Should I be worried?" she asked, looking me straight in the eyes.
"Bella, how do you feel about me?"
I knew, but I really wanted her to tell me again. Besides, this was a good way for us to start talking about all the things we needed to cover.
"Jake, don’t you know that I love you by now? I know it may sound crazy, making this life altering declaration, but I can’t see my life without you. I want to be with you, eventually grow old with you, and be apart of your life. I don’t think I would be complete without you, Jake. I know I wouldn’t."
"That’s all I needed to hear, Bella," I said, gently rubbing my nose against hers. "So now all we have to do it figure out how all of this will work. But before I go any further, knowing as we do our level of commitment to each other, how would you feel if I asked you to marry me?"
I waited for a few minutes, letting my words sink in. I was actually surprised at myself that I’d been able to say it so easily. But I guess my talk with Sam had shed new light on the subject and made it sound not quite so out of reach.
"I’m not sure how, or when, or anything, but my answer would be yes," she replied, and I heard her cough like she might be getting chocked up, then I saw tears glistening on her sable fur as they ran silently down her face.
"Oh, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear you say. I’ve dreamed of asking you to marry me for a long time, but I never thought it would be this way and so soon. But I want to do this right honey. I want it to be as perfect for you as it can be, it will just be different. You know that don’t you?"
"Yes, I think I do Jake. But how....?"
"I’m technically considered an adult here on the reservation and I can apply for a tribal marriage license without needing consent. You are already eighteen, so you don’t need it either. If we get married, here on the reservation, we will be legally married under tribal law, then things will be almost perfect when we come together strengthening our bond with each other."
"Jake, it sounds wonderful but...."
"I know. What about our parents? And what about school? Well, my dad probably will be the most understanding and I can’t see him objecting. It’s your family that would not understand and they would be the ones to object I’m sure. I’m not saying anything bad about them, I’d probably be the same way if it were my daughter and things were normal."
"You’re right. My dad.... Jake, what are we going to do? I can’t wait, we can’t wait around until it’s too late and one of us imprints. I think it would kill me Jake. I don’t think I could take it. Either way. If it happened to me, I couldn’t live with the guilt and the hurt I’d brought to you, and if it happened to you, I would die of a broken heart."
"Bella, if we choose to do this, we would have to keep it a secret, just like the wolf is secret, for a while. At least until you get out of school, which is just a few more months. Then maybe my dad can convince Charlie that we need to be together and he’d give his consent for us to have a traditional wedding. I could still go to school, but by then I could leave at noon if I was in the vocational program and go to work. We could get a little apartment or house maybe here in La Push so we could still be close to the pack."
"Oh, Jake. It sounds wonderful. Do you think it will work?"
"We won’t know until we give it a try, if you’re willing. It’s you who would have the biggest burden, living with secrets every day, living two lives so to speak."
"But, Jake? What about us? When would be together?"
I rubbed my head against hers and licked her ear.
"That would be the hardest part of all. I’m sure you could persuade Charlie into letting you spend at least every other weekend at Leah’s. Then we could be together somehow. Maybe you could get out of your house every now and then and we could see each other in the forest, or on patrols. I don’t know, but it won’t be easy. I’m not sure I can stand being away from you. It’s getting harder to do that now."
"Jake, I want to try. It has to work out. It just has to. Yes, I want to marry you, regardless of where or how, and I want to be with you as much as possible. When is my only question?"
"Well with this celebration lasting through tomorrow, and my needing to probably fill out some paperwork with the council, it would most likely have to be next weekend. Are you sure about this?"
"I’ve never been surer. If I have to keep it a secret, so be it. It will be worth it in the long run knowing you are mine and that we have each other."
"You’ve made me the happiest man, or wolf, in the world. Bella, let’s run. Come on and run with me."
So we took off together running through the night. We made our rounds and circled back toward La Push. Around midnight, Paul and Jared joined us and took over the patrols. Leah and Embry went home, but I asked Bella if she wanted to stay with me in the forest that night.
I knew it wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but I found a nice pile of dried leaves and we lay down, snuggling up with each other and kept each other warm all night. It was our first night together and I would always remember it, even if all we did was sleep beside each other.
Chapter: Ten - Tribal Law
Time: New Moon
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I don't own or claim to own these characters, they belong to SMeyer.
Summary: Jake and Bella have reached a turning point in their relationship and because of imprinting being a threat, they are faced with some very real, very important decisions in their lives. Something that means forever for them both. Sam steps up and tries to help Jake out and provides him with new option regarding he and Bella. This chapter is from Jake's POV.
Chapter Ten
Tribal Law
Jake’s POV
***********************************
For everyone who reads this chapter, I hope it makes sense. I’ve tried to iron out the imprinting details the best I could and make it seem somewhat believable, but hey, it is fan fiction after all, so just read until your little heart is content, then tell me what you think.
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I had her pressed against the tree, her legs were wrapped around me, and I knew I was about to lose control. I wondered if she was fighting the desire, the need, as much as I was. This was so new to us, yet so natural at the same time, and it was so strong that my focus was quickly fading.
I hadn’t heard anyone approach and I felt out of synch with my senses. It wasn’t until I heard someone calling my name that I snapped out of it.
"Jake. Jake," I heard him say, but I answered with a feral warning growl that echoed off the trees.
"Jake. Bella. You can’t do this now. There are people nearby and....well.....you can’t risk being seen or heard. It’s best if you wait until the time is right."
I tightened my grip on Bella and she did the same to me. She was growling now, but not at Sam, at me. Her growl was one of wanting me to continue where I’d left off. Sam stepped cautiously toward us. He knew that this was a sensitive time for us both, I mean you don’t get between wolves when they are contemplating mating.
Embry had apparently told Sam what had happened, and he had set out to find us, knowing he needed to talk us through this thing. He came into my line of sight, and I blinked a few times, trying to get a grip.
"Jake. I understand what’s going on, but now is not the time nor the place. Come on. We have to get back to the celebration. She’s with you tonight and nothing is going to happen," he said, as he lay his hand on my shoulder.
I leaned my forehead against Bella’s and took a few deep breaths.
"Bells. I’m sorry. I just got carried away. I....this is tough. I know it’s tough for you too."
"I love you Jake and I only want to be with you. Sam’s right. Let’s go back to the others. We’ll enjoy the celebration and tonight we can talk," she whispered.
I lowered her to the grounds and wrapped my arms around her, kissing the top of her head. I didn’t want her to even look at another guy tonight, because I was afraid of what might happen. But, we had been lucky so far, I guess all I could do now was hope and pray, until we figured things out.
Wrapping my arm around her waist, she intertwined her fingers with mine and we started walking back toward the beach. Sam walked close by and didn’t say much, but I could tell by his expression, that he understood these emotions Bella and I were feeling. I even think he was feeling somewhat remorseful about his own situation. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would have done the same thing, if only he’d known, to save the love that he and Leah had once shared.
When we got back to the circle of bodies around the bon fire, we found where the rest of the pack was setting and joined them. Bella and I sat back down on the sand, and I pulled her up close, letting her rest her back against my chest, while I propped my knees up on either side of her. For now, she was safe and wrapped up with me and that’s the way I wanted to keep it, the rest of the night.
"Jake. Look. Leah and Embry are holding hands. I told you there was something starting between them," Bella whispered, as I pressed my ear to her lips.
Leah must have heard her, because within minutes she was sitting up next to me and leaning over to talk with Bella. Much to my surprise, she had Embry in tow and he was sitting on the other side of her smiling like a kid in a candy store.
"Bella. Are you okay?" I heard Leah ask, as she leaned in closer.
"Yeah. I’m fine. Jake and I just have to work this all out," Bella replied, squeezing my hand with hers.
Meanwhile, I decided I needed to set things straight with Embry.
"Embry. Hey man. I’m sorry about earlier. Things are just tense with me and Bella right now. You know I didn’t mean anything by it. Are we good?"
"Yeah, Jake, it’s okay. But I have a feeling you and I will need to have a long talk soon. Very soon," he said, as he smiled and looked at Leah like they’d been dating for months.
Leah seemed to be glowing too, as she scooted back over by Embry, who had wrapped his arm around her waist and was reaching for her hand to hold in his lap. Things were getting stranger by the minute.
Bella leaned her head back against my chest and looked up at me with a smile that could melt a man, that man being me. I kissed her earlobe and nestled my face in her hair that hung over her shoulder. We stayed wrapped up like that for a long time, while we watched the dancers, listened to the music, and talked quietly to each other.
It was now completely dark and must have been getting close to eight o’clock. Bella asked me if I was hungry, I guess she could feel my stomach rumbling behind her.
"Yeah, I guess I am a little hungry. But I hadn’t noticed until you mentioned it. I was too busy noticing you," I said smiling at her.
"I’ll get you something to eat and drink," she said, trying to get up, but I wouldn’t let her go.
"No way. I’m coming with you. I’m not letting you out of my sight any more tonight."
So we got up together and walked hand in hand toward the food table. We fixed a couple of plates and poured a glass of soda to share, then sat down at the outer edge of the group. Bella sat in front of me, crossed legged with her plate on her lap. I could hardly take my eyes off of her. She was bathed in the soft glow from the bonfire and her eyes were reflecting me.
Bella was watching Leah and Embry out of the corner of her eye. I followed her gaze and was so surprised that they had hit it off so quickly. Then, I thought about it and it actually made sense. They’ve known each other for the longest time, and have been connected as wolves, so they know everything about each other. I guess it just took Leah letting down the wall she had built up, low enough so that Embry could come in. I’ve known he liked her for some time, but never wanted to take that first step.
"I guess you had something to do with this, didn’t you?" I asked Bella, as she looked back at me and smiled.
"She just needed to know that she’s worth having, that’s all," she replied, and I could see a blush creep into her cheeks.
It made me love her even more to know that she cared so much about Leah and the whole pack. I knew that her skin might not be as dark as the rest of us, but she had the heart of a true Quileute and it showed.
"Thanks for helping Leah. She seems happier than I’ve ever seen her," I said, taking another bite of my sandwich.
We had just finished eating, when Sam came walking over to us. Bella took our plates to the trash bag beside the food table and while was gone, Sam took the opportunity to talk with me in private.
"Jake. I want to meet with you later, when everyone starts to go home. There’s more that I need to tell you and I didn’t feel right talking about it in front of Bella. I’m sending her and Leah out for the first patrol. They need to run tonight. Don’t you think?" he said, as he looked over at Leah and Embry.
I wondered how awkward it must be for him, seeing her with one of his pack brothers, but it couldn’t hurt any worse than what he did to her with Emily. He watched them closely for a few moments, then spoke again.
"I want to help, in every way that I can Jake, for so many reasons. I’ll meet you at your garage in an hour or so. Okay?"
I didn’t want Bella to leave with Leah. And, I sure as hell didn’t want them patrolling alone, but I also wanted, no I needed, to know what Sam had to say. So, I reluctantly agreed, but told him I would be going out with them as soon as we finished our meeting. He didn’t say no, so I felt like we had made a compromise.
Bella made her way back over to where I was now standing and walked right up to Sam, taking my hand as she moved up close to him.
"Sam. I’m sorry about earlier. I’m not sure I understand everything that Jake and I are going through, but I wanted to say thanks for helping-for being there," she said, as she took his hand in hers and squeezed it.
Now this was feeling really weird and I’m not sure how I felt about Bella touching Sam, even though it was just in a friendly sort of way. I was hoping that I wouldn’t be so jumpy or suspicious or whatever the hell you call it, once Bella and I got the imprinting issues put to bed, so to speak.
"Bella, it will be okay. You and Jake can get through this and it will make you both stronger, but for now, I need you and Leah to go on patrols. Okay? You’ve got about an hour, then you get Leah and start in the forest north of La Push, then work your way back to the south. Jake will join you as soon as he can," he said.
"Okay. Okay, we will," Bella said, glancing at me.
I knew she didn’t want to leave me either, but she also knew she had to put the pack first, that I could see in her eyes.
We joined the others and hung around until things started to die down, then Bella told Leah that they had to go on patrols. She and Embry exchanges goodbyes, and Embry even gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. He told her he would see her later tonight on patrols. I pulled Bella to the side and wrapped my arms around her, picking her up so we were face to face.
"You be careful out there, okay? I’ll find you as soon as I get through meeting with Sam."
"Meeting? What meeting?" she asked.
"He just wants to talk to me about a few things. That’s all."
Then I kissed her goodbye and let her down. She and Leah looked back a few times at us, Embry had come to stand beside me, before disappearing into the trees.
"So. You and Leah?" I asked, turning to slap Embry on the shoulder.
"Hey. Don’t you start in on....."
"Embry. I’m glad for you. I’m glad for her. I think the two of you will make a great couple. You’re easy going and she’s uptight. What do they say about opposites attracting?"
We slowly walked back toward our houses, our minds’ miles away on Bella and Leah. When we got to Embry’s house, he said he would be out to patrol with Leah in an hour or so, and went inside. I walked onto my house, and around the back to my garage. Sam was already there waiting.
"So. Where do we begin?" I said, looking at him seriously.
"Well, I guess where we left off the other day. You know that once you commit yourself to someone that you love, and you decide to become one with them, mating for life if you will, that imprinting will no longer be a deterring factor in your life. And I of all people know how much that can mean, and you already know my feelings on the subject, but....."he stopped in mid sentence, and dropped his gaze to the ground.
Oh great, now he’s going to tell me that he forgot something, or something. How am I supposed to figure this out, without all of the information?
"What? What’s next?" I asked, rasing my voice an octave.
He looked back up at me, with a furrowed brow, and continued, "well. For starters, you and Bella are still in school. You’re just seventeen and the two of you have your whole lives ahead of you. Are you sure? Are you really, really sure that you want to spend it with Bella?"
His question took me off guard and I almost took offense with it. I immediately became defensive, and I guess that was proof of my answer.
"Sam, what the hell do you think?" I said, bristling and walking over in front of him.
"Whoa, whoa," he said, holding his hands up.
"You know that I love Bella and I want to be with her. After all that we have been through, how can you even ask that?"
"I just have to Jake. That’s part of helping you. What about Bella? How does she really feel?" he questioned, and I was starting to tremble at his thought process.
"Sam, Bella loves me. She was leaving, running away when she thought I was with someone else. She stood the hell up to a freaking vampire, no an entire vampire coven, and told them to leave because she had chosen to be with me. Did you hear what I said? With. Me."
Sam took what I was saying and digested it for a few minutes before continuing.
"Yeah. That’s true but...."
"Sam. In case you haven’t figured this out, we, none of us, are normal in the sense of ‘wait until you’re older, wait until you’re out of school, get an education, ask her to marry you, buy a house, settle down, and raise a family’," I almost shouted at him.
Then I lowered my voice, and told the cold hard facts. "We are wolves. You even said it yourself, by nature we are wolves. We’ve aged, our bodies are fully grown, we thrive on instinct and it’s survival of the fittest. We are what we are, and I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing, it’s just how it is. Call it a curse or a gift, it doesn’t really matter, we are what we are," I said, falling silent.
He looked at me for a long time, searching my eyes, reading my face.
"You’re right, you know. You’re right. We are different, and I think it’s a gift. I believe we are special because through fate, or circumstance, or luck, we have been given this duty and we have to fulfil it to the end, so I guess with that duty comes things that are not quite traditional in the mortal man’s world. And, for what it’s worth, I know that you two love each other. I could swear every time you look at each other that you’ve imprinted, but for whatever reason, that just isn’t the case here. But its love, it’s a very strong love and bond that you two have."
"Thanks Sam. I’m glad you see things the way I do," I replied.
My trembling had subsided and I felt more in control now. I was just thankful that he could really see how much Bella meant to me, and what I meant to her. It’s true that none of this made sense to normal people, but we were not normal, we were special, and that meant that we were governed by special circumstances.
"So, I guess the next question is, what are you going to do about it? I mean, if you and Bella mate, it’s going to make your bond ten times stronger. How will you be able to leave her every day and live apart? Have you thought about that?"
Actually I had, and that part was hard for me. I already wanted to be with Bella all of the time anyway, but we still had obligations that made this even more difficult. I wasn’t exactly sure how it would work, but where there’s a will, there has to be a way and God knows I was willing.
"I don’t know what tomorrow will bring Sam. I just know and feel, deep down, that this is what’s meant to be in mine and Bella’s lives."
"Well, I’m not trying to persuade you or anything. I just want you to know all of your options. You do know that under tribal law you’re considered an adult? If, that were to be what you and Bella wanted, you could get married here on the reservation by Quil, Sr., because he’s our chief. It would be recognized as legal here on the reservation."
I rubbed the back of my neck and ran my hand through my hair. We could be married? This was so much, so fast, and I didn’t know what Bella would think.
"Huh. That puts a new twist on things," I said, wearily.
"Yeah, it does. It sounds like you have a lot talk to her about. Why don’t you get going?" Sam said, tossing his head toward the door.
I turned to leave, but stopped before I got out the door, "um, Embry said he wanted to run patrols with.....um.....Leah tonight," I said.
"Yeah, I saw them tonight. It’s about time Leah let someone into her life again. And, if she’s going to, I’m glad it’s Embry. Not that it doesn’t hurt some, but I know he will be good to her. She deserves it."
"So, how are you going to handle Embry?"
"Embry’s my brother and Leah’s now more like a sister. There’s nothing to handle. Things will be what they are," he said with a glint of sadness showing in his eyes.
"Okay then. I guess Bella and I will take the north and Embry and Leah can take the south."
"Okay, get going. I’ll have Jared and Paul relieve you guys around midnight."
I nodded before walking out of the garage. I jogged toward the forest, took off my clothes, and phased. I immediately started trying to focus on Bella’s mind and within minutes had established a connection. She was thinking about me and talking to Leah at the same time.
It didn’t take me long to reach them and when I saw Bella, it was like seeing her again for the first time. She turned around and looked at me, just as I came into the clearing, and I could have sworn she was fluttering her long eyelashes, as she looked up at me sheepishly, or whatever the word is when you’re a wolf.
"Hey ladies. Have you found anything?" I asked as I moved in closer.
"No. No trials tonight, just peace and quiet," Leah confirmed.
"Embry’s going to be out looking for you shortly. You might want to start working your way back toward his house. You and he are going to take the south, while Bella and I cover the north, until Jared and Paul relieve us around midnight," I said, turning to Leah.
She let out a bark like laugh that told me she was thrilled at the prospect of being alone finally with Embry, even if it was in wolf form. So she said she’d see us later, and trotted off back toward La Push.
"So what did you and Sam have to talk about?" Bella asked curiously as she brought her muzzle within inches of mine.
I knew that Leah could hear everything that I would say, so I had to choose my words carefully, but I also thought it was good for her to hear some of what I told Bella, and I actually hoped that Embry was out now and could hear too. I had a feeling that they might need to know the information that I was about to share with Bella, just as much as she did.
"We talked about a few options. And now you and I need to talk about the same thing."
"Sounds serious. Should I be worried?" she asked, looking me straight in the eyes.
"Bella, how do you feel about me?"
I knew, but I really wanted her to tell me again. Besides, this was a good way for us to start talking about all the things we needed to cover.
"Jake, don’t you know that I love you by now? I know it may sound crazy, making this life altering declaration, but I can’t see my life without you. I want to be with you, eventually grow old with you, and be apart of your life. I don’t think I would be complete without you, Jake. I know I wouldn’t."
"That’s all I needed to hear, Bella," I said, gently rubbing my nose against hers. "So now all we have to do it figure out how all of this will work. But before I go any further, knowing as we do our level of commitment to each other, how would you feel if I asked you to marry me?"
I waited for a few minutes, letting my words sink in. I was actually surprised at myself that I’d been able to say it so easily. But I guess my talk with Sam had shed new light on the subject and made it sound not quite so out of reach.
"I’m not sure how, or when, or anything, but my answer would be yes," she replied, and I heard her cough like she might be getting chocked up, then I saw tears glistening on her sable fur as they ran silently down her face.
"Oh, that’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear you say. I’ve dreamed of asking you to marry me for a long time, but I never thought it would be this way and so soon. But I want to do this right honey. I want it to be as perfect for you as it can be, it will just be different. You know that don’t you?"
"Yes, I think I do Jake. But how....?"
"I’m technically considered an adult here on the reservation and I can apply for a tribal marriage license without needing consent. You are already eighteen, so you don’t need it either. If we get married, here on the reservation, we will be legally married under tribal law, then things will be almost perfect when we come together strengthening our bond with each other."
"Jake, it sounds wonderful but...."
"I know. What about our parents? And what about school? Well, my dad probably will be the most understanding and I can’t see him objecting. It’s your family that would not understand and they would be the ones to object I’m sure. I’m not saying anything bad about them, I’d probably be the same way if it were my daughter and things were normal."
"You’re right. My dad.... Jake, what are we going to do? I can’t wait, we can’t wait around until it’s too late and one of us imprints. I think it would kill me Jake. I don’t think I could take it. Either way. If it happened to me, I couldn’t live with the guilt and the hurt I’d brought to you, and if it happened to you, I would die of a broken heart."
"Bella, if we choose to do this, we would have to keep it a secret, just like the wolf is secret, for a while. At least until you get out of school, which is just a few more months. Then maybe my dad can convince Charlie that we need to be together and he’d give his consent for us to have a traditional wedding. I could still go to school, but by then I could leave at noon if I was in the vocational program and go to work. We could get a little apartment or house maybe here in La Push so we could still be close to the pack."
"Oh, Jake. It sounds wonderful. Do you think it will work?"
"We won’t know until we give it a try, if you’re willing. It’s you who would have the biggest burden, living with secrets every day, living two lives so to speak."
"But, Jake? What about us? When would be together?"
I rubbed my head against hers and licked her ear.
"That would be the hardest part of all. I’m sure you could persuade Charlie into letting you spend at least every other weekend at Leah’s. Then we could be together somehow. Maybe you could get out of your house every now and then and we could see each other in the forest, or on patrols. I don’t know, but it won’t be easy. I’m not sure I can stand being away from you. It’s getting harder to do that now."
"Jake, I want to try. It has to work out. It just has to. Yes, I want to marry you, regardless of where or how, and I want to be with you as much as possible. When is my only question?"
"Well with this celebration lasting through tomorrow, and my needing to probably fill out some paperwork with the council, it would most likely have to be next weekend. Are you sure about this?"
"I’ve never been surer. If I have to keep it a secret, so be it. It will be worth it in the long run knowing you are mine and that we have each other."
"You’ve made me the happiest man, or wolf, in the world. Bella, let’s run. Come on and run with me."
So we took off together running through the night. We made our rounds and circled back toward La Push. Around midnight, Paul and Jared joined us and took over the patrols. Leah and Embry went home, but I asked Bella if she wanted to stay with me in the forest that night.
I knew it wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but I found a nice pile of dried leaves and we lay down, snuggling up with each other and kept each other warm all night. It was our first night together and I would always remember it, even if all we did was sleep beside each other.