The Wolf Within
Title: The Wolf Within
Chapter: Eight - He Said, "Things Might Have Been Different"
Time: New Moon
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I don't own or claim to own these characters, they belong to SMeyer.
Summary: Jake, Bella, and the rest of the pack destroy the remaining newborns and Sam reveals some painful truths to Jake. Jake must tell Bella, but how? I wanted this chapter to set the stage for a very important turning point in Jake and Bella's relationship. Something that means forever for them both. This chapter is from Jake's POV.
I couldn’t believe no one tried to stop her or that she had run head first into danger using herself as bait, when I had told her all I wanted was for her to be safe. It had all happened so fast, that I didn’t have time to do anything but follow her and hide behind the tree near where she stood like a coward, feeling helpless while she put her life on the line again.
If it hadn’t been for Sam giving me a direct order, using his Alpha status to control me, I would have lunged at the pale heartless corps of a creature that stood before her. When he started looking at her like she was his dinner and called her ‘pretty one’ I almost lost it. Everything inside of me, my heart and mind were screaming for me to save her, but Sam’s orders stood and my feet would not obey.
Sam was yelling at me in my mind and I felt the rage and conflict building inside of me. I wanted to explode and rip through that cold stone like flesh of the creature taunting Bella. I heard Leah too, telling me to stay calm and wait for the right moment, that Bella was doing fine, but all I could see was blood, the blood in the vampires eyes, that could have been Bella’s.
I watched as he lulled her into his trance, I heard her thoughts faintly; I knew she was in trouble and I hated him for doing that to her; I wanted to take him down. But she was strong, stronger than I had given her credit for, and she pulled out of it just in time. Then her rage, resentment, and disgust at what he was took over and the heat started pulling at her like a furnace freshly stoked until she let it take over and consume her, transforming her into the beautiful sable wolf.
When the vampire saw Bella leap into the air and come down in front of him bearing razors for teeth, he was taken off guard, but that only lasted for a split second, before he lunged at her. I dove in between them knocking Bella aside; he was not going to get a chance to hurt her. He was mine.
The moves were fast and intense, I heard all the voices, the pack’s, Sam’s, and Bella’s, but I tuned them out, it was just me and the bloodsucker, one on one, and I was pissed. My blind rage was all powerful as I grabbed him by the arm and began to sling my head back and forth.
His shrill wail of pain struck through the forest like a bolt of lightening and it made me more intent than ever. Then he brought his knee up into my chest and pushed trying to dislodge me, but I didn’t let go, so I tore shreds of white steel from his arm as I flew back, landed on the ground, then sprang back at him again.
He tried to maneuver himself in between two nearby trees for protection, but I was fast and came at him from the side, locking my jaws around his shoulder this time. I pulled back with all my strength and his arm came with me. I landed back on all fours and slung the arm into the trees and it echoed as it struck the ground.
It wasn’t until I saw him staggering around in agony that I realized that Bella was now beside me. One brief glimpse into her brown eyes, told me we would be working as a team, so together we proceeded toward him, each of us attacking from a different side.
Bella locked onto the one arm and shoulder that remained, dragging him to the ground, while I lunged at and struck him in the throat, grinding my teeth through with precision until I felt my teeth clamp down in the middle, signifying the removal of his head from his torso.
I looked up to see Bella staring at me and aside from the adrenaline, rush, and every other emotion that was coursing through me, I immediately noticed that she looked different somehow. There was a hint of daylight still streaming through the tree tops and it seemed to dance along her fur causing it to shimmer.
She mesmerized me with her beauty and gracefulness as she paced around the corpse of the vampire, as if watching for signs of it returning to is former state. I knew the others were still battling with the remaining vampires, but I couldn’t pull myself from the hold Bella had on me just then.
I found myself aching to be near her, to touch her, to taste her lips on mine. I’ve never experienced anything so strong in all my life and I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I had to get nearer to her.
Cautiously, I inched my way toward her. She was still pacing around the lifeless figure lying on the ground when I approached. I sniffed the air and her sweet musky odor nearly intoxicated me. I closed the distance and tentatively slid my nose in close by her ear. Again, her scent cascaded upon my senses and I found myself licking her mussel again.
Then it hit me like the rubble of an old building being torn down. Imprinting! Up until that point, I’m sure my thoughts had been somewhat incoherent and jumbled, because they were even that to me, but when that word presented itself in my mind, I closed down and refused to let my thoughts flow any longer. I knew I had to talk with Sam, alone as soon as possible.
I just let myself float on the sea of feelings that were radiating from my heart throughout my entire body and I rubbed my check against Bella’s as she did the same. We stood there amongst the trees, lost in our own little world, touching, licking, and sniffing each other.
When the forest finally grew quiet, and the others emerged victorious from their various places of battle, they came to regroup with us. It was then that Sam was able to reconnect with me and brought my focus back to what had been happening around us.
"Jake. I need you to help us clean up their bodies and start the fire. Leah is going to take Bella home, before Charlie gets worried."
"Sam. I can’t.....she can’t go.....I need...."
"Jake. You and I need to talk," was all he said.
I knew he was right and I did want to talk to him, but I didn’t want Bella to leave. I couldn’t stand not being with her, especially right now. I turned to where Bella had been standing and she was gone, but soon reappeared from the cover of the trees with Leah and they were both in human form.
I quickly followed suit and transformed, running back to Bella’s side.
"Hey. Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?"
"No, he never got a chance. Someone bumped me out of the way. Remember?"
"I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand the way he was talking to you and looking at you. I was trying to protect you."
"Well, I’m glad that it’s over now. Maybe we can get on with our lives," she said, as she pushed herself up on her tip toes to give me a kiss.
Her lips tasted so sweet and her skin was so soft. I ran my hand over her cheek and placed my forehead on hers. I didn’t want to let her out of my site, until I figured this whole thing out, but it looked like I had no choice.
"Can I come over and see you tonight?"
"Sure Jake. We can have some pie and you can stay for a while?"
"I’d like that. I’ll see you then?"
"Okay."
She turned and with Leah by her side, they ran into the forest in the direction of Forks. As I watched them go, I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Sam looking at me with a depth I hadn’t seen before.
"So, do you want to talk about what just happened?"
"Yeah. It hit me like a two-by-four that imprinting is no longer just an issue for me, but it is for Bella too. Sam, I just got her back, I can’t lose her again. Even though I despise imprinting and the freedom of choice it takes away from you, I’m beginning to wish it would happen to me with Bella," I said, lowering my head, looking at the ground.
I knew the pain that imprinting had caused, but I also knew how I felt right now, thinking that Bella might see someone else and....I could hardly bring myself to think it....she might imprint on them.
Sam lowered his arm and leaned against a nearby tree. It was still and quiet, except for the sound of the others in the distance gathering the pieces of mangled metallic flesh to be burned.
"Jake. I have to live with what happened to me and Emily and Leah, but I know things now. I’ve spent a lot of time with the elders and have researched our history extensively. I want what’s best for you and for Bella, you are both family to me now."
I looked at him with confusion clouding my thoughts. He was always giving me orders and pushing, pushing, but now he seemed genuine and sincere, so I stood there listening, waiting.
"We are now by nature wolves," he said, looking down at the dirt and leaves under his feet. "If I’d known, or if the chain of events hadn’t unfolded the way they did, I might have...."
He looked back up at me with a troubled look in his eyes, "Jake. What do you know about wolves?"
"What do you mean, ‘what do I know’?"
"Let me put it this way. What do you know about the mating habits of wolves?"
"Oh. Um, well, I’ve heard they form a very strong bond and they mate for life. I’m not sure if that’s true or not though."
"Well, in fact there is truth to that myth and it applies to us too, Jake," I watched, as he shifted his position against the tree and peered out into the tree lined vastness before him.
His voice was low and deep, almost like he didn’t want the others to hear him. I stared in awe as he continued.
"You know if she had changed around the same time I did, we would have been good, everything would have worked out for us, and we would have mated for life," he said, almost in a whisper still staring into the trees, and pulling the bark off a small twig he held in his hands.
His words hit close to home and I found myself feeling sorry for him, for Leah, and even Emily. But, I wasn’t sure I understood how it all worked.
"So, if Leah had changed about the same time as you, the imprinting wouldn’t have happened? The love you and Leah shared would have grown even stronger and you would have bonded by mating, then been together for life? How is that so different from imprinting?"
Sam looked uneasy. And I wasn’t sure he was going to answer me, but to my surprise, he continued.
"We loved each other Jake, but when I become the wolf I thought I was a freak, an animal, a monster. I shut her out and wouldn’t let her reach me, so our love was tested, we were strained, then before we could work through things, I....I saw Emily and the rest you know all too well."
"Why do you think we imprint Sam? And in some cases, why not at all?"
"Well, from what I’ve learned, with us, just like with the wolf in the wild, the center of its existence is to mate and reproduce thus keeping its species alive and thriving. You might say it’s the circle of life. Of course with us, our main purpose is to protect our people from what we destroyed here today, but we are also one with the wolf of the wild so it’s only natural for us to find a mate so that the protector gene can be passed from generation to generation. But when you aren’t already set on that path with someone special in your life, then imprinting comes into play."
"Sam, I still don’t think I understand," I said, looking at him with confusion.
"Well, if by the time we reach full manhood, as far as being a wolf goes, and we haven’t found someone we are attracted to and love, then it’s possible that imprinting will occur as natures way of helping out so that our gene’s are passed on. Jake, don’t get me wrong, I love Emily and nothing will ever change that. I’m drawn to her like a moth to a flame and there’s no way around that, but I also loved Leah. The feelings I had for her are still there in a way, but they’ve been suppressed because of the overwhelming power of imprinting."
"So, why are you telling me all of this?"
"Because, if someone had told me what I’m telling you, I might have done things differently," he said, looking down at the ground again, almost with an air of longing in his demeanor, then he continued, "things might have turned out...."
I tried to digest everything that he was telling me and tried to summarize it in my mind. He and Leah loved each other, he turned into a wolf and if she had turned around the same time, they were already close so they could have chosen to become mates and bonded for life. This same thing applies to me and Bella then, I thought. We had a choice and needed to talk about it, before imprinting could wreck our lives.
"Thanks Sam. I guess I need to talk with Bella and tell her what we’re facing."
I wasn’t sure how to approach the subject, but I knew I was ready to commit my life to being with Bella. The thought of our choice being taken away from us by some genetic encoding for reproducing and insuring the existence of our species didn’t appeal to me.
"Jake, I wish I could help more, but I guess you’re on your own. I know Bella loves you. Things may not be as difficult as you’re thinking."
"I hope you’re right," I said, as we both made our way to where the others had gathered around the heaping pile of remains. We all watched in silence as Sam struck a match with his thumbnail and flung it onto the pyre which caught immediately and soon formed a roaring blaze that sent the sickeningly sweet aroma into the air along with the purplish black smoke.
When the last embers had died down, I told the others goodbye and started running for Forks. I knew I wouldn’t have much time with her, considering it was a school night, but maybe Charlie would let me visit for a little while.
I phased when I got out of sight of the others and let my speed pick up. I made it to Bella’s house in less than ten minutes, phased again, and slid into my cut offs and T-shirt. I smiled when she opened the door. I hadn’t even knocked. I liked the fact that she had new abilities due to her transformation.
"Did you get it all taken care of?" she asked, as she let me in.
"Yeah, we took care of everything. What are you and Leah up to?
"Leah’s taking a shower and Charlie’s in his room looking for something. Do you want that piece of pie I promised?"
She was already moving into the kitchen, and I followed. Again, I found myself wanting to take her in my arms and hold her, never letting her go. I wanted to protect her and I didn’t want imprinting to come between us, like it had Sam and Leah. But, at the moment, I just didn’t know what to say. I was at a loss for words on the subject, so I decided to try and discuss it later.
"Pie? Sure, sure. Thanks."
I watched her as she retrieved the pie, sliced it, and proceeded to the microwave. Her chestnut hair was slightly tangled from battle we had just been through and her phasing, but it was beautiful as it hung down her back and splayed across her shoulders. She smiled at me when she handed me the piece of pie and the look in her eyes was breathtaking.
I sat the pie on the table then reached up to caress her cheek.
"Have I told you today how beautiful you are?"
"No, I don’t think you have," she said, as crimson coloring crept up her neck and face.
I had just placed my lips to hers and wrapped my arms around her shoulders when Leah came into the kitchen.
"You better cut that out, Charlie’s on his way downstairs," she warned.
I hesitantly pulled away as Bella smiled sheepishly at me. I took a seat at the table, retrieved my slice of pie and took my first bite. Leah and Bella joined me and began chatting about what we’d all just been through.
"They didn’t give any indication that there were more of them, the newborns in Victoria’s little army, that is," Leah said quietly, "maybe we got all of them and this thing is over."
Bella looked down at the table.
"I hope so. There’s so much that’s happened in a short time for me that I....I can’t wrap my mind around it all."
She looked up at me and her eyes seemed to pierce me with conviction and sincerity.
"There’s so much more now. I want to experience everything, learn everything, with you Jake."
I swallowed hard. I knew she probably meant about being a werewolf, but the tone of her voice, the look she was giving me, made me think she felt at least a little of what I was feeling, the need to be closer, to be together.
We sat like that, just staring at each other for the longest time, and even Leah had joined in, so I realized, when Charlie came into the kitchen and broke through our silence.
"Hey Jake. I haven’t seen you in a while. How’s Billy?"
"He’s good. He’s been hoping you would ask him over for the next big game. You know your big screen beats our small set any day."
"That’s a great idea. I’ll go call him now and we’ll make plans."
I watched as Charlie wheeled and walked into the living room to use the phone, leaving us to the silence again. But Leah couldn’t stand much more of it.
"Jake. Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, yeah. I’m fine," I replied.
I finished the pie, got up and went to the sink to wash my plate. I heard footsteps and turned to see Charlie coming back into the kitchen.
"Well Jake, this weekend is out for television. Billy says you guys have some big shindig going on down on the reservation that will last most of the weekend. So, we made plans for the following weekend. You’re welcome to come too."
"Thanks Charlie. You know I wouldn’t miss being here for anything. I guess I better be going so I can find out what the big ‘shindig’ is for," I said, drying my hands on the nearby towel.
"Okay Jake, see you later," he said, as he went back to the living room and collapsed on the sofa.
I didn’t want to leave, but now my curiosity was getting the best of me. Bella came over and took my hand pulling it up to her face.
"I wish you didn’t have to go," she said, kissing the knuckles of the hand she was holding.
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. Her touch made my skin tingle and I didn’t want the moment to end. When I opened my eyes, she was smiling at me, so I pulled her along as I made my way to the front door.
I told Leah goodbye as we left the kitchen and she just laughed as she got up and went to join Charlie.
Bella eased the door closed behind us as we stood on the front porch under the cover of darkness. It wasn’t really dark to either of us though, due to our intensified eyesight.
Placing one arm, palm against the wall above Bella’s head, I placed the other hand on her waist and pulled her close to me.
"You were right in there you know? There has been a lot happening lately and I’m ready for things to slow down. I want to spend time with you. We need to....we just need to be together."
"I like the sound of that Jake," she said, reaching up to take my face in her small hands.
"Jake. I feel different right now. I can’t exactly put my finger on what it is, but I feel so alive and close to you right here at this moment."
I wanted to answer her, I wanted to tell her what Sam had shared with me, but I couldn’t just spring this forever stuff on her like that. The time would have to be right.
"I feel it too Bella, and I know that I love you now more than ever," I said, placing my lips upon her forehead.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asked, with a pleading expression.
"I’ll see you right after school."
We kissed one last time, then I ran into the forest, fading into the shadows. I knew she lingered there watching me, I could feel her stare and even though she didn’t realize it she was calling to me.
Chapter: Eight - He Said, "Things Might Have Been Different"
Time: New Moon
Rating: PG-13
Notes: I don't own or claim to own these characters, they belong to SMeyer.
Summary: Jake, Bella, and the rest of the pack destroy the remaining newborns and Sam reveals some painful truths to Jake. Jake must tell Bella, but how? I wanted this chapter to set the stage for a very important turning point in Jake and Bella's relationship. Something that means forever for them both. This chapter is from Jake's POV.
I couldn’t believe no one tried to stop her or that she had run head first into danger using herself as bait, when I had told her all I wanted was for her to be safe. It had all happened so fast, that I didn’t have time to do anything but follow her and hide behind the tree near where she stood like a coward, feeling helpless while she put her life on the line again.
If it hadn’t been for Sam giving me a direct order, using his Alpha status to control me, I would have lunged at the pale heartless corps of a creature that stood before her. When he started looking at her like she was his dinner and called her ‘pretty one’ I almost lost it. Everything inside of me, my heart and mind were screaming for me to save her, but Sam’s orders stood and my feet would not obey.
Sam was yelling at me in my mind and I felt the rage and conflict building inside of me. I wanted to explode and rip through that cold stone like flesh of the creature taunting Bella. I heard Leah too, telling me to stay calm and wait for the right moment, that Bella was doing fine, but all I could see was blood, the blood in the vampires eyes, that could have been Bella’s.
I watched as he lulled her into his trance, I heard her thoughts faintly; I knew she was in trouble and I hated him for doing that to her; I wanted to take him down. But she was strong, stronger than I had given her credit for, and she pulled out of it just in time. Then her rage, resentment, and disgust at what he was took over and the heat started pulling at her like a furnace freshly stoked until she let it take over and consume her, transforming her into the beautiful sable wolf.
When the vampire saw Bella leap into the air and come down in front of him bearing razors for teeth, he was taken off guard, but that only lasted for a split second, before he lunged at her. I dove in between them knocking Bella aside; he was not going to get a chance to hurt her. He was mine.
The moves were fast and intense, I heard all the voices, the pack’s, Sam’s, and Bella’s, but I tuned them out, it was just me and the bloodsucker, one on one, and I was pissed. My blind rage was all powerful as I grabbed him by the arm and began to sling my head back and forth.
His shrill wail of pain struck through the forest like a bolt of lightening and it made me more intent than ever. Then he brought his knee up into my chest and pushed trying to dislodge me, but I didn’t let go, so I tore shreds of white steel from his arm as I flew back, landed on the ground, then sprang back at him again.
He tried to maneuver himself in between two nearby trees for protection, but I was fast and came at him from the side, locking my jaws around his shoulder this time. I pulled back with all my strength and his arm came with me. I landed back on all fours and slung the arm into the trees and it echoed as it struck the ground.
It wasn’t until I saw him staggering around in agony that I realized that Bella was now beside me. One brief glimpse into her brown eyes, told me we would be working as a team, so together we proceeded toward him, each of us attacking from a different side.
Bella locked onto the one arm and shoulder that remained, dragging him to the ground, while I lunged at and struck him in the throat, grinding my teeth through with precision until I felt my teeth clamp down in the middle, signifying the removal of his head from his torso.
I looked up to see Bella staring at me and aside from the adrenaline, rush, and every other emotion that was coursing through me, I immediately noticed that she looked different somehow. There was a hint of daylight still streaming through the tree tops and it seemed to dance along her fur causing it to shimmer.
She mesmerized me with her beauty and gracefulness as she paced around the corpse of the vampire, as if watching for signs of it returning to is former state. I knew the others were still battling with the remaining vampires, but I couldn’t pull myself from the hold Bella had on me just then.
I found myself aching to be near her, to touch her, to taste her lips on mine. I’ve never experienced anything so strong in all my life and I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I had to get nearer to her.
Cautiously, I inched my way toward her. She was still pacing around the lifeless figure lying on the ground when I approached. I sniffed the air and her sweet musky odor nearly intoxicated me. I closed the distance and tentatively slid my nose in close by her ear. Again, her scent cascaded upon my senses and I found myself licking her mussel again.
Then it hit me like the rubble of an old building being torn down. Imprinting! Up until that point, I’m sure my thoughts had been somewhat incoherent and jumbled, because they were even that to me, but when that word presented itself in my mind, I closed down and refused to let my thoughts flow any longer. I knew I had to talk with Sam, alone as soon as possible.
I just let myself float on the sea of feelings that were radiating from my heart throughout my entire body and I rubbed my check against Bella’s as she did the same. We stood there amongst the trees, lost in our own little world, touching, licking, and sniffing each other.
When the forest finally grew quiet, and the others emerged victorious from their various places of battle, they came to regroup with us. It was then that Sam was able to reconnect with me and brought my focus back to what had been happening around us.
"Jake. I need you to help us clean up their bodies and start the fire. Leah is going to take Bella home, before Charlie gets worried."
"Sam. I can’t.....she can’t go.....I need...."
"Jake. You and I need to talk," was all he said.
I knew he was right and I did want to talk to him, but I didn’t want Bella to leave. I couldn’t stand not being with her, especially right now. I turned to where Bella had been standing and she was gone, but soon reappeared from the cover of the trees with Leah and they were both in human form.
I quickly followed suit and transformed, running back to Bella’s side.
"Hey. Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?"
"No, he never got a chance. Someone bumped me out of the way. Remember?"
"I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand the way he was talking to you and looking at you. I was trying to protect you."
"Well, I’m glad that it’s over now. Maybe we can get on with our lives," she said, as she pushed herself up on her tip toes to give me a kiss.
Her lips tasted so sweet and her skin was so soft. I ran my hand over her cheek and placed my forehead on hers. I didn’t want to let her out of my site, until I figured this whole thing out, but it looked like I had no choice.
"Can I come over and see you tonight?"
"Sure Jake. We can have some pie and you can stay for a while?"
"I’d like that. I’ll see you then?"
"Okay."
She turned and with Leah by her side, they ran into the forest in the direction of Forks. As I watched them go, I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Sam looking at me with a depth I hadn’t seen before.
"So, do you want to talk about what just happened?"
"Yeah. It hit me like a two-by-four that imprinting is no longer just an issue for me, but it is for Bella too. Sam, I just got her back, I can’t lose her again. Even though I despise imprinting and the freedom of choice it takes away from you, I’m beginning to wish it would happen to me with Bella," I said, lowering my head, looking at the ground.
I knew the pain that imprinting had caused, but I also knew how I felt right now, thinking that Bella might see someone else and....I could hardly bring myself to think it....she might imprint on them.
Sam lowered his arm and leaned against a nearby tree. It was still and quiet, except for the sound of the others in the distance gathering the pieces of mangled metallic flesh to be burned.
"Jake. I have to live with what happened to me and Emily and Leah, but I know things now. I’ve spent a lot of time with the elders and have researched our history extensively. I want what’s best for you and for Bella, you are both family to me now."
I looked at him with confusion clouding my thoughts. He was always giving me orders and pushing, pushing, but now he seemed genuine and sincere, so I stood there listening, waiting.
"We are now by nature wolves," he said, looking down at the dirt and leaves under his feet. "If I’d known, or if the chain of events hadn’t unfolded the way they did, I might have...."
He looked back up at me with a troubled look in his eyes, "Jake. What do you know about wolves?"
"What do you mean, ‘what do I know’?"
"Let me put it this way. What do you know about the mating habits of wolves?"
"Oh. Um, well, I’ve heard they form a very strong bond and they mate for life. I’m not sure if that’s true or not though."
"Well, in fact there is truth to that myth and it applies to us too, Jake," I watched, as he shifted his position against the tree and peered out into the tree lined vastness before him.
His voice was low and deep, almost like he didn’t want the others to hear him. I stared in awe as he continued.
"You know if she had changed around the same time I did, we would have been good, everything would have worked out for us, and we would have mated for life," he said, almost in a whisper still staring into the trees, and pulling the bark off a small twig he held in his hands.
His words hit close to home and I found myself feeling sorry for him, for Leah, and even Emily. But, I wasn’t sure I understood how it all worked.
"So, if Leah had changed about the same time as you, the imprinting wouldn’t have happened? The love you and Leah shared would have grown even stronger and you would have bonded by mating, then been together for life? How is that so different from imprinting?"
Sam looked uneasy. And I wasn’t sure he was going to answer me, but to my surprise, he continued.
"We loved each other Jake, but when I become the wolf I thought I was a freak, an animal, a monster. I shut her out and wouldn’t let her reach me, so our love was tested, we were strained, then before we could work through things, I....I saw Emily and the rest you know all too well."
"Why do you think we imprint Sam? And in some cases, why not at all?"
"Well, from what I’ve learned, with us, just like with the wolf in the wild, the center of its existence is to mate and reproduce thus keeping its species alive and thriving. You might say it’s the circle of life. Of course with us, our main purpose is to protect our people from what we destroyed here today, but we are also one with the wolf of the wild so it’s only natural for us to find a mate so that the protector gene can be passed from generation to generation. But when you aren’t already set on that path with someone special in your life, then imprinting comes into play."
"Sam, I still don’t think I understand," I said, looking at him with confusion.
"Well, if by the time we reach full manhood, as far as being a wolf goes, and we haven’t found someone we are attracted to and love, then it’s possible that imprinting will occur as natures way of helping out so that our gene’s are passed on. Jake, don’t get me wrong, I love Emily and nothing will ever change that. I’m drawn to her like a moth to a flame and there’s no way around that, but I also loved Leah. The feelings I had for her are still there in a way, but they’ve been suppressed because of the overwhelming power of imprinting."
"So, why are you telling me all of this?"
"Because, if someone had told me what I’m telling you, I might have done things differently," he said, looking down at the ground again, almost with an air of longing in his demeanor, then he continued, "things might have turned out...."
I tried to digest everything that he was telling me and tried to summarize it in my mind. He and Leah loved each other, he turned into a wolf and if she had turned around the same time, they were already close so they could have chosen to become mates and bonded for life. This same thing applies to me and Bella then, I thought. We had a choice and needed to talk about it, before imprinting could wreck our lives.
"Thanks Sam. I guess I need to talk with Bella and tell her what we’re facing."
I wasn’t sure how to approach the subject, but I knew I was ready to commit my life to being with Bella. The thought of our choice being taken away from us by some genetic encoding for reproducing and insuring the existence of our species didn’t appeal to me.
"Jake, I wish I could help more, but I guess you’re on your own. I know Bella loves you. Things may not be as difficult as you’re thinking."
"I hope you’re right," I said, as we both made our way to where the others had gathered around the heaping pile of remains. We all watched in silence as Sam struck a match with his thumbnail and flung it onto the pyre which caught immediately and soon formed a roaring blaze that sent the sickeningly sweet aroma into the air along with the purplish black smoke.
When the last embers had died down, I told the others goodbye and started running for Forks. I knew I wouldn’t have much time with her, considering it was a school night, but maybe Charlie would let me visit for a little while.
I phased when I got out of sight of the others and let my speed pick up. I made it to Bella’s house in less than ten minutes, phased again, and slid into my cut offs and T-shirt. I smiled when she opened the door. I hadn’t even knocked. I liked the fact that she had new abilities due to her transformation.
"Did you get it all taken care of?" she asked, as she let me in.
"Yeah, we took care of everything. What are you and Leah up to?
"Leah’s taking a shower and Charlie’s in his room looking for something. Do you want that piece of pie I promised?"
She was already moving into the kitchen, and I followed. Again, I found myself wanting to take her in my arms and hold her, never letting her go. I wanted to protect her and I didn’t want imprinting to come between us, like it had Sam and Leah. But, at the moment, I just didn’t know what to say. I was at a loss for words on the subject, so I decided to try and discuss it later.
"Pie? Sure, sure. Thanks."
I watched her as she retrieved the pie, sliced it, and proceeded to the microwave. Her chestnut hair was slightly tangled from battle we had just been through and her phasing, but it was beautiful as it hung down her back and splayed across her shoulders. She smiled at me when she handed me the piece of pie and the look in her eyes was breathtaking.
I sat the pie on the table then reached up to caress her cheek.
"Have I told you today how beautiful you are?"
"No, I don’t think you have," she said, as crimson coloring crept up her neck and face.
I had just placed my lips to hers and wrapped my arms around her shoulders when Leah came into the kitchen.
"You better cut that out, Charlie’s on his way downstairs," she warned.
I hesitantly pulled away as Bella smiled sheepishly at me. I took a seat at the table, retrieved my slice of pie and took my first bite. Leah and Bella joined me and began chatting about what we’d all just been through.
"They didn’t give any indication that there were more of them, the newborns in Victoria’s little army, that is," Leah said quietly, "maybe we got all of them and this thing is over."
Bella looked down at the table.
"I hope so. There’s so much that’s happened in a short time for me that I....I can’t wrap my mind around it all."
She looked up at me and her eyes seemed to pierce me with conviction and sincerity.
"There’s so much more now. I want to experience everything, learn everything, with you Jake."
I swallowed hard. I knew she probably meant about being a werewolf, but the tone of her voice, the look she was giving me, made me think she felt at least a little of what I was feeling, the need to be closer, to be together.
We sat like that, just staring at each other for the longest time, and even Leah had joined in, so I realized, when Charlie came into the kitchen and broke through our silence.
"Hey Jake. I haven’t seen you in a while. How’s Billy?"
"He’s good. He’s been hoping you would ask him over for the next big game. You know your big screen beats our small set any day."
"That’s a great idea. I’ll go call him now and we’ll make plans."
I watched as Charlie wheeled and walked into the living room to use the phone, leaving us to the silence again. But Leah couldn’t stand much more of it.
"Jake. Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, yeah. I’m fine," I replied.
I finished the pie, got up and went to the sink to wash my plate. I heard footsteps and turned to see Charlie coming back into the kitchen.
"Well Jake, this weekend is out for television. Billy says you guys have some big shindig going on down on the reservation that will last most of the weekend. So, we made plans for the following weekend. You’re welcome to come too."
"Thanks Charlie. You know I wouldn’t miss being here for anything. I guess I better be going so I can find out what the big ‘shindig’ is for," I said, drying my hands on the nearby towel.
"Okay Jake, see you later," he said, as he went back to the living room and collapsed on the sofa.
I didn’t want to leave, but now my curiosity was getting the best of me. Bella came over and took my hand pulling it up to her face.
"I wish you didn’t have to go," she said, kissing the knuckles of the hand she was holding.
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. Her touch made my skin tingle and I didn’t want the moment to end. When I opened my eyes, she was smiling at me, so I pulled her along as I made my way to the front door.
I told Leah goodbye as we left the kitchen and she just laughed as she got up and went to join Charlie.
Bella eased the door closed behind us as we stood on the front porch under the cover of darkness. It wasn’t really dark to either of us though, due to our intensified eyesight.
Placing one arm, palm against the wall above Bella’s head, I placed the other hand on her waist and pulled her close to me.
"You were right in there you know? There has been a lot happening lately and I’m ready for things to slow down. I want to spend time with you. We need to....we just need to be together."
"I like the sound of that Jake," she said, reaching up to take my face in her small hands.
"Jake. I feel different right now. I can’t exactly put my finger on what it is, but I feel so alive and close to you right here at this moment."
I wanted to answer her, I wanted to tell her what Sam had shared with me, but I couldn’t just spring this forever stuff on her like that. The time would have to be right.
"I feel it too Bella, and I know that I love you now more than ever," I said, placing my lips upon her forehead.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asked, with a pleading expression.
"I’ll see you right after school."
We kissed one last time, then I ran into the forest, fading into the shadows. I knew she lingered there watching me, I could feel her stare and even though she didn’t realize it she was calling to me.