(no subject)
OK. I haven't updated in a while... so here I go.
I just got off the phone with Marc, my ex boyfriend. I told him that I still love him... and am kind of still in love with him, and I have been trying to find a boy to help take my mind of him. I know I cannot have any kind of relationship with Marc being 20 hours away, but I still love him so much, I want him to be a part of my life. And he feels the same way.
He said he wants me to find a boyfriend, to use the best of my time right now. And he wants me to tell him all about my boy adventures. I just have been having some problems lately with boys, they are so hard to deal with. There is one in particular (I know there is a new one every week, but...), and he has a lot of promise. I just need to convince him to make out with me. I need help, where is Feifei when I need her?
So, I will be going to New York in one month to see Marc. I told him I want to sleep in the same bed as him. I hope we will make out and have lots of sex, but will that hurt me in the long run? I feel like I need that bit of pleasure fromo him, but I don't want it to make me miss him more later. I feel bad about the way we ended the relationship-- I had prepared myself so much for his move that I didn't cry, while he bawled for an hour. I want to make it up for him, prove that I loved him, and I always will.
I really do need someone to take my mind off Marc for a while, someone I will be able to care about before and after my trip to New York-- but someone who will understand that I need to be with Marc one last time.
I told Marc that maybe one day we will end up together, afterall. He seemed to like that idea. I think I learned enough about relationships, myself, him, everything the first time through-- that one day we could do it all again, this time better than before.
I don't know, I think I should go to bed.
matt
I just got off the phone with Marc, my ex boyfriend. I told him that I still love him... and am kind of still in love with him, and I have been trying to find a boy to help take my mind of him. I know I cannot have any kind of relationship with Marc being 20 hours away, but I still love him so much, I want him to be a part of my life. And he feels the same way.
He said he wants me to find a boyfriend, to use the best of my time right now. And he wants me to tell him all about my boy adventures. I just have been having some problems lately with boys, they are so hard to deal with. There is one in particular (I know there is a new one every week, but...), and he has a lot of promise. I just need to convince him to make out with me. I need help, where is Feifei when I need her?
So, I will be going to New York in one month to see Marc. I told him I want to sleep in the same bed as him. I hope we will make out and have lots of sex, but will that hurt me in the long run? I feel like I need that bit of pleasure fromo him, but I don't want it to make me miss him more later. I feel bad about the way we ended the relationship-- I had prepared myself so much for his move that I didn't cry, while he bawled for an hour. I want to make it up for him, prove that I loved him, and I always will.
I really do need someone to take my mind off Marc for a while, someone I will be able to care about before and after my trip to New York-- but someone who will understand that I need to be with Marc one last time.
I told Marc that maybe one day we will end up together, afterall. He seemed to like that idea. I think I learned enough about relationships, myself, him, everything the first time through-- that one day we could do it all again, this time better than before.
I don't know, I think I should go to bed.
matt