(no subject)
LIve Journal is 10 years old! Do you see that cake in the upper right hand corner of your login?
I had forgotten about livejournal, but recently painted the insides of my house yellow and blue and was thinking, wow I really like these colors together. Oh wow, it reminds me of my livejournal color scheme. I say this to the guy I met off okcupid. We chatted a bit, he tells me he has no job, I offer him a job painting my house. Some choose internet dating to get laid.. I find cheap labor.
So, in honor of this 10 year celebration, I'm going to do a little looking back at the last 6 summers! I've had this journal.
Year one, 2003 - Summer after sophomore year of college. Sadly, there were no entries in June, 2003. This was because I did not have internet access at home. I honestly have no idea how I survived. Here's a snippet from July. Apparently, "I do NOT have the internet at home, and you know what, it's GREAT. Unfortunately, instead of the internet I watch t.v. too frequently, but whateva"
So there you go, and now, I just watch tv on my computer. I do need more time for myself though, that's for sure.
I loved loved loved my job.
I love my job. I am a recreation aide working with severely mentally retarded clients. We have all sorts of fun, go to the movies, eat a lot, watch a lot of movies, do crafts. I've fallen in love with all of them over these last 3 summers and they're like my kids, only at least twice my age yet still pooping in diapers and most of them can't talk.
Year two, 2004 Summer after junior year of college. I so boldy declare, "Since this is probably the last time I'll be living in South Central VA and after I graduate, possibly the last time in the South, I've decided to try and keep an account of weird things that I think are normal." Well goodness gracious, did I get that one wrong. I'm in fucking Texas now.
This was also the summer in which "i moved! i share a room with my little 15 year old brother Now he's no longer a teenager. It takes a special brother/sister relationship to somehow share a tiny room for a couple months with a 21/15 age difference.
Year three 2005. Welcome to the real world, Lee Harper. There's a ton of entries around this time. You too can trace the extreme highs and lows that was ending a long distance relationship. Looking back, I have no idea how the fuck I did that. Or why we did that. I guess it was a crazy dose of love. It started out amazing, me sharing mundane conversations about us actually getting to see each other.
M0nkeymann: so we could go when you get here
BhappB: haha okay, sounds like a plan
Which eventually led to
" So yeah, Nick and I are on a break. He's still coming to see me tomorrow and we talk everyday and say I love you and stuff still but it's just not as serious or something."
Which then led to...
No quotes are necessary for that pain in my life.
Self revelations: both terrible: "I am going to be working for the rest of my life.
Soul crusher."
and great: "my inner hippie nearly orgasmed today during my first yoga class. "
It's quite bizarre to just see your entire world completely crumble through an internet journal. Trying to pick out the fun, crazy things in your life to tell everyone when inside you're completely broken. That was the longest year of my life.
Year four 2006
I decided to do something for myself and travel to Ireland, alone. I left the same day Nick graduated from college. I like picking significant dates to do significant things. I had an amazing time. I declared to the internet world (for the first time) that "So, within a year’s time, I’m going to be living and working abroad.". I think I went through several other countries after that. This was my first, I gotta get the hell out of here revelation.
I moved in with Christina and fell in love with my neighborhood. I bought a bike! I started hanging out with the Bulgarians. Started to try and build a little life in NYC for me.
Year five 2007
I have absolutely no Summer entries this year. I start out in early May with my Jerry Falwell obituary and it it with September declaring my love for seasons. Did this summer even exist?
"And here we all are fumbling along in this busy big sea, pushing money around, drinking beer, meeting new people, playing sports, playing instruments, reading, writing, smoking. "
I think this is when it finally hit home that life is just not going to turn out how I think it's going to and started to embrace that. I stopped beating myself up on not being what and where I had planned and began to realize again that I need to set myself up to be in the best situation I can and things just aren't as simple as they used to be.
Year six 2008
I got the fuck out of NYC. After a winter of me saving money, hating my job, drinking at this shitty happy hour bar, smoking scwhag alone in my house and watching Two and a Half Men, because nothing else was on and we had no cable... I had enough. "I planned my move to Austin on a cocktail napkin on Thursday night and now here it is nearly 4 a.m. and I can't stop thinking, researching, guessing about it. ... But, I've put a ton of thought into this and nothing's really keeping me here beyond me hoping that things will change and work will change and weather will change and people will change. When, really, I need to do something to change my situation.
Words to live by.
Which resulted in:
"Austin's better than I thought it would be - which is pretty tough because I was expecting grandness. I've been here 2 1/2 weeks. I almost don't know what to type. Generally when I'm happy and feeling fulfilled I have difficulty writing - so that's good. I should have written a novel in New York. "
Year seven 2009
I'm currently laying in bed with my overhead fan banging against the blades. My dog just woke up out of her bed and is coming to cuddle with me. I had a delicious dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. I don't have to go to an office tomorrow, but can choose to go to a coworking space when I feel like it. I'm going to finish up painting my house and make plans for what I want to do for my back yard so I can best have parties for all my friends. My friends have changed since I moved here and I'm hoping to continue to surround myself with amazing, inspiring, nice people. I need to get my bike fixed so I can continue my routine of riding to Barton Springs and swimming for an hour. I have no serious guy, but I'm sort of looking, and there's a few out there that are keeping my attention. And I'm okay with that.
I love the summer time. I love where I am right now in my life. I wish Austin was magically closer to all my friends and family on the East coast. But, I'm not planning my next move - nor eagerly awaiting my next trip. I'm certainly not settled, but much closer to being at peace. And I'm happy to be adding yet another masturbatory entry to my seven year old livejournal.
Love,
Lee
I had forgotten about livejournal, but recently painted the insides of my house yellow and blue and was thinking, wow I really like these colors together. Oh wow, it reminds me of my livejournal color scheme. I say this to the guy I met off okcupid. We chatted a bit, he tells me he has no job, I offer him a job painting my house. Some choose internet dating to get laid.. I find cheap labor.
So, in honor of this 10 year celebration, I'm going to do a little looking back at the last 6 summers! I've had this journal.
Year one, 2003 - Summer after sophomore year of college. Sadly, there were no entries in June, 2003. This was because I did not have internet access at home. I honestly have no idea how I survived. Here's a snippet from July. Apparently, "I do NOT have the internet at home, and you know what, it's GREAT. Unfortunately, instead of the internet I watch t.v. too frequently, but whateva"
So there you go, and now, I just watch tv on my computer. I do need more time for myself though, that's for sure.
I loved loved loved my job.
I love my job. I am a recreation aide working with severely mentally retarded clients. We have all sorts of fun, go to the movies, eat a lot, watch a lot of movies, do crafts. I've fallen in love with all of them over these last 3 summers and they're like my kids, only at least twice my age yet still pooping in diapers and most of them can't talk.
Year two, 2004 Summer after junior year of college. I so boldy declare, "Since this is probably the last time I'll be living in South Central VA and after I graduate, possibly the last time in the South, I've decided to try and keep an account of weird things that I think are normal." Well goodness gracious, did I get that one wrong. I'm in fucking Texas now.
This was also the summer in which "i moved! i share a room with my little 15 year old brother Now he's no longer a teenager. It takes a special brother/sister relationship to somehow share a tiny room for a couple months with a 21/15 age difference.
Year three 2005. Welcome to the real world, Lee Harper. There's a ton of entries around this time. You too can trace the extreme highs and lows that was ending a long distance relationship. Looking back, I have no idea how the fuck I did that. Or why we did that. I guess it was a crazy dose of love. It started out amazing, me sharing mundane conversations about us actually getting to see each other.
M0nkeymann: so we could go when you get here
BhappB: haha okay, sounds like a plan
Which eventually led to
" So yeah, Nick and I are on a break. He's still coming to see me tomorrow and we talk everyday and say I love you and stuff still but it's just not as serious or something."
Which then led to...
No quotes are necessary for that pain in my life.
Self revelations: both terrible: "I am going to be working for the rest of my life.
Soul crusher."
and great: "my inner hippie nearly orgasmed today during my first yoga class. "
It's quite bizarre to just see your entire world completely crumble through an internet journal. Trying to pick out the fun, crazy things in your life to tell everyone when inside you're completely broken. That was the longest year of my life.
Year four 2006
I decided to do something for myself and travel to Ireland, alone. I left the same day Nick graduated from college. I like picking significant dates to do significant things. I had an amazing time. I declared to the internet world (for the first time) that "So, within a year’s time, I’m going to be living and working abroad.". I think I went through several other countries after that. This was my first, I gotta get the hell out of here revelation.
I moved in with Christina and fell in love with my neighborhood. I bought a bike! I started hanging out with the Bulgarians. Started to try and build a little life in NYC for me.
Year five 2007
I have absolutely no Summer entries this year. I start out in early May with my Jerry Falwell obituary and it it with September declaring my love for seasons. Did this summer even exist?
"And here we all are fumbling along in this busy big sea, pushing money around, drinking beer, meeting new people, playing sports, playing instruments, reading, writing, smoking. "
I think this is when it finally hit home that life is just not going to turn out how I think it's going to and started to embrace that. I stopped beating myself up on not being what and where I had planned and began to realize again that I need to set myself up to be in the best situation I can and things just aren't as simple as they used to be.
Year six 2008
I got the fuck out of NYC. After a winter of me saving money, hating my job, drinking at this shitty happy hour bar, smoking scwhag alone in my house and watching Two and a Half Men, because nothing else was on and we had no cable... I had enough. "I planned my move to Austin on a cocktail napkin on Thursday night and now here it is nearly 4 a.m. and I can't stop thinking, researching, guessing about it. ... But, I've put a ton of thought into this and nothing's really keeping me here beyond me hoping that things will change and work will change and weather will change and people will change. When, really, I need to do something to change my situation.
Words to live by.
Which resulted in:
"Austin's better than I thought it would be - which is pretty tough because I was expecting grandness. I've been here 2 1/2 weeks. I almost don't know what to type. Generally when I'm happy and feeling fulfilled I have difficulty writing - so that's good. I should have written a novel in New York. "
Year seven 2009
I'm currently laying in bed with my overhead fan banging against the blades. My dog just woke up out of her bed and is coming to cuddle with me. I had a delicious dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. I don't have to go to an office tomorrow, but can choose to go to a coworking space when I feel like it. I'm going to finish up painting my house and make plans for what I want to do for my back yard so I can best have parties for all my friends. My friends have changed since I moved here and I'm hoping to continue to surround myself with amazing, inspiring, nice people. I need to get my bike fixed so I can continue my routine of riding to Barton Springs and swimming for an hour. I have no serious guy, but I'm sort of looking, and there's a few out there that are keeping my attention. And I'm okay with that.
I love the summer time. I love where I am right now in my life. I wish Austin was magically closer to all my friends and family on the East coast. But, I'm not planning my next move - nor eagerly awaiting my next trip. I'm certainly not settled, but much closer to being at peace. And I'm happy to be adding yet another masturbatory entry to my seven year old livejournal.
Love,
Lee