How could such a king shine his light on me and make everything beautiful again? it'll be alright.."
"but i guess the bottom line is that you shouldnt worry about tomorrow because everything is in God's hands..its just a matter of surrendering everything to him..."
That was something i wrote in here in october. I was bored in class so i started reminiscing and reading old emails and old entries and fun stuff like that. For some reason ive been reminiscing alot lately. I've decided that i wish i was 16 again. Those were the days huh? Go to school everyday, see your friends, go to basketball and win everything while seeing your friends, go home, take a nap then see you friends, Go to work make money while seeing your friends, then go to youthgroup and church and learn about God while being with some of the best friends God could have ever sent me. Seriously, that was the life. Now that i look back, life as a 16 year old wasnt as bad as i thought it was. ....sigh....'youth's the most unfaithful mistress, but still we forge ahead to miss her'
but back to what i was saying in the beginning...Its funny how i said that less than two months ago and i have so easily forgotten. Maybe its because i've been stressed lately with school ending...what am i gonna do? yes, it is awesome that i have a degree only a year and a half out of highschool...but its also very scary. i think i'm having trouble convincing myself that i'm an adult. I'm 20 and out of college...no way...i think its inconceivable. i dont think i know all i should know to just go out into my field and pick up a full time job as a designer. i dont feel ready. So what do i do, go back to school? i suppose that would be the logical answer huh? really, its just a matter of surrendering everything to God. i know what i have to do. rely completely on him and, like becky was saying, step out into the rain. step into his will. but how will i know i'm in his will? is not knowing if im in his will actually being in his will? Surrender. thats the answer, hands down.
i know what I want to do, but alas, it may not be what i'm supposed to be doing. our ways are not his ways. His way is at the top of my list above not only my way but also the way other people think i should go.
That was something i wrote in here in october. I was bored in class so i started reminiscing and reading old emails and old entries and fun stuff like that. For some reason ive been reminiscing alot lately. I've decided that i wish i was 16 again. Those were the days huh? Go to school everyday, see your friends, go to basketball and win everything while seeing your friends, go home, take a nap then see you friends, Go to work make money while seeing your friends, then go to youthgroup and church and learn about God while being with some of the best friends God could have ever sent me. Seriously, that was the life. Now that i look back, life as a 16 year old wasnt as bad as i thought it was. ....sigh....'youth's the most unfaithful mistress, but still we forge ahead to miss her'
but back to what i was saying in the beginning...Its funny how i said that less than two months ago and i have so easily forgotten. Maybe its because i've been stressed lately with school ending...what am i gonna do? yes, it is awesome that i have a degree only a year and a half out of highschool...but its also very scary. i think i'm having trouble convincing myself that i'm an adult. I'm 20 and out of college...no way...i think its inconceivable. i dont think i know all i should know to just go out into my field and pick up a full time job as a designer. i dont feel ready. So what do i do, go back to school? i suppose that would be the logical answer huh? really, its just a matter of surrendering everything to God. i know what i have to do. rely completely on him and, like becky was saying, step out into the rain. step into his will. but how will i know i'm in his will? is not knowing if im in his will actually being in his will? Surrender. thats the answer, hands down.
i know what I want to do, but alas, it may not be what i'm supposed to be doing. our ways are not his ways. His way is at the top of my list above not only my way but also the way other people think i should go.