I'M HOPELESS AND HELPLESS WHEN IT COMES TO YOU;
no matter how i try to change my mind, what's the point? it's just a waste of time
3 days at the beach were just lovely. i'm not burnt. leisurely. care free. relaxing. many anecdotes i could tell, but have no care to. amy's family are so nice to me. i can't believe i went but it was free from drama.
well, apart from sunday night when she got a text from ryan saying he was in noosa. she took that as an invitation, and i refused to go anywhere near him and his friends. luckily he wrote to her and confirmed that it was a 'boys night'. thank god. talking her out of doing stalkerish things really gets tiring.
why am i friends with her? i don't know. and guess what she bought me for christmas? free return flights to sydney. the catch: i have to go with her.
as her and ryan are good friends, he asked her on friday what was going on with me and why i was keen, and then i would be distant. she told him, 'nothing is EVER going to happen.' (which is what i told her because i told her the reason nothing had happened was because i knew it would destroy our friendship.) so there's technically no lies from her to him.
so i took matters into my own hands on sunday night. i txted him myself and told him that what amy says is NOT a direct reflection of things i say. he wasn't sure what i meant. so i said that despite amy saying there was no chance of anything happening, that may not be quite true. and his response was:
'well, you should be here with me in noosa.'
all this talk with him is driving me crazy. i just want to see him and see what happens. if it's all nothing, then so be it. but i have to have a go and see.
i can't just sit back and wonder because maybe it's the right thing to do. i have to take him by the hand. kiss him. see him. listen to him. just see what type of footsteps he takes around me.
i'm not a very good liar. i'm sure amy will find out. perhaps it's selfish, self-centred and the like, but i just don't care.
3 days at the beach were just lovely. i'm not burnt. leisurely. care free. relaxing. many anecdotes i could tell, but have no care to. amy's family are so nice to me. i can't believe i went but it was free from drama.
well, apart from sunday night when she got a text from ryan saying he was in noosa. she took that as an invitation, and i refused to go anywhere near him and his friends. luckily he wrote to her and confirmed that it was a 'boys night'. thank god. talking her out of doing stalkerish things really gets tiring.
why am i friends with her? i don't know. and guess what she bought me for christmas? free return flights to sydney. the catch: i have to go with her.
as her and ryan are good friends, he asked her on friday what was going on with me and why i was keen, and then i would be distant. she told him, 'nothing is EVER going to happen.' (which is what i told her because i told her the reason nothing had happened was because i knew it would destroy our friendship.) so there's technically no lies from her to him.
so i took matters into my own hands on sunday night. i txted him myself and told him that what amy says is NOT a direct reflection of things i say. he wasn't sure what i meant. so i said that despite amy saying there was no chance of anything happening, that may not be quite true. and his response was:
'well, you should be here with me in noosa.'
all this talk with him is driving me crazy. i just want to see him and see what happens. if it's all nothing, then so be it. but i have to have a go and see.
i can't just sit back and wonder because maybe it's the right thing to do. i have to take him by the hand. kiss him. see him. listen to him. just see what type of footsteps he takes around me.
i'm not a very good liar. i'm sure amy will find out. perhaps it's selfish, self-centred and the like, but i just don't care.