Breaking the line (chapter five, PG-13)
Title: Breaking the line
Rating: PG-13 for now
Pairing: Shibutani/Yasuda, (Nishikido/Ohkura)
Words count: 2,833 for this chapter
Summary: AU. How mch will it cost for the young assassin, in the underground world known as Arsenal, to retire from his profession and how many lines will he need to break in order to regain his freedom?
“How did you like the movie?” Yasu asks after they go out of the cinema, squinting their eyes because of the bright sunlight hitting their eyes.
“It was fine,” Subaru answers simply, not really knowing how to praise the movie. He wants to be as excited about everything as Yasu is, he really wants, but somehow he can’t. And it’s not even that he’s not enjoying the outing - because honestly, that whole idea about going out was brilliant - but he’s simply astonished. About how easy it is to make one person happy, and how simple it is to enjoy each other’s company just by watching silly movie in the cinema. In a way it overwhelms him, not allowing him to express properly how he feels about it all.
“Only fine? Ah, I knew you’d like to see some thriller more,” Yasu concludes instantly, furrowing his brows, as if he’s mad at himself.
Subaru waves his hands at that, smiling, because how adorable is this? “No, really! I liked the movie. Comedies are okay.”
It seems to convince Yasu, as he smiles back and lifts his hands up, stretching after sitting in one place for two hours. Subaru can’t get himself to look back, Yasu’s whole silhouette on the display, jeans laying loosely on his hips and shirt driving up, revealing a bit of his slightly tanned skin. And even though Subaru saw him half-naked more than a few times through last weeks, he can’t help but let his imagination go wild, at the same time realizing it’s been a really long time since the last time he got a laid.
And damn, how mighty fine Yasu looks right now, Subaru can’t even find the right words to express it.
“So,” Yasu says suddenly, breaking his mad stream of thoughts. “Are you going to take the risk and try shopping with me? There are actually a few things I want to buy, and we’re already in the city centre…”
“Only if you tell me why you’re referring to this as taking the risk.”
The younger man smiles suspiciously, and throws Subaru a mischievous look. “Because I know only one person who endured shopping with me, and it’s only because Ohkura loves buying things as much as I do.”
*
As expected, Subaru’s not the best shopping-partner for Yasu. Enduring the mad dash through the shops with gadgets, hats and shoes, he firmly declines further journey in the centre of city, demanding settling down in a coffee shop even just for half an hour, which Yasu accepts without much complaints.
Yasu offers to buy coffee for them and leaves to the counter, while Subaru occupies rather secluded table in the corner of café, right beside the big window. It’s a nice place, situated in a side-alley, so it’s quiet and there aren’t as many people as in the ones on the main street. For Subaru it’s perfect, and really, almost the whole day is, even if shopping with Yasu was pain in the ass and the comedy he’d chosen to watch was the most stupid one he had ever seen. Because the most important is the fact he feels just fine.
There are times, when he feels like he’s being spied, every random passer-by looking like an assassin sent to Osaka to kill both Subaru and Yasu, and then Ryo and Ohkura. His mind is making up some black scenarios, all coloured with death and pain - but it doesn’t last for long, luckily, because Yasu seems to always appear just in time to make all the bad thoughts go away, replacing them with his bright, bouncy personality and new ideas for how they should spend the day and what to do next. And Subaru is thankful for this, not even wanting to imagine what it would be like without Yasu by his side. Suddenly, not knowing when it really happened, he realises Yasu is like a inseparable part of his life and it’s hard to think of his days without him right there, like now, when he almost trips on his way to their table, two cups of coffee in his hands, regaining his balance literally in the last moment. Subaru laughs at him.
“Hey, don’t laugh at me! It’s not that easy, you know. Especially when you’re all deep in your thoughts, and there appears that funny look on your face,” Yasu says, pouting slightly, making himself look like he’s five, not twenty-five.
“You better see yourself when you’re reading,” Subaru retorts, getting some frustrated noise from Yasu in response, as he takes his cup of coffee, sipping slowly the hot liquid. Dark and strong, just how he loves it.
They’re sitting in silence for a while, neither of them really feeling the need to say anything. Subaru’s looking out of the window, observing people crossing the sidewalks and streets, while Yasu stares at him, intensively, almost as if he’s drinking him in, not being able to resist the urge to take as much of this as possible, Subaru rarely looking as calm as now. And it’s comfortable - the silence between them. Even though Subaru knows he’s being observed, and Yasu is aware of the fact what he’s doing is a bit creepy, they don’t mind. Subaru likes getting this special attention, and Yasu is more than glad that his absorption is being accepted.
“Shibuyan,” Yasu says suddenly, and Subaru looks at him, wondering if it’s supposed to be some random thing he decided to say, or if it was directed to him. But Yasu’s eyeing him from above his own cup, and the word sounds suspiciously similar to his name, so he’s concluding it really must’ve been addressed to him. “Can I call you like that? Shibuyan?” he asks, obviously sensing Subaru’s insecurity about that.
Subaru thinks for a moment, but it doesn’t really mean anything, as he knows there is no way for him to say no to Yasu. It may be his newly discovered weakness - Yasu and everything that concerns him - but somehow, it doesn’t disturb him all that much. It can’t be really harmful, anyway.
So he nods his head once, undefined happiness filling him out when Yasu smiles, clearly relieved.
“I was just thinking,” the younger man continues then, fingers playing with the cup, turning it around again and again, as if he’s nervous. It’s the first time Subaru sees him like that. “Since I saw papers with apartments’ advertisements and job offers all over the place, you must be probably searching for something to settle in Osaka for your own, right?”
Subaru would lie if he hadn’t admitted his heart sinks a little at that. Of course he hasn’t expected Yasu to let him live at his place forever, but he hasn’t thought he’s going to make him find something for himself faster.
“Uh, yes. I know it’s been long since I temporarily moved in with you, and I’m sorry, but I’m really working on it. I’ll try to do it as soon as possible,” he says, lowering his head. That’s why he doesn’t notice Yasu’s eyes suddenly getting wide, his whole silhouette tensing, and he looks at him only when he’s waving his hands frantically, almost knocking down their cups.
“That’s not what I meant!” he almost shouts, regaining composure just a moment after that. “What I wanted to say is,” Yasu takes a deep breath there, and Subaru swears his behaviour scares him a bit. “That maybe you don’t have to search. For the apartment. We could arrange some things in my place to make it more comfortable, fit in a second bed somewhere, also change decoration if you don’t like the one I have now,” Yasu rambles, not really being able to stop, too wrapped in his nerves and uncertainty. “Of course if you would like to continue sharing place together. It’s just that I-I enjoy living with you. We get along, and the rent is so much easier to afford when split, and your cooking is delicious, and-“
“Yasu,” Subaru says, almost pitying him and his troubles with voicing out what he really wants to ask him about. “It’s okay, I get it now.”
“So,” Yasu throws him a hopeful glance. “Would you like to stay?”
Subaru thinks about his answer, and this time he thinks for real, because it’s something he hasn’t planned, and it might ruin what he’d previously decided on. The lack of attachment is obviously ruined by now, with him feeling so tied to both Yasu and Ryo, and Ohkura even, but he’s not sure if he wants to go even deeper into this. He’s not sure if he wants to take such a big step, leaving behind everything he thought was the best plan after his grand escape.
But in the end, all the emotions, that human feelings he declined to affect him for so long, wins over his resolutions once again.
“I’d love to.”
*
When something starts going wrong, it’s of course in the most unexpected moment. It could be anything, really, with Subaru’s over-sensitivity and slight paranoia, but when stopping by some street-stall with various beaded bracelets and necklaces he sees a man he easily remembers already seeing today in many places before, he instantly jumps to obvious conclusions. In a blink of the eye he’s beside Yasu - who’s rummaging through variety of colours and designs of beads - pulling on his sleeve and trying to get his attention.
Somewhere between thinking how stupid it was to not take at least one of his revolvers with him today (and he really considered this possibility, finding it on the bottom of his suitcase this morning) and wondering if it’s the time when his heaven reaches its end, he lets one, certain thought overwhelm him. The though of how understanding - even if in reality he doesn’t understand anything - Yasu is. Because he’s not asking questions when Subaru pleads to go home, trying to act up some sudden but massive headache, and he just follows him, only taking what he paid for just seconds before.
When they’re at home - getting there two times longer than usually, because Subaru desperately tried to mislead the presumable spy - both of them feel extremely tired, and also confused. Subaru, wondering if it’s just his paranoia, and Yasu not really knowing anything, sure only that it’s not normal even for Subaru to suddenly get so strange.
But when they’re here, the place Subaru could easily call his own shelter, they simply continue their day. Subaru offers Yasu to cook dinner together, and Yasu agrees excitedly, both of them seemingly looking at each other in slightly different way than the day before.
Because Subaru starts to see more than Yasu’s superficies, concentrating not only on what’s obvious to the world, but what’s behind all of the things he shows, says and does. And Yasu is offering Subaru more affection, more interest, trying to grasp as much about him as he’s allowed to without scaring him off too much.
And it’s good. That slow pace, and small gestures, and shy looks gradually becoming bolder, more intensive, more piercing.
*
Going to sleep, feeling really satisfied and happy despite the small incident in the city (Ryo told him on the phone he’s being paranoid, and Subaru believes him, because he already found out it was good to believe Ryo), Subaru has enough faith to hope that maybe this night his unconsciousness will free his mind of those horrible nightmares.
But how wrong he is, nobody could’ve even imagined.
It’s different from his previous nightmares. All of the earlier ones were attached to something from his past; his father’s funeral, his mother’s death, kids that bullied him in school, the first job he got and did successfully, all of the times he killed someone and watched their lives ending. There was always a lot of pain in them, emotions overwhelming him, everything so real and vivid, and a lot more cruel than he remembered them.
This time though, it’s not about the past. What he dreams of is undeniably attached to his hypothetical future. And it’s nothing he would like it to look like.
It wouldn’t be probably that shocking if it was only about him. But what he sees in that dream - or rather nightmare - are people who are dearest to him, who offered him help, and who are the last human beings he wanted to suffer because of him. And in there - they are, and the way of this happening is the most cruel out of all Subaru knows and could imagine. The pain built slowly and steadily, increasing with the time - the worst of the tortures that seem to be endless. And Subaru can see it all, he literally feels his skin tingle; and the worst is that all he can do is to observe, to see their pained faces and to hear their screams, their pleas, their cries for freedom, for death, for relief.
When Subaru wakes up, it’s with the cry of despair, his dream-self desperately trying to gain anything with screaming his lungs out, while he himself, unconsciously attempting at breaking away from that nightmare, the worst one he had in his whole life.
He’s not sure what he’s doing, his mind fogged, eyes still closed and body only half-reacting to the reality, partially still being trapped inside that fictional world that doesn’t seem to let him escape. When Subaru throws his hands in front of himself, trashing on the bed like a fish taken out of the water, it’s all involuntary, nothing more than instincts. He’s not aware of the always present pillow-wall crumbling down, and Yasu jumping on the bed’s mattress, shocked and a bit dumbfounded by the flow of unexpected things that hit him.
His eyes widen when he realises what’s going on, and he doesn’t think twice before grabbing the other man’s hands in his, grip strong and firm, holding him in place. But it doesn’t work, Subaru too wrapped up in whatever it was that he dreamt of, and Yasu just reaches out, arm encircling Subaru’s waist and forcefully moving him closer, preventing him from further trashing around and clearly calming him down with the warm touch.
It’s easy for Yasu. Holding Subaru as close as it’s possible, repeating his name in calm and gentle, but firm voice again and again, until he calms down completely and his breathing steadies. Yasu knows he’s awake when he feels a hand gripping the hem of his shirt tightly, fingers curling around it as if it was his lifeline without which he’s going to sink. But even though he’s there now, even though he knows all these horrible things were just nightmare, he’s still trembling, the images having too big impact to be easily forgotten.
“It’s okay,” Yasu whispers, voice a little raspy from the sleep. He’s threading his fingers through Subaru’s long, messy now hair, stroking him in a comforting way. “It’s fine, I’m here.”
“I-It’s not fine,” Subaru stutters, and he sounds like he’s choking, like it’s hard for him to breathe. He pushes Yasu off, trying to back away, to escape from his touch. He knows he’s enjoying it too much, and he made this mistake already - he got attached to him, to his words and actions, and he can’t anymore, because it’ll bring only bad things for them. “It won’t be fine, never, not until I get out of there, far away, where you won’t reach me, you, and Ryo, and-,“ he can’t finish the sentence, or rather flow of words that doesn’t make any sense for Yasu, because Yasu moves closer again, his hand never leaving Subaru’s hair, only to tighten his hold for a second before his lips find Subaru’s ones, and only the first second of this touch, this kiss, makes them both instinctively lean in.
Because, even though it sounds stupid and cliché, their lips seem to be fitting each other perfectly. It’s like that’s their rightest place, one against the other, in that odd kiss when neither of them move or do anything else than just being there, letting the touch overwhelm their bodies, the tingles tease their skins, the warmth take them over and make them relax.
The moment when they part, the bond that formed between them doesn’t break. Quite the contrary - Yasu backing away makes Subaru scoot closer, even if it’s against his own words, the ones he voiced out just moments before and the same ones that feel like they’ve fallen from his lips many years ago.
And Yasu accepts him, again, and he’s sure he’ll do it again and again, no matter how many times more Subaru decides to escape.
Because that’s just like they’re at the moment - one chasing after the other, trying to work out each other’s thoughts, playing that game they’re not even knowing they take part in.
-----
Sorry for any possible errors, but this chapter is clearly unbeta-ed, and even though I did my best in avoiding mistakes, it's probably full of them anyway. D: I hope it was readable though.
Rating: PG-13 for now
Pairing: Shibutani/Yasuda, (Nishikido/Ohkura)
Words count: 2,833 for this chapter
Summary: AU. How mch will it cost for the young assassin, in the underground world known as Arsenal, to retire from his profession and how many lines will he need to break in order to regain his freedom?
“How did you like the movie?” Yasu asks after they go out of the cinema, squinting their eyes because of the bright sunlight hitting their eyes.
“It was fine,” Subaru answers simply, not really knowing how to praise the movie. He wants to be as excited about everything as Yasu is, he really wants, but somehow he can’t. And it’s not even that he’s not enjoying the outing - because honestly, that whole idea about going out was brilliant - but he’s simply astonished. About how easy it is to make one person happy, and how simple it is to enjoy each other’s company just by watching silly movie in the cinema. In a way it overwhelms him, not allowing him to express properly how he feels about it all.
“Only fine? Ah, I knew you’d like to see some thriller more,” Yasu concludes instantly, furrowing his brows, as if he’s mad at himself.
Subaru waves his hands at that, smiling, because how adorable is this? “No, really! I liked the movie. Comedies are okay.”
It seems to convince Yasu, as he smiles back and lifts his hands up, stretching after sitting in one place for two hours. Subaru can’t get himself to look back, Yasu’s whole silhouette on the display, jeans laying loosely on his hips and shirt driving up, revealing a bit of his slightly tanned skin. And even though Subaru saw him half-naked more than a few times through last weeks, he can’t help but let his imagination go wild, at the same time realizing it’s been a really long time since the last time he got a laid.
And damn, how mighty fine Yasu looks right now, Subaru can’t even find the right words to express it.
“So,” Yasu says suddenly, breaking his mad stream of thoughts. “Are you going to take the risk and try shopping with me? There are actually a few things I want to buy, and we’re already in the city centre…”
“Only if you tell me why you’re referring to this as taking the risk.”
The younger man smiles suspiciously, and throws Subaru a mischievous look. “Because I know only one person who endured shopping with me, and it’s only because Ohkura loves buying things as much as I do.”
*
As expected, Subaru’s not the best shopping-partner for Yasu. Enduring the mad dash through the shops with gadgets, hats and shoes, he firmly declines further journey in the centre of city, demanding settling down in a coffee shop even just for half an hour, which Yasu accepts without much complaints.
Yasu offers to buy coffee for them and leaves to the counter, while Subaru occupies rather secluded table in the corner of café, right beside the big window. It’s a nice place, situated in a side-alley, so it’s quiet and there aren’t as many people as in the ones on the main street. For Subaru it’s perfect, and really, almost the whole day is, even if shopping with Yasu was pain in the ass and the comedy he’d chosen to watch was the most stupid one he had ever seen. Because the most important is the fact he feels just fine.
There are times, when he feels like he’s being spied, every random passer-by looking like an assassin sent to Osaka to kill both Subaru and Yasu, and then Ryo and Ohkura. His mind is making up some black scenarios, all coloured with death and pain - but it doesn’t last for long, luckily, because Yasu seems to always appear just in time to make all the bad thoughts go away, replacing them with his bright, bouncy personality and new ideas for how they should spend the day and what to do next. And Subaru is thankful for this, not even wanting to imagine what it would be like without Yasu by his side. Suddenly, not knowing when it really happened, he realises Yasu is like a inseparable part of his life and it’s hard to think of his days without him right there, like now, when he almost trips on his way to their table, two cups of coffee in his hands, regaining his balance literally in the last moment. Subaru laughs at him.
“Hey, don’t laugh at me! It’s not that easy, you know. Especially when you’re all deep in your thoughts, and there appears that funny look on your face,” Yasu says, pouting slightly, making himself look like he’s five, not twenty-five.
“You better see yourself when you’re reading,” Subaru retorts, getting some frustrated noise from Yasu in response, as he takes his cup of coffee, sipping slowly the hot liquid. Dark and strong, just how he loves it.
They’re sitting in silence for a while, neither of them really feeling the need to say anything. Subaru’s looking out of the window, observing people crossing the sidewalks and streets, while Yasu stares at him, intensively, almost as if he’s drinking him in, not being able to resist the urge to take as much of this as possible, Subaru rarely looking as calm as now. And it’s comfortable - the silence between them. Even though Subaru knows he’s being observed, and Yasu is aware of the fact what he’s doing is a bit creepy, they don’t mind. Subaru likes getting this special attention, and Yasu is more than glad that his absorption is being accepted.
“Shibuyan,” Yasu says suddenly, and Subaru looks at him, wondering if it’s supposed to be some random thing he decided to say, or if it was directed to him. But Yasu’s eyeing him from above his own cup, and the word sounds suspiciously similar to his name, so he’s concluding it really must’ve been addressed to him. “Can I call you like that? Shibuyan?” he asks, obviously sensing Subaru’s insecurity about that.
Subaru thinks for a moment, but it doesn’t really mean anything, as he knows there is no way for him to say no to Yasu. It may be his newly discovered weakness - Yasu and everything that concerns him - but somehow, it doesn’t disturb him all that much. It can’t be really harmful, anyway.
So he nods his head once, undefined happiness filling him out when Yasu smiles, clearly relieved.
“I was just thinking,” the younger man continues then, fingers playing with the cup, turning it around again and again, as if he’s nervous. It’s the first time Subaru sees him like that. “Since I saw papers with apartments’ advertisements and job offers all over the place, you must be probably searching for something to settle in Osaka for your own, right?”
Subaru would lie if he hadn’t admitted his heart sinks a little at that. Of course he hasn’t expected Yasu to let him live at his place forever, but he hasn’t thought he’s going to make him find something for himself faster.
“Uh, yes. I know it’s been long since I temporarily moved in with you, and I’m sorry, but I’m really working on it. I’ll try to do it as soon as possible,” he says, lowering his head. That’s why he doesn’t notice Yasu’s eyes suddenly getting wide, his whole silhouette tensing, and he looks at him only when he’s waving his hands frantically, almost knocking down their cups.
“That’s not what I meant!” he almost shouts, regaining composure just a moment after that. “What I wanted to say is,” Yasu takes a deep breath there, and Subaru swears his behaviour scares him a bit. “That maybe you don’t have to search. For the apartment. We could arrange some things in my place to make it more comfortable, fit in a second bed somewhere, also change decoration if you don’t like the one I have now,” Yasu rambles, not really being able to stop, too wrapped in his nerves and uncertainty. “Of course if you would like to continue sharing place together. It’s just that I-I enjoy living with you. We get along, and the rent is so much easier to afford when split, and your cooking is delicious, and-“
“Yasu,” Subaru says, almost pitying him and his troubles with voicing out what he really wants to ask him about. “It’s okay, I get it now.”
“So,” Yasu throws him a hopeful glance. “Would you like to stay?”
Subaru thinks about his answer, and this time he thinks for real, because it’s something he hasn’t planned, and it might ruin what he’d previously decided on. The lack of attachment is obviously ruined by now, with him feeling so tied to both Yasu and Ryo, and Ohkura even, but he’s not sure if he wants to go even deeper into this. He’s not sure if he wants to take such a big step, leaving behind everything he thought was the best plan after his grand escape.
But in the end, all the emotions, that human feelings he declined to affect him for so long, wins over his resolutions once again.
“I’d love to.”
*
When something starts going wrong, it’s of course in the most unexpected moment. It could be anything, really, with Subaru’s over-sensitivity and slight paranoia, but when stopping by some street-stall with various beaded bracelets and necklaces he sees a man he easily remembers already seeing today in many places before, he instantly jumps to obvious conclusions. In a blink of the eye he’s beside Yasu - who’s rummaging through variety of colours and designs of beads - pulling on his sleeve and trying to get his attention.
Somewhere between thinking how stupid it was to not take at least one of his revolvers with him today (and he really considered this possibility, finding it on the bottom of his suitcase this morning) and wondering if it’s the time when his heaven reaches its end, he lets one, certain thought overwhelm him. The though of how understanding - even if in reality he doesn’t understand anything - Yasu is. Because he’s not asking questions when Subaru pleads to go home, trying to act up some sudden but massive headache, and he just follows him, only taking what he paid for just seconds before.
When they’re at home - getting there two times longer than usually, because Subaru desperately tried to mislead the presumable spy - both of them feel extremely tired, and also confused. Subaru, wondering if it’s just his paranoia, and Yasu not really knowing anything, sure only that it’s not normal even for Subaru to suddenly get so strange.
But when they’re here, the place Subaru could easily call his own shelter, they simply continue their day. Subaru offers Yasu to cook dinner together, and Yasu agrees excitedly, both of them seemingly looking at each other in slightly different way than the day before.
Because Subaru starts to see more than Yasu’s superficies, concentrating not only on what’s obvious to the world, but what’s behind all of the things he shows, says and does. And Yasu is offering Subaru more affection, more interest, trying to grasp as much about him as he’s allowed to without scaring him off too much.
And it’s good. That slow pace, and small gestures, and shy looks gradually becoming bolder, more intensive, more piercing.
*
Going to sleep, feeling really satisfied and happy despite the small incident in the city (Ryo told him on the phone he’s being paranoid, and Subaru believes him, because he already found out it was good to believe Ryo), Subaru has enough faith to hope that maybe this night his unconsciousness will free his mind of those horrible nightmares.
But how wrong he is, nobody could’ve even imagined.
It’s different from his previous nightmares. All of the earlier ones were attached to something from his past; his father’s funeral, his mother’s death, kids that bullied him in school, the first job he got and did successfully, all of the times he killed someone and watched their lives ending. There was always a lot of pain in them, emotions overwhelming him, everything so real and vivid, and a lot more cruel than he remembered them.
This time though, it’s not about the past. What he dreams of is undeniably attached to his hypothetical future. And it’s nothing he would like it to look like.
It wouldn’t be probably that shocking if it was only about him. But what he sees in that dream - or rather nightmare - are people who are dearest to him, who offered him help, and who are the last human beings he wanted to suffer because of him. And in there - they are, and the way of this happening is the most cruel out of all Subaru knows and could imagine. The pain built slowly and steadily, increasing with the time - the worst of the tortures that seem to be endless. And Subaru can see it all, he literally feels his skin tingle; and the worst is that all he can do is to observe, to see their pained faces and to hear their screams, their pleas, their cries for freedom, for death, for relief.
When Subaru wakes up, it’s with the cry of despair, his dream-self desperately trying to gain anything with screaming his lungs out, while he himself, unconsciously attempting at breaking away from that nightmare, the worst one he had in his whole life.
He’s not sure what he’s doing, his mind fogged, eyes still closed and body only half-reacting to the reality, partially still being trapped inside that fictional world that doesn’t seem to let him escape. When Subaru throws his hands in front of himself, trashing on the bed like a fish taken out of the water, it’s all involuntary, nothing more than instincts. He’s not aware of the always present pillow-wall crumbling down, and Yasu jumping on the bed’s mattress, shocked and a bit dumbfounded by the flow of unexpected things that hit him.
His eyes widen when he realises what’s going on, and he doesn’t think twice before grabbing the other man’s hands in his, grip strong and firm, holding him in place. But it doesn’t work, Subaru too wrapped up in whatever it was that he dreamt of, and Yasu just reaches out, arm encircling Subaru’s waist and forcefully moving him closer, preventing him from further trashing around and clearly calming him down with the warm touch.
It’s easy for Yasu. Holding Subaru as close as it’s possible, repeating his name in calm and gentle, but firm voice again and again, until he calms down completely and his breathing steadies. Yasu knows he’s awake when he feels a hand gripping the hem of his shirt tightly, fingers curling around it as if it was his lifeline without which he’s going to sink. But even though he’s there now, even though he knows all these horrible things were just nightmare, he’s still trembling, the images having too big impact to be easily forgotten.
“It’s okay,” Yasu whispers, voice a little raspy from the sleep. He’s threading his fingers through Subaru’s long, messy now hair, stroking him in a comforting way. “It’s fine, I’m here.”
“I-It’s not fine,” Subaru stutters, and he sounds like he’s choking, like it’s hard for him to breathe. He pushes Yasu off, trying to back away, to escape from his touch. He knows he’s enjoying it too much, and he made this mistake already - he got attached to him, to his words and actions, and he can’t anymore, because it’ll bring only bad things for them. “It won’t be fine, never, not until I get out of there, far away, where you won’t reach me, you, and Ryo, and-,“ he can’t finish the sentence, or rather flow of words that doesn’t make any sense for Yasu, because Yasu moves closer again, his hand never leaving Subaru’s hair, only to tighten his hold for a second before his lips find Subaru’s ones, and only the first second of this touch, this kiss, makes them both instinctively lean in.
Because, even though it sounds stupid and cliché, their lips seem to be fitting each other perfectly. It’s like that’s their rightest place, one against the other, in that odd kiss when neither of them move or do anything else than just being there, letting the touch overwhelm their bodies, the tingles tease their skins, the warmth take them over and make them relax.
The moment when they part, the bond that formed between them doesn’t break. Quite the contrary - Yasu backing away makes Subaru scoot closer, even if it’s against his own words, the ones he voiced out just moments before and the same ones that feel like they’ve fallen from his lips many years ago.
And Yasu accepts him, again, and he’s sure he’ll do it again and again, no matter how many times more Subaru decides to escape.
Because that’s just like they’re at the moment - one chasing after the other, trying to work out each other’s thoughts, playing that game they’re not even knowing they take part in.
-----
Sorry for any possible errors, but this chapter is clearly unbeta-ed, and even though I did my best in avoiding mistakes, it's probably full of them anyway. D: I hope it was readable though.