(no subject)
Talked to Aaron on the phone yesterday. I've never felt more guilt. I was his first girlfriend. Why did I hurt him? I'd waited so long to be with him. One of his questions for me, I know how hard it was for him to ask me, was why I had to hug other guys, even when I was with him? I couldn't answer. I don't know. I like making people jealous, get a rise out of them. I didn't want to hurt him. He responded "you say you have to take care of all these so called 'friends' of yours. They're all guys Lauren. If you stop giving them hugs and acknowlaging them, they will move on to someone else. They're only using you'. Really Aaron? You think I can't see that? I'm not an f-ing tard. I see through people, I know. I guess I just don't care anymore. I'll take any attention I can get. When it's positive like that, I just don't care. Well. Yall know me. You know how shallow I am. YOU KNOW. Especially carrie. You know me.