we've got a good thing going
title: we've got a good thing going
rating: PG
pairing: klaine
summary: "It should have been him lying on the ground, writhing in pain, and screaming out into the night. But no, it was Blaine. Because his boyfriend had pushed him out of the way to take a slushie to the face. A slushie that should have only been red dye and icy water."
Kurt is sitting in the waiting room at the hospital when it fully hits him - smacks him in the face, could have bit him, hits him - his boyfriend is in there because of him. That slushie, mixed with god only knows what, was meant for him. It should have been him lying on the ground, writhing in pain, and screaming out into the night. But no, it was Blaine. Because his boyfriend had pushed him out of the way to take a slushie to the face. A slushie that should have only been red dye and icy water.
He slumps down in his chair a little, a sure sign that something is very much not right, and stares at the door. He feels his eyes burning, feels how swollen they are, and he shakes his head a little before letting his gaze drop from the door. It's not going to make the doctor walk through it any faster, he reminds himself.
He barely registers when Finn walks over, bridging the distance he had been giving Kurt since Blaine had been taken back. Experience had taught him that the most helpful thing he could do for Kurt in times like this was to give him some time alone and not to push him. "Coffee?" he asks hesitantly, holding out a small styrofoam cup filled with coffee and what looked like far too many packets of non-dairy creamer. When Kurt shakily accepts it, muttering a quiet, "thank you," Finn allows himself to sit down next to his brother.
"He's gonna be okay, Kurt," Finn says, and Kurt almost wants to cry at how sure of that Finn sounds. "They're gonna be able to fix him up, good as new." He grins, and Kurt isn't sure whether he wants to tell him to get lost or break down in tears.
Instead, he says, "That slushie should have hit me," less to Finn and more to his hands, his coffee, anything that isn't a person whose eyes may narrow as if to say, "Yeah, you're right, that should be you in there". He doesn't look up, just continues to eye his cup as if it's personally wronged him. "Sebastian brought it for me. And Blaine... god, Blaine." He blinks back the burning that he feels in his eyes. "Why did he have to do that, Finn?"
Finn sits back in his seat, frowning a little, confused. "He loves you, dude. And he thought it was just a slushie, it's n---"
"But it wasn't!" Kurt finally looks up at his brother, his hand clenching around the cup in his hand. "It wasn't just a slushie, Finn. Sebastian, he put something in there, and now Blaine is in pain and it's because of me."
"Dude, you didn't put whatever it was in that slushie, and you didn't throw it at his face."
Kurt just shakes his head and goes silent again.
He doesn't say anything else until the doctor comes in, after everyone else is long gone.
-
Kurt doesn't get much sleep that night.
He accompanies Blaine home just long enough to get him settled in his bed and give him a quick kiss on the cheek.
When he gets home, Burt is sitting in the kitchen waiting up for him. Kurt shakes his head a little at his father, pleading with his eyes not to be questioned about what had happened just yet. He receives a nod in return before he makes his way upstairs to his bedroom.
Alone in his room, however, there's nothing to distract him from the guilt sitting in the pit of his stomach.
He changes into his PJs. He does his skin care ritual. He lays out his outfit for the following day. He casts aside his school bag, homework suddenly unimportant. When he finally settles into his bed, his body is thrumming with nervous energy.
As he tosses and turns, he hears Sebastian's voice in his head, over and over, like a broken record:
"He's too good for you."
"He's too good for you."
"He's too good for you."
The words run through his delirious, sleep deprived mind, taunting him.
Behind closed eyes, Sebastian stands above Blaine as he screams and looks down at Kurt in disgust. "He's too good for you," he says again, lips curled up in that smug little smirk, before tossing the cup on the ground and retreating with the boys that both Kurt and Blaine had once called friends.
Blaine's screams ring in his ears as he bolts awake not two hours later.
It's going to be a long day.
-
School is hell.
He feels like he's immobilized in a crowd of nameless, faceless people that keep passing him by all through the day. Like he's stationary and the sets keep changing around him.
When Burt shows up, he feels his heart sink to the pit of his stomach.
His heart climbs its way up past its home and to his throat when his father hands over his letter.
Time seems to kick back into gear when he reads the tiny words printed across the page in his hands and his head spins with his father's words.
He did it.
He was a finalist.
And in that moment, Kurt allows himself to believe that, yeah, maybe he did win. Maybe he can have it all.
-
When Finn and Rachel leave Blaine's house that night, Blaine is hovering somewhere between consciousness and blissful sleep, and only then does Kurt allow himself to just...look.
His eyes travel over his boyfriend's slightly parted lips and his impossibly long eyelashes before coming to rest on the patch and gauze positioned over Blaine's eye.
"That's because of you," the voice in his head reminds him, and in that moment, Kurt finally allows his own tears to fall.
He's held it together through all of this so far, but the snarky voice in his head that sounds oh so much like Sebastian feels like there's salt being poured into an open wound.
"Hey," comes Blaine's voice, and, shit, this is really not a conversation he wanted to have on a day that had been so largely dominated by the celebration of his future.
"What's wrong?" Blaine asks, concern laced in his voice, and Kurt shakes his head.
But then...he and Blaine have always been completely honest with each other. The entire basis of their relationship was just that: their honesty and trust in one another.
After a few moments of silence and looking down at their interlaced hands instead of at Blaine's face, Kurt finally looks up at him and says, "That slushie was for me, Blaine. You shouldn't have done that. It should be me."
A frown settles itself on Blaine's lips, and Kurt isn't really sure he wants to hear what he's about to say.
"Kurt," Blaine says softly, giving his boyfriend's hand a quick squeeze. "I don't regret it. I would rather be hurt than have anything happen to you."
And Blaine is giving him that earnest look and is looking at him like he loves him more than anything in the world, and Kurt is reminded that he does. This boy knows him, knows all of his flaws, and loves him anyway.
And he would do anything in his power to keep him safe.
And the best part is, Kurt thinks as he reaches to stroke Blaine's cheek with his thumb, he knows I'll do anything for him, too. Because I do deserve him, and maybe I do get to have it all.