(no subject)
This has had to be one of the most emotional entries.
a lot has happened lately. A lot more then I was expecting/wanting for the new year.
I've made friends with my mom again. That night I came over was just one of those things I won't forget. It was good tho. I've wanted that for a long time. I was just scared of actualy doing it. I remember having dreams of coming back to this house but everything was the same that it was as I left. Eveythings different. The color, the smell, the carpet, the furniture, the cozy-ness of it being MY home. I feel like a stranger. But I was welcomed here with kind open arms. Just like in my dream. I spend the whole night up talking to my mom, going thru all the old pictures and laughing and crying and catching up. My mom had a box full of presents for me. All the Christmas' and birthdays' that I've missed. Letters that she had written me but too scared to send. She told me that she was scared that I wouldn't have came around untill it was too late. That she would be sick in the hospital on her death bed before I came to see her but then it would be too late. I'm glad I made the choice to come see her. I just wished that it didn't happened like it did. I didn't like havin to fight with my dad. But I also didn't like being taken for granted. My dad never really appreciated all the things I did for him. Sounds like John. My mom told me " If a guy treats his mother bad, he will do the same to you." She said that about my dad because I told my mom how dad's mean to grandma. When she said that it made me think of John.
Last night there was an accident. I had no clue of it until Cory woke me up with a phone call telling me Mike died. I told him to shut up because that wasn't funny. He said "I'm not laughing either." I wasn't very close to mike but I've known him since elementary school. I remember when his lame name changed. I remember thinking micheal ware (sp im not sure if that was how you spelt it) was much easier then Micheal Reinertsen. The wierd thing was I just said hey to him and kat on friday as I was leaving school. I told them I'd talk to them on monday bc my mom was waiting for me. I guess I'm glad I can say that my last words to him were with a smile, and all I had to do was wait till monday to say hi to him and kat again.
Micheal Green is in critical condition at the hospital. I grew up with him too. He's older probabl 25 or 26 now. But I remember when I was little, him and his sister, Krystal and brother Jake would be here all the time. We'd all play in the pool and hang out together. I remember because I was soo little and he was soo big he'd pick me up and throw me up in the air and catch me. He'd carry me around on his neck. His mom called my house today to tell us the news. She said the doctor's don't know if he's gonna make it.
It's wierd thinking about all of this. We are 8 days into the new year and so many people have already left us. They were too young to leave us too. Life is kinda funny that way. You can't take it for granted. You can't hold grudges. You can't be mean to people. Because if you do these things, YOU have to live with it when they die. I was just on the phone with Sherry and she was telling me how bad she felt for being mean to Mike. And how she wishes her last words to him weren't what she did end up saying.
Life comes and goes. What you do with it is up to you. The only thing you have no control over is death. Death is almost like fate. I bet you those kids had no clue what they were in for. They were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. And it's sad thing to see/say.
Seeing all this makes me want everyone to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I've been mean to you. I'm sorry if I've screwed up. I never want to forget to tell people I love that I love them. I want my friends to know that I'm thankful for them. I want them to know I appreciate them.
a lot has happened lately. A lot more then I was expecting/wanting for the new year.
I've made friends with my mom again. That night I came over was just one of those things I won't forget. It was good tho. I've wanted that for a long time. I was just scared of actualy doing it. I remember having dreams of coming back to this house but everything was the same that it was as I left. Eveythings different. The color, the smell, the carpet, the furniture, the cozy-ness of it being MY home. I feel like a stranger. But I was welcomed here with kind open arms. Just like in my dream. I spend the whole night up talking to my mom, going thru all the old pictures and laughing and crying and catching up. My mom had a box full of presents for me. All the Christmas' and birthdays' that I've missed. Letters that she had written me but too scared to send. She told me that she was scared that I wouldn't have came around untill it was too late. That she would be sick in the hospital on her death bed before I came to see her but then it would be too late. I'm glad I made the choice to come see her. I just wished that it didn't happened like it did. I didn't like havin to fight with my dad. But I also didn't like being taken for granted. My dad never really appreciated all the things I did for him. Sounds like John. My mom told me " If a guy treats his mother bad, he will do the same to you." She said that about my dad because I told my mom how dad's mean to grandma. When she said that it made me think of John.
Last night there was an accident. I had no clue of it until Cory woke me up with a phone call telling me Mike died. I told him to shut up because that wasn't funny. He said "I'm not laughing either." I wasn't very close to mike but I've known him since elementary school. I remember when his lame name changed. I remember thinking micheal ware (sp im not sure if that was how you spelt it) was much easier then Micheal Reinertsen. The wierd thing was I just said hey to him and kat on friday as I was leaving school. I told them I'd talk to them on monday bc my mom was waiting for me. I guess I'm glad I can say that my last words to him were with a smile, and all I had to do was wait till monday to say hi to him and kat again.
Micheal Green is in critical condition at the hospital. I grew up with him too. He's older probabl 25 or 26 now. But I remember when I was little, him and his sister, Krystal and brother Jake would be here all the time. We'd all play in the pool and hang out together. I remember because I was soo little and he was soo big he'd pick me up and throw me up in the air and catch me. He'd carry me around on his neck. His mom called my house today to tell us the news. She said the doctor's don't know if he's gonna make it.
It's wierd thinking about all of this. We are 8 days into the new year and so many people have already left us. They were too young to leave us too. Life is kinda funny that way. You can't take it for granted. You can't hold grudges. You can't be mean to people. Because if you do these things, YOU have to live with it when they die. I was just on the phone with Sherry and she was telling me how bad she felt for being mean to Mike. And how she wishes her last words to him weren't what she did end up saying.
Life comes and goes. What you do with it is up to you. The only thing you have no control over is death. Death is almost like fate. I bet you those kids had no clue what they were in for. They were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. And it's sad thing to see/say.
Seeing all this makes me want everyone to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I've been mean to you. I'm sorry if I've screwed up. I never want to forget to tell people I love that I love them. I want my friends to know that I'm thankful for them. I want them to know I appreciate them.