im drunk. you don't have to read.

[itsalovescene]

I always thought getting drunk by yourself was for alcoholics until i started doing it. it's become a semi-regular thing lately. weird. jake will be home in less then a week. im not sure what happened to the time now that i think about it. im so ready to get this over with

Comments

[sinthetikdreams]

Almost everyday before I finally ran out on my father, I got drunk everyday, by myself. No, I wasn't an alcoholic, I could've gone without it - but for some reason, it put me in another mind that I really didn't mind being in. Basically, I was lonley and noone really understood me, so I pretty much did my own thing. Overall, I was in a BIG depresion, and still to this day I am going through depression. Why? I don't know, but it reflects off my past and how annoyed I always get over something small. I have a chemical imbalance and I'm not taking any meds for it. I can't until I get my own insurance.
You drinking by yourself, honestly isn't a good thing. But I can't tell you not to do it. It probably makes you feel good. If I can be blunt with you, Jess, you seemed depressed, which isn't a BAD thing. Most women are depressed, and have no reason to be, and most women are depressed because they feel everything has gone wrong. Or if your like me, you have a chemical imbalance and it just makes you fucked up in the head.
You said you want a ciggarette, and you haven't had one since you were 11. I smoke all the time, but when I'm stressed, I'll smoke a whole pack before the day ends. And when Jay isn't here and working doubles all the time, I smoke wayyy to much. I get bored with myself easily. So you wanting to smoke a ciggarette could mean anything, but it probably is from stress.
I don't mean to hurt you in this, because I'm not trying to. What I told you so far, is everything I'm going through, and I can relate in a lot of ways. The baby situation, I can't relate, but I'm here with you on the same page of wanting one so bad. You just know when your ready.
I'm not saying go talk to someone, because talking to someone just makes you more depressed. Go to a doctor if you need to and tell him to prescribe you something. The medicine basically makes you motivated and more acceptable to things that you would so easily get pissed off at.