For nothingunderit
I know I'm going to see you in a couple of hours when you get back, but I just have to say this now because it's important.
I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I love you, too, sweetheart. You've helped me open my eyes to a lot.
Are you okay? Has something happened, like?
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I was talking to Stuart. Dinnae panic, like. Nothing has happened with him, he's tired and looking rough, just wants to go back to sleep. But the things he was saying reminded me how much you mean to you, and I dinnae want to lose you.
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Aye, that isnae an uncommon thing for Stuarty. He's always been a hibernater when he's upset or nay well. It's why we dinnae really push him, he'll surface when he's ready, knows we're here when he needs us. I think it's all taken it oot of him. I'm nay going anywhere, baby. You know that, aye? I know it hasnae been a smooth road in the start, but you and me against the world now, huh?
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I was just worried aboot him. He looked like he was in pain when I went in there, and he told me he didnae feel so hot, too. He talked a wee bit, though. I didnae think he would appreciate me sitting there and watching him like a hawk. You might need to take that bed over there with him in it. Aye, I just still feel somedays like I dinnae deserve you, but I'm glad I do. I've gotten used to waking up with you wrapped all aroond me like the best blanket ever.
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Aye, we arenae really sure how he's going to cope with this all in general. I wouldnae even be surprised if he contemplated going hame. London hasnae been too kind to him. We were going to see if he wanted to come over on the next trip. Iain's spare room is already fine, probably more comfortable for him that trying to be miserable in a pile of crap. We can bring his things over later. Of course you do. We covered this, baby. Mistakes are mistakes, we'll be all good. Ach, you make crawling into bed sound awesome right now. I'm knackered.
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He said this was his second broken engagement. From what he was saying, he sounds like he's just given up hope that things might get better. And it's funny you should mention going hame, too... If he went, would you go back with him? I mean, Stuart was a big part of why you came doon here. That, and me being Bitchzilla and trying to push you away. That's nay a bad idea, actually. It might be better for him, stop him feeling so in limbo. Where are we staying, by the way? We cannae all fit there, aye? How about when you're done, we take a hot shower together and I give you an all-over massage?
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He said he wanted to go hame? Actually, I wanted to talk to you aboot that. The London thing. You're a sexy Bitchzilla, and I wouldnae want you any other way. I think we're going to be staying at Gee's place for a wee while while things get sorted, like. Dinnae hold me to that, though. Ohhhh, aye. Aye, talk aboot heaven. What did I do to deserve a massage?
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He didnae really confirm anything either way, but I think he's seriously considering it. The London thing? Is everything okay? I just cannae help feeling in the way right now. I'm trying nay too, but so much is going on. You were just you, and I'm pregnant and horny. I want my hands all over you. Mutual benefits.
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Guess we just have to wait and see if he says anything. He might just been feeling fragile today, change his mind tomorrow. It's nay likely, though. If he gets a thought, he usually acts on it. Aye, aye. Things are okay, but I got approached at my photo shoot the other, some bloke who works for a designer called Rian Ambrose. I know her stuff, like. It's pretty awesome. She's, um, trying to poach me as the face for one of her lines. Only thing is, it would probably mean I'd need to live here. Oh, hey! You arenae in the way at all. And if you are, we all are. Things are all over the place right now. Dinnae you be feeling like you arenae a part of the family, okay? Because you are. The good, the bad, and the ugly that comes with it.
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Aye, fragile is definitely a word to describe it, but I dinnae think there will be much mind-changing. He doesnae feel like he belongs here anymore. Oh... wow. Seriously? What aboot... I mean, you'd still want to be a paramedic, aye? Or would you do the model thing full time? That's a huge decision and... I dinnae how. How would you feel aboot living in London, like? Well, I did chat to Stuart, and he didnae seem to mind me doing it.
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He's lost his love. I cannae deny that I think him going hame is a bad thing. It's always been our safe-haven when things hurt. Well... um... I dinnae really know. This only happened the other day, so I havenae thought seriously aboot it. The only way I'd come is if you come with me. We're a team now. Aye, there willnae be nay giving up my paramedics, I love that too much. I'd just transfer here. I dinnae know, maybe we could even take Iain's old place off him. But I dinnae want you to think I'm pressuring you, like. I just thought I'd put it oot there. It'd be a pretty huge gig, awesome cash. She's one of London's best designers. Of course he didnae, he probably appreciated the TLC.
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Then he needs to go hame, even if he gets there and realises he wants to come back. Knowing hame is there is huge. Which is why I'm going to tell you right now that I think you should maybe bite the bullet with this, give yourself the chance to do this on more than a casual level. I dinnae have anything keeping me in Edinburgh. I'll need maternity leave soon, anyway. Once I go back to work, I can get a job here too. I know it's a huge thing, but after everything, dinnae you feel life's too short? This might be a big break for you. I know the designer, her stuff is amazing, and very, very popular. You're a brilliant model, baby. Just as good as you are a paramedic. If you feel like you want to give this a shot, do it. I'll be right there with you.
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