RP LOG with seeuincourt | Not quite cold feet
Somewhere along the line, with the change in plans to accommodate the stop at Gretna Green, it was decided that there would be a car shuffle from that point on. Tom would transfer to Ethan and Sophie's car, Stuart would go with Ian, Angus and Braden, and Kenzie and Jules would take Tom's car. It seemed there was more than one romantic in the bunch who thought it just wasn't going to cut it that Stuart and Tom just didn't spend the evening apart before the wedding. They would separate them at Gretna Green and the two boys would go into the custody of their Best Man and Best Girls to prepare for their big day. But for now, the two grooms were still in the car together and it had become the sounds of silence around an hour prior when they were both so nervous, they had a huge fight over, of all things, stopping at McDonalds.
Stuart wanted it, Tom thought it was plebian food, and emotions just exploded. It turned out they didn't stop at all and continued on their path to Gretna Green in silence. Both were stubborn guys when they wanted to be, and seemed reluctant to be the one to break the tense silence. Stuart had come to drum his fingers softly on his thigh, looking pointedly out the window away from Tom until he just couldn't take it anymore. "Alright, pull over. We're having angry make up sex right now," he stated succinctly. "Or we're at least going to talk about the fact we screamed at each other over nothing so my gut can stop feeling like it's lodged up in my nasal passage."
Tom's lips had been a thin line since the argument, the lawyer not relaxing at all after the explosion. He had on his glasses for the drive and took one hand off the wheel to push them back up his nose slightly so they sat more comfortably. For a moment he considered ignoring Stuart's request if only because he was still having lingering urges of prickishness. But then the idea of angry make up sex was hard to ignore. He was still male, and he was still attracted to Stuart unquestionably. He also knew this was likely the last chance there'd be for sex before the wedding night. Tom cleared his throat before he found a spot to pull over and killed the engine. "It's our wedding, Stuart. Emotions are bound to be high. It doesn't make it any better, it just does explain it all. I'm sorry I was a fuckwit."
Stuart scrunched his nose up and shifted restlessly in the passenger's chair with a small huff. "... and I'm sorry I said I wanted McDonald's when I wasnae even hungry. I was just bored with being a passenger and bored of the road trip. We should have flown. This is fucked up. It's screwing with my head being stuck with monotonous scenery flicking by me and trying nay to think about everything. Then I gotta get into a car with my brothers for the rest of the trip, and they're going to pull the piss outta me." He grabbed the handle of the door and opened it, pushing it with his leg so he could get some fresh air. He wasn't so much getting cold feet, as maybe more on the lukewarm front. He just wasn't about to verbalise that in case in jinxed anything. Suddenly the enormity of getting married was hitting him like a tonne of bricks, and being stuck in the car for so long was making it worse. He wanted his big brother. Iain would know what to say, or have some sort of advice.
"And I have to go with Ethan and Soph. Soph who'll probably talk up marriage and tell me how wonderful tomorrow will be, and Ethan who will just stick with pulling the piss. So you're not the only one, love. Or he'll just be trying not to run screaming from her belly." Tom wasn't really getting cold feet either. In fact, he was unexpectedly calm when it came to thinking about the wedding. It was everything else that was setting him off. "Hey, we're driving so your BFF can get married. Wasn't that the plan? I'm sorry the scenery sucks, but just think of the pay-offs. Or grab my iPod and watch some movies. Or do you want to drive for a bit?"
"Aye, well, I'm travelling with Gus, who has just gone through a messy and shitty divorce. Really doubt he'll be talking marriage up to me..." Stuart glanced out the window again and reached up to scratch the back of his head. "She's getting married to look pretty in court! No one should get married because of that. She's going to regret it. It's too soon. It was just a knee-jerk reaction to trying to beat the fucked up grandparents. It's screwed in the head. She willnae even have her folks there. That's wrong. Please, dinnae let me too close in her presence, I'll bite her head off with the way I'm feeling right now. Watching movies on that thing makes me puke. If I drive, I'll turn the car around and go nowhere near Gretna Green," he warned.
Tom glanced at him. "What about him and Jules? I know it's not marriage, but surely he can still realise not all relationships are shit. And he did used to be happy." Tom listened to his fiancé, and made a mental note to definitely not leave Stuart alone with Gee. "Are you really going to avoid Gretna Green? You can't, love. This is your best friend and she wants you there on her wedding day. Just like you want her there for yours. Maybe we did put more planning into it, but I think you've got the wrong end of the stick. Fitzpatrick would never let her do it without knowing Gee was definitely okay with it all. And I think he'd also somewhere deep down understand that her parents will only be able to see her married once. He's a romantic under all those tattoos."
Stuart shot Tom a warning look. "Please, tell me you havenae been showering Gus with platitudes about the grass being greener and to always look on the bright side of life? This isnae Monty Python! His ex has been putting him through hell and the ink is barely dry on the divorce papers! Give him time to grieve, for god's sake," he huffed in annoyance. He remembered how much it sucked when his first engagement broke. He wasn't sad to see the back of her, but it still came as a really difficult blow. He hadn't felt like dating again for months on end after that. He had no idea why he was in such a shitty mood now, either, it was just hanging over him like a rain cloud he didn't know how to get rid of. If there was a cranky cat around, he would probably kick it. "Well, I think it fucking sucks. That kid hasnae even met his grandparents yet. What if he hates them? When I suggested this to them, I didnae mean she should just cut her parents out. I cannae even... I just..." He held his hand up and shook his head. He couldn't even fathom doing something like this without his family.
"No, I haven't. I'm not that suicidal." Tom pressed his lips together as he took a deep breath before he got out of the car to stretch his legs. He was worried he was going to wind up biting back at Stuart again. He had no idea where the Scot's mood had come from and he didn't want to blow it out of proportion. Tom rubbed his hands over his face as he breathed in the fresh air before he came around to Stuart's side of the car and opened the door up further. "You've met Gee's parents, right? They're coming for our wedding. Do you think they're people that kid would hate? So they're not cut out... Just not part of the plan. And maybe we should have done something to stop that, but we haven't."
"Aye, I have, and my dick has been in her once. His has been in her a billion times, and he's never met them. That kid has Exorcist-level grandparents in Ireland, maybe he needs to suss out the new prospects on the market? Nay, I dinnae think they'll hate him, but I cannae speak for the laddie. I havenae met him either. He's like the Bubble Boy. When I went to the hospital, he was sleeping the whole time. And Gee thinks I would make good godfather prospects. I dinnae even know what colour eyes the kid has." Stuart walked away from the car and rubbed his hands over his face. "That's all beside the point, though. She isnae just going shopping at Tesco. She's getting married, and she's their only kid. My parents almost made me sign in blood to never elope. I feel terrible for them, that's all."
Tom rubbed his hand over his torso before he stretched and started to work the kinks out. He was healed now. He just had a large scar and some occasional twinges to remind him about the near death experience. It all seemed like a lifetime ago. Back then he had been sure about marriage, but he'd still known that he didn't want to be without Stuart. "He's never really struck me as the meet-the-parents type. It's not like he made any impromptu trip to Scotland at Christmas time and met them by default either, is it? Their relationship developed differently to ours. It's had a lot of bumps and twists, and for a while there I was wondering if it would even last. But it has, and now there's a kid in the equation. A lot of things have been turned upside down, Stuart. I love you for being a family man, I really do. But Gee's clearly decided that eloping is a good idea. It might be a mistake, but it's hers to make. Is this really why you're so worked up today? Do you genuinely not want to be there for her?"
"I'm going, arenae I?" Stuart pointed out quietly. He wasn't going to miss it, he just didn't agree with what she was doing. Her parents would want to be a part of this. Parents still needed to know they were needed by their kids, even if they were all grown up with lives of their own. He folded his arms and hugged himself tightly. "I dinnae know what's wrong with me! It all feels weird. Nay necessarily in a bad way, just like... it isnae me. Everything has come so quickly and all this shit has changed. It feels like someone hit fast-forward on life and I was left sitting on the sofa in my boxers with a lost remote."
Tom came over to Stuart and slipped his arm around his shoulders as he pressed his lips to Stuart's temple. "Maybe it wasn't so great getting a wedding planner after all. We didn't exactly get a lot of hands on involvement in our own wedding, did we? We just have to show up on time. Say the words. There was no fighting over place settings, no worrying about the little almonds that go in the little bag things. I guess we're just not feeling too grounded."
Stuart shook his head and pressed his lips together. "Aye, but we didnae have time either. And I hate those almonds, so it isnae such a bad thing. She drew the line at cock-shaped chocolates, though. We got Thornton's champagne truffles, instead," he said with a small smirk. "Maybe if we had more time, it would feel better. I'm nay having regrets, I promise. I'm just scared. It seems so... final. Real. You were caught up with Euan and Gus' cases, and we have Liam's case on the go. Then just when we think it's an even keel, he overdoses, and now we have to get married. I guess things just feel like they arenae settled or content, but it's probably just me. Everyone else seems fine, you know?"
"This is meant to be a happy occasion," Tom murmured. "You're probably wondering how we're supposed to feel happy and celebratory right now. I can't really blame you for that. I guess when we were going to get married you expected everything to still be on an even keel and for no more drama. Or trauma. Liam's agreed to be at the wedding... in the wedding, but I don't think he's happy about that. I feel like the biggest arsehole. I don't talk to him, and then I'm there knocking on his door after a rape attack asking him to be in the wedding party. Then I hear he has an overdose. And Gus is... like you said, suffering from a divorce. Euan's at least happy. I think."
"It's not that I'm not happy. I am. Everyone seems happy in their own way, there is just a lot of tough things. I only know about Liam because he was in the bed next to Ciaran in the hospital. No one knew at that point what happened to him, though. Ciaran made friends with him," Stuart said with a small laugh. "He still agreed, though, so that's something, aye? You didnae say much how it went when you spoke to him, so I just assumed it didnae go so well. I thought it would. I'm sorry. I thought you might be able to help him, but I fucked that one up. Sophie said he was okay when I asked, though. Okay enough. He's driving up with the university guy. Gus isnae in a bad place, either. He's just drained. Like I said, it just feels surreal."
Tom gave a shake of his head. "No, pretty sure I made it worse. I tried to talk to him about stuff, but again... It all came back to the fact that I hadn't been talking to him before so why bother now? It's my own fault, Stuart. Not yours. It was awful. Just... I could have stabbed myself in the eye with how bad it was. I'm a lawyer. I get paid to talk, but I can't talk when it matters. It's bollocks. I get the feeling Ciaran would make friends with anyone. Except the evil grandparents. For the record his eyes are blue and you really would make a fantastic godfather."
Stuart moved over and sat down on the fence bordering the property beside the road. If he was a smoker, he really could go one of those right now. "I cannae believe Gee is getting married and going to be a mum to a teenager. She loves that laddie, though. So does Fitzpatrick. He wouldnae leave the laddie's bedside when he was hurt, and he was a mess with worry. I know he was thinking it was going to affect the whole custody thing, but laddies will be laddies. Anyone knows that. Broken bones are inevitable. At least he isnae starving him and raising him in a crack house." He glanced up at Tom wryly. "Well, it was a long time. But it's a hard situation. You feel like you need to walk on eggshells, but in the process, you forget that he's still Liam under there. He's just lost. I mean, an accidental overdose, sure, but he still wrote himself off with booze. But he hasnae pulled out. He's still giving you what you need."
"I just have no idea how to give him what he needs. The eggshells are tricky to avoid, you know. I can't help it. I just don't want to do him more damage. He's probably dreading being up in front of everyone." Tom stayed standing for the moment and tucked his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "Your BFF is getting an instant package. It's a pretty impressive deal. I don't think either of them would ever let anything happen to that kid again. Well, beyond a few broken bones. Normal accidents are understandable. All kids get a bit banged up while they're growing. They still have yet to tackle the puberty bomb, too."
"Well... how was he? In general, I mean? Did he tell you to bugger off? Did he listen? He agreed, so you must have talked to him on some level. Maybe you just need to try again, even just lightly at the wedding. Ask him how he is, and all that. Assuming he sticks it out. There's probably a chance he won't. Sophie said it's the first social interaction Liam has really had since it all happened. He might get spooked and leave, which is fine. It's not like we wouldn't understand, and there will be a lot of people there." Stuart sniggered a little. "Aye, and she's worried there's a chance he might be gay and he wants me to teach him about gay sex and boys. She already put her foot in it by creating an opening for him to ask aboot wanking. Laddie found Euan's stash of tittie magazines."
Tom gave another shake of his head. "No, no... He just let me talk at him but explained that I was doing a shit job. And that it was fine and I didn't have to try. And then he asked if someone sent me since I wouldn't remember on my own to visit him. Nice, huh? I'm not expecting him to stick it out if he can't. That's fine. I just... I have a lot of ground to make up. Things just got away from me. Again." Tom's eyebrows went up before he smirked. "Shit, are you kidding? I do not envy Gee with that at all. Or either of them. I'd feel like I had more to explain with all the cock magazines lying around."
Stuart pulled his lips to the side in thought. "Sounds like he was resolved, to be honest. Like he expected just from the situation that you wouldn't be able to handle talking to him anyway, so he gave you an out. I'm not trying to cause arguments here, I'm not. I think you need help with figuring out how to handle it. Avoiding it will make it worse. So, what does Liam mean to you? Is he your friend? Or just an ex lay? Or just Ethan's brother-in-law you shagged a few times? Or is he more? Because if he's more, you need to at least figure out how to talk to him." He shook his head. "Nope, not kidding. He was all with the questions once the avenue was open, too. She's just all nervous he might turn out gay and then he won't have the right guidance with it. Maybe I should send him your way," he joked with a smirk.
Tom pointed at Stuart. "He's my friend. I care about him. He's all those things, but he's a friend. He does mean a lot to me. That doesn't mean I know how to talk to him though, so he's right about that. I've had clients get in the shit, but I still don't know how to handle someone close to me getting in the shit unless it's Ethan. Even then... Fuck, if Ethan had ever been raped..." Tom trailed off when his thoughts went to dark places and all he could do was shake his head helplessly. "Well, I know I am the most awesome gay man alive, but I'm sure you'd do just fine. I'm sure Gee would too. Better than she thinks."
"How is it any different if it was Liam and not Ethan? Same thing. If it was Ethan, you would still be there for him. You would talk to him, you wouldn't avoid him. I think you're avoiding Liam because it's Liam. He's got this whole air that he needs protecting and that he's young. You maybe even blame yourself a bit because of what happened with him in your office..." Stuart added, watching Tom closely. "Of course she would, as would Euan. From what I've seen, you just do what your kids need. I mean, how did your parents take it when you told them you were gay?"
Tom shrugged as he turned away slightly before dropping down on the fence next to Stuart. "I think he still blames himself for that, so it's hardly going to make him feel better about what happened to him at that club. I still can't fucking believe it. He's not Liam right now. He's... He's this shadow. It's scary. And sad. Liam would have never wanted anyone's sympathy before. He wouldn't want someone upset over him. Or for him. And I know he hates the eggshell thing. I know he thinks he's obligated to give me what I want, too. And he shouldn't still be the one looking after everyone when he's in trouble."
Stuart nodded a little and snaked his arm around Tom's middle to press a kiss to his jaw. He was glad Tom was talking about it. To this point, he really hadn't much. He was setting it aside and staying busy so he didn't need to think about what happened. "At the end of the day, though, he's still Liam. He's training to become a doctor. Looking after everyone is what he does. It's what he was doing when... the shit hit the fucking fan. Which is... I'm nay proud of how any of that went down at all. I still feel sick with guilt when I remember how I acted. I was mental, didnae want to hear otherwise, either. He's been put on medication, so he probably needs it for something. This time, he probably doesnae really know how to help everyone, so he's just switching off."
"He still managed to deliver his own nephew. That was definitely helping someone. And he's coming to the wedding. That's helping me. He really didn't seem happy about the medication, though. I think he thought it must have been some kinda failure. Plus he's worried about side effects. Although after having his stomach pumped, I'm thinking that the side effects might be the least of hi worries." Tom gave Stuart a small smile. "Hey, hey... it's in the past. I know you wouldn't have acted mental by choice. I just hate how it all blew up. Liam shouldn't have been caught in the middle. He just never wanted to hurt anyone. Now everyone's conscious about hurting him."
"And maybe that right there is the problem. If enough people start treating you a certain way, you start believing it. Maybe it's just easier for him to go along with everyone protecting him because it's gotten too hard to fight them with it. You remember how you felt after your accident, right? After the whole case? You just wanted to sleep. You didnae want to get out of bed. You didnae want to get into a car for a wee while there. You werenae sure you could ever trust another driver again. But... we got through it, aye? I helped you face the shit. We took it how you needed to." Stuart rested his head against Tom's with a small sigh. "Maybe Liam hasnae had anyone to step up and help him through it because everyone's too busy protecting him?"
Tom pressed his lips together. "Hopefully that's what the professor can do. He is Liam's boyfriend, right? It might also help prove to Liam that Joe's in it for the long haul. That he doesn't need sex to stick around, or anything. I don't know. I definitely remember what it was like for me, so I can sympathise with where Liam's head space must be. Still doesn't mean I know if I'll do the right thing. You remember how hard it was talking to me sometimes, right? And I didn't have anywhere near the network Liam does. I'd be lost if it wasn't for you, though. That much I know. I can't ever tell you what it means to me, Stuart. What you did... Looking after me, being there for me."
Stuart smiled at Tom, looking over his face. "You dinnae need to tell me. I know. I do, okay? I wouldnae be here marrying you if I didnae. But... and it's a big but... I wouldnae have gotten through it without my family. I wouldnae. I would have lost it. Which is why Liam needs more than just the professor. Are they officially dating? I dinnae know. Liam never mentioned him all those times we were questioning him. Plus, you still needed Ethan, and Sophie, to get through through it. I'm sure the uni guy knows what he can do to try and help, but that doesnae mean you should just step back. Liam already thinks you're cripple when it comes to talking to him. So, prove him wrong..." He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Tom's mouth.
"Is this the part where we have pep talk sex?" Tom asked with a smirk as he slipped an arm around Stuart and gave him an affectionate squeeze. "It can be combined with the make up sex and not as angry. I mean, this is our last chance before we get separated..."
Stuart raised his eyebrows. "Right here on the side of the road? And how is that romantic pre-wedding behaviour, hm?" he asked, still smirking.
Tom chuckled as he caught Stuart's lips in a lingering kiss. "I seem to remember agreeing that we were never going to be too traditional. There's also a car right there waiting to be defiled if you'd prefer a little more privacy."
Stuart glanced over at the car in amusement. "You know, you really should get a car with a better backseat. I had a seatbelt bruise on my hip for a week after that time in Surrey. There could also be people waiting for us, and are we even allowed to fuck the day before the wedding..." he asked, winding Tom up.
Tom let his hand drop to slap Stuart on the arse. "Well, I can't help it if I get a little overexcited. And really, you should have taken your seatbelt off a little sooner than you did. Then you wouldn't have gotten bruised. I'm sure they can wait. I don't think anyone's in a rush today despite what you think. And you have your phone on you, right? I have mine. So if anyone needs us I'm sure they'll just ring. Besides which, we're the stars of the show. They don't get to be impatient with us."
"Are you giving me free pass to ditch Gee's wedding?" Stuart murmured and found Tom's lips with his own again. He was wondering how many other people taking the long drive up to Scotland were stopping on the side of the road for 'refreshments'. Kenzie would probably demand it with Braden, considering she had been ravishing him at every turn lately. Poor bugger was exhausted. Same would go for Ethan and Sophie, he assumed. Iain and Ryan, probably, considering Ryan's in-laws were having Hayden for the weekend. Back seat sex was probably going to get a work out.
"No," Tom answered with a soft growl. "I'm giving you a free pass to be late. I know you. You'll start to regret missing the wedding after a little while. Then it'll just grow, and grow, and grow. You won't be happy. You'll sulk and pout and I can't have that. It doesn't go with the tie I'll be wearing. They'll understand. We can just say we got... tied up." Tom gripped Stuart around the waist more firmly and pulled them both up as he guided Stuart back towards the car. "I know it's only one night, but it's gonna kill me. I need my last fix, love."
Word Count | 4,684
Stuart wanted it, Tom thought it was plebian food, and emotions just exploded. It turned out they didn't stop at all and continued on their path to Gretna Green in silence. Both were stubborn guys when they wanted to be, and seemed reluctant to be the one to break the tense silence. Stuart had come to drum his fingers softly on his thigh, looking pointedly out the window away from Tom until he just couldn't take it anymore. "Alright, pull over. We're having angry make up sex right now," he stated succinctly. "Or we're at least going to talk about the fact we screamed at each other over nothing so my gut can stop feeling like it's lodged up in my nasal passage."
Tom's lips had been a thin line since the argument, the lawyer not relaxing at all after the explosion. He had on his glasses for the drive and took one hand off the wheel to push them back up his nose slightly so they sat more comfortably. For a moment he considered ignoring Stuart's request if only because he was still having lingering urges of prickishness. But then the idea of angry make up sex was hard to ignore. He was still male, and he was still attracted to Stuart unquestionably. He also knew this was likely the last chance there'd be for sex before the wedding night. Tom cleared his throat before he found a spot to pull over and killed the engine. "It's our wedding, Stuart. Emotions are bound to be high. It doesn't make it any better, it just does explain it all. I'm sorry I was a fuckwit."
Stuart scrunched his nose up and shifted restlessly in the passenger's chair with a small huff. "... and I'm sorry I said I wanted McDonald's when I wasnae even hungry. I was just bored with being a passenger and bored of the road trip. We should have flown. This is fucked up. It's screwing with my head being stuck with monotonous scenery flicking by me and trying nay to think about everything. Then I gotta get into a car with my brothers for the rest of the trip, and they're going to pull the piss outta me." He grabbed the handle of the door and opened it, pushing it with his leg so he could get some fresh air. He wasn't so much getting cold feet, as maybe more on the lukewarm front. He just wasn't about to verbalise that in case in jinxed anything. Suddenly the enormity of getting married was hitting him like a tonne of bricks, and being stuck in the car for so long was making it worse. He wanted his big brother. Iain would know what to say, or have some sort of advice.
"And I have to go with Ethan and Soph. Soph who'll probably talk up marriage and tell me how wonderful tomorrow will be, and Ethan who will just stick with pulling the piss. So you're not the only one, love. Or he'll just be trying not to run screaming from her belly." Tom wasn't really getting cold feet either. In fact, he was unexpectedly calm when it came to thinking about the wedding. It was everything else that was setting him off. "Hey, we're driving so your BFF can get married. Wasn't that the plan? I'm sorry the scenery sucks, but just think of the pay-offs. Or grab my iPod and watch some movies. Or do you want to drive for a bit?"
"Aye, well, I'm travelling with Gus, who has just gone through a messy and shitty divorce. Really doubt he'll be talking marriage up to me..." Stuart glanced out the window again and reached up to scratch the back of his head. "She's getting married to look pretty in court! No one should get married because of that. She's going to regret it. It's too soon. It was just a knee-jerk reaction to trying to beat the fucked up grandparents. It's screwed in the head. She willnae even have her folks there. That's wrong. Please, dinnae let me too close in her presence, I'll bite her head off with the way I'm feeling right now. Watching movies on that thing makes me puke. If I drive, I'll turn the car around and go nowhere near Gretna Green," he warned.
Tom glanced at him. "What about him and Jules? I know it's not marriage, but surely he can still realise not all relationships are shit. And he did used to be happy." Tom listened to his fiancé, and made a mental note to definitely not leave Stuart alone with Gee. "Are you really going to avoid Gretna Green? You can't, love. This is your best friend and she wants you there on her wedding day. Just like you want her there for yours. Maybe we did put more planning into it, but I think you've got the wrong end of the stick. Fitzpatrick would never let her do it without knowing Gee was definitely okay with it all. And I think he'd also somewhere deep down understand that her parents will only be able to see her married once. He's a romantic under all those tattoos."
Stuart shot Tom a warning look. "Please, tell me you havenae been showering Gus with platitudes about the grass being greener and to always look on the bright side of life? This isnae Monty Python! His ex has been putting him through hell and the ink is barely dry on the divorce papers! Give him time to grieve, for god's sake," he huffed in annoyance. He remembered how much it sucked when his first engagement broke. He wasn't sad to see the back of her, but it still came as a really difficult blow. He hadn't felt like dating again for months on end after that. He had no idea why he was in such a shitty mood now, either, it was just hanging over him like a rain cloud he didn't know how to get rid of. If there was a cranky cat around, he would probably kick it. "Well, I think it fucking sucks. That kid hasnae even met his grandparents yet. What if he hates them? When I suggested this to them, I didnae mean she should just cut her parents out. I cannae even... I just..." He held his hand up and shook his head. He couldn't even fathom doing something like this without his family.
"No, I haven't. I'm not that suicidal." Tom pressed his lips together as he took a deep breath before he got out of the car to stretch his legs. He was worried he was going to wind up biting back at Stuart again. He had no idea where the Scot's mood had come from and he didn't want to blow it out of proportion. Tom rubbed his hands over his face as he breathed in the fresh air before he came around to Stuart's side of the car and opened the door up further. "You've met Gee's parents, right? They're coming for our wedding. Do you think they're people that kid would hate? So they're not cut out... Just not part of the plan. And maybe we should have done something to stop that, but we haven't."
"Aye, I have, and my dick has been in her once. His has been in her a billion times, and he's never met them. That kid has Exorcist-level grandparents in Ireland, maybe he needs to suss out the new prospects on the market? Nay, I dinnae think they'll hate him, but I cannae speak for the laddie. I havenae met him either. He's like the Bubble Boy. When I went to the hospital, he was sleeping the whole time. And Gee thinks I would make good godfather prospects. I dinnae even know what colour eyes the kid has." Stuart walked away from the car and rubbed his hands over his face. "That's all beside the point, though. She isnae just going shopping at Tesco. She's getting married, and she's their only kid. My parents almost made me sign in blood to never elope. I feel terrible for them, that's all."
Tom rubbed his hand over his torso before he stretched and started to work the kinks out. He was healed now. He just had a large scar and some occasional twinges to remind him about the near death experience. It all seemed like a lifetime ago. Back then he had been sure about marriage, but he'd still known that he didn't want to be without Stuart. "He's never really struck me as the meet-the-parents type. It's not like he made any impromptu trip to Scotland at Christmas time and met them by default either, is it? Their relationship developed differently to ours. It's had a lot of bumps and twists, and for a while there I was wondering if it would even last. But it has, and now there's a kid in the equation. A lot of things have been turned upside down, Stuart. I love you for being a family man, I really do. But Gee's clearly decided that eloping is a good idea. It might be a mistake, but it's hers to make. Is this really why you're so worked up today? Do you genuinely not want to be there for her?"
"I'm going, arenae I?" Stuart pointed out quietly. He wasn't going to miss it, he just didn't agree with what she was doing. Her parents would want to be a part of this. Parents still needed to know they were needed by their kids, even if they were all grown up with lives of their own. He folded his arms and hugged himself tightly. "I dinnae know what's wrong with me! It all feels weird. Nay necessarily in a bad way, just like... it isnae me. Everything has come so quickly and all this shit has changed. It feels like someone hit fast-forward on life and I was left sitting on the sofa in my boxers with a lost remote."
Tom came over to Stuart and slipped his arm around his shoulders as he pressed his lips to Stuart's temple. "Maybe it wasn't so great getting a wedding planner after all. We didn't exactly get a lot of hands on involvement in our own wedding, did we? We just have to show up on time. Say the words. There was no fighting over place settings, no worrying about the little almonds that go in the little bag things. I guess we're just not feeling too grounded."
Stuart shook his head and pressed his lips together. "Aye, but we didnae have time either. And I hate those almonds, so it isnae such a bad thing. She drew the line at cock-shaped chocolates, though. We got Thornton's champagne truffles, instead," he said with a small smirk. "Maybe if we had more time, it would feel better. I'm nay having regrets, I promise. I'm just scared. It seems so... final. Real. You were caught up with Euan and Gus' cases, and we have Liam's case on the go. Then just when we think it's an even keel, he overdoses, and now we have to get married. I guess things just feel like they arenae settled or content, but it's probably just me. Everyone else seems fine, you know?"
"This is meant to be a happy occasion," Tom murmured. "You're probably wondering how we're supposed to feel happy and celebratory right now. I can't really blame you for that. I guess when we were going to get married you expected everything to still be on an even keel and for no more drama. Or trauma. Liam's agreed to be at the wedding... in the wedding, but I don't think he's happy about that. I feel like the biggest arsehole. I don't talk to him, and then I'm there knocking on his door after a rape attack asking him to be in the wedding party. Then I hear he has an overdose. And Gus is... like you said, suffering from a divorce. Euan's at least happy. I think."
"It's not that I'm not happy. I am. Everyone seems happy in their own way, there is just a lot of tough things. I only know about Liam because he was in the bed next to Ciaran in the hospital. No one knew at that point what happened to him, though. Ciaran made friends with him," Stuart said with a small laugh. "He still agreed, though, so that's something, aye? You didnae say much how it went when you spoke to him, so I just assumed it didnae go so well. I thought it would. I'm sorry. I thought you might be able to help him, but I fucked that one up. Sophie said he was okay when I asked, though. Okay enough. He's driving up with the university guy. Gus isnae in a bad place, either. He's just drained. Like I said, it just feels surreal."
Tom gave a shake of his head. "No, pretty sure I made it worse. I tried to talk to him about stuff, but again... It all came back to the fact that I hadn't been talking to him before so why bother now? It's my own fault, Stuart. Not yours. It was awful. Just... I could have stabbed myself in the eye with how bad it was. I'm a lawyer. I get paid to talk, but I can't talk when it matters. It's bollocks. I get the feeling Ciaran would make friends with anyone. Except the evil grandparents. For the record his eyes are blue and you really would make a fantastic godfather."
Stuart moved over and sat down on the fence bordering the property beside the road. If he was a smoker, he really could go one of those right now. "I cannae believe Gee is getting married and going to be a mum to a teenager. She loves that laddie, though. So does Fitzpatrick. He wouldnae leave the laddie's bedside when he was hurt, and he was a mess with worry. I know he was thinking it was going to affect the whole custody thing, but laddies will be laddies. Anyone knows that. Broken bones are inevitable. At least he isnae starving him and raising him in a crack house." He glanced up at Tom wryly. "Well, it was a long time. But it's a hard situation. You feel like you need to walk on eggshells, but in the process, you forget that he's still Liam under there. He's just lost. I mean, an accidental overdose, sure, but he still wrote himself off with booze. But he hasnae pulled out. He's still giving you what you need."
"I just have no idea how to give him what he needs. The eggshells are tricky to avoid, you know. I can't help it. I just don't want to do him more damage. He's probably dreading being up in front of everyone." Tom stayed standing for the moment and tucked his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "Your BFF is getting an instant package. It's a pretty impressive deal. I don't think either of them would ever let anything happen to that kid again. Well, beyond a few broken bones. Normal accidents are understandable. All kids get a bit banged up while they're growing. They still have yet to tackle the puberty bomb, too."
"Well... how was he? In general, I mean? Did he tell you to bugger off? Did he listen? He agreed, so you must have talked to him on some level. Maybe you just need to try again, even just lightly at the wedding. Ask him how he is, and all that. Assuming he sticks it out. There's probably a chance he won't. Sophie said it's the first social interaction Liam has really had since it all happened. He might get spooked and leave, which is fine. It's not like we wouldn't understand, and there will be a lot of people there." Stuart sniggered a little. "Aye, and she's worried there's a chance he might be gay and he wants me to teach him about gay sex and boys. She already put her foot in it by creating an opening for him to ask aboot wanking. Laddie found Euan's stash of tittie magazines."
Tom gave another shake of his head. "No, no... He just let me talk at him but explained that I was doing a shit job. And that it was fine and I didn't have to try. And then he asked if someone sent me since I wouldn't remember on my own to visit him. Nice, huh? I'm not expecting him to stick it out if he can't. That's fine. I just... I have a lot of ground to make up. Things just got away from me. Again." Tom's eyebrows went up before he smirked. "Shit, are you kidding? I do not envy Gee with that at all. Or either of them. I'd feel like I had more to explain with all the cock magazines lying around."
Stuart pulled his lips to the side in thought. "Sounds like he was resolved, to be honest. Like he expected just from the situation that you wouldn't be able to handle talking to him anyway, so he gave you an out. I'm not trying to cause arguments here, I'm not. I think you need help with figuring out how to handle it. Avoiding it will make it worse. So, what does Liam mean to you? Is he your friend? Or just an ex lay? Or just Ethan's brother-in-law you shagged a few times? Or is he more? Because if he's more, you need to at least figure out how to talk to him." He shook his head. "Nope, not kidding. He was all with the questions once the avenue was open, too. She's just all nervous he might turn out gay and then he won't have the right guidance with it. Maybe I should send him your way," he joked with a smirk.
Tom pointed at Stuart. "He's my friend. I care about him. He's all those things, but he's a friend. He does mean a lot to me. That doesn't mean I know how to talk to him though, so he's right about that. I've had clients get in the shit, but I still don't know how to handle someone close to me getting in the shit unless it's Ethan. Even then... Fuck, if Ethan had ever been raped..." Tom trailed off when his thoughts went to dark places and all he could do was shake his head helplessly. "Well, I know I am the most awesome gay man alive, but I'm sure you'd do just fine. I'm sure Gee would too. Better than she thinks."
"How is it any different if it was Liam and not Ethan? Same thing. If it was Ethan, you would still be there for him. You would talk to him, you wouldn't avoid him. I think you're avoiding Liam because it's Liam. He's got this whole air that he needs protecting and that he's young. You maybe even blame yourself a bit because of what happened with him in your office..." Stuart added, watching Tom closely. "Of course she would, as would Euan. From what I've seen, you just do what your kids need. I mean, how did your parents take it when you told them you were gay?"
Tom shrugged as he turned away slightly before dropping down on the fence next to Stuart. "I think he still blames himself for that, so it's hardly going to make him feel better about what happened to him at that club. I still can't fucking believe it. He's not Liam right now. He's... He's this shadow. It's scary. And sad. Liam would have never wanted anyone's sympathy before. He wouldn't want someone upset over him. Or for him. And I know he hates the eggshell thing. I know he thinks he's obligated to give me what I want, too. And he shouldn't still be the one looking after everyone when he's in trouble."
Stuart nodded a little and snaked his arm around Tom's middle to press a kiss to his jaw. He was glad Tom was talking about it. To this point, he really hadn't much. He was setting it aside and staying busy so he didn't need to think about what happened. "At the end of the day, though, he's still Liam. He's training to become a doctor. Looking after everyone is what he does. It's what he was doing when... the shit hit the fucking fan. Which is... I'm nay proud of how any of that went down at all. I still feel sick with guilt when I remember how I acted. I was mental, didnae want to hear otherwise, either. He's been put on medication, so he probably needs it for something. This time, he probably doesnae really know how to help everyone, so he's just switching off."
"He still managed to deliver his own nephew. That was definitely helping someone. And he's coming to the wedding. That's helping me. He really didn't seem happy about the medication, though. I think he thought it must have been some kinda failure. Plus he's worried about side effects. Although after having his stomach pumped, I'm thinking that the side effects might be the least of hi worries." Tom gave Stuart a small smile. "Hey, hey... it's in the past. I know you wouldn't have acted mental by choice. I just hate how it all blew up. Liam shouldn't have been caught in the middle. He just never wanted to hurt anyone. Now everyone's conscious about hurting him."
"And maybe that right there is the problem. If enough people start treating you a certain way, you start believing it. Maybe it's just easier for him to go along with everyone protecting him because it's gotten too hard to fight them with it. You remember how you felt after your accident, right? After the whole case? You just wanted to sleep. You didnae want to get out of bed. You didnae want to get into a car for a wee while there. You werenae sure you could ever trust another driver again. But... we got through it, aye? I helped you face the shit. We took it how you needed to." Stuart rested his head against Tom's with a small sigh. "Maybe Liam hasnae had anyone to step up and help him through it because everyone's too busy protecting him?"
Tom pressed his lips together. "Hopefully that's what the professor can do. He is Liam's boyfriend, right? It might also help prove to Liam that Joe's in it for the long haul. That he doesn't need sex to stick around, or anything. I don't know. I definitely remember what it was like for me, so I can sympathise with where Liam's head space must be. Still doesn't mean I know if I'll do the right thing. You remember how hard it was talking to me sometimes, right? And I didn't have anywhere near the network Liam does. I'd be lost if it wasn't for you, though. That much I know. I can't ever tell you what it means to me, Stuart. What you did... Looking after me, being there for me."
Stuart smiled at Tom, looking over his face. "You dinnae need to tell me. I know. I do, okay? I wouldnae be here marrying you if I didnae. But... and it's a big but... I wouldnae have gotten through it without my family. I wouldnae. I would have lost it. Which is why Liam needs more than just the professor. Are they officially dating? I dinnae know. Liam never mentioned him all those times we were questioning him. Plus, you still needed Ethan, and Sophie, to get through through it. I'm sure the uni guy knows what he can do to try and help, but that doesnae mean you should just step back. Liam already thinks you're cripple when it comes to talking to him. So, prove him wrong..." He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Tom's mouth.
"Is this the part where we have pep talk sex?" Tom asked with a smirk as he slipped an arm around Stuart and gave him an affectionate squeeze. "It can be combined with the make up sex and not as angry. I mean, this is our last chance before we get separated..."
Stuart raised his eyebrows. "Right here on the side of the road? And how is that romantic pre-wedding behaviour, hm?" he asked, still smirking.
Tom chuckled as he caught Stuart's lips in a lingering kiss. "I seem to remember agreeing that we were never going to be too traditional. There's also a car right there waiting to be defiled if you'd prefer a little more privacy."
Stuart glanced over at the car in amusement. "You know, you really should get a car with a better backseat. I had a seatbelt bruise on my hip for a week after that time in Surrey. There could also be people waiting for us, and are we even allowed to fuck the day before the wedding..." he asked, winding Tom up.
Tom let his hand drop to slap Stuart on the arse. "Well, I can't help it if I get a little overexcited. And really, you should have taken your seatbelt off a little sooner than you did. Then you wouldn't have gotten bruised. I'm sure they can wait. I don't think anyone's in a rush today despite what you think. And you have your phone on you, right? I have mine. So if anyone needs us I'm sure they'll just ring. Besides which, we're the stars of the show. They don't get to be impatient with us."
"Are you giving me free pass to ditch Gee's wedding?" Stuart murmured and found Tom's lips with his own again. He was wondering how many other people taking the long drive up to Scotland were stopping on the side of the road for 'refreshments'. Kenzie would probably demand it with Braden, considering she had been ravishing him at every turn lately. Poor bugger was exhausted. Same would go for Ethan and Sophie, he assumed. Iain and Ryan, probably, considering Ryan's in-laws were having Hayden for the weekend. Back seat sex was probably going to get a work out.
"No," Tom answered with a soft growl. "I'm giving you a free pass to be late. I know you. You'll start to regret missing the wedding after a little while. Then it'll just grow, and grow, and grow. You won't be happy. You'll sulk and pout and I can't have that. It doesn't go with the tie I'll be wearing. They'll understand. We can just say we got... tied up." Tom gripped Stuart around the waist more firmly and pulled them both up as he guided Stuart back towards the car. "I know it's only one night, but it's gonna kill me. I need my last fix, love."
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