RP LOG with cantbuy_me | Turn of events
Ethan was usually pretty skilled at multitasking, only it wasn't always an easy feat to pull off when you were trying to do things with two hands that required at least six. He had his laptop open on the island in their massive kitchen trying to reply to an email from his HR Director about a recruitment drive they were running with the universities in four capital cities around the world to find some of the best new graduate pharmacists on offer for the company. He was also trying to stir milk into his coffee, tie his tie and check his new iPhone for any new messages. Only, the iPhone 4 was a new acquirement at the suggestion of Tom, but Ethan knew fuck all about using it and he was getting frustrated when he kept pushing the wrong icons. With a particularly rough push, the phone went skidding across the counter surface, and over the edge. Ethan swore - loudly - and the shock of seeing his new phone disappear over the edge of the counter had him spilling his coffee that came dangerously close to his laptop. He shrieked, making a quick grab for the tea-towel hanging on the stove, but the Buzz Lightyear slippers (an interesting look when he was suited and all businessy attire from the ankles up) he was wearing slipped on the marble tiles, nearly going arse-over-tit.
"SOPHIE!" he called out to his wife in a panic, managing to throw the towel over the spill before it reached his laptop. He felt a pull in his groin, followed by pain. If he just pulled a groin muscle that prevented anything sexual, he was going to be royally pissed off.
Sophie was usually the first one of of bed, and the first one dressed. It meant that she could get coffee and breakfast ready for Ethan while he showered and by the time the two of them were synced, they could have a quick breakfast together before the work day started. This morning though she was struggling to get out of bed, and Ethan had stopped trying to rouse her when she growled at him and then hid under the covers. She felt like crap. As soon as Ethan had gone down stairs, Sophie had left her cave in the bed and locked herself in the bathroom. She wasn't even sure why she was in there, just that lately if she felt like she'd been peeing a lot more than normal, but today there was just an intense nausea that didn't seem to want to leave her alone.
When Ethan yelled for her though, she unlocked the bathroom, and came running down the hallway still looking a mess. Her hair was all over the place from being in bed, and one strap of her slip was hanging off her shoulder and the back of it was flashing her arse because she hadn't bothered to straighten it yet. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" It was all she got out before the nausea came back with a vengeance and she had to quickly get to the kitchen sink to throw up.
Ethan literally jumped in fright when she appeared and then two seconds later was bent over the sink hurling. That wasn't exactly the entry he was expecting, and it really took him by surprise. Sure, she had nearly taken his hand off that morning when he asked if she could help him with breakfast because he usually had a billion things on the go in the mornings anyway, but he gave up even trying and backed away quickly when he got growled at. Probably why he was in such a mutlitasking mess. He went to round the counter, but there was a shoot of pain in his groin and he stopped with a gasped, "Ohfuckouch!" It didn't stop him, though. Somewhat like a grandpa, he managed to reach his wife's side and comb her hair out of her face to hold it back. She really was out of sorts. More than. He wasn't used to seeing her like this. In fact, maybe never, or at least very rarely. "Hey, why didn't you say you were sick, babe? That's my job being a stubborn arse, not yours."
"I don't know," she choked out as she spat into the sink to try and get rid of the taste of vomit. She reached out to turn the tap on, her other hand still gripping the edge of the sink in case there was more throwing up to be done. It didn't exactly feel like she was done. "I wasn't really sure. I just feel... tired. And everything hurts. Even my boobs hurt. Are you okay? What did you do?" Even when she had her head in the sink she was still worried about her husband. She turned the tap off as she let go of the sink to touch him, her hand patting his chest. "I'm sorry about before, sweetheart. I really am."
Ethan reached up and got a glass from the cupboard above his head and turned the tap on so he could fill it for her. "Your boobs hurt? Did I do something to them? We weren't that rough last night, were we? I mean, we were, but not there. Is it the flu? Maybe it's the flu? There are flus going around, you know. All over the place. I know, I've been treating people who have it like lepers. Not that I would ever treat you like that, babe. I just hate being sick. A lot." He was slightly panicky at seeing Sophie like this, and that sense he might not know what to do was kicking it. For everyone else, he seemed to be able to manage, but when it came to her, it was different. "I think I pulled a ball, maybe. But it's okay. I'm fine if I don't move. I think I smashed my phone, and sent a half finished email to my HR Director, but that's okay. Hopefully..." Just for checking purposes, though, he cupped his balls, making sure they were still where they were supposed to be.
Sophie straightened up and just as she was about to relax, another wave of nausea slammed into her and she was back to sticking her head in the sink. She cursed a blue streak after she was done and shook her head to finally answer his question. "No, it wasn't you. I don't know what it is. Maybe it is just the flu, but I was feeling okay last night. I think. I don't really remember. I got distracted by the sex. Which is a good thing. There was a sick kid at work yesterday, so maybe I got something off him. Works pretty bloody quick though." Sophie leaned against her husband as she took the water, her arm slipping around him for support. She really wanted to ask him to stay home with her, but she realised it was probably going to be asking too much. "I need to call my boss. And you need to take it easy. Your ball will get better, you can send another email, and your phone..." she twisted slowly to check over her shoulder. "... looks okay."
Ethan pulled a face and stuck out his tongue. "I hate the fucker. I want my old one back but my PA gave it to some phone recycle scheme at the shop." He went back to watching her in concern. "I'm calling the doctor. Liam. I'll call Liam. He'll come, I'll go get him. I'll send my driver. It's just a short drive from there to here, and he'll be okay. He'll want to help. Just to make sure you're okay, and don't say no, beause I'm not listening. I'm not. This is me not listening." He grabbed the cordless phone that was on the wall nearby, and whimpered with the movement. It wasn't agony, but it wasn't comfortable, either. He went to dial Liam's number, but punched in his 2IC's mobile instead, leaving the guy a message to explain he would be working from home today and to go to all his scheduled meetings for him. "I'm staying here, too," he told her as an afterthought.
Sophie nearly sobbed in relief at hearing that Ethan was staying, and without considering what her actions would really mean, she shoved a hand between them and started to massage his groin and balls to see if it would make it easier for Ethan to move. Not that she wanted him to move. She wanted her giant husband pillow to stay right where he was a she rest her head on his chest and whimpered as the growliness gave way to Sophie feeling sorry for herself. "I was going to ask you to, but I didn't want to. It didn't seem like it was fair. I just really need you right now." She looked up at Ethan as her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. "My boobs still really hurt. I don't think Liam's going to want to deal with that."
"Okay, you don't want to be massaging in that general direction right now..." Ethan warned, cupping her wrist to stop her hand. "Please?" he added pleadingly. He didn't want to get a boner she wouldn't be able to follow through on. It would be torture. Even if she was sick, he was still turned on by her body, especially all this talk about boobs when he wasn't allowed to touch them. "He's going to have to deal with it. Maybe just in passing. He can do the doctor thing with all the other stuff. Unless you want me to get in a stranger? I hate your doctor, by the way. The chick with the weird dress sense. No offense, but I do. She gives me the evil eyeball like I have no right marrying you. Or maybe she just has regular eye twitches."
"But your perfect," Sophie murmured as she took her hand away to pull down her slip when she started to feel the draft around her arse. She made a kissy face at Ethan before she turned away to throw up again in the sink. "Buggering arsehole bollocking fucked up wankers!" She pulled away from her husband to slump against the sink, tears streaming down her cheeks now as she realised she really was sick. She hadn't thrown up in years, and now her streak was coming to a very abrupt end. "Call Liam now!"
Ethan scrunched up his nose again and held his hand up. "Just for the record, I love you, but that was really unsexy," he had to tell her wryly. "Imagine what would have happened if you were giving me a handjob. See why I didn't want to be scarred for life? Hey... heyyyy, why are you crying? No, no! No crying, it's just the flu! Shit. What can I do? What did I do? I didn't really mean the unsexy thing. You're not unsexy!" He fumbled with the phone. "Shit, I don't remember his number."
"He's on speed dial! It's number three," Sophie choked out between the tears. "I know you meant the unsexy thing, but that's not why I'm crying. I don't know why I'm crying. I just really hate throwing up. It feels awful. I never know when it's going to stop, and why do my fucking boobs ache?!" Sophie reached for her slip and held it away from her breasts to try and stop the fabric from rubbing against them. She was still sobbing and stood there feeling even more like an unsexy soggy mess as she just looked at her husband helplessly.
Ethan held the phone up in surrender and covered his eyes with his other hand. "Stop, please! I know you aren't playing with your own boobs, but it looks like you are and my dick thinks you are, and it's not fair because there is no sexy times going to be had and I just... just... call Liam. Yes. I can do that." He hit three on the speed dial and put the phone to his ear. "Wait, just out of curiosity, who is on one and two?" Pointless question, but he couldn't say he was much of a smooth thinker when he was worried and horny all at once.
Sophie dropped her hands away from her chest, and gripped at the sink again as she tried to find a comfortable way to stand, but her back was aching and her feet just didn't want to cooperate. She rinsed out the sink again, and then took a sip of the water Ethan had given her earlier. The tears weren't stopping though, and Sophie regretted coming out of her bed cave. "Tom and my parents." She shuffled over to the kitchen table so she could sit down, and lay her cheek against the cool wooden surface. "I feel like shit," she mumbled.
"I know... I know, babe. I'm calling now. Is that sanitary?" Ethan found himself ask and then waved his hand. "Shush. Don't listen to me. This is me calling! Right now- Liam! Hey, dude. It's Ethan..." he started carrying on a conversation with his youngest brother-in-law that first involved Ethan basically telling Liam to come over, followed by Liam telling him to go fuck himself. This got Ethan's hackles up, but when he heard Liam's quiet voice down the end of the phone saying he just didn't want to go out anywhere, but to tell him Sophie's symptoms. Ethan blinked and glanced at Sophie. "Um... okay... she's throwing up, and she looks pale. She said she hurts all over and her boobs hurt the most. She's crying, too, because she hates throwing up. I hate it too, but who doesn't hate it? What can I give her for the flu?" He waited for Liam's answer, and for a moment he just stood there waiting for something else before he gave a sharp, high-pitched laugh and dropped the phone onto the counter, accidentally hanging up. He laughed again, but then snapped his mouth shut, his eyes widening probably as far as they would go and he just stared at Sophie in frozen shock.
Sophie heard the laugh and moved her head enough to look at her husband. She couldn't understand why he was looking so shocked if all she had was the flu. "What did he say? Why are you looking like that? I'm not playing with my boobs, or touching your dick!"
Ethan broke out into a strange sweat and started to laugh again, though this time it was breathless when it felt a little hard to breathe. He grabbed at his tie to loosen it. "No flu..." he said, panting and moving on from the tie to undo the buttons on his shirt. "My god, it's hot in here. It's hot, isn't it? Not pregnant. Flu. I mean. Not... pregnant. Pregnant." He repeated again, trying to figure out exactly how that word felt in his mouth.
"Preg... what?" Sophie struggled up into a sitting position and watched her husband as the word 'pregnant' rolled around in her mind. She was pregnant. But she couldn't be pregnant. She'd only just had her period-- "Oh my god. Oh my god! Fuck. No! It's flu. It has to be flu... doesn't it?"
"I don't know!" Ethan cried, his voice a lot higher than it normally was. "He's your brother! He said it! Not me! I didn't make you pregnant! I mean, I didn't make him say you were pregnant! You're not pregnant! We don't do pregnant yet and we did birth control! Which means controlling births and pregnant leads to births, and we controlled that! We did! I saw you do it!"
Sophie pressed her fingers against her lips when she wasn't sure if her reaction was going to be to laugh, cry, or throw up. "We need a test," she finally whispered. Her other hand went to her stomach, and she held it there as she tried, through some form of osmosis, to work out if she was pregnant. Now that Liam had said it, and Ethan was panicking about it, it did seem possible. Everything fit. She had skipped her last period, her breasts were sensitive... she was tired, she was experiencing morning sickness. "I'm... I'm pregnant."
Ethan shook his head. "No... no, let's not jump to conclusions," he said, holding his hand up like he was surrendering a war. In fact, if he had a white flag at that point, he would probably be waving it just by default. "All he said was there were no sore boobs with the flu and that it sounded like you were pregnant. See? Sounded like. You know, like log sounds like dog, but a dog isn't a log, right? Because if a dog was a log, then there would have to have been sex without a condom and there--" He stopped and blinked. "Ohh-h shit. The day after Liam got hurt. But there was the pill. You had the pill, and it was one time! And there was... no. There was antibiotics, for that cut on your hand, and that pink stick on the box about contraception, which is why there was condoms and then there was no condom just once. Once! What are you, Bionic Fertility Woman?!"
"Me?! How is this my fault," Sophie started as her voice got dangerously low and she stood up as she pushed her chair out. "You're the one with the super sperm, buddy. It could probably bust through a steel barrier and go faster than a speeding train!"
"WELL DUH! WHY DO YOU THINK I INSISTED ON CONDOMS?!" Ethan exploded, getting pissed off that she was using her angry voice at him. He pointed. "This! This is why I didn't want you pregnant! It's going to freaking suck! You're always going to be pissed off at me, and we'll never have sex again!"
Sophie moved around the table so she could close the distance between them and reached up like she was about to shove Ethan in the chest, but instead she pulled him into a hard, and passionate kiss, her hand once again heading south. She was getting ridiculous mood swings, and as much as she wanted them to stop, she was just rolling with them for the moment. She really hadn't mean to use her angry voice. She was also still just in complete shock.
Ethan wrestled himself from her hold and shot her an annoyed look. "I'm also not a giant hormonal dildo, either. You just threw up! A lot! That's..." He shook his head and pushed his hand through his hair. It wasn't like he had any idea how he was supposed to deal with this. Taking a day off to stay with his sick wife was one thing, but a bloody baby? He felt his pants, looking for his mobile phone, only to remember it was smashed on the floor. "Damnit. I'll go and get a test or whatever. No wonder I wanted to be able to plan this, because this is just... I don't even know what it is!"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Sophie murmured as she covered her mouth with her hand. "I don't know what's wrong with me... I feel broken. Or at least really, really damaged. I can't even think straight. It's awful." She bit her lip as she dropped her hands down and gave him Wife Puppy Eyes. "Can you bring my back a chocolate sundae and pancakes?"
Ethan looked at her in confusion with a small shake of his head. "Broken and damaged? I thought you wanted this? You got jealous of your sister because she had it and you didn't. I don't get it? Maybe I'm just a stupid thick male, but I really don't get it. Broken and damaged..." Strong words. He wasn't even sure how he was supposed to take that being pregnant with his baby made her feel broken and damaged. He gave a slight laugh. "Please don't make me go to McDonalds."
"No, no. I don't mean like that. I just feel mental. Nothing is going through my head logically. It's all..." She moved her hands like she was creating an insane doodle. "I don't mean it like I'm all... I can't even pick the right words! But I'm just crazy hormonal and I think you need to just ignore me." Sophie wrapped her arms around Ethan in a hug, and buried her face against his chest. "Maybe just bring home chocolate sauce and I can make the pancakes. I'm on a mental rollercoaster, but I can't do this without you. And even though it's an accident... I do want this. I want your baby. You're not stupid and thick. You're amazing, Ethan. You really are."
Ethan hugged her back, but out of her line of sight, he closed his eyes, struggling to stifle a sigh. He wanted to agree with her, he really did, but he was more than confused. He wanted to run to Tom, but even then, he remembered last time he did that when Tom just got weird that Ethan was whining about lack of sex. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He knew he wasn't ready for it. He had never felt ready for it, despite Sophie admitting how much she wanted it. They had talked about it, but that had been a future thing to revisit at another time. This was more than he could process. She could blame hormones, but he had nothing. She was already talking like she was pregnant and they didn't even know for sure. It scared the shit out of him. He pulled away to stoop down and get his phone. "I'll go and get that test," he murmured.
Sophie nodded, and wrapped her arms around herself as she watched Ethan go. The baby really had been future talk and now they were suddenly faced with the possibility that she was pregnant because of one time without a condom. One time she'd taken the pill, but antibiotics for a cut made them defunct. When she heard the car start up, Sophie trudged back to their bedroom and disappeared into their walk-in wardrobe as she tried to locate Ethan's old university sweater. It had always been about three sizes too big for her, but on the rare occasions she was sick, or even when she had her period, she always wanted to wear it even since they'd moved in together. It made her feel safe, and like Ethan was with her even when he was gone. She pulled it on over her slip and moved back to the bed as she curled up into a ball and waited for her husband.
It was probably a good thing Ethan had a driver, because he wasn't focused enough to be able to drive. In fact, by the time he reached Boots the Pharmacy a few blocks from their apartment, he was a bit of a mess. He was still sort of semi ready for work. He was seriously rethinking the choice of putting trainers on when he kicked off his Buzz slippers because they looked atroicious with the suit. He had the forethought to grab a baseball cap and sungless to shove on before leaving, though. He seriously did not want the fact he was shopping for a pregnancy test in Boots splashed all over the tabloids so close to the rumours that Sophie was already pregnant. It was just backlash he didn't want. So, in a Prada work suit, cufflinks, white sports shoes, a baseball cap and sunglasses, he not only felt like a tosser, but looked like one too. Getting to the aisle with all the pregnancy tests too, he just felt plain sick, and he was wondering if he was going out in sympathy for Sophie. There were shitloads of different sorts, but in the end he settled on one that his company made. At least he knew he could trust that.
Getting back home, he still couldn't shake the sick feeling in his gut. He was even tempted to not go straight home, and disappear into the closest pub to get blinded. Alcohol that early in the morning would be horrible, though, and it was the only thing preventing him from doing it. He kicked off the shoes and got rid of the hat and glasses, leaving him with hat hair and then took the chemist bag down the hall to their bedroom. By now his head was pounding too, and he knew he wasn't going to escape this ball of unexpected stress without a migraine. "I guess this'll do," he murmured and held the test out for her. "Seems like a good one. Not exactly sure how so many tests can be so different, but they all were. All blue too. Why blue? I don't get the blue. I'm going to change the blue to, I dunno... bright green."
Sophie uncurled herself as she accepted the test and stared down at the box. Now that she'd been left alone with her muddled thoughts again, she'd started to become terrified. Maybe she was jealous of her sister, but that didn't mean she had any idea if she'd be a good mother. Everyone kept telling her she would be, but what if she wasn't? Sophie felt her bottom lip start to tremble again and she hid her face in the sleeve of Ethan's top. "I think blue's just meant to be comforting, or something," she said, the words muffled against the material. "Maybe you should make them poo brown. Or fluro pink."
Ethan just stood there helplessly and watched her. He didn't know what to do. Usually he could wing it, but this time, he was drawing a blank. Obviously unlike his sperm. "If it's any consolation, I feel like barfing too," he finally mumbled, looking down at his socked feet. Thinking about poo brown pregnancy tests just made him think of baby poo and that really wasn't helping his anxiety levels at all.
Sophie reached out to grab his hand and pressed it against her cheek as she just tried to pull herself together. No matter what she didn't want to lose her husband. Somehow they had to stumble onto the same page because she really couldn't do it without him. "It makes me feel a little better," she replied with a small smile. "Guess I better pee."
Ethan nodded and brushed his fingers against her cheek. He was pretty sure he hadn't been this terrified in his life. In fact, the only thing that probably trumped it was the morning before his wedding and the phone call hearing Liam had been hurt in the worst possible way. But this was right up there and he didn't know how to deal with it. He didn't know if there was time or room in his life for a baby. Not with everything going on and how hard he had worked to get his business to where it was. He always thought that was his baby and he didn't just want to hand it over to any wanker. "Maybe you just slept funny on your boobs?" he asked in a small voice.
"Maybe," Sophie replied before she let go of his hand to tear open the package and get out the small stick she was supposed to pee on. She got up off the bed and brushed her lips against Ethan's cheek before she slipped past him into the ensuite. She hadn't even had enough to drink to make sure she was busting by the time it came to the test. She didn't even know she was going to be taking a test. She had never been so nervous about going to the toilet in her entire life, and she stuck her head back out into the bedroom to look at Ethan. "Can you just... talk. Please? About anything. Or just recite movie quotes. Anything."
Ethan was at a loss, and even though she couldn't see him, he shrugged helplessly. "Um... Tom sent me a text. Apparently Stuart got drunk and decided tattoos were a good idea. Which is, you know, never a good idea..." He cleared his throat and scratched his shoulder awkwardly. He was pretty sure he had never felt this weird. There was standing around waiting for someone to have a pee and then there was this. He tried not to stand there and hope it would be negative, he really did. He just failed miserably in the effort.
Sophie willed herself to relax. She focused on Ethan's voice and tried to pretend like this was any other day and she was just taking a normal pee on a normal day with everything... normal. "Did he say what the tattoos were? I would say I can't imagine Stuart doing that, but he does seem to have the potential in being a deviant when he's drunk. Pretty sure it's the Evans genes."
"One on his butt, that was a joke courtesy of the Irishman. Something about loving an English lawyer and all his arse got was that tattoo. I tried not to laugh. I really did. Tom's pissed about that one, but Stu outdid himself with the second one. Tom's name and their wedding date. Hopefully nothing happens to prevent that actually being their wedding date. Like his and his food poisoning or something." Ethan rubbed his hand over his face so he didn't give into the urge to panic.
"We'll do everything we can to make sure it happens. Even if you have to get your scientists to make a time machine." She sighed in relief as she managed to pee on the stick and flushed before she washed her hands and left the stick on the side of the bathroom counter. She came back out of the ensuite and automatically went to hug her husband. "Would you ever get a tattoo? I don't know if I'd be pissed if you wound up coming home with an arse tattoo, or not. That Euan really needs to find something more constructive to do with his time."
Ethan hugged her back and rested his head on top of hers. He really didn't think they would be doing anything like this anytime soon. It was throwing him off. It was lucky he decided to give work a miss, because he would be useless. "I'm surprised. I thought Thommo would be freaking out more by now, but I think he's saving it all up to hit me with it closer to the time. And no. Fuck that. I don't want that pain and it's... I don't know. Maybe I'm superstitious, like it's a jinx or something. I hear he is just a bastard because he can be."
Sophie tried not to count down the seconds until it would be time to check the test. She realised that waiting for things like this were awful. She felt like she was going to throw up again, but this time it was definitely from the nerves, not the hormones. "Are you ready for him to slam you with it? I know you two haven't been... I know it's been a little strained lately. I'd be lying to say I'm more than a little relieved. I can't imagine your body being marked by ink. Jesse had a couple of tattoos, and I guess they suited him, but not you. I like you not inked. That's a bit prickish of him. It might not hurt if he's nice once in a while."
"Nope," Ethan murmured honestly. "Just like he wasn't ready when I slammed him with it, but I guess we wing it. I dunno. I'm not sure what I can go to him with anymore. I don't want to stress him out or make him uncomfortable with what I'm saying. But the whole marriage thing, I've been there, so hopefully I know what I'm doing. Things have been strained. I can't help it, it hurt when he wasn't there for me when I needed him. Now I feel like I don't know the boundaries. Maybe things are just changing, maybe we're changing." His nose scrunched up a little at the mention of her ex. Really wasn't the time he wanted to think about her exes at all. "He's honest about what he is, he likes pulling the piss, and he'll tell you that you take him as he comes, or fuck off. I admire the guy's resolve. Too many people waste their lives away kissing other peoples arses. He's just honest and straight to the line. Nothing wrong with that."
"There's honest and straight to the line, and then there's tattooing your supposed partner's arse." Sophie looked up at Ethan and moved so she could reach her hand up to his face and ran her fingers over his smooth chin. He'd shaved this morning, that much she could tell. She could still smell the soothing balm he used as well. "Just go to him with anything. You two are like brothers. Surely there's nothing you can't talk about. He was having a bad patch, but he's still Tom. Being with Stuart isn't going to change that, it shouldn't change that. It might just mean a little adjusting time. It's the first time both of you have had steady partners. The family's growing, so now you get a few growing pains. That doesn't mean it can't be like it used to."
Ethan shrugged. "He tattooed everyone who went out but himself, apparently. See? Not isolated to anyone in particular, and he knows he gets a rise out of people. Yeah, see I did once believe I could go to him about anything, but when I do, he gets all weird and distant on me like what I'm going on about was just insignificant bullshit. It wasn't insignificant to me, and I swear, if one more person told me I should just suck it up and sleep with you, I would have belted them. It doesn't have anything to do with partners. He just didn't want to hear it, plain and simple. Then the time just got away and... I don't know. It was weird. I've never felt distant from him before, but who else do I have to talk to? No one. I needed him. I was there for him through all the bullshit with Stuart, no matter what it was, no matter how much of an arsehole I thought they were both being in the situation, I was still there and I never judged. Not that I'm bitching about it. We talked, we sorted it. It's all good."
Sophie tugged lightly on a lock of Ethan's dark hair. "But it's not alright. It's not all good. You just said yourself you can't talk to him about everything, that you feel as if it's insignificant compared to his shit. Ooh, I could smack Tom some days. Someone needs to wake him up from being such a selfish prick. Your shit means something! It's important to you. It's your life. Tom needs to get that."
"It was just me being oversensitive. It's fine. Like I said, we sorted it. Tom's got other things to think about. He's got things back on track finally, and that's how it should be. He's not being a selfish prick," Ethan replied with a sigh and then shrugged again, indicating that he really didn't know what he was supposed to say. "What's the problem, anyway? I'm not just going to go and whine to him for the sake of it. It was stupid to start with anyway."
Sophie frowned. "How was it stupid? We were having problems, and you wanted to talk to your best friend about them. It's what best friends do." She bit her lip as she spared a glance at the clock, her stomach clenching when she realised it was time. "Ethan, I'm scared."
Ethan held his hands up helplessly. "Why? Why are you scared?! You want this! You're going to be upset if it's negative, I know you! I don't understand why you're scared," he admitted. "In fact, I'm not sure we even need that test. It's positive. You know it is. You have so much natural maternal instinct, you already know what it is. You can feel it, and you probably would have felt it sooner if you weren't so tied up with worrying about your little brother."
Tears fell down Sophie's cheek as she wrapped her arms around her stomach. "Same reason you didn't want people to just tell you to suck it up and sleep with me again. What if I don't have all this natural maternal instinct people keep telling me I have? And how am I supposed to be happy about this when you're clearly so scared? I don't want this to change anything between us. Not for the worst. I can't lose you just so that I can have a baby."
"I'm not going anywhere, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for this. I'm not. Of course I'm scared. Do you want me to lie to you and tell you I'm not? We only got married seven months ago! Seven months. That is not even the length of a pregnancy! I don't know what you want me to say about the maternal instincts. I guess you must have just spent your whole life sucking with your brothers and sisters then, but I'm pretty sure they'll disagree with that. Me? I've never had a single thing to do with a baby." Ethan paused and shook his head. "I've never even held one."
"Then we'll get you some practice! We'll borrow Nay's after she's had it, and we can borrow Stuart's niece." Sophie reached out to take Ethan's hands in hers and held them against her chest. "I know you're scared, and it's okay, but it's not like you're doing it alone. We're not doing it alone. I'm really sorry I am Hyper Fertile Woman or whoever it was, but this has happened... Maybe. We still have to check the test. I could just be in an insanely clucky mode and it's all just my imagination." She bit her lip as she held her gaze. "I love you no matter what happens. Okay?"
Ethan sighed. "You keep saying that, but I've not denied that, have I? I'm not just going to walk away. I just feel cheated out of the choice, that's all," he said quietly.
Sophie shook her head. "No, you haven't. And I'm sorry you feel cheated. It was an accident..." She looked down at their hands and shifted her weight. "Are you ready to know for sure?"
Ethan shook his head. "Nope," he murmured honestly. "But then, I wasn't ready to get married either, and I seemed to have somehow pulled that off. God knows how. I think some people must've lost millions on betting whether I would actually do it or not."
"Those people can go fuck themselves because I got the best husband in the world," Sophie replied quietly before she kissed his hands and let them go to move into the ensuite so she could check the test. It had to be like ripping off a band-aid, right? The quicker they knew, the quicker they could just start dealing with it. She looked down at the little stick and everything left her in a rush when she saw the little pink plus sign. For some reason she was glad Ethan hadn't picked up one of those digital tests that had the word 'pregnant' displayed when it was positive because she wasn't sure she could have digested that any easier than a little cross. She covered her face as she started to cry again, overwhelmed by the fact that she was actually pregnant. She finally had the one thing she had wanted all these years. "I'm pregnant."
Ethan was standing in the doorway of the ensuite watching her, watching the test in her hand. He really hadn't been expecting being hit by a wave of feelings he didn't know how to handle. Was he supposed to jump up and down and fake a pregnant test joy or something? He nodded and swallowed. "Okay," he said hoarsely and then rubbed the back of his neck. He dealt with multimillion dollar deals on a daily basis, with some of the biggest bastards in the business world, but it was this that had him wanting to wet himself, crap himself, cry, throw up and pass out all at once. "Okay..." he repeated with another nod, finding it quite interesting how his skin suddenly felt numb and it really was a miracle he wasn't wetting his boxers. "I think I might be having a stroke," he said calmly.
Word Count | 6,833
"SOPHIE!" he called out to his wife in a panic, managing to throw the towel over the spill before it reached his laptop. He felt a pull in his groin, followed by pain. If he just pulled a groin muscle that prevented anything sexual, he was going to be royally pissed off.
Sophie was usually the first one of of bed, and the first one dressed. It meant that she could get coffee and breakfast ready for Ethan while he showered and by the time the two of them were synced, they could have a quick breakfast together before the work day started. This morning though she was struggling to get out of bed, and Ethan had stopped trying to rouse her when she growled at him and then hid under the covers. She felt like crap. As soon as Ethan had gone down stairs, Sophie had left her cave in the bed and locked herself in the bathroom. She wasn't even sure why she was in there, just that lately if she felt like she'd been peeing a lot more than normal, but today there was just an intense nausea that didn't seem to want to leave her alone.
When Ethan yelled for her though, she unlocked the bathroom, and came running down the hallway still looking a mess. Her hair was all over the place from being in bed, and one strap of her slip was hanging off her shoulder and the back of it was flashing her arse because she hadn't bothered to straighten it yet. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" It was all she got out before the nausea came back with a vengeance and she had to quickly get to the kitchen sink to throw up.
Ethan literally jumped in fright when she appeared and then two seconds later was bent over the sink hurling. That wasn't exactly the entry he was expecting, and it really took him by surprise. Sure, she had nearly taken his hand off that morning when he asked if she could help him with breakfast because he usually had a billion things on the go in the mornings anyway, but he gave up even trying and backed away quickly when he got growled at. Probably why he was in such a mutlitasking mess. He went to round the counter, but there was a shoot of pain in his groin and he stopped with a gasped, "Ohfuckouch!" It didn't stop him, though. Somewhat like a grandpa, he managed to reach his wife's side and comb her hair out of her face to hold it back. She really was out of sorts. More than. He wasn't used to seeing her like this. In fact, maybe never, or at least very rarely. "Hey, why didn't you say you were sick, babe? That's my job being a stubborn arse, not yours."
"I don't know," she choked out as she spat into the sink to try and get rid of the taste of vomit. She reached out to turn the tap on, her other hand still gripping the edge of the sink in case there was more throwing up to be done. It didn't exactly feel like she was done. "I wasn't really sure. I just feel... tired. And everything hurts. Even my boobs hurt. Are you okay? What did you do?" Even when she had her head in the sink she was still worried about her husband. She turned the tap off as she let go of the sink to touch him, her hand patting his chest. "I'm sorry about before, sweetheart. I really am."
Ethan reached up and got a glass from the cupboard above his head and turned the tap on so he could fill it for her. "Your boobs hurt? Did I do something to them? We weren't that rough last night, were we? I mean, we were, but not there. Is it the flu? Maybe it's the flu? There are flus going around, you know. All over the place. I know, I've been treating people who have it like lepers. Not that I would ever treat you like that, babe. I just hate being sick. A lot." He was slightly panicky at seeing Sophie like this, and that sense he might not know what to do was kicking it. For everyone else, he seemed to be able to manage, but when it came to her, it was different. "I think I pulled a ball, maybe. But it's okay. I'm fine if I don't move. I think I smashed my phone, and sent a half finished email to my HR Director, but that's okay. Hopefully..." Just for checking purposes, though, he cupped his balls, making sure they were still where they were supposed to be.
Sophie straightened up and just as she was about to relax, another wave of nausea slammed into her and she was back to sticking her head in the sink. She cursed a blue streak after she was done and shook her head to finally answer his question. "No, it wasn't you. I don't know what it is. Maybe it is just the flu, but I was feeling okay last night. I think. I don't really remember. I got distracted by the sex. Which is a good thing. There was a sick kid at work yesterday, so maybe I got something off him. Works pretty bloody quick though." Sophie leaned against her husband as she took the water, her arm slipping around him for support. She really wanted to ask him to stay home with her, but she realised it was probably going to be asking too much. "I need to call my boss. And you need to take it easy. Your ball will get better, you can send another email, and your phone..." she twisted slowly to check over her shoulder. "... looks okay."
Ethan pulled a face and stuck out his tongue. "I hate the fucker. I want my old one back but my PA gave it to some phone recycle scheme at the shop." He went back to watching her in concern. "I'm calling the doctor. Liam. I'll call Liam. He'll come, I'll go get him. I'll send my driver. It's just a short drive from there to here, and he'll be okay. He'll want to help. Just to make sure you're okay, and don't say no, beause I'm not listening. I'm not. This is me not listening." He grabbed the cordless phone that was on the wall nearby, and whimpered with the movement. It wasn't agony, but it wasn't comfortable, either. He went to dial Liam's number, but punched in his 2IC's mobile instead, leaving the guy a message to explain he would be working from home today and to go to all his scheduled meetings for him. "I'm staying here, too," he told her as an afterthought.
Sophie nearly sobbed in relief at hearing that Ethan was staying, and without considering what her actions would really mean, she shoved a hand between them and started to massage his groin and balls to see if it would make it easier for Ethan to move. Not that she wanted him to move. She wanted her giant husband pillow to stay right where he was a she rest her head on his chest and whimpered as the growliness gave way to Sophie feeling sorry for herself. "I was going to ask you to, but I didn't want to. It didn't seem like it was fair. I just really need you right now." She looked up at Ethan as her bottom lip stuck out in a pout. "My boobs still really hurt. I don't think Liam's going to want to deal with that."
"Okay, you don't want to be massaging in that general direction right now..." Ethan warned, cupping her wrist to stop her hand. "Please?" he added pleadingly. He didn't want to get a boner she wouldn't be able to follow through on. It would be torture. Even if she was sick, he was still turned on by her body, especially all this talk about boobs when he wasn't allowed to touch them. "He's going to have to deal with it. Maybe just in passing. He can do the doctor thing with all the other stuff. Unless you want me to get in a stranger? I hate your doctor, by the way. The chick with the weird dress sense. No offense, but I do. She gives me the evil eyeball like I have no right marrying you. Or maybe she just has regular eye twitches."
"But your perfect," Sophie murmured as she took her hand away to pull down her slip when she started to feel the draft around her arse. She made a kissy face at Ethan before she turned away to throw up again in the sink. "Buggering arsehole bollocking fucked up wankers!" She pulled away from her husband to slump against the sink, tears streaming down her cheeks now as she realised she really was sick. She hadn't thrown up in years, and now her streak was coming to a very abrupt end. "Call Liam now!"
Ethan scrunched up his nose again and held his hand up. "Just for the record, I love you, but that was really unsexy," he had to tell her wryly. "Imagine what would have happened if you were giving me a handjob. See why I didn't want to be scarred for life? Hey... heyyyy, why are you crying? No, no! No crying, it's just the flu! Shit. What can I do? What did I do? I didn't really mean the unsexy thing. You're not unsexy!" He fumbled with the phone. "Shit, I don't remember his number."
"He's on speed dial! It's number three," Sophie choked out between the tears. "I know you meant the unsexy thing, but that's not why I'm crying. I don't know why I'm crying. I just really hate throwing up. It feels awful. I never know when it's going to stop, and why do my fucking boobs ache?!" Sophie reached for her slip and held it away from her breasts to try and stop the fabric from rubbing against them. She was still sobbing and stood there feeling even more like an unsexy soggy mess as she just looked at her husband helplessly.
Ethan held the phone up in surrender and covered his eyes with his other hand. "Stop, please! I know you aren't playing with your own boobs, but it looks like you are and my dick thinks you are, and it's not fair because there is no sexy times going to be had and I just... just... call Liam. Yes. I can do that." He hit three on the speed dial and put the phone to his ear. "Wait, just out of curiosity, who is on one and two?" Pointless question, but he couldn't say he was much of a smooth thinker when he was worried and horny all at once.
Sophie dropped her hands away from her chest, and gripped at the sink again as she tried to find a comfortable way to stand, but her back was aching and her feet just didn't want to cooperate. She rinsed out the sink again, and then took a sip of the water Ethan had given her earlier. The tears weren't stopping though, and Sophie regretted coming out of her bed cave. "Tom and my parents." She shuffled over to the kitchen table so she could sit down, and lay her cheek against the cool wooden surface. "I feel like shit," she mumbled.
"I know... I know, babe. I'm calling now. Is that sanitary?" Ethan found himself ask and then waved his hand. "Shush. Don't listen to me. This is me calling! Right now- Liam! Hey, dude. It's Ethan..." he started carrying on a conversation with his youngest brother-in-law that first involved Ethan basically telling Liam to come over, followed by Liam telling him to go fuck himself. This got Ethan's hackles up, but when he heard Liam's quiet voice down the end of the phone saying he just didn't want to go out anywhere, but to tell him Sophie's symptoms. Ethan blinked and glanced at Sophie. "Um... okay... she's throwing up, and she looks pale. She said she hurts all over and her boobs hurt the most. She's crying, too, because she hates throwing up. I hate it too, but who doesn't hate it? What can I give her for the flu?" He waited for Liam's answer, and for a moment he just stood there waiting for something else before he gave a sharp, high-pitched laugh and dropped the phone onto the counter, accidentally hanging up. He laughed again, but then snapped his mouth shut, his eyes widening probably as far as they would go and he just stared at Sophie in frozen shock.
Sophie heard the laugh and moved her head enough to look at her husband. She couldn't understand why he was looking so shocked if all she had was the flu. "What did he say? Why are you looking like that? I'm not playing with my boobs, or touching your dick!"
Ethan broke out into a strange sweat and started to laugh again, though this time it was breathless when it felt a little hard to breathe. He grabbed at his tie to loosen it. "No flu..." he said, panting and moving on from the tie to undo the buttons on his shirt. "My god, it's hot in here. It's hot, isn't it? Not pregnant. Flu. I mean. Not... pregnant. Pregnant." He repeated again, trying to figure out exactly how that word felt in his mouth.
"Preg... what?" Sophie struggled up into a sitting position and watched her husband as the word 'pregnant' rolled around in her mind. She was pregnant. But she couldn't be pregnant. She'd only just had her period-- "Oh my god. Oh my god! Fuck. No! It's flu. It has to be flu... doesn't it?"
"I don't know!" Ethan cried, his voice a lot higher than it normally was. "He's your brother! He said it! Not me! I didn't make you pregnant! I mean, I didn't make him say you were pregnant! You're not pregnant! We don't do pregnant yet and we did birth control! Which means controlling births and pregnant leads to births, and we controlled that! We did! I saw you do it!"
Sophie pressed her fingers against her lips when she wasn't sure if her reaction was going to be to laugh, cry, or throw up. "We need a test," she finally whispered. Her other hand went to her stomach, and she held it there as she tried, through some form of osmosis, to work out if she was pregnant. Now that Liam had said it, and Ethan was panicking about it, it did seem possible. Everything fit. She had skipped her last period, her breasts were sensitive... she was tired, she was experiencing morning sickness. "I'm... I'm pregnant."
Ethan shook his head. "No... no, let's not jump to conclusions," he said, holding his hand up like he was surrendering a war. In fact, if he had a white flag at that point, he would probably be waving it just by default. "All he said was there were no sore boobs with the flu and that it sounded like you were pregnant. See? Sounded like. You know, like log sounds like dog, but a dog isn't a log, right? Because if a dog was a log, then there would have to have been sex without a condom and there--" He stopped and blinked. "Ohh-h shit. The day after Liam got hurt. But there was the pill. You had the pill, and it was one time! And there was... no. There was antibiotics, for that cut on your hand, and that pink stick on the box about contraception, which is why there was condoms and then there was no condom just once. Once! What are you, Bionic Fertility Woman?!"
"Me?! How is this my fault," Sophie started as her voice got dangerously low and she stood up as she pushed her chair out. "You're the one with the super sperm, buddy. It could probably bust through a steel barrier and go faster than a speeding train!"
"WELL DUH! WHY DO YOU THINK I INSISTED ON CONDOMS?!" Ethan exploded, getting pissed off that she was using her angry voice at him. He pointed. "This! This is why I didn't want you pregnant! It's going to freaking suck! You're always going to be pissed off at me, and we'll never have sex again!"
Sophie moved around the table so she could close the distance between them and reached up like she was about to shove Ethan in the chest, but instead she pulled him into a hard, and passionate kiss, her hand once again heading south. She was getting ridiculous mood swings, and as much as she wanted them to stop, she was just rolling with them for the moment. She really hadn't mean to use her angry voice. She was also still just in complete shock.
Ethan wrestled himself from her hold and shot her an annoyed look. "I'm also not a giant hormonal dildo, either. You just threw up! A lot! That's..." He shook his head and pushed his hand through his hair. It wasn't like he had any idea how he was supposed to deal with this. Taking a day off to stay with his sick wife was one thing, but a bloody baby? He felt his pants, looking for his mobile phone, only to remember it was smashed on the floor. "Damnit. I'll go and get a test or whatever. No wonder I wanted to be able to plan this, because this is just... I don't even know what it is!"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Sophie murmured as she covered her mouth with her hand. "I don't know what's wrong with me... I feel broken. Or at least really, really damaged. I can't even think straight. It's awful." She bit her lip as she dropped her hands down and gave him Wife Puppy Eyes. "Can you bring my back a chocolate sundae and pancakes?"
Ethan looked at her in confusion with a small shake of his head. "Broken and damaged? I thought you wanted this? You got jealous of your sister because she had it and you didn't. I don't get it? Maybe I'm just a stupid thick male, but I really don't get it. Broken and damaged..." Strong words. He wasn't even sure how he was supposed to take that being pregnant with his baby made her feel broken and damaged. He gave a slight laugh. "Please don't make me go to McDonalds."
"No, no. I don't mean like that. I just feel mental. Nothing is going through my head logically. It's all..." She moved her hands like she was creating an insane doodle. "I don't mean it like I'm all... I can't even pick the right words! But I'm just crazy hormonal and I think you need to just ignore me." Sophie wrapped her arms around Ethan in a hug, and buried her face against his chest. "Maybe just bring home chocolate sauce and I can make the pancakes. I'm on a mental rollercoaster, but I can't do this without you. And even though it's an accident... I do want this. I want your baby. You're not stupid and thick. You're amazing, Ethan. You really are."
Ethan hugged her back, but out of her line of sight, he closed his eyes, struggling to stifle a sigh. He wanted to agree with her, he really did, but he was more than confused. He wanted to run to Tom, but even then, he remembered last time he did that when Tom just got weird that Ethan was whining about lack of sex. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He knew he wasn't ready for it. He had never felt ready for it, despite Sophie admitting how much she wanted it. They had talked about it, but that had been a future thing to revisit at another time. This was more than he could process. She could blame hormones, but he had nothing. She was already talking like she was pregnant and they didn't even know for sure. It scared the shit out of him. He pulled away to stoop down and get his phone. "I'll go and get that test," he murmured.
Sophie nodded, and wrapped her arms around herself as she watched Ethan go. The baby really had been future talk and now they were suddenly faced with the possibility that she was pregnant because of one time without a condom. One time she'd taken the pill, but antibiotics for a cut made them defunct. When she heard the car start up, Sophie trudged back to their bedroom and disappeared into their walk-in wardrobe as she tried to locate Ethan's old university sweater. It had always been about three sizes too big for her, but on the rare occasions she was sick, or even when she had her period, she always wanted to wear it even since they'd moved in together. It made her feel safe, and like Ethan was with her even when he was gone. She pulled it on over her slip and moved back to the bed as she curled up into a ball and waited for her husband.
It was probably a good thing Ethan had a driver, because he wasn't focused enough to be able to drive. In fact, by the time he reached Boots the Pharmacy a few blocks from their apartment, he was a bit of a mess. He was still sort of semi ready for work. He was seriously rethinking the choice of putting trainers on when he kicked off his Buzz slippers because they looked atroicious with the suit. He had the forethought to grab a baseball cap and sungless to shove on before leaving, though. He seriously did not want the fact he was shopping for a pregnancy test in Boots splashed all over the tabloids so close to the rumours that Sophie was already pregnant. It was just backlash he didn't want. So, in a Prada work suit, cufflinks, white sports shoes, a baseball cap and sunglasses, he not only felt like a tosser, but looked like one too. Getting to the aisle with all the pregnancy tests too, he just felt plain sick, and he was wondering if he was going out in sympathy for Sophie. There were shitloads of different sorts, but in the end he settled on one that his company made. At least he knew he could trust that.
Getting back home, he still couldn't shake the sick feeling in his gut. He was even tempted to not go straight home, and disappear into the closest pub to get blinded. Alcohol that early in the morning would be horrible, though, and it was the only thing preventing him from doing it. He kicked off the shoes and got rid of the hat and glasses, leaving him with hat hair and then took the chemist bag down the hall to their bedroom. By now his head was pounding too, and he knew he wasn't going to escape this ball of unexpected stress without a migraine. "I guess this'll do," he murmured and held the test out for her. "Seems like a good one. Not exactly sure how so many tests can be so different, but they all were. All blue too. Why blue? I don't get the blue. I'm going to change the blue to, I dunno... bright green."
Sophie uncurled herself as she accepted the test and stared down at the box. Now that she'd been left alone with her muddled thoughts again, she'd started to become terrified. Maybe she was jealous of her sister, but that didn't mean she had any idea if she'd be a good mother. Everyone kept telling her she would be, but what if she wasn't? Sophie felt her bottom lip start to tremble again and she hid her face in the sleeve of Ethan's top. "I think blue's just meant to be comforting, or something," she said, the words muffled against the material. "Maybe you should make them poo brown. Or fluro pink."
Ethan just stood there helplessly and watched her. He didn't know what to do. Usually he could wing it, but this time, he was drawing a blank. Obviously unlike his sperm. "If it's any consolation, I feel like barfing too," he finally mumbled, looking down at his socked feet. Thinking about poo brown pregnancy tests just made him think of baby poo and that really wasn't helping his anxiety levels at all.
Sophie reached out to grab his hand and pressed it against her cheek as she just tried to pull herself together. No matter what she didn't want to lose her husband. Somehow they had to stumble onto the same page because she really couldn't do it without him. "It makes me feel a little better," she replied with a small smile. "Guess I better pee."
Ethan nodded and brushed his fingers against her cheek. He was pretty sure he hadn't been this terrified in his life. In fact, the only thing that probably trumped it was the morning before his wedding and the phone call hearing Liam had been hurt in the worst possible way. But this was right up there and he didn't know how to deal with it. He didn't know if there was time or room in his life for a baby. Not with everything going on and how hard he had worked to get his business to where it was. He always thought that was his baby and he didn't just want to hand it over to any wanker. "Maybe you just slept funny on your boobs?" he asked in a small voice.
"Maybe," Sophie replied before she let go of his hand to tear open the package and get out the small stick she was supposed to pee on. She got up off the bed and brushed her lips against Ethan's cheek before she slipped past him into the ensuite. She hadn't even had enough to drink to make sure she was busting by the time it came to the test. She didn't even know she was going to be taking a test. She had never been so nervous about going to the toilet in her entire life, and she stuck her head back out into the bedroom to look at Ethan. "Can you just... talk. Please? About anything. Or just recite movie quotes. Anything."
Ethan was at a loss, and even though she couldn't see him, he shrugged helplessly. "Um... Tom sent me a text. Apparently Stuart got drunk and decided tattoos were a good idea. Which is, you know, never a good idea..." He cleared his throat and scratched his shoulder awkwardly. He was pretty sure he had never felt this weird. There was standing around waiting for someone to have a pee and then there was this. He tried not to stand there and hope it would be negative, he really did. He just failed miserably in the effort.
Sophie willed herself to relax. She focused on Ethan's voice and tried to pretend like this was any other day and she was just taking a normal pee on a normal day with everything... normal. "Did he say what the tattoos were? I would say I can't imagine Stuart doing that, but he does seem to have the potential in being a deviant when he's drunk. Pretty sure it's the Evans genes."
"One on his butt, that was a joke courtesy of the Irishman. Something about loving an English lawyer and all his arse got was that tattoo. I tried not to laugh. I really did. Tom's pissed about that one, but Stu outdid himself with the second one. Tom's name and their wedding date. Hopefully nothing happens to prevent that actually being their wedding date. Like his and his food poisoning or something." Ethan rubbed his hand over his face so he didn't give into the urge to panic.
"We'll do everything we can to make sure it happens. Even if you have to get your scientists to make a time machine." She sighed in relief as she managed to pee on the stick and flushed before she washed her hands and left the stick on the side of the bathroom counter. She came back out of the ensuite and automatically went to hug her husband. "Would you ever get a tattoo? I don't know if I'd be pissed if you wound up coming home with an arse tattoo, or not. That Euan really needs to find something more constructive to do with his time."
Ethan hugged her back and rested his head on top of hers. He really didn't think they would be doing anything like this anytime soon. It was throwing him off. It was lucky he decided to give work a miss, because he would be useless. "I'm surprised. I thought Thommo would be freaking out more by now, but I think he's saving it all up to hit me with it closer to the time. And no. Fuck that. I don't want that pain and it's... I don't know. Maybe I'm superstitious, like it's a jinx or something. I hear he is just a bastard because he can be."
Sophie tried not to count down the seconds until it would be time to check the test. She realised that waiting for things like this were awful. She felt like she was going to throw up again, but this time it was definitely from the nerves, not the hormones. "Are you ready for him to slam you with it? I know you two haven't been... I know it's been a little strained lately. I'd be lying to say I'm more than a little relieved. I can't imagine your body being marked by ink. Jesse had a couple of tattoos, and I guess they suited him, but not you. I like you not inked. That's a bit prickish of him. It might not hurt if he's nice once in a while."
"Nope," Ethan murmured honestly. "Just like he wasn't ready when I slammed him with it, but I guess we wing it. I dunno. I'm not sure what I can go to him with anymore. I don't want to stress him out or make him uncomfortable with what I'm saying. But the whole marriage thing, I've been there, so hopefully I know what I'm doing. Things have been strained. I can't help it, it hurt when he wasn't there for me when I needed him. Now I feel like I don't know the boundaries. Maybe things are just changing, maybe we're changing." His nose scrunched up a little at the mention of her ex. Really wasn't the time he wanted to think about her exes at all. "He's honest about what he is, he likes pulling the piss, and he'll tell you that you take him as he comes, or fuck off. I admire the guy's resolve. Too many people waste their lives away kissing other peoples arses. He's just honest and straight to the line. Nothing wrong with that."
"There's honest and straight to the line, and then there's tattooing your supposed partner's arse." Sophie looked up at Ethan and moved so she could reach her hand up to his face and ran her fingers over his smooth chin. He'd shaved this morning, that much she could tell. She could still smell the soothing balm he used as well. "Just go to him with anything. You two are like brothers. Surely there's nothing you can't talk about. He was having a bad patch, but he's still Tom. Being with Stuart isn't going to change that, it shouldn't change that. It might just mean a little adjusting time. It's the first time both of you have had steady partners. The family's growing, so now you get a few growing pains. That doesn't mean it can't be like it used to."
Ethan shrugged. "He tattooed everyone who went out but himself, apparently. See? Not isolated to anyone in particular, and he knows he gets a rise out of people. Yeah, see I did once believe I could go to him about anything, but when I do, he gets all weird and distant on me like what I'm going on about was just insignificant bullshit. It wasn't insignificant to me, and I swear, if one more person told me I should just suck it up and sleep with you, I would have belted them. It doesn't have anything to do with partners. He just didn't want to hear it, plain and simple. Then the time just got away and... I don't know. It was weird. I've never felt distant from him before, but who else do I have to talk to? No one. I needed him. I was there for him through all the bullshit with Stuart, no matter what it was, no matter how much of an arsehole I thought they were both being in the situation, I was still there and I never judged. Not that I'm bitching about it. We talked, we sorted it. It's all good."
Sophie tugged lightly on a lock of Ethan's dark hair. "But it's not alright. It's not all good. You just said yourself you can't talk to him about everything, that you feel as if it's insignificant compared to his shit. Ooh, I could smack Tom some days. Someone needs to wake him up from being such a selfish prick. Your shit means something! It's important to you. It's your life. Tom needs to get that."
"It was just me being oversensitive. It's fine. Like I said, we sorted it. Tom's got other things to think about. He's got things back on track finally, and that's how it should be. He's not being a selfish prick," Ethan replied with a sigh and then shrugged again, indicating that he really didn't know what he was supposed to say. "What's the problem, anyway? I'm not just going to go and whine to him for the sake of it. It was stupid to start with anyway."
Sophie frowned. "How was it stupid? We were having problems, and you wanted to talk to your best friend about them. It's what best friends do." She bit her lip as she spared a glance at the clock, her stomach clenching when she realised it was time. "Ethan, I'm scared."
Ethan held his hands up helplessly. "Why? Why are you scared?! You want this! You're going to be upset if it's negative, I know you! I don't understand why you're scared," he admitted. "In fact, I'm not sure we even need that test. It's positive. You know it is. You have so much natural maternal instinct, you already know what it is. You can feel it, and you probably would have felt it sooner if you weren't so tied up with worrying about your little brother."
Tears fell down Sophie's cheek as she wrapped her arms around her stomach. "Same reason you didn't want people to just tell you to suck it up and sleep with me again. What if I don't have all this natural maternal instinct people keep telling me I have? And how am I supposed to be happy about this when you're clearly so scared? I don't want this to change anything between us. Not for the worst. I can't lose you just so that I can have a baby."
"I'm not going anywhere, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for this. I'm not. Of course I'm scared. Do you want me to lie to you and tell you I'm not? We only got married seven months ago! Seven months. That is not even the length of a pregnancy! I don't know what you want me to say about the maternal instincts. I guess you must have just spent your whole life sucking with your brothers and sisters then, but I'm pretty sure they'll disagree with that. Me? I've never had a single thing to do with a baby." Ethan paused and shook his head. "I've never even held one."
"Then we'll get you some practice! We'll borrow Nay's after she's had it, and we can borrow Stuart's niece." Sophie reached out to take Ethan's hands in hers and held them against her chest. "I know you're scared, and it's okay, but it's not like you're doing it alone. We're not doing it alone. I'm really sorry I am Hyper Fertile Woman or whoever it was, but this has happened... Maybe. We still have to check the test. I could just be in an insanely clucky mode and it's all just my imagination." She bit her lip as she held her gaze. "I love you no matter what happens. Okay?"
Ethan sighed. "You keep saying that, but I've not denied that, have I? I'm not just going to walk away. I just feel cheated out of the choice, that's all," he said quietly.
Sophie shook her head. "No, you haven't. And I'm sorry you feel cheated. It was an accident..." She looked down at their hands and shifted her weight. "Are you ready to know for sure?"
Ethan shook his head. "Nope," he murmured honestly. "But then, I wasn't ready to get married either, and I seemed to have somehow pulled that off. God knows how. I think some people must've lost millions on betting whether I would actually do it or not."
"Those people can go fuck themselves because I got the best husband in the world," Sophie replied quietly before she kissed his hands and let them go to move into the ensuite so she could check the test. It had to be like ripping off a band-aid, right? The quicker they knew, the quicker they could just start dealing with it. She looked down at the little stick and everything left her in a rush when she saw the little pink plus sign. For some reason she was glad Ethan hadn't picked up one of those digital tests that had the word 'pregnant' displayed when it was positive because she wasn't sure she could have digested that any easier than a little cross. She covered her face as she started to cry again, overwhelmed by the fact that she was actually pregnant. She finally had the one thing she had wanted all these years. "I'm pregnant."
Ethan was standing in the doorway of the ensuite watching her, watching the test in her hand. He really hadn't been expecting being hit by a wave of feelings he didn't know how to handle. Was he supposed to jump up and down and fake a pregnant test joy or something? He nodded and swallowed. "Okay," he said hoarsely and then rubbed the back of his neck. He dealt with multimillion dollar deals on a daily basis, with some of the biggest bastards in the business world, but it was this that had him wanting to wet himself, crap himself, cry, throw up and pass out all at once. "Okay..." he repeated with another nod, finding it quite interesting how his skin suddenly felt numb and it really was a miracle he wasn't wetting his boxers. "I think I might be having a stroke," he said calmly.
Word Count | 6,833