RP LOG with cantbuy_me | Compromise
The trip to New York had been interesting to say the least. Sophie couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so awkward around her husband, but in true Williamson form they'd gone to the benefit and put on a show for the investors. She'd been the perfect wife, all the while wondering when Ethan was going to stop denying her, but maybe he'd just been too proud to relent. They'd managed to loosen up just a little with Ryan's parents on board the jet on the way back to England but things were still tense when they crossed the threshold of their own home.
Another day passed and Sophie was wondering what the hell she was going to do to make Ethan just stop ignoring her. She sat in their bedroom not really reading a book while Neil and Renee slept in their respective bedrooms and Ethan was in his study. She tossed the book onto the bed and picked up her silk robe before padding quietly through apartment to find her husband. She nudged open the door to his study before she slipped inside the room and circled his desk to sit in his lap. Important emails or not, Sophie was breaking out of the doghouse with a kiss to his lips.
It had nothing to do with pride. Not anymore. No matter who told him he was being stupid or looked at him with stupid looks about denying his wife, Ethan was holding firm on this point. Sophie telling him how he was supposed to have sex with her had pissed him off extensively. He also felt like it had come as a low blow considering he had been nothing but accommodating and flexible with her family. And it was a huge family, so that was a lot of accommodating and flexibility. He never asked much of her, he never expected anything of her. He never made her do anything she didn't want to. He just felt that their sex life had nothing to do with anyone else, and if her siblings couldn't handle it, they were welcome to go and stay somewhere else. He merely looked up at her, eyebrow raised but made no move to reciprocate the embrace. "I'm not having sex with you," he told her calmly. "You know my feelings on the subject."
"I'm not asking you to have sex, I just happen to miss my husband. I want to spend some time with him that doesn't involve sitting at opposite ends of a sofa, or sleeping away from each other." She let out a soft sigh as she started to comb her fingers through his hair and looked over Ethan's face. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'll crawl on my hands and needs if I have to. I'll do anything to make it up to you. I know I fucked up, and I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what? The fact it's okay for you to cut me off, but when I do it, I'm the world's most gigantic wanker who is on the receiving end of this look," Ethan paused and pulled a what the fuck face at her, "more often than I'm not? Your family are still here and I'm not suddenly going to change the way I have sex because of it. You don't think when we were dating, I did that enough? When we stayed at your parents', or wherever else when we were going out? I don't get it. I don't! Your sister is out there knocked up by a bloke none of you met, your youngest brother has more sex than probably the rest of your family put together, and you don't want to contaminate their delicate constutions because they're staying with us? Seriously?!"
Sophie shook her head. "I was being stupid, okay? I've gone mental with all the dramas lately. I just wasn't thinking. I won't give you any of those looks, and no one else has to. I can't thank you enough for putting up with all my family baggage, but you really don't need to change how you have sex. How we have sex. I was just being unreasonable and I know that now. I really do. You're the best husband I could have ever asked for. There are days I feel like I'll never be able to show how much I am in love with you for being this amazing."
Ethan looked up at her and then soon sighed with a slight shake of his head. "So, I thought I might go out and buy a Ferrari. Because evidently this is the start of a pre-mid life crisis, which is supposed to be the time your wife tells you that your sexual skills suck. Or something. Then I can spend all my time driving around in that when we would usually be having sex, and then no one can suffer the terrifying effect of realising a couple who have only been married half a year actually do something as shocking as have sex together. And now I'm just being prickish, because I'm annoyed. I got it when Liam was sick and the fact everyone just believed he had been fucking around on someone else's guy. I wasn't going to rub his nose it in then, and you were worried about his health. All cool, I understood. I had Tom who was going through bollocks too. But it's not just sex, alright? Sometimes, even just for fifteen minutes or so now and again, I like feeling like it's just you and me, and no one else. I happen to need that sometimes when I spend a good portion of my life with people watching at me and looking at me and taking note of everything I do. Maybe sex with my wife is something I have that I know no one else does. That's all."
"I'm not trying to take that away from you. I'm not, Ethan, please..." Sophie took his face in her hands and made him hold her gaze. "You're not having a pre-mid life crisis. And your wife isn't telling your your sexual skills suck. Far from it. You don't need to drive a car. I'm here, and I take back all my stupid bullshit. I was mental, I really was. Just ignore everything I said. I was the one having the pre-mid life crisis. It wasn't you. It was all me." She kissed his lips lightly before she rest her forehead against her husband's. "You can have me any time you want, you need to know that. I'll always be here for you. Always. I'm yours and yours alone. I'm not anyone else's wife."
"I never thought your family would come between us," Ethan told her with a small shrug. "I guess it's inevitable sometimes. That's kinda of hard to swallow, too. Please don't go overboard with the apologies, either. I'm still pissed off. I don't need placating. I just want to know why you said it, that's all. Dramas or not, why did you make with the sex commanding?"
Sophie pulled away and dropped into the seat opposite his on the other side of the desk. "I was just trying to be considerate, but Neil set me straight. I just thought being quiet was the way to go, I didn't mean to make it sound commanding. I didn't mean to make you think you couldn't just be yourself. We haven't had family stay with us since we got married. I don't know what the etiquette is if any."
Ethan looked over the desk at her and sunk down in his chair as he started to rub his eyes slowly with his fingers. Things still felt all discontent for some reason, and he hated it. It was like he was just waiting for something else to go wrong. Hell, Tom didn't even want to listen to him whine about things with Sophie. He had just stewed on it all instead. "It felt like that was just indications of other things. I don't know what. I haven't really talked to anyone about it. It was like, first you're telling me to shut up during sex, so what next? And just for the record, I don't actually think we're that loud. Isn't it just normal to get into it? If not, I must've been doing it wrong my whole life."
"Of course it's normal, I think maybe I was just trying to overcompensate because everything just feels so out of control lately. Nay's pregnant, Neil's back, Liam's sick, Jess and Liam aren't talking... I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm supposed to do anything. They're all adults now." Sophie tucked her arms around herself. "Maybe I just need to stop trying to protect them... I can be a sister, and a wife. And an aunty. I'm not the mother, right? We've got Mum for that." She looked at Ethan, her bottom lip trembling just a little bit. "I'm sorry, Ethan."
Ethan got up and rounded the desk and sat in the chair beside her. He was quiet as he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Do you want to be a mother? Is that a small part of it. You don't need to get defensive and assure me that's not what you're thinking. We should talk about this sort of thing, right? Did you maybe think you would be the first to have a baby in your family?"
Sophie turned her head to look at him as she slowly nodded. "Maybe just a little bit... It makes me feel horrible. It's not like Nay can't be the first one pregnant. She's gorgeous and all glowy even if she's scared. I just can't believe she never said anything. I'd be screaming it from the rooftops if I got pregnant, but then I guess it'd be your baby and made out of love. Not something that would be a mistake. It wouldn't be a mistake, right? If we had a kid we'd love them... But I know we're not ready for it, and that really is okay."
"Maybe we are, on some levels," Ethan mused with a small shrug. "It's not like I don't ever think about it. You get married, kids are a natural next thought. The thing is, I'm selfish, and I was raised traditionally. I'd want at least one parent home with my kids, at least until school age. I had my mum there when I was growing up, and I still remember that, even today. I know she's always there for me when I need her. Same as Dad, he was just more with the life's manly lessons and all that," he said with a laugh. "But that was thirty years ago. I'm just not going to tell you to give up your work for that. I also got the sense with Renee that she got herself into a corner. She made a mistake, but her own morals just didn't let her get a termination. She didn't really have much choice at the end of the day, and she buried her head in the sand about it. Human nature. It was a mistake she knew none of her family could fix for her, either. Which had to be hard."
Sophie brushed her fingers up and down Ethan's arm as she leaned against him in the embrace. "I would, you know. I'd stay home. I never mentioned it before because you never asked. My Mum did the same thing for all of us. Even when it came to Liam and there were plenty of us that could have covered for her. She still wanted make sure all of us knew her, were close to her. I want to be that for my babies. Or baby. I'm not going to say we should have a big family just because I had one. Truth is I still don't know how Mum and Dad coped with all eight of us, but they made it look easy. I just want to help Renee. I think she's considering living with Declan, and Neil will find his own space. Maybe even live with Zac, so we'll get our own space soon. I just wish Nay didn't have to go through it all alone. She could have had us around her."
Ethan shook his head with a small smile. "I wouldn't have asked. I might have been brought up traditionally and with old English values, but I'm not one of those who thinks my wife is my property, just there to breed me an heir. I don't deny that I would love a son to carry on my name. Mum couldn't have anymore kids after me, but she always wished for one of each, but it wasn't meant to be. I know she'd love for me to have a little girl, too. It's not absolutely vital to have a boy. Whatever we have will still inherit my family's wealth. Just to be completely honest with you, though, I'm not sure I would want a load of kids. I'm more used to being around small families, I think I would suck as a dad to a shitload. Some people just have that mojo, but I don't think I do. Not really sure I have the father mojo much at all... You should talk to her. Or you all should. Call a family meeting, I don't know. She's running out of time. She could have that kid at any minute."
Sophie kissed his brow before going back to resting her head against his. "I wouldn't ask you to have a big family. I just wouldn't. I think with you a small family would be just perfect. If I can give you one of each then I'd be happy. But it's nice to know it'll be okay if I just give you a girl. Your mum should get to experience grandkids. She'd rock as a grandma. Both of our mums would. I think you underestimate your mojo, but we won't rush into it. I'm not asking you to start a family right now. I'm just selfish enough to wish I'd been first. I feel so stupid." Sophie looked at Ethan. "That's a good idea. Thank you."
Ethan gave a small yawn and nodded. "My parents would love grandkids. I think they started hoping for that when I was still in nappies. The family bond and love is still there, even in small families. Tom's parents are the same, but I think they just resolved themselves to the fact they would never have it. At least, until Stuart. Now they're in for a shock," he said with a smirk. "I'm just worried how kids would fit into my life. Some days, I come home so exhausted, I can't even think straight. Other days I can be locked in conferences for hours on end and not even have time to make personal phone calls. There's trips overseas, functions, meetings. I just don't know. In saying that, a lot of my colleagues and associates have families. They seem to pull it off."
"We don't have to do it right away, but maybe it might be nice to just start thinking about it a little. I know we haven't been married long, and it's scary no matter when you start having kids. We'll be in it together, though. They'll still know you. You're a busy man, and that's okay. You're not doing all these things to get away from your family. You're not one of those men." She slid her fingers between his. "Come to bed, sweetheart. No sex, just cuddles and sleeping together. I miss you wrapped around me. If a family's meant to be, it'll happen. We'll find a way. Do you think Tom's parents will be happy?"
Ethan figured he would probably talk to Tom about the whole issue. Or try. Tom really hadn't been all that receptive when Ethan was upset about the fight with Sophie. He really hoped that with all the changes, they weren't growing apart. In fact, just the thought of that felt like someone was kicking him in the gut. Tom was the closest thing to a brother Ethan ever had, and the only one he confided in for a very long time. "Well, hopefully those who don't have the natural parent mojo manage to learn it okay somehow. Maybe they have classes," he joked, stretching his tired muscles out a little with a nod at her suggestion. They had been back two days from New York, but he was still a little jetlagged. It always took it's toll on him.
Sophie kissed him softly and stood up to tug Ethan with her so they could slip off to bed. Her fingers twined with his and she tucked herself up against his side as they walked. "Classes with little cheat sheets for when we're going mental trying to figure out the answers. You okay, sweetheart? Is there more on your mind than... our fight?"
Ethan sniggered a little. "You say that like you're even going to need cheat sheets. You've had babies and kids around you forever." He shrugged a little and flicked off the lights in the living area as they passed. "I'm a bit worried Tom and me are growing apart. We hardly talk anymore. I tried talking to him about our stuff and he seemed awkward with it, like I was just being stupid about it. I didn't even want to try and talk to him about what I was really feeling then, so I just... didn't. Then I haven't seen much of him. I don't know, something just feels off."
Sophie grinned. "It's got to be different when it's your own kids. I'll be scared to break them. Plus they'll be a Williamson heir. That's a lot of responsibility." She rubbed her free hand against Ethan's arm. "I'm sorry, love. I can't imagine you and Tom growing apart. You've always been you and Tom. Maybe you should go and see him? Or invite him and Stuart over. We can have a dinner together. I'll cook."
Ethan smirked faintly. "Not until they're at least eighteen. Until then, they're just normal kids. Even after that, they're just normal kids with massive trust funds. Just like I was." He shrugged again and shook his head. "Dinner, whatever. Not like I'm exactly going to have a chance to talk to him with other people at the dinner, so it's not going to solve anything, but whatever you think. I've tried to go see him three times this week. He either wasn't home or ignoring the doorbell."
Sophie looked up at him. "So should I be warned now about anything these normal kids with massive trust funds might get up to?" She let out a sigh. "Oh, right... Well, that's not going to work. Forget the dinner. Want me to go over there and do a bit of wife lecturing? I'm sure he has his reasons, I just don't get them. Maybe he's just hiding in bed with Stuart. Isn't he taking time off to get better? What else has changed?"
"Don't know," Ethan murmured when they reached the bedroom and he started to untie his bathrobe. "Maybe he just thinks my no sex issues were bullshit in comparison to his. I don't know, I really don't. I never got that feeling off Tom before, but he didn't really want to hear it, even if he was answering me initially. I was just getting a feel. I'm just kinda pissed off. I stuck by him through everything, but the minute things screw up a bit for me, he's unavailable... or bored. I don't know. Maybe I was whining about it too much, but I figured that's what a best friend was for." He went into the adjoining bathroom to use the toilet. "And you know what? It'd be nice to just get a call to ask how I am."
Sophie slipped back out of her silk robe and hung it off the bed post before she crawled between the sheets again and got comfortable as she waited for Ethan. A frown creased her brow as she thought about Tom, and she just couldn't put it together. She'd never known the two best friends not to talk to each other. They'd been close since she first met Tom, and then Ethan and the two almost came as a package. "Maybe you just need to let him stew for a bit. See how he likes it. I just don't get it, though."
Ethan paused for a moment in front of the mirror, toothpaste poised over the toothbrush. He looked at his reflection, seeing him scrunch his nose up reflexively. "Yeah, I guess. What's a bit, though? He hasn't called, he's not going to. Simple. He's got his own shit going on and he doesn't want to hear about my sex life, even though I have sat and listened about his monotonously since he met Stuart." He shook his head and squirted the toothpaste onto the brush. "I dunno. I don't care. He can stick it up his arse. I don't need to talk to him if he doesn't want to listen anyway."
Sophie sat up in the bed and opened the drawer next to her to pull out her mobile. While Ethan brushed his teeth she sent Tom a text to say he better pull his fucking finger out and contact his best friend if he didn't want Sophie to jam something up the end of his dick. She tossed the phone back in the drawer before waiting for a reply. She didn't want to drive herself crazy waiting for one, and her phone was on silent so Ethan wouldn't hear it beep even if there was a reply. "He needs a good slap to the back of the head. You're right about it being what best friends are for. Only all mine are my family. It's not like I'd let them get away with not talking to me."
Ethan caught himself just before he made the mistake of snorting with a mouthful of toothpaste. He did that once in the paste when Tom had made him laugh and he nearly aspyhixiated himself. He rinsed his mouth out when he was done and grabbed up the handtowel. "If best friends aren't otherwise occupied elsewhere," he added as a small disclaimer. He came back into the bedroom combing his fingers through his hair. He needed a haircut, the curls were starting to get out of control again. "Maybe he just got too caught up in Stuart and forgot to bother."
Sophie pressed her lips together in slight amusement. "Well, yes, it's possible he's been too caught up in Stuart. Maybe they're stuck together literally? Do you even know if they've picked a date yet? Could be he's gone and run off in a fit after realising he's getting married." Her gaze flicked up to Ethan's hair as she realised what he must have been thinking. "Liam could give you a trim if you like."
"Bugger it," Ethan swore when he got to the bed and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. "I'm just going to take my pills. I've had a headache tonight, I don't want to wake up with a migraine." He went back into the bathroom, still trying to tame his hair. "I haven't seen Liam in days. He must be avoiding all the noisy sex we've not been having. And yeah, no. Haven't heard from Tom at all, so if they've set a date, it's news to me, and if he's run off without telling me, he can really go fuck himself sideways."
"Do you want a scalp massage?" Sophie called out after him. She rest her head back against the headboard and pulled her mouth to the side. "He's been back at work. I'm just wondering if he's worn himself out. I just hope he hasn't made himself sick again, but I'm assuming Joe would look after him. Maybe he's having lots of his own noisy sex." There was a beeping as Ethan's mobile went off on the other bedside table, and Sophie tried not to look too curious. "Your phone genuinely never bloody sleeps, does it?"
Ethan was digging around in the cupboard above the sink, now up on his tiptoes to reach the top shelf, despite being tall. "No, it doesn't. Can you check that and make sure my company hasn't been blown up or something?" he said and grabbed his bottle of prescription pills. He didn't need them all the time, it was just way better to take them as a precaution then end up with a horrible migraine that had him in bed for a day. "Would Liam even tell you if he was struggling again? I told him he better, but you know that unreadable look he gives you that makes you feel like he's just humouring you? Yeah, I got that. What's going on with him and Joe?"
"I hate that look," Sophie murmured as she stretched across the bed to grab up her husband's phone now she had permission. "It's from Tom," she called out. "No exploding companies. Hey, do you think if we talk about people more often they'll just contact us? We might have powerful ESP vibes. And Liam better if he knows what's bloody good for him. Well, I'm not allowed to call Joe 'his professor'. He's his lover. Apparently."
"Nope," Ethan called back before swallowing the pills with a mouthful of water from the tap. "I think the voodoo powers at play are more likely to be people's wives sending a heads-up text and telling the other person to get their finger out is more likely. Ironically, I have no psychic powers to actually suddenly answer. Weird that, huh? He can wait for me." He came out of the bathroom and took the phone off Sophie, opening the bedside drawer and dumping it in there. He pushed his pyjama pants down over his hips and let them drop to the floor in a pile so he could slip into bed naked. He took Sophie's hand and tugged it, urging her to straddle over him, lie on top of him, anything. "Come here... Fair enough. The bloke's not actually his professor. Sounds like he's got a bit of protectiveness going on there, he's trying to keep the whole concept as separate as possible so Joe's job isn't on the line. And I think unless he's half dead, he automatically seems to just try and cope on his own. Little brother syndrome. Stuart did exactly the same thing, and look what happened there. He thumped a wall and broke his fist."
Sophie tried not to look worried about Liam doing something stupid like thumping his hand against a wall. She still thought of Liam as a little boy, she just couldn't help it. Sometimes she just wasn't sure he was as tough as he wanted them to think he was. She made herself comfortable on top of Ethan and combed her fingers through his hair as she looked over his face and kissed him softly. "I'm more worried about something else breaking Liam. I can't help it. I just want to protect him... Protect all of them. Protect you..."
"That's the big sister's job, isn't it? I think he's a tougher cookie than we give him credit for. He just doesn't know how to stop. He still has a vulnerable side, he's still the youngest. He always will be. But look what he's achieved and he's barely out of the twenty-one pants. Compared to the rest of us, he is still a kid in that the big bad world is still out there for him to encounter. He lets you all take care of him, he just fights it sometimes." Ethan's head sunk into the pillow and he let out a heavy sigh that bordered on a soft growl. It was nice to lie down and relax. It was nice to have contact with Sophie again. He was already painfully hard and he couldn't resist the urge to rock his hips up against hers to steal a little friction.
"I know I probably drive him crazy, but it really is my job. All I want is for Liam to be happy and safe, and hope he just keeps succeeding. He deserves to get everything he wants." Sophie smirked lightly as she tugged on Ethan's curls gently. "I thought there wasn't any sex tonight, hm? You can't just be taking a little friction here and there." She trailed her mouth over his jaw and let out a soft sigh at the taste and feel of her husband. God, she'd missed him. It had been torture being so close and still so far. "I have a compromise..."
Ethan was actually surprised his brain even understood the word compromise. It was taking all his effort not to just lifted her up and enter her without question. It suddenly felt like forever since sex was on the menu, and even if the whole cutting off was his choice, that didn't mean he actually enjoyed any of it. "He's a hard worker, but he's vulnerable. You saw how easy it was for him to get sick. He still needs taking care of. Everyone does on some level, we just don't all like to admit it. You should go visit him, check on how he's holding up." His hands gripped at her hips to try and maintain some self control. "Hm?" he replied to the offer of a compromise, even if he wasn't sure he like that concept at the best of times.
Sophie nodded and murmured an agreement as she started to kiss down along Ethan's neck and moved slowly down his body. She was clearly working her way towards his erection. "Mmhmm... No sex, but there's still something I can definitely do to help you relieve the tension... remember the good things in life. And you can be as loud as you want, sweetheart. I'll visit him after work tomorrow. Then I'll bring home something for dinner. I don't think we should cook when there'll be sex on the menu."
Word Count | 5,061
Another day passed and Sophie was wondering what the hell she was going to do to make Ethan just stop ignoring her. She sat in their bedroom not really reading a book while Neil and Renee slept in their respective bedrooms and Ethan was in his study. She tossed the book onto the bed and picked up her silk robe before padding quietly through apartment to find her husband. She nudged open the door to his study before she slipped inside the room and circled his desk to sit in his lap. Important emails or not, Sophie was breaking out of the doghouse with a kiss to his lips.
It had nothing to do with pride. Not anymore. No matter who told him he was being stupid or looked at him with stupid looks about denying his wife, Ethan was holding firm on this point. Sophie telling him how he was supposed to have sex with her had pissed him off extensively. He also felt like it had come as a low blow considering he had been nothing but accommodating and flexible with her family. And it was a huge family, so that was a lot of accommodating and flexibility. He never asked much of her, he never expected anything of her. He never made her do anything she didn't want to. He just felt that their sex life had nothing to do with anyone else, and if her siblings couldn't handle it, they were welcome to go and stay somewhere else. He merely looked up at her, eyebrow raised but made no move to reciprocate the embrace. "I'm not having sex with you," he told her calmly. "You know my feelings on the subject."
"I'm not asking you to have sex, I just happen to miss my husband. I want to spend some time with him that doesn't involve sitting at opposite ends of a sofa, or sleeping away from each other." She let out a soft sigh as she started to comb her fingers through his hair and looked over Ethan's face. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'll crawl on my hands and needs if I have to. I'll do anything to make it up to you. I know I fucked up, and I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what? The fact it's okay for you to cut me off, but when I do it, I'm the world's most gigantic wanker who is on the receiving end of this look," Ethan paused and pulled a what the fuck face at her, "more often than I'm not? Your family are still here and I'm not suddenly going to change the way I have sex because of it. You don't think when we were dating, I did that enough? When we stayed at your parents', or wherever else when we were going out? I don't get it. I don't! Your sister is out there knocked up by a bloke none of you met, your youngest brother has more sex than probably the rest of your family put together, and you don't want to contaminate their delicate constutions because they're staying with us? Seriously?!"
Sophie shook her head. "I was being stupid, okay? I've gone mental with all the dramas lately. I just wasn't thinking. I won't give you any of those looks, and no one else has to. I can't thank you enough for putting up with all my family baggage, but you really don't need to change how you have sex. How we have sex. I was just being unreasonable and I know that now. I really do. You're the best husband I could have ever asked for. There are days I feel like I'll never be able to show how much I am in love with you for being this amazing."
Ethan looked up at her and then soon sighed with a slight shake of his head. "So, I thought I might go out and buy a Ferrari. Because evidently this is the start of a pre-mid life crisis, which is supposed to be the time your wife tells you that your sexual skills suck. Or something. Then I can spend all my time driving around in that when we would usually be having sex, and then no one can suffer the terrifying effect of realising a couple who have only been married half a year actually do something as shocking as have sex together. And now I'm just being prickish, because I'm annoyed. I got it when Liam was sick and the fact everyone just believed he had been fucking around on someone else's guy. I wasn't going to rub his nose it in then, and you were worried about his health. All cool, I understood. I had Tom who was going through bollocks too. But it's not just sex, alright? Sometimes, even just for fifteen minutes or so now and again, I like feeling like it's just you and me, and no one else. I happen to need that sometimes when I spend a good portion of my life with people watching at me and looking at me and taking note of everything I do. Maybe sex with my wife is something I have that I know no one else does. That's all."
"I'm not trying to take that away from you. I'm not, Ethan, please..." Sophie took his face in her hands and made him hold her gaze. "You're not having a pre-mid life crisis. And your wife isn't telling your your sexual skills suck. Far from it. You don't need to drive a car. I'm here, and I take back all my stupid bullshit. I was mental, I really was. Just ignore everything I said. I was the one having the pre-mid life crisis. It wasn't you. It was all me." She kissed his lips lightly before she rest her forehead against her husband's. "You can have me any time you want, you need to know that. I'll always be here for you. Always. I'm yours and yours alone. I'm not anyone else's wife."
"I never thought your family would come between us," Ethan told her with a small shrug. "I guess it's inevitable sometimes. That's kinda of hard to swallow, too. Please don't go overboard with the apologies, either. I'm still pissed off. I don't need placating. I just want to know why you said it, that's all. Dramas or not, why did you make with the sex commanding?"
Sophie pulled away and dropped into the seat opposite his on the other side of the desk. "I was just trying to be considerate, but Neil set me straight. I just thought being quiet was the way to go, I didn't mean to make it sound commanding. I didn't mean to make you think you couldn't just be yourself. We haven't had family stay with us since we got married. I don't know what the etiquette is if any."
Ethan looked over the desk at her and sunk down in his chair as he started to rub his eyes slowly with his fingers. Things still felt all discontent for some reason, and he hated it. It was like he was just waiting for something else to go wrong. Hell, Tom didn't even want to listen to him whine about things with Sophie. He had just stewed on it all instead. "It felt like that was just indications of other things. I don't know what. I haven't really talked to anyone about it. It was like, first you're telling me to shut up during sex, so what next? And just for the record, I don't actually think we're that loud. Isn't it just normal to get into it? If not, I must've been doing it wrong my whole life."
"Of course it's normal, I think maybe I was just trying to overcompensate because everything just feels so out of control lately. Nay's pregnant, Neil's back, Liam's sick, Jess and Liam aren't talking... I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm supposed to do anything. They're all adults now." Sophie tucked her arms around herself. "Maybe I just need to stop trying to protect them... I can be a sister, and a wife. And an aunty. I'm not the mother, right? We've got Mum for that." She looked at Ethan, her bottom lip trembling just a little bit. "I'm sorry, Ethan."
Ethan got up and rounded the desk and sat in the chair beside her. He was quiet as he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Do you want to be a mother? Is that a small part of it. You don't need to get defensive and assure me that's not what you're thinking. We should talk about this sort of thing, right? Did you maybe think you would be the first to have a baby in your family?"
Sophie turned her head to look at him as she slowly nodded. "Maybe just a little bit... It makes me feel horrible. It's not like Nay can't be the first one pregnant. She's gorgeous and all glowy even if she's scared. I just can't believe she never said anything. I'd be screaming it from the rooftops if I got pregnant, but then I guess it'd be your baby and made out of love. Not something that would be a mistake. It wouldn't be a mistake, right? If we had a kid we'd love them... But I know we're not ready for it, and that really is okay."
"Maybe we are, on some levels," Ethan mused with a small shrug. "It's not like I don't ever think about it. You get married, kids are a natural next thought. The thing is, I'm selfish, and I was raised traditionally. I'd want at least one parent home with my kids, at least until school age. I had my mum there when I was growing up, and I still remember that, even today. I know she's always there for me when I need her. Same as Dad, he was just more with the life's manly lessons and all that," he said with a laugh. "But that was thirty years ago. I'm just not going to tell you to give up your work for that. I also got the sense with Renee that she got herself into a corner. She made a mistake, but her own morals just didn't let her get a termination. She didn't really have much choice at the end of the day, and she buried her head in the sand about it. Human nature. It was a mistake she knew none of her family could fix for her, either. Which had to be hard."
Sophie brushed her fingers up and down Ethan's arm as she leaned against him in the embrace. "I would, you know. I'd stay home. I never mentioned it before because you never asked. My Mum did the same thing for all of us. Even when it came to Liam and there were plenty of us that could have covered for her. She still wanted make sure all of us knew her, were close to her. I want to be that for my babies. Or baby. I'm not going to say we should have a big family just because I had one. Truth is I still don't know how Mum and Dad coped with all eight of us, but they made it look easy. I just want to help Renee. I think she's considering living with Declan, and Neil will find his own space. Maybe even live with Zac, so we'll get our own space soon. I just wish Nay didn't have to go through it all alone. She could have had us around her."
Ethan shook his head with a small smile. "I wouldn't have asked. I might have been brought up traditionally and with old English values, but I'm not one of those who thinks my wife is my property, just there to breed me an heir. I don't deny that I would love a son to carry on my name. Mum couldn't have anymore kids after me, but she always wished for one of each, but it wasn't meant to be. I know she'd love for me to have a little girl, too. It's not absolutely vital to have a boy. Whatever we have will still inherit my family's wealth. Just to be completely honest with you, though, I'm not sure I would want a load of kids. I'm more used to being around small families, I think I would suck as a dad to a shitload. Some people just have that mojo, but I don't think I do. Not really sure I have the father mojo much at all... You should talk to her. Or you all should. Call a family meeting, I don't know. She's running out of time. She could have that kid at any minute."
Sophie kissed his brow before going back to resting her head against his. "I wouldn't ask you to have a big family. I just wouldn't. I think with you a small family would be just perfect. If I can give you one of each then I'd be happy. But it's nice to know it'll be okay if I just give you a girl. Your mum should get to experience grandkids. She'd rock as a grandma. Both of our mums would. I think you underestimate your mojo, but we won't rush into it. I'm not asking you to start a family right now. I'm just selfish enough to wish I'd been first. I feel so stupid." Sophie looked at Ethan. "That's a good idea. Thank you."
Ethan gave a small yawn and nodded. "My parents would love grandkids. I think they started hoping for that when I was still in nappies. The family bond and love is still there, even in small families. Tom's parents are the same, but I think they just resolved themselves to the fact they would never have it. At least, until Stuart. Now they're in for a shock," he said with a smirk. "I'm just worried how kids would fit into my life. Some days, I come home so exhausted, I can't even think straight. Other days I can be locked in conferences for hours on end and not even have time to make personal phone calls. There's trips overseas, functions, meetings. I just don't know. In saying that, a lot of my colleagues and associates have families. They seem to pull it off."
"We don't have to do it right away, but maybe it might be nice to just start thinking about it a little. I know we haven't been married long, and it's scary no matter when you start having kids. We'll be in it together, though. They'll still know you. You're a busy man, and that's okay. You're not doing all these things to get away from your family. You're not one of those men." She slid her fingers between his. "Come to bed, sweetheart. No sex, just cuddles and sleeping together. I miss you wrapped around me. If a family's meant to be, it'll happen. We'll find a way. Do you think Tom's parents will be happy?"
Ethan figured he would probably talk to Tom about the whole issue. Or try. Tom really hadn't been all that receptive when Ethan was upset about the fight with Sophie. He really hoped that with all the changes, they weren't growing apart. In fact, just the thought of that felt like someone was kicking him in the gut. Tom was the closest thing to a brother Ethan ever had, and the only one he confided in for a very long time. "Well, hopefully those who don't have the natural parent mojo manage to learn it okay somehow. Maybe they have classes," he joked, stretching his tired muscles out a little with a nod at her suggestion. They had been back two days from New York, but he was still a little jetlagged. It always took it's toll on him.
Sophie kissed him softly and stood up to tug Ethan with her so they could slip off to bed. Her fingers twined with his and she tucked herself up against his side as they walked. "Classes with little cheat sheets for when we're going mental trying to figure out the answers. You okay, sweetheart? Is there more on your mind than... our fight?"
Ethan sniggered a little. "You say that like you're even going to need cheat sheets. You've had babies and kids around you forever." He shrugged a little and flicked off the lights in the living area as they passed. "I'm a bit worried Tom and me are growing apart. We hardly talk anymore. I tried talking to him about our stuff and he seemed awkward with it, like I was just being stupid about it. I didn't even want to try and talk to him about what I was really feeling then, so I just... didn't. Then I haven't seen much of him. I don't know, something just feels off."
Sophie grinned. "It's got to be different when it's your own kids. I'll be scared to break them. Plus they'll be a Williamson heir. That's a lot of responsibility." She rubbed her free hand against Ethan's arm. "I'm sorry, love. I can't imagine you and Tom growing apart. You've always been you and Tom. Maybe you should go and see him? Or invite him and Stuart over. We can have a dinner together. I'll cook."
Ethan smirked faintly. "Not until they're at least eighteen. Until then, they're just normal kids. Even after that, they're just normal kids with massive trust funds. Just like I was." He shrugged again and shook his head. "Dinner, whatever. Not like I'm exactly going to have a chance to talk to him with other people at the dinner, so it's not going to solve anything, but whatever you think. I've tried to go see him three times this week. He either wasn't home or ignoring the doorbell."
Sophie looked up at him. "So should I be warned now about anything these normal kids with massive trust funds might get up to?" She let out a sigh. "Oh, right... Well, that's not going to work. Forget the dinner. Want me to go over there and do a bit of wife lecturing? I'm sure he has his reasons, I just don't get them. Maybe he's just hiding in bed with Stuart. Isn't he taking time off to get better? What else has changed?"
"Don't know," Ethan murmured when they reached the bedroom and he started to untie his bathrobe. "Maybe he just thinks my no sex issues were bullshit in comparison to his. I don't know, I really don't. I never got that feeling off Tom before, but he didn't really want to hear it, even if he was answering me initially. I was just getting a feel. I'm just kinda pissed off. I stuck by him through everything, but the minute things screw up a bit for me, he's unavailable... or bored. I don't know. Maybe I was whining about it too much, but I figured that's what a best friend was for." He went into the adjoining bathroom to use the toilet. "And you know what? It'd be nice to just get a call to ask how I am."
Sophie slipped back out of her silk robe and hung it off the bed post before she crawled between the sheets again and got comfortable as she waited for Ethan. A frown creased her brow as she thought about Tom, and she just couldn't put it together. She'd never known the two best friends not to talk to each other. They'd been close since she first met Tom, and then Ethan and the two almost came as a package. "Maybe you just need to let him stew for a bit. See how he likes it. I just don't get it, though."
Ethan paused for a moment in front of the mirror, toothpaste poised over the toothbrush. He looked at his reflection, seeing him scrunch his nose up reflexively. "Yeah, I guess. What's a bit, though? He hasn't called, he's not going to. Simple. He's got his own shit going on and he doesn't want to hear about my sex life, even though I have sat and listened about his monotonously since he met Stuart." He shook his head and squirted the toothpaste onto the brush. "I dunno. I don't care. He can stick it up his arse. I don't need to talk to him if he doesn't want to listen anyway."
Sophie sat up in the bed and opened the drawer next to her to pull out her mobile. While Ethan brushed his teeth she sent Tom a text to say he better pull his fucking finger out and contact his best friend if he didn't want Sophie to jam something up the end of his dick. She tossed the phone back in the drawer before waiting for a reply. She didn't want to drive herself crazy waiting for one, and her phone was on silent so Ethan wouldn't hear it beep even if there was a reply. "He needs a good slap to the back of the head. You're right about it being what best friends are for. Only all mine are my family. It's not like I'd let them get away with not talking to me."
Ethan caught himself just before he made the mistake of snorting with a mouthful of toothpaste. He did that once in the paste when Tom had made him laugh and he nearly aspyhixiated himself. He rinsed his mouth out when he was done and grabbed up the handtowel. "If best friends aren't otherwise occupied elsewhere," he added as a small disclaimer. He came back into the bedroom combing his fingers through his hair. He needed a haircut, the curls were starting to get out of control again. "Maybe he just got too caught up in Stuart and forgot to bother."
Sophie pressed her lips together in slight amusement. "Well, yes, it's possible he's been too caught up in Stuart. Maybe they're stuck together literally? Do you even know if they've picked a date yet? Could be he's gone and run off in a fit after realising he's getting married." Her gaze flicked up to Ethan's hair as she realised what he must have been thinking. "Liam could give you a trim if you like."
"Bugger it," Ethan swore when he got to the bed and pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. "I'm just going to take my pills. I've had a headache tonight, I don't want to wake up with a migraine." He went back into the bathroom, still trying to tame his hair. "I haven't seen Liam in days. He must be avoiding all the noisy sex we've not been having. And yeah, no. Haven't heard from Tom at all, so if they've set a date, it's news to me, and if he's run off without telling me, he can really go fuck himself sideways."
"Do you want a scalp massage?" Sophie called out after him. She rest her head back against the headboard and pulled her mouth to the side. "He's been back at work. I'm just wondering if he's worn himself out. I just hope he hasn't made himself sick again, but I'm assuming Joe would look after him. Maybe he's having lots of his own noisy sex." There was a beeping as Ethan's mobile went off on the other bedside table, and Sophie tried not to look too curious. "Your phone genuinely never bloody sleeps, does it?"
Ethan was digging around in the cupboard above the sink, now up on his tiptoes to reach the top shelf, despite being tall. "No, it doesn't. Can you check that and make sure my company hasn't been blown up or something?" he said and grabbed his bottle of prescription pills. He didn't need them all the time, it was just way better to take them as a precaution then end up with a horrible migraine that had him in bed for a day. "Would Liam even tell you if he was struggling again? I told him he better, but you know that unreadable look he gives you that makes you feel like he's just humouring you? Yeah, I got that. What's going on with him and Joe?"
"I hate that look," Sophie murmured as she stretched across the bed to grab up her husband's phone now she had permission. "It's from Tom," she called out. "No exploding companies. Hey, do you think if we talk about people more often they'll just contact us? We might have powerful ESP vibes. And Liam better if he knows what's bloody good for him. Well, I'm not allowed to call Joe 'his professor'. He's his lover. Apparently."
"Nope," Ethan called back before swallowing the pills with a mouthful of water from the tap. "I think the voodoo powers at play are more likely to be people's wives sending a heads-up text and telling the other person to get their finger out is more likely. Ironically, I have no psychic powers to actually suddenly answer. Weird that, huh? He can wait for me." He came out of the bathroom and took the phone off Sophie, opening the bedside drawer and dumping it in there. He pushed his pyjama pants down over his hips and let them drop to the floor in a pile so he could slip into bed naked. He took Sophie's hand and tugged it, urging her to straddle over him, lie on top of him, anything. "Come here... Fair enough. The bloke's not actually his professor. Sounds like he's got a bit of protectiveness going on there, he's trying to keep the whole concept as separate as possible so Joe's job isn't on the line. And I think unless he's half dead, he automatically seems to just try and cope on his own. Little brother syndrome. Stuart did exactly the same thing, and look what happened there. He thumped a wall and broke his fist."
Sophie tried not to look worried about Liam doing something stupid like thumping his hand against a wall. She still thought of Liam as a little boy, she just couldn't help it. Sometimes she just wasn't sure he was as tough as he wanted them to think he was. She made herself comfortable on top of Ethan and combed her fingers through his hair as she looked over his face and kissed him softly. "I'm more worried about something else breaking Liam. I can't help it. I just want to protect him... Protect all of them. Protect you..."
"That's the big sister's job, isn't it? I think he's a tougher cookie than we give him credit for. He just doesn't know how to stop. He still has a vulnerable side, he's still the youngest. He always will be. But look what he's achieved and he's barely out of the twenty-one pants. Compared to the rest of us, he is still a kid in that the big bad world is still out there for him to encounter. He lets you all take care of him, he just fights it sometimes." Ethan's head sunk into the pillow and he let out a heavy sigh that bordered on a soft growl. It was nice to lie down and relax. It was nice to have contact with Sophie again. He was already painfully hard and he couldn't resist the urge to rock his hips up against hers to steal a little friction.
"I know I probably drive him crazy, but it really is my job. All I want is for Liam to be happy and safe, and hope he just keeps succeeding. He deserves to get everything he wants." Sophie smirked lightly as she tugged on Ethan's curls gently. "I thought there wasn't any sex tonight, hm? You can't just be taking a little friction here and there." She trailed her mouth over his jaw and let out a soft sigh at the taste and feel of her husband. God, she'd missed him. It had been torture being so close and still so far. "I have a compromise..."
Ethan was actually surprised his brain even understood the word compromise. It was taking all his effort not to just lifted her up and enter her without question. It suddenly felt like forever since sex was on the menu, and even if the whole cutting off was his choice, that didn't mean he actually enjoyed any of it. "He's a hard worker, but he's vulnerable. You saw how easy it was for him to get sick. He still needs taking care of. Everyone does on some level, we just don't all like to admit it. You should go visit him, check on how he's holding up." His hands gripped at her hips to try and maintain some self control. "Hm?" he replied to the offer of a compromise, even if he wasn't sure he like that concept at the best of times.
Sophie nodded and murmured an agreement as she started to kiss down along Ethan's neck and moved slowly down his body. She was clearly working her way towards his erection. "Mmhmm... No sex, but there's still something I can definitely do to help you relieve the tension... remember the good things in life. And you can be as loud as you want, sweetheart. I'll visit him after work tomorrow. Then I'll bring home something for dinner. I don't think we should cook when there'll be sex on the menu."
Word Count | 5,061