What a strange feeling
Right now I feel as though I am trapped between two worlds. Between the world of home and Vienna and high school, and the world of college and JMU and independence. Most of my friends are already at their college, and having new and wonderful experiences, making new and wonderful friends. I almost feel awkward even talking to them. Actually, I have had no contact with any of my friends since they've been at college, with the exception of Blake's comment on my previous entry, which started me thinking, thus prompting this entry. There was the end of Oliver, and lots of goodbyes. Then I went on vacation for a week, during which most of my friends went to college. I thought going on vacation would be a good transition, kinda working my way away from Vienna, and into a new mindset. But then I come home, and I still have a few days until I too leave. I saw Julian Brown at Best Buy on Saturday (he works there) and we discussed, briefly, how much it sucks that we're some of the last to leave (he doesn't leave till Saturday, even later than me). I mean, it's nice that I have these few extra days to hang out with some of my non-graduated friends. Katie's BBQ was a lot of fun on Saturday night, but I felt so old (the next oldest person there is a rising Junior), and I'm hanging out with Courtnie and Steph on Tuesday, and Kate tomorrow night. But I feel kinda left out that I'm not having wonderful new experiences and making wonderful new friends at college. It feels like I've lost a whole group of friends (though I know I'll end up keeping in touch with most of them through college, and seeing them on breaks), but haven't gained any new ones yet. I think I'll feel better once I'm actually at JMU. But I'm still kinda nervous. About several things. I haven't started packing yet, though I have all my stuff that I need. I'm nervous about making new friends, though I'm sure I'll be just fine, and besides I already know several people there. I don't know anything about my roommate (we only talked for about 5 minutes on the phone), and what if he's completely different than me? What if he listens to only hip-hop (that would drive me mad)? Or, worse, country? I guess worrying never really helps anything. If it can be fixed, then there's no need to worry, and if it can't be fixed, worrying won't help anything anyway.
I guess the whole point of this entry is to say that I feel like I'm in a sort of twilight zone (not exactly like the old TV show, but kinda) between what I'm leaving behind, and what I'm moving onward towards.
I just thought of something. I think I know why I haven't talked to any of my friends who are currently at college...it's probably because they'd want to talk about stuff that's going on in their new environment (their roommate, activities they've started already, etc), and I wouldn't have anything meaningful to talk about. Once I get to JMU that will change, methinks...I hope...
I guess the whole point of this entry is to say that I feel like I'm in a sort of twilight zone (not exactly like the old TV show, but kinda) between what I'm leaving behind, and what I'm moving onward towards.
I just thought of something. I think I know why I haven't talked to any of my friends who are currently at college...it's probably because they'd want to talk about stuff that's going on in their new environment (their roommate, activities they've started already, etc), and I wouldn't have anything meaningful to talk about. Once I get to JMU that will change, methinks...I hope...