I guess I misjudged love between a father and his son
Only 30 more min until I am off of work and I get to go to bed, woohoo!
Been thinking about reenacting a lot recently and what is wrong. Came up with some conclusions based upon my own feelings and those of others. Talked to my Dad about it all and he gave me some interesting advice, some of which I will apply.
Growing up my Dad and I were not close at all. If we did anything together and it did not end in yelling it was a miracle. That is not to say that he did not love me or me him, it was that we were completely different. Things started changing in our relationship when I went off to college, and now that I am back home while I am in grad school my Dad and I have bonded a lot more. And it is the smple things, like despite my lack of mechanical skills I help my Dad with renovations in the house, and if I have absolutely no clue, I just talk to him and basically we bullshit around. Another thing that has really been weird is we have bonded on sports. This might seem to be no big deal, but my Dad was not a sports fan by any stretch of the imagination, unless I was playing, but now it is common place in the summer time for us to be watching the Orioles, or in the fall/winter to watch the Steelers and Penn State. One of my favorite things to do is go to a ball game with him. The game might suck, but the ride down and back, plus the game all we do is talk about life and baseball and it is so enjoyable because we never used to talk at all and now it is my favorite things to do wtih him. My Mom seems to think that it is b/c I am an adult now, and that means we have more things in common, this might be true, in any case I am happy that we finally get a long. Now that I work werid hours, my Dad is usually the last person I talk to before I leave for work, and he always says "have a good night."
I have seen my Dad cry on only a handful occasions, when my Pap died, the day I left for college, and the day I got my degree. The fact that two of those events involved major events in my life means a lot to me. In conclusion, even though my Dad will never see this, I would just like to say thanks and I love you Dad! There is a song that makes me think of him all the time "The Last Song."
Lyrics
Yesterday you came to lift me up
As light as straw and brittle as a bird
Today I weigh less than a shadow on the wall
Just one more whisper of a voice unheard
Tomorrow leave the windows open
As fear grows please hold me in your arms
Won't you help me if you can to shake this anger
I need your gentle hands to keep me calm
`Cause I never thought I'd lose
I only thought I'd win
I never dreamed I'd feel
This fire beneath my skin
I can't believe you love me
I never thought you'd come
I guess I misjudged love
Between a father and his son
Things we never said come together
The hidden truth no longer haunting me
Tonight we touched on the things that were never spoken
That kind of understanding sets me free
Well enough of the mushy stuff, tonight I am go to hockey game with Hammy, JV, Z, and Laurie. Looking forward to the game, I just hope the subject of reenacting does not come up, it gets me in a pissy mood. After the game I might go out and do something with some other friends, not sure, we shall see.
Regards,
Been thinking about reenacting a lot recently and what is wrong. Came up with some conclusions based upon my own feelings and those of others. Talked to my Dad about it all and he gave me some interesting advice, some of which I will apply.
Growing up my Dad and I were not close at all. If we did anything together and it did not end in yelling it was a miracle. That is not to say that he did not love me or me him, it was that we were completely different. Things started changing in our relationship when I went off to college, and now that I am back home while I am in grad school my Dad and I have bonded a lot more. And it is the smple things, like despite my lack of mechanical skills I help my Dad with renovations in the house, and if I have absolutely no clue, I just talk to him and basically we bullshit around. Another thing that has really been weird is we have bonded on sports. This might seem to be no big deal, but my Dad was not a sports fan by any stretch of the imagination, unless I was playing, but now it is common place in the summer time for us to be watching the Orioles, or in the fall/winter to watch the Steelers and Penn State. One of my favorite things to do is go to a ball game with him. The game might suck, but the ride down and back, plus the game all we do is talk about life and baseball and it is so enjoyable because we never used to talk at all and now it is my favorite things to do wtih him. My Mom seems to think that it is b/c I am an adult now, and that means we have more things in common, this might be true, in any case I am happy that we finally get a long. Now that I work werid hours, my Dad is usually the last person I talk to before I leave for work, and he always says "have a good night."
I have seen my Dad cry on only a handful occasions, when my Pap died, the day I left for college, and the day I got my degree. The fact that two of those events involved major events in my life means a lot to me. In conclusion, even though my Dad will never see this, I would just like to say thanks and I love you Dad! There is a song that makes me think of him all the time "The Last Song."
Lyrics
Yesterday you came to lift me up
As light as straw and brittle as a bird
Today I weigh less than a shadow on the wall
Just one more whisper of a voice unheard
Tomorrow leave the windows open
As fear grows please hold me in your arms
Won't you help me if you can to shake this anger
I need your gentle hands to keep me calm
`Cause I never thought I'd lose
I only thought I'd win
I never dreamed I'd feel
This fire beneath my skin
I can't believe you love me
I never thought you'd come
I guess I misjudged love
Between a father and his son
Things we never said come together
The hidden truth no longer haunting me
Tonight we touched on the things that were never spoken
That kind of understanding sets me free
Well enough of the mushy stuff, tonight I am go to hockey game with Hammy, JV, Z, and Laurie. Looking forward to the game, I just hope the subject of reenacting does not come up, it gets me in a pissy mood. After the game I might go out and do something with some other friends, not sure, we shall see.
Regards,