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Why Men Die First
Why men die first is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but now we know: If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist; if you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy. If you work too hard, there’s never any time for her; if you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation; if you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism; if she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment; if you keep quiet it's male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp; if you don't, you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist; if she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination; if she asks you, it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert; if you don't, you're gay. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist; if you don't, you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain; if you don't, you're a slob. If you buy her flowers, you're after something; if you don't, you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself; if you aren't you're not ambitious. If she has a headache, she's tired; if you have a headache, you don't love her anymore. Men die first because they want to.
Why men die first is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but now we know: If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist; if you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy. If you work too hard, there’s never any time for her; if you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation; if you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism; if she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment; if you keep quiet it's male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp; if you don't, you're an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist; if she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination; if she asks you, it's a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert; if you don't, you're gay. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist; if you don't, you're unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain; if you don't, you're a slob. If you buy her flowers, you're after something; if you don't, you're not thoughtful. If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself; if you aren't you're not ambitious. If she has a headache, she's tired; if you have a headache, you don't love her anymore. Men die first because they want to.