Title: see below
Title:
"Are you involved with the gay minister" and other things old guys said to me through their glorified Speak 'n Spells.
Oy veh folks. It has been a troubled existence for Texas John, rife with bizarre tales that would make those convinced atheists who would rather believe in the inherent goodness of men do a couple of 180 degree turns, jaws hanging open and minds deciding between a race or slashed hamsters' tires. Indeed it has been a month that has lowered the bar for God, sort of an Agnostic open enrollment while those looking for the higher power get to look around and say "Oh yeah, mustn't take much to get 'higher-power-status' over this collective bag of bumbling ineptitude for take-your-pick". At any given recent point, I could have easily taken a rock and tossed it in the air trusting only to improve the quality of life around me as someone bought it (note to self: carry more rocks).
Let's see, a strange girl found her way into my apartment last week at about 6 am. You see, she had been at a party down the road, gotten into a fight with somebody and in her inebriated (freakin' duh) state went into our backyard, up three flights of deck stairs and into our living room. She crashed on our couch and was found by my roommate who must've thought at least one of the following:
"What the hell did John pick up last night?"
"Hmmm. I guess he meant something else by 'I believe in abstinence before marriage'"
"What a badass. He made her sleep outside on the couch!"
It got wierder from there. But hey, doesn't everything, really? And it could have been worse, I suppose. She could have been out to burgle the slanty shanty. Hell, she could have been that 65 year old guy that I waited on a couple of weeks ago who gave me his hotel room number and told me to come on up after my shift. Where's a speak 'n spell when you need one? Assault and battery by Tiger Electronics. "Come back Ali. Come back Ali's sister." Darn skippy!
I want to give a speak 'n spell to all Episcopalians that suck. They will henceforth only be able to talk to me like the freaking Stephen Hawking of Worship that they think they are. Ah ah ah...In latin please, remember that the decade of evangelism is over and this is 2003. We should really get back to not making any sense at all. Then we could succeed in being an elitist society bored with the God who spoke the Universe into existence!
Hasta
"Are you involved with the gay minister" and other things old guys said to me through their glorified Speak 'n Spells.
Oy veh folks. It has been a troubled existence for Texas John, rife with bizarre tales that would make those convinced atheists who would rather believe in the inherent goodness of men do a couple of 180 degree turns, jaws hanging open and minds deciding between a race or slashed hamsters' tires. Indeed it has been a month that has lowered the bar for God, sort of an Agnostic open enrollment while those looking for the higher power get to look around and say "Oh yeah, mustn't take much to get 'higher-power-status' over this collective bag of bumbling ineptitude for take-your-pick". At any given recent point, I could have easily taken a rock and tossed it in the air trusting only to improve the quality of life around me as someone bought it (note to self: carry more rocks).
Let's see, a strange girl found her way into my apartment last week at about 6 am. You see, she had been at a party down the road, gotten into a fight with somebody and in her inebriated (freakin' duh) state went into our backyard, up three flights of deck stairs and into our living room. She crashed on our couch and was found by my roommate who must've thought at least one of the following:
"What the hell did John pick up last night?"
"Hmmm. I guess he meant something else by 'I believe in abstinence before marriage'"
"What a badass. He made her sleep outside on the couch!"
It got wierder from there. But hey, doesn't everything, really? And it could have been worse, I suppose. She could have been out to burgle the slanty shanty. Hell, she could have been that 65 year old guy that I waited on a couple of weeks ago who gave me his hotel room number and told me to come on up after my shift. Where's a speak 'n spell when you need one? Assault and battery by Tiger Electronics. "Come back Ali. Come back Ali's sister." Darn skippy!
I want to give a speak 'n spell to all Episcopalians that suck. They will henceforth only be able to talk to me like the freaking Stephen Hawking of Worship that they think they are. Ah ah ah...In latin please, remember that the decade of evangelism is over and this is 2003. We should really get back to not making any sense at all. Then we could succeed in being an elitist society bored with the God who spoke the Universe into existence!
Hasta