Slow down a bit why don't ya...
I'm not sure why I decided to click on that dusty little button in my bookmark that says "livejournal". Nonetheless, apparently it's time for my return. Perhaps it's because today was the first day in 10 days that I haven't woken up before 7am (my apologies to you weary and blurry-eyed students who are now shaking your fists because that's your world).
Perhaps it's because I'm feeling quiet since Paul moved out. Not that Paul and I really spent much time together these last couple of months, mind you. But his computer speakers were the only speakers in this apartment that worked, leaving my music (noise) options significantly reduced.
That said, I'm not really minding the quiet. I've been thinking on this idea of Sabbath, a relaxed day of not working, and how I haven't been successful at designating such a day for myself in quite some time. It seems that I'm always doing some sort of work, be it performing at churches, updating websites, practicing worship songs (there's an interesting dichotomy between practicing worship songs and worshiping at home that I'll spare you for another time) or waiting tables. The last one is particularly telling of my inability to take rest, since I historically have scheduled my shifts at McCormick's to be any day that I'm not playing at a church.
The result seems to be twofold. One part is simply weariness. In booking work for each day, I allow myself to fall into a mentality of running around, always trying to stay one step ahead of my own grueling schedule. For the last month, when people have asked me the hallowed small talk opener "How have you been?", I've been naturally (and justifiably) inclined to respond with "Busy". This is something that I want desperately to stop for a number of reasons that I'll spare you all. I just think that our culture expects busyness (surely not something I need to tell the students reading this) and it's no longer an identifying characteristic. After all, how many out there could look at my schedule and say "Puh-leeeease, you think that you're busy. I'll show you what busy really is"? Here in New England, everyone's "busy" and I find that I would rather search for words that reveal something about me that couldn't be placed on the sliding scale of public relativity; words like "purposeful", "worshipful", "centered", "relaxed", or even "incredibly dependant on God".
And it's that last one that I find to be at the heart of the second result of my scheduling a seven day work week: in doing so, I'm ignoring a direct promise of God that if I am dependant on God, then all of my needs will be met. If I'm picking up shifts at McCormick's so that I have no day to remind myself that God is a provider and actually gets glorified when I don't overwork myself, I'm putting an idol before God. I'm saying to God, "I've heard that You provide, that all things come from You. But I don't actually believe that it's true."
I was talking to my mother about this yesterday and she asked if I would be able to make ends meet, taking a day out of my schedule. In my life, theology and mathematics don't often cross paths (go figure!), but here was a rare instance. I quickly looked at the four days of restaurant pay, per month, that I'd be missing and realized that I probably spend that money on things that I don't need anyways. If my name were Jesus Christ (which it actually is in a spiritual sense, YAY grace - Colossians 1:24-28), would I really long for a more complete wardrobe or home entertainment (or public entertainment for that matter)? It would appear that trusting in God's promises (which are 100% true and trustworthy) goes a little deeper than just taking a day off. It means being intentional about prayer so that the voice of the Spirit of Jesus in me can get a little louder as it tells me how to live my life and use the money that I've been given.
So it's going to be a quieter day as I celebrate that God works 24 hours a day, seven days a week so that we don't have to. Louie Giglio likes to remind us that Adam and Eve were created on the sixth day, only to be told to rest on the seventh. It's not like they'd been working, but they were reminded that God had been and will continue to do so. Hallelujah!
Hasta.
Perhaps it's because I'm feeling quiet since Paul moved out. Not that Paul and I really spent much time together these last couple of months, mind you. But his computer speakers were the only speakers in this apartment that worked, leaving my music (noise) options significantly reduced.
That said, I'm not really minding the quiet. I've been thinking on this idea of Sabbath, a relaxed day of not working, and how I haven't been successful at designating such a day for myself in quite some time. It seems that I'm always doing some sort of work, be it performing at churches, updating websites, practicing worship songs (there's an interesting dichotomy between practicing worship songs and worshiping at home that I'll spare you for another time) or waiting tables. The last one is particularly telling of my inability to take rest, since I historically have scheduled my shifts at McCormick's to be any day that I'm not playing at a church.
The result seems to be twofold. One part is simply weariness. In booking work for each day, I allow myself to fall into a mentality of running around, always trying to stay one step ahead of my own grueling schedule. For the last month, when people have asked me the hallowed small talk opener "How have you been?", I've been naturally (and justifiably) inclined to respond with "Busy". This is something that I want desperately to stop for a number of reasons that I'll spare you all. I just think that our culture expects busyness (surely not something I need to tell the students reading this) and it's no longer an identifying characteristic. After all, how many out there could look at my schedule and say "Puh-leeeease, you think that you're busy. I'll show you what busy really is"? Here in New England, everyone's "busy" and I find that I would rather search for words that reveal something about me that couldn't be placed on the sliding scale of public relativity; words like "purposeful", "worshipful", "centered", "relaxed", or even "incredibly dependant on God".
And it's that last one that I find to be at the heart of the second result of my scheduling a seven day work week: in doing so, I'm ignoring a direct promise of God that if I am dependant on God, then all of my needs will be met. If I'm picking up shifts at McCormick's so that I have no day to remind myself that God is a provider and actually gets glorified when I don't overwork myself, I'm putting an idol before God. I'm saying to God, "I've heard that You provide, that all things come from You. But I don't actually believe that it's true."
I was talking to my mother about this yesterday and she asked if I would be able to make ends meet, taking a day out of my schedule. In my life, theology and mathematics don't often cross paths (go figure!), but here was a rare instance. I quickly looked at the four days of restaurant pay, per month, that I'd be missing and realized that I probably spend that money on things that I don't need anyways. If my name were Jesus Christ (which it actually is in a spiritual sense, YAY grace - Colossians 1:24-28), would I really long for a more complete wardrobe or home entertainment (or public entertainment for that matter)? It would appear that trusting in God's promises (which are 100% true and trustworthy) goes a little deeper than just taking a day off. It means being intentional about prayer so that the voice of the Spirit of Jesus in me can get a little louder as it tells me how to live my life and use the money that I've been given.
So it's going to be a quieter day as I celebrate that God works 24 hours a day, seven days a week so that we don't have to. Louie Giglio likes to remind us that Adam and Eve were created on the sixth day, only to be told to rest on the seventh. It's not like they'd been working, but they were reminded that God had been and will continue to do so. Hallelujah!
Hasta.